


The Man with the Green Eyes

by Luces



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angry Sex, Drama & Romance, Erotica, F/M, Face-Sitting, Friends With Benefits, Light Bondage, Misunderstandings, OFC Lana was created and named before wrestler Lana's debut but that Lana has cameo, Open Relationship, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Rough Sex, Smut, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-01-13 15:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 131,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1232335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luces/pseuds/Luces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lana was content enough with her simple boring life until one night when some wrestlers come out to the bar she tends at after a show. A peculiar green eyed young man challenges himself to mess with that simple life. (I concede that his eyes are blue but I'm too stubborn to change the title.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Challenge

It was so quiet in the bar that night that I could hear the clock ticking over the quiet drone of the TV. It was pushing midnight and there were only a few people leftover from earlier. Mondays weren’t really known for being the busiest drinking night of the week. You’d think that people would want to drink away the frustration of going back to work, but I think most just wanted to go home and sleep off their stress.

I stared absentmindedly towards the back of the bar, my chin resting in my hands. I was just trying to wait out the rest of the night out so I could go back to my apartment. Luckily for me, it wasn’t a long walk, as I had rented one of the apartments in the complex above the bar a few months prior. It was convenient, but sometimes it was annoying to be so close to work.

My co-worker, David, came out from the back with some clean glasses, snapping me out of my bored haze.

“Hey lazy, can you help me put these away?”

“Yeah, yeah, jerk.” I flashed him a smile. I had worked with him for about two years and he had become one of my best friends. I looked forward to whenever we had a shift together. As we put the glasses away, we began to talk.

“So the only ones left are that couple on a date and Larry down the bar.  When the couple leaves, you wanna close up early? I mean, no one has come in since 11:30 and we’d normally close in less than an hour. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get to bed,” he said.

“You read my mind, man. I’ve been catching up on The Walking Dead lately and I’ve been waiting all night to get back upstairs and see the next episode.”

“Oh-ho, those are some big plans! Sounds exciting. Isn’t that what you’ve been doing every night for the past 7 months?”

“Nope. Before that, it was Breaking Bad and before that was Dexter.” I smiled at him jokingly because I knew where he was going with this. He said the same thing to me at least once a week.

“Lana, seriously, you don’t get lonely?”

“Nah, not really. I have you and Larry!” I filled up another beer and brought it over to the older man sitting at the bar.

“You know what I mean. You haven’t dated or anything since the divorce. You haven’t even, you know, had your lady bits handled since then, right?”

I shot him a look of disdain. “I was married for two years. I was with that same man since my senior year of college. One day, I get home late from working here only to find an empty house and his wedding ring on the table. I haven’t seen him since then and the only communication I got at all was when divorce papers arrived at my house and there was a note from him attached. Do you really think that I want to get involved with something like that again? Do you seriously think I want to try to open my heart up to someone who is just going to disappear without a fucking trace? With no explanation? Fuck. No.”

“Well, you don’t really need to open your heart to open your legs, do you?”

I stared hard at him in silence before I responded. “Did you really just say that? You sound like a damn episode of Sex and the City or something.”

“What can I say? I like the idea of horny women slutting it up.”

The couple got up to leave. I waved and wished them a good night as they left.

"You go tell Larry we’re closing up and I’ll go grab the cleaning supplies.”

I walked into the backroom and started to prepare for closing when I heard the front door open and what sounded like a clown car filled with loud, energetic people fill in to the bar. I put down the towels and went back out. David turned and looked at me. When he saw my surprised reaction, he just smiled and shrugged.

“Son of a bitch,” I said under my breath. I was all excited to get out early and now the bar was full of several large men and what felt like a sea of men and women following them like lost puppies.  I smacked my hand on the wall. “Shit, I forgot that stupid wrestling show was in town tonight. You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Look Lana, I know you hate when they’re in town, but they do always tip extremely well. I kind of look forward to it myself.”

“Ugh, maybe so, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that they’re loud, annoying, and they act like they own this place. I can’t stand people like that.”

“Well, they’re here now and we’re open, so get behind here and start getting some beers and shots together. You know by now what they like.”

I did know what to do in this situation. I’d been tending bar here for about three years and a few times a year, these wrestlers would blow into town for a local show and after, they would come and take over this place. That wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose, but they always dragged in a bunch of fans that followed them over. I guess it made them feel good to have so many people acting excited to be around them. It may have only happened a few times a year, but it was always such a stressful time for me, that I had ingrained the standard operating procedure of it all into my brain so that I didn’t have to think much when it did happen.

I looked out at the large men sitting at all the tables and most of them were faces I remembered, however there were three men at a table in the back, surrounded by women, whom I had never seen before.

I motioned to David. “Go ask those guys over there what they want while I start filling up some pints. I don’t recognize them and I don’t want one of them trying to mess with me because I got them the wrong beer or something.”

“You are so judgmental! They seem like cool guys, I mean look at all those girls around them!”

“Uh-huh. So having a gaggle of women hanging off of you means you’re cool? To me, it means you’re a douchebag.”

“Mmhmm. I’ll go take their order, Your Honor.”

"Bite me.” I playfully pushed on his back as he walked away.

I stood filling up the pints and watching David interact with the guys. He was smiling and laughing while he wrote down their orders. He was definitely having a better time than I. I didn’t quite realize that I had been staring at them until David turned around and pointed at me. I woke out of my haze with a start and David and the three guys waved at me. I rolled my eyes and made a disgruntled noise under my breath, then turned my attention back to the beer.

“You know, David has a point, El.” I looked up to see Larry watching me. “You’re a beautiful young woman and it pains an old man like me to see that be wasted.”

I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. “Well thank you Larry, I’m flattered. I always liked to think that I was strong and something like a break up wouldn’t affect me, but the shock of going from thinking things were fine and that we were happy , to having nothing without a chance to fix the problem really did a number on my confidence and even my personality. David’s right, I am much more judgmental than I used to be. I’ve become a bitter old woman at the age of twenty-eight. I think that has put off most guys, since no one has really looked at me since then. That hurts and I’m afraid of being rejected, so I just don’t try.”

“Well, I won’t reject you, sweetheart,” he said while he winked.

"Ah, I would Larry, but you know, I’m just not into divorced guys in their fifties who sit at bars all night.”

"Well, other than the age difference, we have two things in common there.”

I hung my head in defeat and sighed. “You do have a point.”

“How about flirting with some of these guys here? They all seem like handsome strapping lads.”

“Ugh, no. Not if my life depended on it. They’d probably act like I should be grateful because they’re on TV or something.”

"Whatever you say, Your Honor.”

“No, not you, too!” I loaded up the beers onto some trays and carried them to the tables. David was still talking to the three men in the back. After I had emptied the trays, I joined up with him.

“Hey dude, did you ever take their damn order? Let’s hurry it up here!”

I grabbed the pad of paper from his hand and turned to walk away. David grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around so I was face to face with the guys at the table. All three were very good looking guys. There were about 10 girls hanging all over them, giggling and making me feel like I wanted to punch them in the face. The guy with sandy blonde hair even had a girl sitting in his lap. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

“These guys are hilarious, Lana. Be nice and say hi!” David seemed way too enthusiastic for this late at night.

“I’m working right now, David, unlike you,” I said as I kicked him in the shin and walked back to the bar with their orders.

I fixed their drinks and David came to bring them over. “Hey, it’s almost time for closing, but I was thinking maybe we could keep the bar open an extra hour?”

“Come on, man! You got me all excited earlier that I could go home early! And I thought you wanted to get to bed!”

“Eh, I got a second wind and I’m having a good time. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they tip you really well since you are doing all the work.”

“Yeah, I’d better get a good tip!” I yelled at him as he took the drinks back to the boys.

Throughout the next hour, I continued to refill beers and shots as my head was filled with the raucous laughter that echoed through the bar. Finally it neared 1:45 am and I announced last call. I was received with a chorus of boos.

“Ahh, shut up and go back to your hotels, and you groupies, go make better decisions!”

David came up to me and said he’d handle any last drinks for me while I went into the back to start loading glasses into the dishwasher. I knew it was going to be a long night now that the bar was dirty again. At a little past 2, David came into the back.

“Hey Lana, I cleared them all out, so we’re good. Some of the guys asked me to go hang out with them and have a beer back at their hotel. How upset would you be if I went with them and left you here to clean up by yourself?”

“Eh, I’ve been up this late; I might as well stay up. Yeah, yeah, go have your fun, man. You’re in early tomorrow right? So if I don’t quite finish all of this you can clean up a bit before we open?”

“Yeah, it’s a deal. I’d rather that than to walk in and find you passed out on the floor from exhaustion. Thanks a lot! Have a good night!”

“Yeah, you too, jerk. Now get out of here.” I threw one of the cleaning towels at him as he slipped back through the door.

I grabbed the cleaning supplies and headed back out into the bar. I had been cleaning for about ten minutes when I heard the front door open. Dammit, David, you forgot to lock up before you left!

“I’m sorry, we’re closed. Please come back tomorrow,” I said as I finished cleaning up a table. “Stupid drunken idiots…” I muttered. I turned around to see who the asshole that was making my night worse was and I was greeted by the tall figure of the sandy blonde haired man from earlier. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans and he was slowly walking towards me, his eyes wandering around the bar like he was seeing it for the first time. I crossed my arms and greeted him.

“Uh…hi? We’re closed now. Can I help you? Are you drunk and got lost from your friends already? Do I need to call you a cab?”

As I spoke, he lowered his head and his gaze met mine. For a few seconds we stood there, staring in silence. I noticed his green eyes and my heart raced a bit. They were the same color as my ex-husband. I could feel myself filling with rage. After the extended night I’d been having, the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of the man who crushed my spirit without lifting a finger. I suppose it wasn’t this guy’s fault, it was just the way genetics had worked, but at this point, I didn’t really care. Finally after what had felt like an eternity, he spoke.

“Nah, not drunk and not lost. I realized I’d left my phone here. Would you mind if I looked for it?”

“Yeah sure, fine. Just leave as soon as you find it. I’m going to lock the door since my dumbass co-worker forgot to do it when he left.” I took my set of keys out of my pocket and went to lock up. When I turned back around, he was poking around my cleaning supplies. “Dude, what are you doing? Find your stupid phone and leave.”

“I am. I was looking for it over here.”

“I’ve been cleaning over in that area and didn’t find anything, so you’re wasting both your and my time.  Also you weren’t even sitting over there!” I mumbled “idiot” under my breath and went back to cleaning.

After a moment passed, he announced that he had found it and I heard him walk away. Finally I could be left in peace to finish cleaning and get back home and into bed. However, instead of hearing the front door open and close, I heard the door of the small fridge behind the bar open and close. When I turned around, I saw that this weird man had two bottles of beer in his hands.

“Hey jackass, what the hell do you think you’re doing? I thought you were going to leave!”

“I never said that. You did. And I won’t tell if you won’t.” He winked at me and held out a bottle towards me. Now he was starting to really piss me off.

“I have shit to do, guy. I just want to finish cleaning and go home.”

He took the top off the bottle and took a sip. “That’s fine, more for me. You can call me Dean Ambrose instead of ‘guy’. That’s what I’ve been going by lately. So where’s home?”

I picked up the cleaning cloth and moved over to the bar. I attempted to grab at the beer bottle he was drinking, but he lifted it above his head so I couldn’t quite reach. I had always been a taller person and reaching things was never a problem, so having him mess with me and make me feel small continued to fuel my hatred. I smacked the bar with my hand, grabbed the cloth and started wiping.

“Sooo…where’s home?” he repeated.

“It’s none of your business, and why would you even be asking in the first place?”

“Small talk. To keep you company.”

“I don’t want anyone to keep me company, why can’t you get that through your thick head?” I paused a moment and the only sounds in the bar was of him taking another swig from the bottle and the clock. “I live upstairs, and the longer you distract me, the longer it’ll take me to get up there, so can you please just go back to your hotel?”

“You know, you’re awfully angry. You should mellow out. You’d look prettier if you didn’t scowl so much.” I clenched my fist. My lack of confidence on my appearance was already a huge bruise on my ego and he just dug his thumbnail into it. He leapt up on top of the bar and sat down.

“Excuse me? I just fucking wiped that down.”

“Don’t worry, I’m clean. I took a shower before I left the stadium. I do know how to get dirty, though.” He smirked as he stared out into the room.

I made a noise expressing my disgust. “What is your problem, dude?”

“I like fucking with people. Especially chicks. It’s kind of a hobby.”

“Well you had a lot of chicks on you earlier, why don’t you leave me alone and go fuck with them?”

“Nah, too easy. I get bored. I like a little bit of a challenge.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that. It certainly wasn’t a challenge messing with me because I was already tired and a bit cranky when he came in and he barely had to say anything to get my blood boiling. I moved back to the tables and cleaned in silence for a while as he finished his beer and opened up the other one. I looked over at the clock and it was almost 3am. I groaned out loud.

“So I told you my name…what’s yours?” I could feel his eyes staring a hole into the back of my head.

“That wasn’t even your real name. I know how that wrestling stuff works.”

“Just humor me.”

“Lana. My name is Lana.”

“Hmm…Laaaanaaaaa…” he said in a slow, almost moaning voice. I bit down on my lip without thinking. The sound of his voice as he said my name had set something off in me. “Sounds like a stripper name,” he said suddenly. I looked over my shoulder and shot him a dirty look.

“My mom was really into old movies, so she named me after Lana Turner, the actress. So, you know, not a stripper, thank you very much.”

“You said you ‘know how that wrestling stuff works’. You’re a fan?” He took another sip of beer.

“I used to be. I used to watch it with my parents when I was a kid. I even watched all through my early high school years, but once I started to date boys and stuff, I got wrapped up in girlie bullshit and watching wrestling fell to the wayside. I haven’t seen it in years.”

“Why don’t you start again? You don’t seem very girlie and feminine now.”

I clenched my fist and tried hard to resist telling him to shut the fuck up. “Not interested. My job consists of being around obnoxious drunken idiots, why would I want to spend my free time watching drunken idiots on TV watch oiled up half naked men pretend to fight?” I paused for a moment. Honestly, it didn’t sound so bad when I said it aloud.

“Well, there’s a show tonight about two hours from here. You should go. You can watch me be fucking awesome.”

I sighed deeply. “I can’t stand you right now, what makes you think that I’d want to spend my day off driving and wasting money on something just so I can be miserable looking at you again?”

“Fuck, why are you so pissed off? You get in a fight with your boyfriend of something?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.  I’m divorced. I have been for over half a year.”

“Why haven’t you dated since then?”

I smacked my hand on the table I was cleaning. “I don’t want to date right now, so I haven’t! What’s with people asking me this all the time? Why do people care if I don’t have a sex life? Jesus Christ!”

“Ah, well that explains it then.”

I slowly turned around to face him. I gritted my teeth. “What explains what?” I asked coldly, knowing where he was going.

“You’re so angry because you haven’t been laid in a while,” he answered as he finished the second beer.

My frustration had boiled over. Like a child, I grabbed a saturated sponge from the cleaning bucket, turned around, and hurled it at him. The wet sponge landed on his chest, soaking his t-shirt. I smiled that I had hit my target.

“Aww, poor muffin! You’re all wet now, so I guess you’re going to have to leave so you can get into some dry clothes. Okay, bye now!”

I sarcastically waved at him, assuming that he would finally leave. He looked at me and shrugged. He then grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it up above his chest. My knees buckled slightly as his muscular torso came into my sight. He then pinched the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. While he wasn’t looking, I smacked myself on the cheek to bring me back to reality. This guy was annoying and had entered the bar after business hours, so he was trespassing on the property. It didn’t matter than he looked like some gorgeous incubus come from hell to devour my soul. The smack clearly didn’t work, so I dug my fingernails into my hand, grimacing as I did.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I cleared my throat and quickly glanced at him before looking away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

There was a short awkward silence and I could sense that he was staring at me. It did not help my nerves.

“Aww, are you shy all of the sudden?” he asked. “You can look if you want, I won’t bite.  Even if you wanted me to.”

 I turned my head to face him again, my face glowing red. “Ass…” I said under my breath.

He nodded. “I have one. I’ve been told it’s pretty cute.”

I rolled my eyes yet again. “Well has anyone told you that you’re a huge dick?”

“Yeah, I have one of those too. You wanna see it? You show me yours, I’ll show you mine?”

“Look Dino Abrasive or whatever your name was, don’t…” I quickly turned around to yell at him for the umpteenth time when I was stopped in my tracks. It was the first time since he took his shirt off that I got a good look at him. He was leaning on the bar, laughing and smiling at me with his head cocked to one side, looking at me with those damn gorgeous green eyes. As angry as I was, his smile was infectious and at that brief moment, I couldn’t stop myself from admiring it. His jeans were being held just barely against his hips by his belt. Butterflies burst out of my stomach and I could feel my face burning. A sexy man in jeans with no shirt on was a personal visual preference that I had not been treated to in a while. “…fuck,” I whispered. He pounced on my hesitation.

“You were saying something?” He leaned his ear forward, mocking me, still smiling all the while.

I was done. I gathered up the cleaning supplies and stormed off towards the supply closet. David would just have to finish for me in the morning and I’d beg for his forgiveness by bringing him a coffee or something. I wasn’t getting any work done and I was too tired and too frustrated to continue with this insanity. When I shut the door and turned around, I came face to face with his tall frame. He took a step closer to me so that I was pressed against the door.

“You’re, uh, awfully close,” I stammered. I could feel my whole body burning. It had been a long time since I had felt this way and it was very uncomfortable.

“Do you not like it? I mean, you’ve been giving me signs all night.”

“What? I’ve been yelling at you for an hour to leave me alone! I haven’t been giving you signs of anything!” I shifted my eyes back and forth. I couldn’t handle looking him straight in the eyes right now.

“You think you’ve been angry and yelling at me, but anger and lust are pretty similar feelings if you think about it and you’ve been flirting with me this whole time. There was definitely playfulness to that anger.  Think about it, if you were really concerned about my being here, you could’ve called your co-worker or even the cops to take me away when I first showed up. But you didn’t. I’d say that’s a pretty big sign.”

I tried sliding to the left so that I could get away from him, but as I did, he grabbed one of my wrists and pinned it to the wall above my head. He then leaned his face in close to mine.

“Dude, you’re getting seriously rapey right now.” My eyes stared at his mouth merely inches away from mine.

“Look, if you really want me to stop, you can point blank tell me to stop. I will put my hands above my head and walk away. I’ll leave the building. You can go upstairs and sleep away this night. Is that what you really want?”

I hesitated to respond. I looked up into his eyes for a second and then quickly looked away. I was too embarrassed.  It had been so long since I was this intimately close to a man, let alone a man as attractive as he was. I felt paralyzed by him, but I kind of liked it. My body tried to tell my brain that it no longer wanted me to resist this.

“You’ve been acting like you weren’t interested all night, but I think you’re lying to me.”

He pressed up against me, pushing me harder into the wall. I could feel his hips against mine. Even though he was wearing jeans, I could feel how hard he was. He was ready to go at a moment’s notice. I tried to hold back, but a faint whimper escaped my lips as I shut my eyes to try to ignore his gaze.

“What was that? Well now I know you’ve been lying to me.” He lowered his head down so that his mouth was right by my ear. His breath was warm while he whispered. “I want to fuck you right now, and I’m 99% sure that you want me to. But before I can, I want you to tell me that you want it.”

My eyes burst open. This was utter torture. He was making me beg and I could feel my anger rising again. I was torn between my pride and the warmth of his body against mine. Pride lost.

“I want you…” I mumbled quietly, my eyes looking down to the right.

He pulled away from me and leaned down slightly so that he could catch my averted glance. He cocked his head to the side. “Hmm? Did you say something?”

I looked him directly in the eyes and every emotion I had built up from that evening came pouring out of my mouth. “I want you to fuck me, you son of a bitch!”

A sly grin crept over his face. “My pleasure.”

He pressed himself up against me again and tightened his grip on my wrist. He lowered his head closer to mine and began to softly kiss my neck. I immediately let out a soft moan. My body was hyper sensitive to the intimate touch of another person. I could hear him quietly laugh to himself as I continued to make noise. Something as simple as necking was getting this much of a reaction out of me.

He lightly thrust his hips into me. I used my other hand to grab onto his shoulder, feeling his muscular frame shifting as he tilted his head up slightly and bit my ear. I then slid my hand all the way down his arm to his hand. Clasping the back of his hand in mine, I guided it towards my breast.

He let out a sly laugh. “I like that you know what you want.” He massaged my breast with his one hand for a moment before he groaned with frustration. “Let’s get that damn bra off of you.” He let go of my wrist and slid both of his hands up the back of my shirt. He easily unhooked my bra and pulled it out from under my shirt.

“You seem quite skilled at that,” I said smiling.

He pressed his forehead against mine. “You’ll find out that I’m skilled at a lot of things.” He kissed me hard on the lips and slid one of his hands back up my shirt. His fingers groped my breast and I giggled whenever he grazed my nipple. “You think that’s funny, huh?” He took my nipple between his fingers and pinched it hard. I let out a squeal.  He kissed my neck again and then pulled back.

He grabbed one of the chairs and sat down, slouching slightly. “Take your pants off,” he said, flashing a smile that made it very hard to say no. I first took off my socks and sneakers and threw them against the wall. Then I started messing with my button and zipper when he stopped me. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m taking my pants off! That’s what you told me to do, asshole!”

“Yeah, but you’re going to make it boring like that? Put some effort into it!”

I blushed and looked at the ground. I couldn’t believe he was asking me to do something embarrassing like this. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. With my eyes still closed, I began to sway my hips back and forth as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. I ran my thumbs under the top hem, pulling it down just enough so that my panties showed. I then ran my hands up my body to my face. I was starting to feel confident and sexy. I bit one of my fingertips and opened my eyes. He was staring at me, smiling, with his thumb rubbing his bottom lip. I suddenly felt like a prey animal being watched by a hungry wolf.

I quickly turned around as my embarrassment flooded back. I sighed and closed my eyes again, as that seemed to help me feel less silly for some reason. I hooked my thumbs back into my jeans and slowly pulled them down, bending over as they went down my leg. I stepped out of them and then slowly stood back up, arching my back and sticking my ass out like some chick in a rap video. Once I was completely upright, I glanced over my shoulder and winked at him.

“Very nice,” he said approvingly. “Now get over here.” He beckoned me with his hand. I crawled up onto his lap so that I was facing him and my shins were on his thighs. I placed my hands on his shoulders to balance myself. He grazed his fingers along my bare legs, making me shudder.

“You know, I’m glad that your body is more attractive than your personality,” he said. I dug my fingernails into his shoulders in retaliation and he hissed back at me.

“You should know better not to insult a chick when she’s half naked on your lap.”

I leaned in and kissed his cheek, moving down his face to his neck. He tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck so I had better access to it. He made a delighted noise.

“I really do like your ass though.” His hands moved up my legs. One hand cupped my ass and the other crept up under my panties. I was startled by his hand so close to my lady bits. Lady bits that I had boarded up and closed for business for months, but he was easily opening them back up. Maybe I hadn’t put up as strong a defense as I thought.

I bit him on the neck in response to his wandering hand. He moaned ever so softly and his fingers moved closer to my pussy. I squeezed his strong shoulders as his fingers slipped easily between my lips. He chuckled to himself. I pulled back and looked at him, my face wondering what was so funny.

He clicked his tongue and looked at me with an impish grin. “Naughty, naughty girl. You’re soaking wet. You were excited to see me the moment I walked back in here, weren’t you?” He took his hand out of my panties and brought it to his mouth. He put his fingers in his mouth and sucked off my fluids.

My eyes widened. “You’re a goddamn tease. I want you so bad right now, so just fuck me already,” I moaned. I hated begging, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Not quite yet,” he said in a slightly mocking tone. He put his other hand under my ass again and scooped me up into his arms. He stood up, walked over to the bar, and sat me down on it. “Lift up your hips.” I did as he asked and he grabbed my panties and slid them off of me. The bar top felt cold on my skin when I sat back down.  He propped my feet up on two stools so that my legs were spread and I was vulnerable to whatever he wanted to do to me.

He started his fingers at my feet and teasingly traced up my calves, past my knees, and up onto my thighs. He then grabbed the edge of the bar on either side of my leg. He lowered his mouth to my leg and brushed his soft lips against my inner thigh. I breathed in slowly and deeply to try to contain myself. I was very glad that I had bothered to shave that morning.

He began to kiss up my inner thigh until he was about to reach my lips when he stopped short and began to do the same to the other thigh. When he arrived at the top of my leg again, he gently kissed my pussy and then quickly flicked out his tongue. I let out a moan as I felt the warmth of his mouth. My former husband had only gone down on me on a few occasions, so this was a pleasant surprise.

His tongue slowly traced the outside of my pussy, occasionally touching my clit, causing me to let out a noise when it did. He began to make circles around my clit and my body tensed up at the strong sensation. I grabbed the back edge of the bar with my left hand and squeezed it tightly, digging my nails into the wood. My other hand found the top of his head. His hair felt soft and shaggy as I ran my fingers through it. He continued working his magic while my moans gradually became louder. He sped up slightly as my volume rose. Suddenly my body seized and I gasped as I came, a warm tingling sensation flooding through my body to my toes and fingers.

He pulled away and smiled up at me while he wiped his mouth on his forearm. My body twitched a few more times as I came down from my physical high. I began to calm my breathing. He stood up straight and brought his lips to my ear.

“You sound a lot nicer when you’re cumming.” I pushed his head to the side with my own as I couldn’t quite speak yet.

I began to fumble with his belt, trying to unhook it so that I could reach what I was craving most. He grabbed my wrists and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Just stay like that for a second.” He unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out. I sat staring down at it, dumbfounded. Right then, I was so happy that I had stayed on the pill after the divorce. He scooped me back up, my legs wrapped around his waist, and he walked over and pressed me back up against the wall. He lowered my body down so that I was at the right height, lined himself up, and slowly slid into my wet pussy. A groan escaped his lips as he filled me and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

He pulled out slightly and thrust back in, slowly gained his rhythm. I ran my fingers up and down his back, my fingernails lightly scratching and clawing as he picked up momentum. He felt so good, every inch of him pressing deep inside of me. Both us were moaning loud enough so that I could no longer hear the bar clock ticking. I thought to myself that work would be much more enjoyable if it ended this way every night. I felt the same warm feeling begin to build between my legs as I came again, burying my face in his neck and clawing hard into his strong back.

He pulled out and set me down on the ground. His hard cock was shining with my fluids, the sight of which made me blush. Despite the fact that he had just made me orgasm twice, looking at the physical result of that was slightly embarrassing. He walked over to the bar and picked up his t-shirt. I looked at him, confused.

“You said your apartment is upstairs?” I nodded. He raised an eyebrow as me, mischievously. “You wanna go to bed?”

I grabbed my pieces of discarded clothing and my purse from the back and showed him the way upstairs to the main elevator for the apartment complex.  Once we were in the elevator, I hit the button for my floor and turned back to him. He hadn’t zipped his jeans back up, he had only sort of stuffed himself back in, so I decided I’d take advantage of it.

I stood in front of him, grinned, and dropped to my knees. Pulling him back out, I noticed he had begun to get a bit soft during the wait. I ran my tongue along the bottom of his member before I sucked it into my mouth. I felt him begin to harden up again in my mouth as he moaned and stroked my hair. After a brief moment, the elevator reached my floor. I took my mouth off and looked up at him, grinning. He helped me back up to my feet and gathered my things.

“I can’t wait to fuck you properly once we get inside your room,” he whispered in my ear. I quickly grabbed my keys as we walked down the hall and unlocked the door. Once inside, I dropped my things on the floor, grabbed him by the belt, and pressed my open mouth against his, the tip of my tongue lightly touching his. After my moment in the elevator, most of my inhibitions had dissolved.

The room was dark, but the streetlights filled it with enough light so that I could still see him. I hurriedly took my pants back off and kicked my shoes behind me. He began to unbuckle his belt before I stopped him.

“Hey, I tried to do that twice tonight and you stopped me both times. That is MY prize to open.” I stood in front of him, undoing his belt and pulled it from out of the loops. I tilted my head back slightly so I could look into his eyes as I unbuttoned his jeans and slid them and his boxers off his body with one movement. I stood back and took in the sight of him fully naked. I bit my finger and made a soft moan of approval. I don’t know what I did to deserve this beautiful male specimen standing in my room.

I pulled my shirt up over my head and tossed it at him. I jumped onto my bed, sat up on my knees and beckoned towards him to join me. He smirked and stuck out his tongue.

He crawled up onto the bed and moved in close to me. He gently pushed me down onto the bed and slid his body along mine. He used his hands to spread my legs and I couldn’t help but giggle. The tip of his cock rubbed lightly along my lips before he pushed it inside. Our faces were up close to each other’s ears so we could listen to one another’s moans and he began to thrust in and out. I tried to angle my hips in such a way where I could thrust up along with him. I pulled at my bed sheets as he hit every right spot. He apparently wasn’t just being cocky when he told me earlier that I’d see just how skillful he could be.

He sat upright while continuing to thrust at a slower pace and moved my legs up onto his shoulders.  The change in position led to a stronger sensation for me and I arched my back in response. He raked his nails along my thighs, making my legs twitch. My moans grew louder, so I pulled my pillow from under my head and used it to muffle my voice. It was very late and I didn’t feel like dealing with cranky neighbors in a few hours. He took the pillow off of my face and threw it off the bed. He dropped my legs off of his shoulders and pressed his body back on mine. The tempo of his thrusting began to increase. His hot breath was heavy on my neck, he whispered, “Fuck your neighbors; I want to hear how much you love this.”

I grunted and whispered back, “You feel so good…” My voice trailed off. I had forgotten the name he had given me earlier that night.

“You can call me Jon,” he said quietly. “I want to hear you moan my name.”

“You make me feel so good, Jon…”

He slowly kissed down my neck towards my breasts. He slid his hands under my back and lifted me up into his arms. At that moment I almost felt like crying. Not because of him specifically, not because my body was feeling things it hadn’t felt in a long time, but because I realized at that moment how much I had missed the intimacy of being close to another person.

He interrupted my moment of peace by abruptly pulling out and flipping me over onto my stomach. He lifted my up by the waist so that I was now on my hands and knees. He grabbed my hips and rammed his cock into my pussy. My eyes widened and I gasped loudly as how hard and quickly he was thrusting. It was almost as if he let out his animalistic side while I was feeling romantic. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled back on them. My moans were getting to the point where they were almost loud enough to sound like I was yelling.

He took one hand off of a shoulder and grabbed my hair, pulling my head back with just enough force so that he was controlling me, but not hurting me. This made me feel so dirty and slutty that it brought me over the edge. Every muscle in my body tensed and I came hard around his cock. His thrusts became harder and slightly faster for a few moments before he finally shot inside of me.

He let go of my hair and shoulders, pulled out, and slapped me on the side of my ass. I collapsed onto the bed and rolled to one side. I could feel sleep quickly starting to overtake me. I pulled a sheet up over me and curled into a ball on my side. He stood up and walked over to his clothes, putting his jeans back on and tossing his t-shirt over his shoulder.  He came back over to my bed and sat down next to me, his back propped up against the headboard. He reached into his pocket and revealed a pack of cigarettes. He took one out, lit it up, and took a long drag.

“You smoke?” I asked.

He nodded. “I know I shouldn’t, but I at least have to have one after I’ve fucked a girl real good.” He looked down at me with his eyes slightly widened. “I mean, I can put it out if you want. From where I was, you seemed to be enjoying it, but I don’t know.”

I squirmed underneath the sheet. I could feel my face beginning to flush again. “No, you can keep it lit.” I opened my mouth up wide and let out a huge yawn. “Just…make sure you put it out…before you leave…” I barely got out my final sentence before I was out.

* * *

 I woke up several hours later to an empty bed. I knew that’s what would happen since he had work to do and he probably shouldn’t have been out that late anyway, but it still hurt a little bit. For so many years, I had always had someone next to me in the morning. After all these months, I had gotten used to waking up alone, but being with him that night had thrown me off.

I got up and gathered my dirty clothes that were still strewn across the floor. I tossed them in my hamper as I walked over to the drawer to put on some clean clothes. On top of the drawer was a hastily written note.

_Come to the show tonight and give it another shot. You might be surprised. Plus, you can see what else I’m very skilled at._

A smirk slowly crept onto my face and I quietly laughed to myself. “Asshole.”


	2. Crime and Punishment

It was slightly after noon when I had finally left the apartment. Carrying a tray of large coffees from our favorite shop, I walked into the bar and was greeted by a still sleepy David leaning against the bar.

“Is that an angel coming to bring me caffeine? I thought coffee angels were just legends!”

I chuckled and smiled as I handed him his cup and pulled myself up onto a stool across from him.

“I still don’t know why we open this early. We rarely have anyone in here this early and when we do…day drinkers just weird me out,” he declared.

“Well I’m glad that there’s no one in here but me to hear you say that. You don’t want any angry day drunks coming after you.” I took a small sip of my coffee. “So how was the rest of your night?”

His eyes widened slightly. “Those guys, they never sleep. Ever.” His body gently shuddered. “Ever. You know me, I love my sleep. I had a great time, though. They told me a bunch of road stories. Seriously, El, you need to stop judging people by the way they look or talk. I’m telling you, they were nice guys, and really funny, too! I bet you would’ve loved them!”

"You’re right. I should’ve given them a chance,” I replied quietly, staring at my fingernail digging into the side of my cup. I could feel David’s eyes boring a hole through my skull. There was a moment of awkward silence before I looked up at him. “Yes?”

“What happened to you last night?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” My eyes returned to the coffee cup.

“You’re down here in the bar bringing me coffee minutes after we open. You’re smiling, which is rare for you nowadays, and the biggest what the fuck of all, you just admitted to being wrong about judging people. So what the hell happened between last night and right now!?”

I could feel my face starting to feel flushed. The sensation in my cheeks made all of the thoughts from the previous night race through my head. I started to feel slightly dizzy, so I shook my head to right myself. “Nothing…” I took a sip of coffee, my eyes looking up and to the left in an obviously lying fashion.

David continued to stare at me in silence for about a minute, studying my face, trying to come up with an explanation for my apparently shockingly positive demeanor. He suddenly smacked his hand on the bar, his eyes wide, and a big foolish grin on his face.

“You fucking got laid! Finally! The reign of terror is over!” He leaned across the bar, grabbed my face with both hands, and planted a kiss on my lips. I almost slipped off of the stool in surprise. “Free drinks for everyone!”

“There’s no one in here, but us, you idiot,” I laughed.

“Exactly,” he answered, winking. “Now tell me how did this happen? You were alone in the bar after I left. Did you get drunk and booty call someone?”

"A lady never tells, you pervert.” I winked back at him and stood up to leave.

“That’s a moot point because you’re not a lady.” I flipped him off behind my head and left.

* * *

 

I rubbed my sore eyes as I looked away from my laptop screen for a moment. For the past hour, I had been staring at the information for the show that night and arguing back and forth in my head about whether  I should go or not. The show was about two hours away and the only tickets left were in the nosebleed sections. I suppose it didn’t really matter where I was sitting. This was just a chance for me to see if wrestling would interest me again after all these years. Worst case scenario, it would get me away from my apartment for a while, which is something I really needed. Best case, I would rekindle an old passion and maybe if I was lucky, I’d see Jon again.

This last thought was stuck in my head like an obnoxiously catchy song. It was a lofty idea, but I couldn’t shake it off. What did I really expect to happen? That I would show up and he would greet me with flowers? He doesn’t know or probably actually care whether I go or not, and even if he did, why should he? I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. We are two strangers who shared a fleeting moment of carnal lust before we went in separate directions. I’m not going to be naïve about it. We aren’t magically a couple now. He probably doesn’t even remember my name anymore, and that’s fine. It was sex, nothing more. Wonderful, dirty sex that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

I sighed and closed my laptop. I was going to do it. I would go. I already had the night off from work, so what could it hurt? I checked the time on my phone. I had enough time to stop downstairs and chat with David for a bit before I had to leave.

The bar had a decent amount of people inside grabbing a beer after work. I slid up to the bar and took a seat next to Larry.

“Lana, my dear, you look fantastic today! I really enjoy seeing you with a spring in your step,” he complimented.

“Aww, thanks Larry, you big old softy.”

He stared straight ahead and brought his pint up to his lips. “And if I wasn’t mistaken, there was a little wiggle in your hips, as well?”

“I take it back, Larry. You’re just a big old perv.” I punched him in the arm as we both laughed together. I definitely felt the difference in my attitude. I felt happier than I had in months. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, maybe a big part of my problem really was the fact that I just hadn’t had sex in a long time. It sounded so cliché, but I suppose the concept of sexual frustration leaking out as general frustration and bitterness isn’t so farfetched.

David suddenly noticed me sitting there, as he had been busy mixing some drinks for the other customers when I first came in. “Hey girl, it’s your night off and you just can’t stay away from here, can you? I figured you’d already be in your PJs and curled up in bed with some ice cream and whatever TV show you’re currently into.”

“Fuck you too, sweetie,” I said while smiling playfully at him. “No, I’m actually going out tonight, for the first time in I can’t remember when.”

“Really? Where are you headed?” asked Larry.

“There’s this wrestling show a few hours away. I used to watch it with my parents when I was a little girl. I figured I’d go see the show, just for fun. I had some time to kill before hitting the road, so I decided to hang out down here for a bit.”

David had been watching me closely as I spoke. “That seems awfully spontaneous of you. I’ve known you for a while and you are a lot of things, but spontaneous is not one of them, even before the divorce. There’s something more to this, isn’t there? This has something to do with what you did last night.”

My eyes wandered slightly up and to the left. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His eyes lit up and he leaned in close to me and whispered, “Did you fuck one of those wrestler guys last night?” My eyes briefly met his and with that look, he had his confirmation. He slammed both of his hands down onto the bar. “YES!” He threw his hands into the air triumphantly like he just won some imaginary game he was playing. His sudden erratic behavior drew the attention of the entire bar for a brief moment.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m just really happy for you. By any chance was it the one with shaggy dark blonde hair?”

I eyed him suspiciously. “How do you know that?”

He smiled back at me, mischievously. “I did a little bit of meddling.”

My eyes darkened slightly. This conversation was starting to make me feel very uncomfortable. “What did you do, Dave?”

“Well, as much as I’ve tried to convince you to get back out there, you continue to stay shut in your apartment by yourself when you’re not here at work. That’s fine every once in a while, but day after day for months? I was seriously getting concerned. So I decided to play wingman for you. While I was talking to those three guys last night, they noticed how fucking miserable you looked. With everyone else around having a good time, you did stick out. I mean, you weren’t trying to hide it or anything, but they brought it up, so I explained it to them.”

I stared at him, stone faced, unblinking. “Explained what, Dave?”

“I told them about how you went through a weird divorce, but that it’s been over half a year since then and you haven’t dated or had sex since then, and that my theory for your constant irritated mood was that you were pretty hard up. So I half-jokingly through out there that I wish one of them would help you out, and that if they did, I’d pay for their tab. Two of them just laughed and said they were in relationships, but the blonde one said that he liked a challenge and he’d do it. I assumed he was just trying to get the free beer. I guess he actually went through with it and was able to pierce through your armor, and in more ways than one.” He was still smiling as he finished his story. It seemed that he didn’t find any of this to be an extreme breach of privacy, but I disagreed.

“Fuck you, Dave.” I stood up and stormed out of the bar.

My head was flooded with a burning rage and I felt so lost at that moment. Going to the show was out of the question at this point. All I wanted to do was stay in my apartment, like I always did, and drink away everything from the past two days.

* * *

 

I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 2:17 am. Really? Have I been sitting here on the bed for that long? I must’ve fallen into some trance-like state or maybe fallen asleep with my eyes open at some point. All I remember was storming upstairs, nearly kicking down my door in anger, and drinking all of the alcohol in the apartment.

It wasn’t a lot of alcohol, really. It was just the remainders of several bottles that had been lingering around since the day after I was abandoned. The day after I lost faith in people. The day after I decided to not trust again. Well that had turned out to be a huge pile of horse shit, didn’t it? I had allowed myself to trust David and now I just felt betrayed and alone again. Then again, maybe it was just that I had already trusted him from before the divorce and I hadn’t wanted to sever that bond. I wanted to cling to it in the hope that it would help me feel normal again.

I sighed deeply. The cool air filling my lungs felt wonderful; like it was the first time I had taken a deep breath in ages. I had mostly come down from my tipsy high, but I was still feeling a bit fuzzy in the head. I fell back onto my bed and threw my arm over my eyes.

I awoke with a start when my phone vibrated in my pocket. 2:26 am. Why is someone texting me this late? Better question, who is texting me this late? I pulled it out and let out a noise of disgust. It was from David.

_I know this won’t do much for you right now, but I am really sorry for what I did. It was not my place to interfere with your personal life. I hope you can forgive me._

I sighed again. I knew I would. He knew I would too, eventually. I knew that he meant well with what he did. I knew that seeing me irritable and depressed bothered him and he was just attempting a Hail Mary pass in order to help me move on. It was still a huge invasion of my privacy. I could feel my anger stirring slightly below the surface again.

The phone vibrated once more.

_Please also forgive me for what I just did right now._

I stared at the cryptic message, my slightly drunk brain unable to make any sense of what he could mean. “Idiot,” I mumbled before tossing my phone to the floor.

A moment later, there was a knock on my door. I groaned at the sound. I mustered up the drive to pull myself up out of bed and stumble to the door. I reluctantly opened it and there he stood, leaning in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his jeans. That damn green eyed incubus.

“Hey,” he quietly spoke.

“What the fuck are you doing here?’ I asked. There was absolutely no logical reason why he would be here, right now, standing in front of me.

“I don’t know. After the show was over, I had a lot time to kill before my flight home in the morning and I just felt compelled to come here. I just kind of follow my instincts, whether or not it makes sense.” He nodded towards the apartment. “Mind if I come inside?”

“Ugh, fine, just so we don’t wake any of my neighbors up.”

“I’m pretty sure we woke them up last night,” he softly mumbled.

I turned sharply and glared at him. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he laughed. He moved over to my bed and sat on the corner. “Man, you get awfully pissy late at night, don’t you?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “So…what the fuck do you want? I was trying to sleep and you show up here, interrupting it, after 2am? You’d better have a damn good reason, guy.”

He shrugged. “Dunno. I guess I kinda wanted to see you again before I left the area.”

“Really? You really think I’m going to buy into that shit? Did someone challenge you again? To see if I’d fall for this bullshit two nights in a row? Did David fucking put you up to this? Is this what that fucking text meant? Jesus Christ!” I punched my hand against the wall and felt my knuckles crack. I knew it would hurt like a bitch later, but right now the adrenalin built up by my outrage was protecting me from the pain.

His eyes narrowed. “So you know about that, huh? He caved and told you?”

“Caved? He literally cheered and then happily told me the whole thing, apparently thinking I would be fucking grateful. Grateful for what exactly? To be tricked into fucking a stranger? And an awfully date-rapey stranger at that!”

“Hey, you could’ve said no, but…” he started to say before I pointed at him and lowered my voice to just above a whisper.

“Don’t you fucking interrupt me, asshole.” I began to slowly step toward him. “I have been in a very vulnerable place mentally and emotionally for what has felt like an eternity. I had my life all figured out and was comfortable and happy before it was all pulled out from under me by my ex-husband with zero warning.”

“Look, I may have-“

I raised my voice back to its previous volume. “You’d have to be a fucking douchebag to play with someone like that. Are you a fucking douchebag, you stupid son of a bitch?” I was now standing directly in front of him. He slowly stood up from the bed and stretched to his full height. We stared each other down for a few seconds before he dropped his face down in front of mine. He spoke calmly and quietly.

“You’re fucking crazy, and it’s no wonder your husband left you.”

Before my brain could fully let his words stab into my chest, my hand pulled away from my body and smacked him across the face as hard as it could. His eyes turned cold at my action and I felt a small shiver travel up my spine. I saw his hand raise and contort into a fist for a brief moment before he changed his mind.

I pulled my hand back to hit him again, but before I could, he grabbed my wrist and spun me around so that my arm was behind my back. He pushed me hard to the floor. He pulled my other arm from under me so that both hands were now pinned behind my back. He balanced his weight on my lower back to hold me down. I struggled to try to find a way out from under him, but I was obviously outmatched. He lowered his body down onto my back so that his mouth was right next to my ear.

“Listen bitch, nobody hits me like that and gets away with it. Do you have a fucking death wish right now?” His breath was warm and heavy on my ear. “You got one lucky shot in, but you’re going to fucking pay for it.” He shifted so that only one of his arms was holding mine behind my back. I could hear him start to undo his belt and pull it out from the loops. I felt him wrap his belt around my wrists, tighten it with the buckle, and tuck in the extra. My eyes widened with a mix of fear and confusion. I was alone with this mad man who easily overpowered me and I couldn’t do anything about it. I wanted to scream, but for some reason, my body wouldn’t let me. I then felt him grab my hands and press his pelvis into my palms. His cock was hard and throbbing through his jeans. Oh dear god.

He rubbed my hands up and down his cock and all of the memories of the previous night raced through my brain. All I could think of at that second was how amazing he had made me feel and how much I craved to feel that way again. I could feel myself starting to get wet and my head fell to the floor in defeat.

He pulled me up onto my knees and crouched in front of me. “Take your shirt off.”

I scrunched my face into a grimace. “You’re a fucking asshole!” He laughed at me and drew his thumb over my lips.

“I think we should do something about that naughty mouth of yours. It just keeps getting you into fucking trouble, doesn’t it? Well if it doesn’t know how to keep itself closed…” His voice trailed off as he stood up, unbuttoned his jeans and let them slide down his body to the floor. I realized that he hadn’t worn any boxers as my eyes met the now familiar sight of his beautiful member. Had he planned for this ahead of time?

He grabbed my hair, tilted my head up, and gently rubbed the tip of his cock against my lips. I never would’ve thought that I would find something like this so unbelievably hot. I parted my lips slightly, hoping that he would slide himself inside of my mouth.

“Oh? What’s this? Has the dominant bitch who smacked me moments ago become the submissive little slut? Do you want this? Is that what you’re implying?”

I looked up at him, my eyes pleading ever so slightly. “Please don’t make me beg. I really hate begging.”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to make that request.” He began to slowly rub his cock along the side of my face. “Fine. I won’t make you beg for it. Instead, you’re going to admit to me that you’re a cock-hungry slut. I bet you can’t wait to taste me, can you?”

I squirmed a bit at the truth of his words. I took a moment to debate about whether I should let go of my pride and say it or not. Truthfully, if I told him no and that I didn’t want to play this game anymore, he would probably let me go. If he didn’t, I was always in prime position to headbutt him in the balls. I locked my eyes on his cock again and I felt the fibers of my resistance dissolve. Fuck, I wanted to taste him so badly.

“I’m a dirty cock-starved slut and I want you to shove your dick down my throat.”

He smiled a cocky grin and tightened the grip on my head. “I don’t remember saying that you could ad-lib. But I’m okay with it.” He pressed the tip to my lips and slowly pushed into my mouth. It felt excruciating as each inch slipped in, gently, carefully. His slow teasing was driving me mental. I tried saying “just shove it in already!” but it came out as a garbled mess.

Jon chuckled to himself. “What the fuck was that? Are you trying to speak? Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it was rude to talk with your mouth full?” He gave a sharp thrust with his hips as the rest of him filled my mouth. I gagged a bit and he eased back. He gently stroked the back of my head and started to slowly fuck my mouth. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of him. It was such a strange case that I found myself in this position again. If this was a second challenge from David, or even one of his friends, right now, I didn’t care. I’d probably loathe myself in the morning, but that wasn’t anything new.

I let out a deep moan that made my mouth vibrate around him. He began to thrust faster. I wanted to grab his ass with my hands and dig my nails into it. Whenever he finally freed my hands, he was so going to get it from me.  He dug his own nails into my scalp as he began to softly moan. He thrust deeply a few more times before he released down my throat. He held my head in place while he did so, which caused me to gag again. I thrashed about a bit and he let go of my head. I coughed and tried to regain my breath. I looked up at him, small drops of tears in the corner of my eyes from the gagging. He stared down at me, his breathing steady again, his eyes twisted like he was thinking of what to do next.

I felt that same sliver of fear creep up my spine again, staring into those eyes. A sick part of me wanted to know what was behind those eyes right now, like opening up Pandora’s Box.

He grabbed me under the arms and dragged me to my feet. He pressed his forehead against mine and locked eyes with me. “…what?” I tried asking. As soon as the word exited my mouth, he covered it with his own mouth. I was caught by surprise and he almost literally stole my breath from me. He pulled back and looked at me again. “What was that for?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I really don’t know. Like I said, I just follow my instincts. If something comes into my head, I do it.”

“So what do your instincts say to do now?”

He bit his index finger and thought for a moment. A smile crept onto his face and he started to take my pants off. When he had completely stripped my bottom half, he stopped and glared at my chest. I realized I was still wearing my shirt, but the only way to take it off would be to untie my hands.

Jon’s eyes lit up after a moment and he reached down into his pants and pulled out a switchblade. Yet again, that same fear appeared. He opened up the blade and ran the dull side along his tongue. I gritted my teeth. He looked so unbelievably sexy right then. “I never leave home without it,” he explained with a sly wink.

He placed the tip of the blade against the side of my neck and very lightly traced downward. I closed my eyes and shuddered at how ticklish it felt. The next thing I knew, he was behind me and running the blade through my sleeves and down the back of the shirt, cutting it off of me. I let out a noise of resistance, but there wasn’t really anything I could do.

Now I stood there completely naked, my nipples hardening from the cold against my skin. “Damn, you are a naughty girl, aren’t you? Not even wearing a bra?” He clicked his tongue, scolding me, while he ran a finger across my chest.

“I was drinking alone in my apartment. Do you really expect me to wear…“ He pressed a finger to my mouth, silencing me. He pulled his shirt off, tossed it in his hands, and smiled. With both of us standing there naked, I could feel my flesh starting to burn with nerves as the blood came to the surface. He paced around me once or twice before stopping behind me and wrapping his shirt around my head, covering my mouth. He tied it in the back and I let out an irritated, muffled scream.

He laughed cockily and grabbed a chair from my desk. “I have to say, I really like the sound of that.” He dragged the chair across the floor to me, took me by the shoulder and pushed me into a corner of the room. I fell onto my knees, my head lightly tapping the wall. He placed the chair on the floor right behind me and sat down. I shifted around so that I was facing him and I began to feel very claustrophobic.

He sat there staring at me, silent, serious. His feet were propped up against the two walls. My heart began to race at how calm he looked. It felt very odd. For as intense as he had been earlier, why was he just sitting here now, barely moving except for the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed? What was churning inside of his head? I started to doubt if I really wanted to know. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable that I began to fidget.

I saw his cheeks round out as he smiled, clearly amused by my anxiety. He took his half-flaccid cock in his hand and began to stroke it. He ran his hand up and down softly as I watched it grow hard again. I stared at it, weirdly mesmerized with how the male body worked. After minutes of silence, he spoke.

“You never let me finish what I was saying earlier.” Since I couldn’t use my words to question him, I tried my best to convey my curiosity with my eyes and facial expression. “Earlier when you were berating me and waking up the whole fucking building, I had tried to explain to you my thoughts on that whole challenge thing that you were so obviously pissed off about. What I was trying to tell you was that I may have started off last night as a challenge to myself, as something to kill my boredom. I travel all over the country and, not trying to sound full of myself or anything, but I can get any fucking woman that I want. Bitch, they _throw_ themselves at me. On any given night, I can bang whomever I want, any way I want. But sometimes, it gets dull. I find myself craving something else. You looked so pissed off and put out that we were even there at all. You noticed us, but didn’t care. I found it hilarious. So when your friend put it out there that you ‘needed it bad’, his words, not mine, I took it upon myself to tackle that obstacle. When I came back, all I had intended to do was to get you to admit that you needed it, that you craved it, and then I was going to go back to the hotel.” I let out a low growl. “Yeah, I know. It sounded funny to me at the time and I figured it might at least break you so that you would start going out and dating, which is really what your friend seemed to want. But for some reason, I found your comical frustration to be strangely exciting. I’m not sure why. Just different, I guess. I’m so used to girls hitting on me and almost literally trying to get into my pants that your resistance turned me on. So, when the part that I had challenged myself to was finished, I kept going and I fucked you, and bitch, you fucking loved it.”

By this point, I realized that I had begun panting while he was talking. My arms tied up behind me, on my knees, panting, and looking up at him with slightly pleading eyes. If I hadn’t felt like a slut before, I definitely did now, and I liked it.

“So that’s that. If I untie you, you’re not going to lash out at me again, are you? Will you believe me when I say that I came back here tonight not because of wanting to challenge myself, but because I did feel an urge to see you again?”

I nodded and spun around so that he could take the belt off of my wrists. He rose and picked me back up onto my feet. My knees buckled slightly after being on the floor. He traced a finger down one of my arms and I thought he was about to free me, but he suddenly hooked an arm around my neck and slid his other hand down the front of my body. “Did you really think I was going to let you go immediately? Your punishment isn’t over, bitch, not by a long shot.”

He picked me up and carried me to my bed. I was placed down on my back and he came down and lied next to me. He began to stroke my hair and run his fingers up and down my hip. It felt unsettlingly intimate given when we had done so far that night. He leaned in close and whispered, “You are not allowed to orgasm. If you do, I will leave you here like this and the only way to get out of it will be to go knock on one of your neighbors’ doors, all naked and tied up like a whore.” I looked into his eyes and could tell that he was just crazy enough to do it.

He got up to grab a condom and I watched him with hungry eyes as he rolled it over his shaft. He then crawled on top of me and spread my legs. The whole length of his hard cock pressed against the outside of my pussy and I whimpered. I felt helpless because I knew that I was not going to win this game. He trailed his tongue along my collarbone and his large hands slid up my torso, his mouth and hands meeting in the middle at my breasts. He took a nipple into his mouth, his teeth just barely grazing it. I tried to gasp at the sensation, but his t-shirt went into my mouth. His hips started to grind against me, causing the head of his cock to rub between my lips and teasingly, annoyingly, press at the entrance, but not slip inside. He knew exactly how to drive me mental. If my hands were free, I would claw the shit out of his back right now.

He noticed the frustration on my face and said, “I know what you really want, so I’m going to be a nice guy and give it to you.” He plunged deep inside of me and my body tensed around him.  Rolling his hips into mine, I let me head turn to the side and allowed the good feelings to wash over me. This is the feeling I had gnawing at my mind the entire day. The feeling that my body craved. I couldn’t lie to myself that if I had gone to the show that evening, I would have wished that by chance we would’ve found each other and somehow ended up in a similar situation. But that’s not how we ended up here. He came to me. He got in a rental and drove himself back here to be with me here at this moment. That blew my mind.

I could feel the tension building inside my body as he thrust slowly and deeply inside of me. I wanted to grab his shoulders and squeeze them to try to let some of the tension out, but of course my hands were now under me and starting to go numb. I converted that desire into noise and began to moan into his t-shirt.

“You like this, baby? You feel like you’re about to cum?” I nodded my head slowly, almost feeling slightly ashamed. He nodded in response, pulled out of me, and stood up off the bed. I began to thrash around in anger. What the fuck did he think he was doing?

“I told you that you’re not allowed to orgasm. The rules were simple, but I guess you just can’t control yourself. So I had to intervene.” He tapped his thumb on his lips as he was thinking. “Okay, change of rules. Since you’re such a horny bitch that you can’t help yourself from cumming, you give me a signal to stop when you get close. How about you shake your head as if you’re saying no. If you don’t let me know and you finish, that’s when I leave you here. Deal?”

I nodded in agreement. I was right last night. He is a huge dick. I sighed into the t-shirt and watched him as he paced back and forth, waiting for something. Probably for me to calm down. For me, the waiting was torture. He probably reveled in it.

He stopped in front of me and grabbed my ankles, pulling my entire body towards the edge of the bed. He lifted my legs up with his arms hooked under my knees, causing my hips to rise up off the sheets. It put more of my weight on my smothered arms and felt rather uncomfortable, but a moment later I didn’t notice because he thrust back into me, this time much faster and harder than before. He had this bizarre fire in his eyes that made him look like he wanted me to lose this game; like he would take a sick enjoyment out of my humiliation later on.

I couldn’t stop my body from thrashing about as he fucked me. It was as if he knew exactly which buttons to press to get me off. How he knew this, I’m not sure. Perhaps he had a sixth sense about women. More than likely, it was probably just because he had been with so many and had figured out patterns to solve a woman’s body like a Rubix cube. Cheeky son of a bitch.

I felt that same burning tension build inside of me, so I shook my head back and forth as hard as I could, just to try to make sure that he got the signal. He pulled himself out again and instead of dropping my legs, he slid me back up the bed and moved my legs around so that I was rolled over onto my stomach.

I heard him pull up the chair from before and sit down. What the hell was he doing? I continued to lay there on the bed, occasionally trying to shift around, for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, I heard him groan quietly and stand up from the seat. “I know you can’t see yourself tied up like this…” I felt him get back onto the bed and lay his body on top of mine, that familiar warm breath on my neck. “…but you look so fucking sexy like this.” Hearing those words come out of his mouth made my cheeks burn hotter than I ever thought possible.

He moved off of me and lifted my lower half up so that my knees were under me.  I felt his warm hands dig into my hips as he slid his cock back inside of my pussy. His thrusts were slow and methodical again, which drove me crazy. I usually enjoyed slow sex like this because it allowed me to savor the sensations and the intimacy, but right now I was pent up to the point of spontaneously combusting and I wanted him to just fuck my brains out already.

I started trying to thrust my hips back into him so that he would maybe get the hint and move faster. I heard him snicker behind me. “Greedy, are we?” he teased before he granted my wish and moved his hips faster, tightening his grip on me. The sound of his flesh connecting with mine and my old bed creaking underneath our weight filled the room. I moaned so loudly into the t-shirt that I was glad it was there. I already must’ve disturbed my neighbors when I was screaming at him earlier; I didn’t want to do it again.  He quickened his pace as he heard me moaning; the faster he went, the louder I got. I pressed my face hard into the bed to try to further dampen the sounds that were escaping from my throat.

I heard him begin to moan as well. I could tell that he was beginning to get close himself. Would he stop and let himself cool down or would he just finish, untie me, and go catch his flight, leaving me a sexually frustrated mess?

That delicious orgasmic tension was building again inside of me. Tingling, burning, and running through my nerves from my fingers to my toes. I shook my head back and forth again, but he didn’t stop. Did he not see me? I shook my head even harder, but he still kept thrusting away. I turned my head to the side and tried to yell at him through the t-shirt. I was on the brink of orgasm and he had apparently decided to cheat on his own rules? I felt myself panicking, my heart racing as I neared that final release.

He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and lifted me up so that my pinned arms were pressing against his chest. He wrapped an arm across my chest, his hand squeezing at one of my breasts. He brought his mouth to my ear and bit on the lobe. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. My body seized up. Without warning, he used his other hand to pull his shirt down from my mouth as I came. Everything that he had built up inside of me escaped out of my throat as a loud, primal howl. I had been so used my sounds being muffled that I had lost all of my volume control.

“Mm…music to my ears,” he whispered right before he let out a deep growl as he came.

He held me close to him like that for a moment. I gasped and tried to control my breathing. My heart slowly began to ease back to normal. It was eerily silent in the room. All there was now was the soft sound of our breath. The same feeling of romance and intimacy that I had experienced briefly the previous night returned to me. However this time, I suspected that it wasn’t completely because I had forgotten the feeling of another person’s body against me, but that part of it was directly because of him.

“Thank you,” I muttered.

He pulled away from me and began to untie my wrists. “What was that for?”

“For breaking me down, I suppose. I had created a wall around myself, or I thought I had. It worked for a while. Then you come around with your damn sexy Trojan horse and I just let you in. I think that’s why I was so upset about the challenge thing. It was so easy for you to charm your way inside that I felt like a fucking idiot when I found out that I was being set up.”

He shifted around and looked me in the eyes, smiling warmly. “Nah, you’re not an idiot. You’re just human.” He leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. It was an awkwardly sweet moment. “Besides, you’re a woman, and women can’t resist me.” He winked and put his hands up as I tried to punch him in the arm.

He got up and started to put his clothes back on. “It’ll be close, but I should still make my flight if I drive fast, which I always do anyway.” He walked over to my cut up shirt and picked it up. “Do you still want this?” he laughed.

“You’re an idiot,” I said, laughing as well.

"Hey before I go, where’s your phone?”

I got up and picked it up from the floor, handing it over to him. “Why do you want it?”

He took it and started typing. “I’m putting my number in here. Text me sometime. I’ll let you know when we come back to the area and we can hook up again. If you’re interested, that is.”

“We’ll see where I am when the time comes. I’m still not ready for a relationship right now, so I can see myself still being single for a while.”

“That’s cool. I don’t really do relationships. I’ve tried before, but I always end up bored after a while and I just stop seeing them. It’s all good though because being on the road all the time doesn’t make it easy to have one anyway.” He tossed the phone back at me. He had entered his number under the name “Asshole”. I couldn’t help but smile. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He looks a short drag and exhaled. “Well, I’ll be seeing you then. Hopefully.” He winked at me one last time as he left the apartment.

As sleep began to overtake me, I thought about what he had said. He gets bored in relationships. This bit of information gnawed at me. I knew very well why it did, but I fell asleep before I could focus on it any more.


	3. First Impressions

"Hey Lana, wake up!” I felt my ear get flicked hard.

“Ow! What the hell, Dave?”

“You were out of it again. You’ve been spacing out like that a lot more often lately. Something on your mind?”

There had been something on my mind. It had been two weeks to the day from when I met Jon; Dean Ambrose as he was known to the wrestling world. He had left his number on my phone and invited me to send him a message sometime, but I had continued to put it off. I didn’t want to come off as some needy girl in her early 20s. Even though I hadn’t had much recent experience in the dating world, I knew a thing or two about it by this point in my life. I didn’t want him to think that I was clingy or desperate. Well, not more desperate than I had already been to have had sex with him in the first place. I didn’t want him to think that I thought this was a relationship. I wanted to prove that I knew better.

But in all honesty, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I felt like a high school girl with a crush. I was getting distracted a lot at work because my mind would wander back to that weekend. That wonderfully, deliciously decadent weekend.

I let out a sigh. “I can’t stop thinking about him, and it’s driving me mental.”

“That wrestler dude? What was his name again?” asked David.

“He goes by Dean Ambrose on TV, but he kinda told me his real name during sex.” I felt my cheeks flush as I recalled that moment.

“Oh he did, did he? What was that then?”

“A lady never tells. I suppose you’ll just have to have sex with him and maybe he’ll tell you then.” David flicked me in the ear again and I glared back at him, rubbing my sore lobe.

The bar wasn’t too full that night; a handful of people scattered here and there. David and I had been spending the evening chatting and filling orders, nothing too stressful. I filled up another pint for old man Larry and passed it to him.

“This is the first I’ve heard of our Lana finally getting out there again!” he exclaimed.

“That was intentional, Larry. I’m not going to tell a dirty perv like you about my sex life!”

David leaned in close to Larry and whispered, “I hear that the second night, it got pretty wild!”

“What? She told you and not me! I’m offended!”

“Shut the fuck up, idiots.” I threw a drink coaster at them. “I never told David any specifics, Larry, so don’t get jealous. And it did get pretty weird the second night.” I stuck my tongue out teasingly at the two men.

“So if you can’t stop thinking about him, the sex was good, _and_ he left you his number, why don’t you just text him, for Christ’s sake?” David stared at me, eyebrows raised.

I fidgeted and looked down at my feet. “I don’t want to come off as a needy little 20 year old sorority girl.”

“Don’t worry, El. You won’t seem like that. You’ll just come off as a needy 28 year old divorcee.” I shot him a look that intended to kill. “Your shift is pretty much over, so why don’t you go home, get all comfy in bed, and send him a text. You’ve waited this long, I think you’ll be fine. This is assuming that he even remembers who you are by now.”

“Point. Alright, I’m gonna do it! I’m out of here!” I mussed up David’s hair and went to the back to grab my things. I was feeling elated now and couldn’t wait to get back upstairs.

* * *

 

Snuggled up under the covers, I had a staring contest with my phone and the phone was winning. As excited as I felt leaving work, I quickly got cold feet when it was finally time for me to actually text him. Feeling defeated, I decided to turn on the TV and watch something until I fell asleep. As I flipped through the channels, I came across Monday Night RAW. I figured that since I didn’t end up going to that wrestling show two weeks ago, I might as well check it out now while I’m warm and comfy in my apartment. Man, I used to love snuggling up in my PJs on the couch with my parents and watching this before bed years ago. A lot had certainly changed, however.

I watched the remaining two hours or so that was left of the show. I had no clue who most of these guys were. I recognized Triple H, although I did a double take when I saw that he had cut his hair. It had been about twelve years since I had last watched wrestling and back then, he had long hair. Damn, it really has been a long time. I recognized a few of the other older wrestlers, too. It was kind of cool, though, to see all these newer guys who looked about my age, give or take a few years. When I was younger, they were all much older men, so I looked up to them on TV almost like big brother figures. Now that many of them were closer to my age, I was looking at them with a much different eye. I was beginning to feel rather flushed, so I had to kick my covers off of me to cool down.

About an hour in to the program, three guys in black came out from the crowd. It took me a moment to recognize that one of them was Jon. I couldn’t help but smile as he swaggered down the stairs alongside his two partners. Cocky bastard. His wrestling character didn’t seem too far from the man I had dealt with. I felt myself getting turned on just by watching him work. It was annoying that he had this weird control over me after only fucking him twice and barely knowing any information about him. I suppose that’s what all those rappers are talking about when they rap about keeping bitches in line or something. Maybe. I don’t really listen to rap.

By the time the episode had ended, I had regained the courage to send him a message.

 

11:04pm

_Hey. It’s Lana._

_The chick you banged two weeks ago._

_Or…one of the chicks you banged two weeks ago? I wouldn’t know._

_Anyway, you left your number in my phone, so just saying hi._

 

It was done. There was no way to take back what I had sent. It wasn’t anything embarrassing, but for all I knew, he had forgotten about me by the time he had arrived at the next town. I lied in bed staring at my phone for about ten minutes before I got bored and gave up waiting for his response. If he was going to respond, he would when he had a chance. If he wasn’t, well it wouldn’t do me any good to stare at my cell phone forever and obsess on it.

I closed my eyes. After what felt like a moment, I was awoken by my phone vibrating.

1:47am

_Oh hey. Don’t worry, I remember you. What’s up?_

My heart raced a bit. I felt awfully stupid that just receiving a casual text from him was making me giddy. It was like I was half my age and talking to a boy for the first time.

 

1:48 am

_Oh good. Glad you remember me. Makes me feel less like a whore._

_I guess I just felt the need to tell you that I actually watched RAW tonight. I liked it. It was fun._

1:50am

                _Oh yeah? What did you like about it?_

1:51am

_Now remember, I haven’t watched wrestling in years, so I don’t know much about specifics._

_I really liked that Ziggler guy. He was really good._

1:52am

_Also that Punk dude with all of the tattoos. His promo was great._

_And he was really hot, too._

1:54am

_Yeah? Anything else?_

I sensed that he was fishing for me to talk about him and his group. I thought that I could have some fun with that, so I decided to play along.

 

1:55am

_That Shield group was pretty cool._

1:55am

_You think so?_

1:56am

_Yeah. They were really badass. I loved how they beat the shit out of their opponents._

_And that all black gear. That was sexy as hell._

_I loved that they were clothed so there was something left to my imagination._

1:57am

_Don’t get me wrong, I love looking at mostly naked men, but sometimes it’s fun to let your mind wander, you know?_

1:58am

_Your imagination, huh? What was going on in there?_

He was baiting me and I was gladly accepting it.

 

1:59am

_Well, that Reigns guy. He’s a big boy and his arm tattoo is pretty sweet._

_So I started wondering if he had any other tattoos elsewhere on that body._

_And the obvious question of whether or not his was big everywhere._

2:01am

_He’s a handsome dude, but he’s not normally my type._

_That Rollins guy, I want to ask him who does his hair._

_Cause that two toned thing is pretty awesome._

2:02am

_Unless that is a natural thing…which if it is, then I would like to know if…well, you know._

_But he’s a bit too pretty for my liking._

 

I took a pause for a moment, trying to think of the right way to word the next part.

 

2:04am

_And that Ambrose guy…I don’t know, he kinda looked like an asshole._

_Like the kinda guy my mother always warned me about._

2:07am

_Yeah? You ever listen to your mother?_

2:08am

_Of course. I am a good girl, sir._

_But I think that this Ambrose guy could make me want to tell my mother to fuck off._

_I found myself getting all worked up when he was on my TV._

2:09am

_Like I started wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers through his hair._

_And he sure stuck his tongue out a lot. I imagined what else he could do with that tongue._

2:10am

_And what would that be?_

I squirmed in bed thinking about how his mouth had felt. His tongue had been surprisingly gentle despite how sharp it could be when he spoke. I began to feel agitated and aroused as I typed my next message.

2:11am

_I imagine that he’d probably be very skilled at eating pussy._

_I’m not sure that’s the kind of thing a good girl would think about._

_I’m starting to get the feeling that you’re not such a good girl, Miss Lana._

2:12am

_This is all just theoretical. Just my interpretation of those Shield boys._

_You asked, sir._

2:14am

_Touché. Any other thoughts on this Ambrose guy?_

2:15am

_Well, his pants seemed to be on the tight side. I enjoyed that. I thought his ass was pretty cute._

_His front looked pretty damn good, too._

_And I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d look like without those pants._

2:16am

_He’d probably look fucking fantastic naked._

_And he seemed like he was a bit of a naughty boy, so he probably knows how to fuck a woman._

_And turn a good girl into a naughty one._

2:17am

_Hmm…interesting observations._

_Would you ever want to meet this man?_

_Cause I could pull a few strings and throw you a bone._

2:19am

_Aw shucks, I don’t know._

_I’m not so sure I could handle him._

2:20am

_Baby, I think you’d do just fine._

_And I’m pretty sure he wants to meet you, too._

2:21am

_Oh he does, does he? What would he want to do with me?_

2:23am

_I can’t be certain…_

_but I have a feeling that it might have something to do with fucking you senseless._

_But that’s just theoretical, ma’am._

By this point, my arousal was so strong that I was rubbing my legs together like a cricket. I really needed to do something about this or I would never be able to get back to sleep.

2:24am

_That’s a very tempting offer. I’ll definitely have to take him up on that sometime._

_I’m rather tired right now, so I’m going to go to sleep. I just wanted you to know what I thought about the wrestling show._

2:25am

_Tell Dean Ambrose I said hello._

_Heh, yeah, I’ll let him know._

I tossed my phone to the floor and reached down under my bed, pulling out the shoebox where I kept my toys. It had been a while since I had last broken them out, but I was almost at my limit and I desperately needed some damn release. I hope the batteries are still good.

I turned on my old trusty rabbit vibrator and she started up like a charm. This one definitely had helped me during those first really rough weeks after my ex had left me. Texting with Jon had gotten me so worked up that I didn’t need any lube. I slid the toy’s shaft deep within myself and gently placed the buzzing ears onto my clitoris. The image of his sly, cocky smile and those ridiculously adorable dimples flashed into my brain and within two minutes, I came.

“Oh fuck, Jon!” I yelled before quickly covering my mouth with my free hand. I was alone, but still highly embarrassed at my outburst. Geez, even solo, I probably woke up my neighbors. I should probably get them all fruit baskets sometime to apologize. Sleep came back to me very quickly and I fell asleep before I could clean myself up.

* * *

 

The next morning when I woke up and grabbed my phone off the floor, I noticed that one more text had been sent last night. Reading it, I couldn’t help but have my own cocky smirk.

2:40am

_You’re a goddamn tease, you know that?_


	4. Chapter 4

                About four months had passed since I started texting with Jon. We shot each other messages every once in a while. They weren’t particularly interesting or informative. Just the occasional ‘hey, what’s up?’ kind of thing. I would tell him if I was able to catch RAW and what I thought about his matches. I was starting to really get into wrestling like I had been in middle school. The major difference between now and then was that I found myself more drawn to the guys who were really good at promos rather than the guys who were just huge and looked like they could beat anyone up. Now that I was older, I realized that the size of a guy didn’t necessarily equate to skill in the ring or on the mic. I also found myself enjoying the work of technical guys and brawler types, rather than the wrestlers who just did power moves. Some of the power guys were okay, but I just didn’t care as much. Luckily for me, I suppose, Dean Ambrose was an old-school style brawler type and very good at promos, so I always enjoyed his bits. He always seemed happy to hear this, probably because I was constantly giving his ego a stroke. Not that he needed it.

                It made me feel good to stay in contact with him because it started to feel like we were becoming friends a little bit. Very casual friends, as we still knew very little about each other, but I felt less like some random conquest on the road. Perhaps he kept up with all of the girls in his little black phone, but I was giving myself the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he did not.

 

                It was decently crowded on this Friday night. I was probably going to make a good sum in tips, so I was feeling happy. A few college aged kids walked into the building and sat at the bar. “It’s my boy’s 21st birthday tonight and we’re gonna need some shots of Jack to celebrate!” one of them announced. They all let out a collective “woo!” and I smirked.

                Gathering a couple shot glasses together, I grinned slightly and muttered under my breath, “Woo? Really? Must be Flair fans.”

                The presumed birthday boy overheard me and piped up. “Like Ric Flair? Are you a wrestling fan?”

                “Yeah, I was a big fan when I was younger and only recently have I started watching again,” I answered as I poured the alcohol.

                “Would you mind putting Smackdown on the TV up there? For me? Cause it’s my birthday and I’m kind of a big deal?” The four of them put on their best sad puppy faces and I rolled my eyes.

                David interjected for me. “Yeah sure, kiddo.” He changed the channel from some weird reality show marathon that some dumb bitch had asked us to put on a while ago. The Smackdown show was currently on commercial.

                I handed out the first round of shots to the boys and they threw them back in sync. They slammed the glasses on the bar top and let out another loud “woo!”

                I moved in close to David and put my mouth to his ear. “These are the douchiest kids we’ve ever had in here. I think I’m about to dry heave.” He put the back of his hand up to his mouth to try to hide his obvious smile.

                The show came back from commercial and the Shield’s music hit. I scrunched up my face because I could feel myself start to blush as soon as I heard it. I’m an adult; I shouldn’t be getting this flustered over something like a theme song, but this damn guy had a hold on me.

                “Oh good, we didn’t miss the Shield’s segment,” said one of the college kids. He noticed my contorted face and questioned it. “Do you not like the Shield?”

                “Tch, they’re jerks, aren’t they? They just beat people up and then talk about how awesome they are.”

                “Well…that’s kinda what wrestling is, miss,” spoke up one of the boys. I laughed at his comment and at how polite he was.

                “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I turned and watched the TV with them for a moment. “But that Ambrose guy really gets my panties in a bunch.” I bit hard into my finger to try to keep myself in control of my emotions as the camera got a close-up on him and that trademark smirk.

                “I think he gets most chicks’ panties in a bunch as they try to throw them at him. That’s why I hate him so much. Girls just think he’s hot and that’s why he’s so popular. He’s not that great anyway.” The birthday boy had his face twisted into a frown as he spoke.

                “I think he’s really good. I like his old beat-em-up style.”

                “Well then you must have really shitty taste in wrestling.”

                I leaned in close to Mr. Birthday and raised my eyebrow. “Says the guy who is sitting in this shitty bar watching wrestling with me and some middle aged drunks on his birthday instead of being out there, getting laid. Good choice, kiddo.”

                David came up behind me and put his arm around my neck. “Don’t worry. She’s just sensitive about that Ambrose guy because she fucked him a few months ago.”

                The boys’ eyes widened, I’m not sure from wonder or disgust. My face glazed over in a strange combination of joy and horror. “And on that note, I’m going to go do some wash some glasses.” I clapped Dave on his shoulder and quickly scurried to the back, my face bright red.

 

                Later that night, as I was getting ready to leave, David came into the back room to apologize. “I’m sorry about busting your balls earlier. I didn’t think you’d get so embarrassed about it since you seemed so proud about it before.”

                “I’m not so sure if proud is the right word, but yeah, I know what you mean. I just think you saying it aloud to some strangers bothered me for some reason. I don’t really want the whole world to know. Not that the whole world would care about who I had sex with, but I’d like to keep that piece of information between us.” I took a pause for a moment. “And Larry. Because I forgot he was around when I told you.” David smiled at me. His bright shining eyes when he smiled could always make my heart melt. “Put those things away, dude. You’re killing me.” I punched him in the arm as he turned to go announce last call.

 

                I checked my phone after I finished eating some dinner. There was a text from Jon. This got me rather excited because I was usually the one to initiate a conversation.

1:58am

_I’m bored. Let’s play a game._

                I raised my eyebrows at this proposition. It was almost 3am now, so for all I knew, he was already asleep or occupied with something, or someone, else. Either way, my interest was piqued, so I shot him back a reply.

2:56am

_Sorry I was at work earlier. Are you still up?_

                I put the phone down so that I could get out of my work clothes. I heard the phone vibrate after a few minutes. I flopped back onto the bed and read it.

3:00am

_There you are._

_Still awake, still bored._

3:01am

_Really? I’d have assumed you’d be on top of some dirty skank by now._

_Nah, did that earlier._

_It was alright._

_She was on top doing all the work, though, so that was pretty cool._

3:02am

_But she was annoying so I threw her out when I was done and here I am._

_Drunk and bored._

3:04am

_Okay. So what’s this game you wanna play?_

_Let’s call it trivia. I ask you questions and you give me answers._

3:06am

_Sure. Sounds like fun._

_Do I get to ask you any questions?_

3:07am

_You can, but I won’t promise that I’ll answer them._

                I couldn’t see him, of course, but I imagined that he had stuck his tongue out at me while he typed that line. I grinned big at this thought. What an asshole.

3:08am

_Okay then, shoot away._

_How old were you when you first got fucked?_

3:09am

_Excuse me?_

                I sighed. I don’t know why I had thought that this would’ve been him asking me what my favorite songs were or that he would’ve quizzed me on movie quotes. I should’ve known better with him. I agreed to play his game, though, and I wasn’t going to back out now.

_You said shoot away. Just answer it, bitch._

                It made me a bit upset that he was calling me bitch right now without any real provocation. When he’s called me that before, it was usually after some playful banter or in response to me calling him an asshole. The unexpected aggressiveness from his text made my lady bits stir. I looked down between my legs. “Seriously, vagina?” I said out loud. “Can you not get through a single conversation with him without getting yourself all worked up?”

3:10am

_And it was shit._

3:11am

_You ever fucked a chick?_

                I sighed again. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

_That’s it? You’d better give me more than that, sunshine._

3:12am

_Her name was Sami._

_We were freshmen in college. One night we were watching a movie._

_Had a little too much wine and stuff happened._

3:13am

_Stuff, huh?_

_I ate her out and fingered her till she came. You happy, asshole?_

3:14am

_Did you like it?_

_I’ve never admitted it to anyone._

_But yeah, I really did._

3:15am

_You are so hot right now._

                My brain told me to roll my eyes at his typical male reaction. My body told me to become overheated at the thought that he was getting off on this.

_Okay, keep going…_

3:16am

_Weirdest place you’ve fucked?_

_College library._

_Naughty girl._

3:17am

_Not as dangerous as it sounds._

_It was late, the floor we were on was empty, and we were hiding between book shelves_

_Fair enough._

3:17am

_Ever had a threesome?_

                I shifted uncomfortably in bed. He was barely doing anything, really, just asking me dirty questions. I slipped my free hand between my legs and felt how wet I was. I hated him right then for having that kind of control over me when he wasn’t even here.

_But it’s a fantasy of mine to be with two guys_.

3:18am

_How many guys have you fucked?_

_Aww, you concerned that you caught something from me? It’s a bit late for that._

_Nope. Answer it._

3:19am

_Including you._

3:20am

_Tell me about them._

_That’s not a question, asshole._

3:21am

_Who were they and when did you fuck them?_

_You slut._

_Oh really? I’m the slut here?_

_How many skanks have you banged?_

3:22am

_Too many to remember._

_Now answer me._

_Well, I like I said before, I lost my virginity at 16._

_To a dumbass with a fauxhawk._

3:23am

_I thought I was in love._

_His name was Bradley and he went by Bradley. Not Brad. Fucking douchenozzle._

_It was terrible sex, not that I knew that then._

3:24am

_Senior year in HS, I had a boyfriend named Mike._

_He was pretty cool, actually._

_Good sex for the time._

_But we decided to break up before going to college because we weren’t very serious._

3:26am

_In college, I made out with a lot of guys at parties and stuff._

_Usual college idiot stuff._

_Never had sex with any of them though._

_Did you ever suck their dicks?_

3:27am

_A few. Only when I was drunk._

_How many, really?_

_Maybe six, I think? I can’t remember._

_Yeah, you are a slut, aren’t you?_

3:29am

_I dated this guy named Rob for about a year._

_He was really into eating pussy, but he was terrible at it._

_But bless his heart, he tried._

                I paused for a moment. I was hesitating on continuing to guy four, but I knew Jon would harass me until I answered him.

3:32am

_Then in the spring of my senior year, I met Scott._

_Sex with him was amazing._

_I was madly in love with him._

3:33am

_We dated for 2 years, were engaged for 1, and married for 2._

                I stared at my last few messages and started to feel sick to my stomach. Any arousal I had earlier was gone now. I hadn’t thought about Scott in weeks and was feeling really good. I had felt like I was beginning to finally get over the whole divorce scenario, but this proved that I was nowhere near forgiving and forgetting.

3:36am

_And?_

_And then he left me and we divorced._

_And then you snuck into the bar after hours and led me down a path that led to sex with you._

_And I’ve casually dated a little bit since then._

3:37am

_But no sex._

3:38am

_So why did your husband leave you?_

                There it was. The question I dreaded. I wasn’t ready to talk about it, especially not to someone who was a casual friend with benefits, at best.

_I don’t want to play anymore. I’m done. Good night, Jon._

                I placed the phone on my nightstand and sighed. Scott. I still missed him. I thought we’d spend our lives growing old together, but clearly he had grown to want different things. So much for the fantasies we had created about starting a family. It felt like the five years I had spent with him were a waste now. I rubbed my temples with my fingers. No, no it hadn’t been a waste because I had been so happy then. I know I was and I thought he had been happy, too. I sighed again, trying to release all of the tension from my mind and my body so that I could try to get back to sleep.

                I jumped at the sound of my phone vibrating furiously on the nightstand. I picked it up and some asshole was calling me. Ignoring my better judgment, I answered it.

                “Yeah? What now?” I asked.

                “That’s how you answer your phone? Bitch,” he replied with a hint of playfulness in his voice. “I just wanted to call to apologize. I went too far with that last question. I should’ve known that it would have set you off.”

                I sat silently for a minute, staring into the middle distance, listening to him breathing on the other end before I finally responded. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I know it’s been a while now, getting close to a full year, but it is still a very sore subject with me. Maybe I’ll tell you someday when I’m finally ready, and only if you’re good.”

                “Hmm, well I don’t know how to be good, so I guess I’ll never know.” I smiled at his cheeky response. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. ‘Night, Lana.”

                “’Night, Jon.” I felt much better after the call ended and sleep soon swept over me.


	5. Mr. Ambrose Goes to School

I couldn’t help but stare at the message on my phone. We have some shows in your area this week. Wanna meet up? My obvious answer was yes, but I felt like if I had responded too quickly and eagerly, I would sound desperate and clingy and he might become reluctant about seeing me again. I was planning to wait until later that night to reply. I was so wrapped up in my phone that I hadn’t noticed the huge dopey grin on my face until David pointed it out.

“Hey El, you’ve been staring at your phone for nearly ten minutes. I feel like I’m doing all the work here! What’s up?”

I bit my cell and arched my eyebrow ever so slightly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“And that means that it has something to do with that Ambrose guy. I should have known.” He smirked as I did a little dance and threw a towel at me. “Stop gawking and start cleaning, missy! Don’t make me come over there and spank you.”

I raised my eyebrows at his bold comment. “You’d probably like that too much. Plus, Larry would be pissed that you didn’t wait for him to get here first so he could watch.” I grabbed the towel and slipped the phone back into my pocket. “Besides, if I’m lucky, I might be getting some of that soon from him.”  I danced away to start prettying up the bar before the evening rush.

* * *

 The bar was packed that night, being a Friday and all. When I finally got a free moment, I sent Jon a text answering his question. Well I’m still single, so you bet your cute ass I want to meet up. I grinned wickedly to myself and put the phone away. I returned to mixing drinks, but Larry noticed my obvious excitement.

“I know that face. I’ve seen that face many times in my life and I’ve had that face even more. That’s the grin of someone who is anticipating sex. Feeling lustful there, sweetheart?”

“You got me, Larry. That wrestling show is coming back around here in a few days. You can’t expect me to hide the fact that I’m excited, and it’s not for the wrestling. It’s been almost six months and I haven’t been with anyone else other than myself. I can’t wait to jump that son of a bitch.”

“Dear, don’t be cruel by putting that image in my head.”

“I assumed it was already there, right alongside all the other dirty images you’ve filed away over the years.”

“Mmm, true. Anyway, why is it that you haven’t had your way with other lads since then? If you don’t mind my prying, that is.”

I let out a deep sigh as I passed him another beer. “I guess no one has felt right. I haven’t gone on many dates, so I haven’t had many opportunities. I tried one of those speed dating deals, but no one piqued my interest and I didn’t go there just to collect some numbers for some random sex. What happened six months ago was very unusual for me. The random sex thing, I mean. In college I let my mouth wander a bit at one point, but full on intercourse was reserved for relationships, like I was trying to keep it sacred. I think deep down, I kinda want to continue to keep it that way.”

“Except for him, though, right?” David chimed in to the conversation.

I blushed slightly, knowing that he was right. “Well Dave, when the sex is that good, I suppose a girl can’t really help it.”

“That good, eh?” he asked.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s had a lot of practice over the years.” I laughed lightly at my comment, but in the back of my head, I wished I was wrong. That girlish part of me fantasized that he was just naturally talented in bed and he had saved himself for me. I quickly brushed that thought aside, as it was downright absurd. “But on Monday night I should have him all to myself.” That wicked grin returned to my lips.

“You’re one greedy bitch, you know that?” David said over his shoulder as he cashed out a customer’s tab.

“Tch, you’re just jealous,” I winked.

The bar continued to buzz throughout the night, but eventually things began to wind down to a comfortable pace. I checked my phone again when I had a free moment and saw that Jon had sent me another message. Cool. The boys and I will be coming to your bar Monday night, like last time. See you there? I didn’t wait to respond this time. Yup, sounds like a plan. I still couldn’t contain my high school crush-like giddiness.

My mind started to wander, thinking about being with him again. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled and I shuddered.

“Thinking about the man again?” asked Larry.

“Guilty,” I replied. I put two fingers against my lips and was silent for a moment. “I’m wondering if I should do something special for it.”

“What do you mean?” asked David. “Like whether or not you should cover the bed sheets with rose petals and put on some Al Green?”

I laughed and shook my head. “Nah, if I dared try anything romantic and sensual like that, I’m pretty sure I’d never see him again.”

“Are you thinking about getting some sexy new lingerie?”

“Something like that, but I’m not sure. I doubt there’s anything new I could show him, but I feel like I want to try to stand out from the other chicks he bangs while he’s on tour. We’ve kept in touch, so I’m assuming that he considers me a friend of sorts or at least a casual acquaintance and not just a fuck toy. Unless, of course, he occasionally texts all of his bitches. I can’t say that I know him well enough yet to confirm that one.”

“Would it bother you if he did?” Larry questioned.

“I don’t know. I want to say I wouldn’t be bothered by it because it’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything, but I think I would be disappointed. I think anyone would be, at least a little bit.”

“That’s understandable. So tell me more about this lingerie you’re considering.” Larry wagged his eyebrows at me.

“I think I have to cut you off, Larry. Go home, you’re drunk,” I smiled.

David slid up next to me and leaned against the bar with his arms crossed. “You heard the man, El. Spill.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You know a lady…” I started to say before David interrupted me.

“Yeah, uh-huh, you know what my response to that will be and then you’ll tell us anyway. So spill.”

I felt my face flush a bit at Dave’s insistence. “I was thinking of maybe wearing a costume of some sort, but I can’t figure out which to buy.”

“Go schoolgirl. Dirty old perverts love the schoolgirl look. And make sure you put your hair into twin braids,” Larry suggested.

“He’s not an old pervert like you, buddy. I’m pretty sure he’s just a young pervert. I don’t know, the schoolgirl look always weirded me out. I’m a grown ass woman, not a little girl.”

“What about the sexy nurse thing? If it’ll be after the wrestling show, you can pretend that you’re tending to him, helping his sore spots feel better. And by sore spots, I mean his penis,” David mentioned.

“I do want to tend to that. You may have something there, Dave.” I kissed him politely on the cheek. “I’m gonna think about that one.”

A little while later, a small group of professionals entered the bar, looking awfully out of place, but confident that they were where they wanted to be. They all sat down at a table while one of the women came towards the bar to order for the group. She was wearing a black pencil skirt that gently hugged her legs and ended right above her knees. Her clean white button up shirt was opened a little lower than a respectable female professional should probably have it and you could see that she was wearing a black bra underneath the thin fabric. Her hair was pulled up into a tight bun and she also had on a pair of gold rimmed glasses. She looked amazing and way too beautiful for our scummy little bar. After she had made the order, she turned back to her group, a slight wiggle in her hips as she walked away.

The three of us stared, watching her move gracefully in her black heels. “That’s fucking hot,” we said in unison. David and Larry turned to look at me, apparently surprised at my reaction. I just shrugged. I don’t see why I should discriminate when it comes to attractive people. I just like what I like, you know?

“You know what boys? I think I’ve decided what I’m going to wear Monday night. I have some shopping to do in the morning.”

* * *

I had finagled my schedule around so that I worked the early shift at the bar on Monday. I felt that if I was working when the wrestling boys came in, I might not be able to contain my excitement and I’d end up making a fool of myself, possibly mounting him right there in front of everyone. I’d much rather sweat out my anticipation alone in my room. I had asked David to shoot me a text when they showed up downstairs. I had given him the key to my apartment and told him to pass it to Ambrose, as I had called him to Dave, and discreetly tell him that he was to meet me upstairs at his convenience.

I was nervous, far more nervous than I should be. I had done some pretty intense things with this guy and through our brief text conversations, I had become comfortable speaking with him, but I think the fact that I hadn’t seen him in person for so long was the cause for my anxiety. Maybe it was the fact that I had already masturbated twice that day thinking about that night.

The day before, I had gone to the mall and purchased a whole new outfit, specifically for this occasion. I had chosen a look very similar to the professional customer from a few nights back. I wore a grey pencil skirt that was shorter than hers had been. The hem reached the middle of my thighs, but perhaps that was because I was on the taller side. I had unbuttoned enough of the long sleeved white dress shirt I was wearing so that just a hint of my black lace bra was peeking out. Some nude colored nylons covered my legs and an old pair of black heels I hadn’t worn in ages fit snuggly on my feet. My hair was pulled back into a small bun and I bought a pair of cheap novelty glasses and a wooden ruler to round out the look I was going for: snobby school teacher. I might’ve shot down Larry’s schoolgirl suggestion, but I had decided to still play with that theme.

I paced around the room, constantly looking at the clock on my phone. When my phone finally vibrated, I jumped with a start, almost dropping it on the floor. The bird is in the nest. I rolled my eyes and typed my reply. You’re a dumbass. But thank you for doing this for me. I smiled to myself. He might piss me off once in a while, but Dave was a good guy and now I kind of felt grateful that he had overstepped his boundaries six months ago by trying to be my secret wingman that night. No problem, El. Have fun. And take pics if you can. ;) Laughing, I responded with a _You wish_ and put my phone down on the nightstand.

I pulled my desk chair out and placed it near the bed but in the door’s line of sight. I sat down, legs crossed, palming the wooden ruler in my hand. He could arrive any minute now, or he could take his sweet time and show up in two hours. I found this uncertainty oddly arousing. I sat in my dark silent room, waiting, the anticipation eating away at me.

I was finally beginning to relax when I suddenly heard two feet approaching and keys jingling, almost teasingly. My mouth became dry as I heard the key slip into the doorknob, unlocking it. The door slowly opened, letting the light from the hallway spill onto me. I narrowed my eyes slightly as they became adjusted. I tapped the ruler onto my knee, staring at his tall silhouette standing in my doorway. “You’re tardy, Mr. Ambrose.”

He stepped into the room and shut the door. I could hear him fumbling for the light switch and eventually he found it. The soft light filled the room and we finally got a good look at each other. He was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt that looked like he must’ve grabbed it at a thrift store. I liked how low key he was. It was honestly one of the things that attracted me to him. I especially liked how it enhanced the dynamic that I was going for at the moment. He looked like he was dragged out of bed and forced to go to school when he’d rather sit at home playing video games. I grinned at the thought.

He stood there for a brief moment, looking me up and down as I sat there, still tapping the ruler on my knee. He opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but hesitated. His face contorted into a confused yet amused look.

“Yes, Mr. Ambrose? If you have something to say, please speak up,” I politely spoke, encouraging him to say whatever was on his mind.

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

“I don’t like the tone of your voice, young man,” I said as I slowly stood up. The heels I wore brought me slightly closer to his full height. I took slow, careful steps towards him, my arms crossed, my lips pursed, and a look of disapproval on my face. “I don’t think that’s how you talk to your teacher, now is it?”

He chuckled to himself. “Oh? Is that the game we’re playing this evening? I didn’t get the memo and Van Halen wasn’t playing ‘Hot for Teacher’ outside your apartment.”

I grabbed the neckline of his tee and pulled him down a little so that his face was in front of mine. “Don’t be fresh with me, young man.” I stared into those milky green eyes and held my stance. It was awfully difficult to maintain this character I was playing when I really just wanted to shove my mouth into his, as crude as that sounded. However, I had been mulling around some ideas in my head ever since I bought the outfit and I was determined to play them out that evening.

He had a dopey grin on his face as I stared him down, still finding my little sex game humorous. “Is this an attempt at revenge from the last time we hooked up because if I remember correctly, you loved being my submissive slut and you came pretty fucking hard.” I continued to stare into those gorgeous eyes, focusing on trying to get him to play along and stop joking around. After a moment, his smiled faded and his expression became quite boyish and innocent. “Okay, Miss Lana. I’ll be a good boy.”

“Mm, now that’s more like it,” I said as I released his collar from my grip. I turned around and returned to the chair, sitting back down and crossing my legs again. I felt strong and sexually confident like this, which was something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. Perhaps I should have added roleplay to my sex life earlier if this was how good it would make me feel. I ran the wooden ruler along the palm of my hand before I slowly wrapped my fingers around it. I continued to push and pull the ruler through my fingers as I let my eyes wander from his feet to his head. “Take your shoes off, boy. I don’t like a mess in my classroom.”

He let out a breathy “heh” and lifted his foot up to pull off his shoe.

“Wrong,” I said, stopping him. “Turn around and bend over to untie your shoelaces. Properly remove your sneakers, Mr. Ambrose.” He raised his eyebrows at me, but obeyed me anyway. “Slowly,” I instructed. He leisurely bent over until his hands reached his shoes, untied them and pulled them off. I leaned back slightly in my seat, admiring how his jeans clung to him. It made me want to bite his ass like it was an apple. He neatly placed his sneakers to the side before he slowly stood back up, looking over at me all the while. I smiled coyly at him as he turned back around to face me. “Very good. Maybe later I’ll give you a gold star.” I could see the laughter in his eyes, so I knew that he was at least having fun humoring me, which was a relief. I had been worried that he would think this whole thing was stupid and just make fun of me all night.

“Come here.” I crooked a finger towards him and he walked over to me with a little bit of swagger in his step. Asshole. It was obvious that he was well aware of the effect that cocky stride had on women, myself included. I felt myself starting to get aroused. I stood up and was almost face to face with him. “Turn.” He faced away from me again and I slipped my hands under the hem of his shirt. Slowly creeping my fingers upwards, taking the shirt with them, I felt the warmth of his skin again and sighed. Whatever this was between us, casual sex, friends with benefits, what have you, I had missed it and had been pining for it for six months and now it was literally within my grasp. I gently scratched my nails up the side of his body and then slid my hands around to his chest. My fingertips found his nipples and lightly rubbed small circles around them. I sunk my teeth into his shoulder through the fabric and quickly pinched his nipples hard.

“Ahh, what the hell was that for?” he asked sharply.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, boy?” I replied. I brought my hands up further and pulled his shirt off of him. “Take it like a man.” I bit back into his shoulder now that it was bare and I could finally taste him again. I let a hand roam down his torso and stop on his groin, rubbing it through his jeans. I could feel him tight and hard under my hand. “Besides, it feels like you kinda like it, whether you want to admit to it or not.”

I brought my other hand down and undid his belt buckle and the button of his jeans. After pulling down the zipper, I slipped my fingers under the top of his jeans and realized that he wasn’t wearing any boxers again. I yanked down his jeans to the floor and paced around him once, eyeing his naked body. “Tsk tsk, Mr. Ambrose. Not wearing any underwear to school? That’s a dress code violation, young man.” I stopped behind him again, spit in my hand, and smacked his bare ass as hard as I could.

He yelped, which caught me by surprise. I would think that a tough pro wrestler wouldn’t be affected by little butt slapping, but maybe it was because he hadn’t expected it. I tried to suppress a giggle.

“Mother fucker…” he mumbled under his breath.

“Excuse me? You’re going to talk to me like that? Get on the bed, right now.”

He shrugged his shoulders and moved over to the bed. There was a hint of a wiggle in his hips and I bit my finger as I watched his bare ass walk away from me. For tonight, all of that way mine. I still couldn’t believe how I somehow ended up in this situation. He lied down on his back and waited as I knelt down and pulled my toy box from under the bed. I opened the box and pulled out a pair of novelty handcuffs I had received as a gift at my bachelorette party. Not the stupid fuzzy leopard print ones, but a pair of silver metal ones from a costume store so that they hurt just a little if you put them on too tightly. I only knew this because we had used them a few times early in our marriage. I had kept them, but was never sure if I would have a reason to use them again, until now. A wicked grin crossed my face.

I stood up again and pushed the box back under the bed with my foot. I climbed onto the bed and straddled him, my soft cotton skirt rubbing against his hard cock. Wicked grin still intact, I grabbed one of his wrists and snapped a cuff around it, then grabbed his other wrist, looped the cuffs around a post on my headboard, and snapped on the other cuff. Right then I was very grateful to have such a headboard. I dangled the key in front of his nose and then tucked it into my bra.

“Okay this has been fun, but I think it’s my turn now,” he said. I reared back my hand and smacked him hard across the face. I leaned forward so that my lips were almost touching his.

“You will do whatever I fucking tell you to, got it?”

His eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed with a little bit of danger behind them. “When I get out of these, you are so gonna fucking get it.”

“Tch, that’s if I let you out. Right now, you’re mine, bitch, and I’m going to use you as I see fit.” I smacked him in his face again. He stared at me, his mouth agape. I nodded at him with wide crazy eyes to try to prove that I was dead serious.

I rubbed my hands up and down his chest. This was the first time I got a real good feel of him. Even during the first two nights we spent together, I didn’t really touch him. The first night I was too spellbound by the whole scenario and the second night, well, my hands were a bit preoccupied.

I fell out of character for a moment since I had a ridiculously large grin on my face as my fingers went exploring. I felt like a child in a toy store. My excitement must have amused him because he started to laugh at me. I quickly leaned down and kissed him to make him shut up. I bit his bottom lip and ran my fingers through his soft hair. Pulling my head back, I looked him in the eyes and smirked. “Don’t get cocky now, but I really missed this. And you too, I guess,” I said, sticking my tongue out jokingly.

“Yeah I get that a lot,” he said through his own smirk. I rolled my eyes, but it was half-hearted. I suppose his confidence was one of the things that ended up drawing me to him. Don’t get me wrong, though, it also pissed me off at the same time. I shoved two fingers into his mouth and he ran his tongue over them, flicking and teasing the tips. I bit my lip and withdrew my fingers. “Hurry up, I want my dick to be inside of you.” I couldn’t argue with the man.

I got back up off of the bed and bent down to go into the toy box again. I came back up with a condom in my hand. I had planned ahead and bought a small pack when I bought the outfit. I tore it open, positioned it on the head of his erect cock and used my mouth to roll it on. He quietly groaned as the warmth of my mouth engulfed him for a moment.

“Hey!” I snapped. “Who said you could enjoy this, Mr. Ambrose? I heard that you’ve been a naughty boy and naughty boys do not get a reward!”

I reached down between my legs and using one of my fingers nails, torn a run in my nylons. I pulled at the run to create an opening so that I could fuck him while keeping my clothes on. Being fully clothed while he was naked under me felt oddly empowering and I was letting the power get to my head. I lifted my skirt up and pressed my bare pussy against his cock. I leaned my face down to his neck and started to lick and nip at the sensitive skin, my hands gripping the sheets on either side of him. I began to rock my hips so that his cock was rubbing between my lips and my increasing wetness covered him.

I brought one of my hands back and grabbed his erection, lining it up with my entrance, and I slowly lowered myself down onto him, feeling him fill me as I went. I slowly began to move up and down, gently rolling my hips as I did so that his cock hit all the right places. I started to moan and I sped up my pace a bit. I took off the fake glasses and threw them to the ground, then fumbled with my bun until my hair spilled out around my neck. I stared at him with wild eyes and he stared back at me, a smile across his face.

Thrusting myself downward faster now, I placed two fingers on my clit and began to gently rub it. The familiar warm sensation of a growing orgasm filled between my legs. I closed my eyes and let my head roll back. I was getting very close to finishing when I felt Jon start to thrust up into me. My eyes shot open and I snapped my head back up. I planted myself firmly down on his pelvis, leaned forward and smacked him for a third time. “I didn’t say that you could thrust. Just lie there and let teacher show you how to get a woman off.”

“Bitch, I already know how to do that,” he muttered. I pulled my hand back again to slap him and I caught him wincing. I put my hand down from its slapping position and instead chose to place a finger on his nose.

“You’re not allowed to call me bitch when I am on top of you, got it?” He nodded with a smirk and I gently tapped his cheek.

I returned to grinding on him, my pace close to how fast I had been moving before the interruption. Very soon I felt close again, orgasmic tension building between my legs. I held my breath as I came, partly to add a new sensation to the orgasm and partly so that I wouldn’t be too loud. It felt great.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. “Well, that was fantastic.” I smiled down at him, his hard cock still deep inside of me.

He wriggled under me. “So now I’m gonna get mine, right Miss Lana?” He batted his eyelashes jokingly in an attempt to look innocent.

I lifted up my hips, his damp cock falling against his stomach, and climbed off the bed. “Nah, I don’t think you deserve to get off tonight. I could use a drink though, so I think I’m gonna head down to the bar.” He eyed me with his eyebrows raised, as if I were joking. “You can stay here while I’m gone and maybe if you’re a good, patient boy, I’ll give you a blowjob or something when I come back.” I grabbed a coat to cover myself up, grabbed my keys, locked the door and left.

 


	6. Miss Lana Gets Taught a Lesson

I pulled the collar of my coat up high around my neck to try to conceal my face a bit as I walked into the bar. The wrestling boys were all still there, of course, as they closed down the bar every time they were in town. I wasn’t sure if any of them would remember my face, but I didn’t want to risk Jon’s teammates seeing me and possibly questioning me or harassing me. Particularly because I definitely had that ‘just had sex’ look.

I sat down on a stool in front of Dave and thanked him for helping me out. “Mission accomplished,” I said.

He laughed at me with a slightly confused face. “Are you sure? Why are you down here then? And where’s Ambrose?” he asked.

“He’s currently preoccupied with being cuffed to my headboard,” I said with a sly grin.

“Damn, really? What did you do to that poor guy? You must’ve really enjoyed yourself. Your face is still flushed and your hair is a mess.” My only response was laughter.

I ordered a rum and coke and told him to add a bottle of beer to my tab. I figured after all the face smacking I did to Jon, I might as well bring him a beer to smooth things over, just in case he was actually upset about it. I had let this whole roleplay thing get a little out of hand. I hadn’t intended to hit him when I was fantasizing about tonight, but clearly I really got into the whole domination thing more than I had expected.

David passed me my drink and I took a long sip. My mouth was still dry from earlier, so the cool liquid felt great. I put the glass down and started to swirl the ice around with my finger. My mind was distracted with what I had just left and was still waiting for me upstairs. Even with my head down, I couldn’t hide the big goofy grin on my face. Dave just leaned against the bar and chuckled at me.

A moment later, a man came up next to me at the bar and made an order. “Six Boston Lagers, please,” he asked politely. I glanced to my side and noticed that it was one of the wrestler guys. I looked back down at my drink and snickered. “I’m sorry, is there something funny?” I slowly looked back up at him, this time looking into his eyes. They were big and brown and even though his question had a little bit of attitude behind it, I sensed that he was a warm person.

“No, I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve seen you on TV lately, so it feels bizarre to see you ordering beers in public. I’m just a little bit of a fangirl. The laugh was innocent, I swear.”

“Okay then, you’re off the hook.” David placed six beers down on a tray in front of the man. “Thank you.” He looked back down at me and cocked his head to the side. “You know, this might sound strange, but you look very familiar and it’s bugging me.”

I smiled and shrugged. “I work here, so you might vaguely remember me from the last time you guys were down here.”

“Yes! That’s it. You know, now that I think about it…I don’t mean to be rude, but you were a bit of a cunt the last time we were here.”

I glared at him briefly, but then my eyes softened and I sighed. “Yeah, I guess I was. I’d like to think I’m better now, in general.” I reached my hand out to shake his. “Hi, I’m Lana.”

“Hello, Lana. You can call me Seth,” he responded, taking my hand in his.

“Well I knew that one already, but thank you for letting me know officially.” We smiled at each other as a big brown arm wrapped around Seth’s shoulder.

“Hey man, what’s taking so long? I’m a growing boy and I’m thirsty!” The man looked down at me. “Who’s this?”

“This is Lana. One of the bartenders from the last time we were in this town. The super bitchy one,” answered Seth.

The large man laughed. “I remember her. I thought it was funny how pissed off she had been. Hi, I’m Roman.” He extended his bear sized hand to me and I shook it. My hand felt completely lost inside of his.

I nodded my head. “I know who you are. I’ve been watching wrestling again recently. You guys are some of my favorites.” I blushed a bit, still a bit flabbergasted that I was being so casual with these guys who I idolized.

“Well thank you, miss, we never get tired of hearing that,” said Roman, finally releasing my hand from his grip.

Seth had been staring at me while I was talking to Roman. He looked deep in thought. He then turned to his friend and asked him, “Didn’t Dean ditch us that night to go hook up with some chick?”

“I think he did, Seth. I think she was a bartender, too.” He smiled at me as he noticed that my face was now beet red.

“And didn’t he ditch us again tonight to go up to this chick’s apartment?” asked Seth.

“I think you’re right. I guess we’ll have to hear all about his weird sex adventures tomorrow then, whether we want to hear them or not.” He laughed with a bit of a twinkle in his eyes. It felt like they had been mocking me, which they were, but at least they were also poking some fun at Jon, too.

I cleared my throat and left some cash on the bar to pay off my tab. I gulped down the rest of my drink and slammed the glass down a little rougher than I had intended. “Well, it’s getting late. I think I’m gonna go hit the hay.” I grabbed the beer I had bought for Jon and said goodnight to David before I left.

“Yeah, go hit that hay,” said Roman, barely able to contain his laughter.

“He left us a boy, you’d better make sure he comes back a man,” called out Seth.

I turned around to face them when I reached the door. I smiled, took a bow, and then flipped them off as I exited.

* * *

I unlocked the door and noticed that the lights were off. Had I turned them off before I left? I couldn’t quite remember. Regardless, I decided to keep them off for the time being. I moved over to the bed slowly as my eyes began to get used to the dark. “Mr. Ambrose, I brought you something for being such a good boy.” I tapped my fingernail on the bottle so that he could hear it. There was no response. “Are you going to say anything, young man? You know the magic words.” I looked at the bed now that my eyes had adjusted and saw that he wasn’t there and neither were the handcuffs. “How?” I muttered. “Jon?” I said softly as I looked around the room. I was feeling uncomfortable and honestly a little scared as I waited for some response or at least the sound of him breathing. He couldn’t have left because I locked the door, right? Unless he went out the window and down the fire escape? I put the beer down on the nightstand and scurried over to the window. I saw that it was still locked on the inside. He had to still be in here with me. I slowly backed up, the hairs on my arms standing up like I was in a slasher flick. I called out his name once more.

Suddenly a hand covered my mouth, muffling my scream. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling my tight against his body. My hands flailed behind me and I felt that he was still naked and still very hard. My fear melted into arousal. It really is true that terror can make people horny; I just never thought that I’d be one of those people. He removed his hand from my mouth once I calmed down and brought something up to my throat. I put my hand on it and felt that it was the wooden ruler from earlier. He dug the side of it into my neck just enough for it to hurt a little.

“You do realize that I fucking hated my teachers, right?” he whispered.

I tilted my head back and to the side so that I could look at him. “How did you get out?”

“You forgot that toy cuffs like that always have a safety release. Or maybe…” He dragged the ruler across my neck while his other hand crept up my torso and cupped a breast. “Maybe you did that on purpose because you wanted me to take you like this. Hmm?”

I honestly wasn’t sure. It had been so long since I had used those cuffs that I had forgotten about the release, but I did love when he manhandled me like this. “I suppose it’s a little of both,” I replied, grinning in the dark.

“Oh really? So you like it when I do this?” His mouth wandered down to my ear as he pressed the ruler harder into my neck. He slowly ran his tongue down the edge of my ear and then bit the lobe. I let out a moan at the feeling of his teeth grinding into my skin. “I take that as a yes,” he breathed, sending a shiver down my spine and straight between my legs. He took his hand off of my breast and used it to pull my head to the side, exposing the sensitive flesh of my neck. He brushed his lips and grazed his teeth against that skin and he continued to pull moans out of me.

After a moment, he stopped abruptly and spun me around. He pressed the ruler back into my throat and guided me back towards my bed. “You know, Miss Lana, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to sleep with your students, right?” I just laughed in response. “I don’t think you realize the seriousness of this situation. You have been a very bad girl and you need to be punished immediately.”

“Oh, I do? I need it?”

He ran a hand up my leg, slipping up under my skirt, and settling between my legs. His long fingers stroked lazily along my slit, getting covered in my fluids. He brought that hand up to my mouth and ran a wet finger across my lips. “Yeah, I think you need it. Now take off that skirt and put your elbows down on the bed. You got to see me bend over earlier, now it’s my turn to see you.”

I unzipped and slipped off my skirt, kicking it to the side. I was about to take off my nylons too before he grabbed my hands. “Don’t. Leave those on.” I bent over the side of the bed and placed my elbows down onto the sheets like he had said. My ass felt cold and exposed and I was curious as to what he had planned. He stared at me for a few seconds, thinking. He then grabbed my nylons by the hole I had made between my legs and tore them open even more, leaving a large opening in the back. Now my ass was completely exposed. He raked his nails across my bare cheeks, making me squirm.

He moved around to the other side of the bed, putting himself in a position similar to my own, his face almost touching mine. A roguish grin spread across his face and I became concerned. Would anyone trust that smile? I certainly didn’t! “Just consider this a lesson from me, to you.” He winked and mussed up my hair. After being the one in a position of power earlier that evening, being treated like this by him made me feel like a child and I didn’t like it. I growled as he stood up and moved back around the bed to stand behind me. “Feisty, are we? I kinda like that. Let’s see how feisty you are after this.”

I barely had any time to register what he said before he took the ruler and whipped my ass with it. It was only one hit, but it stung like a son of a bitch. “Oww, what the fuck, Jon?”

“Miss Lana, such language is not appropriate for a teacher.” He smacked the ruler on me again. I gasped at the stinging pain, but I realized that I kind of enjoyed the warm sensation that was left as the blood rose to my skin. “And talking back, too. Now what kind of example is that setting for the poor innocent children?” Another crack of the ruler; another yelp from me. My breathing was heavy and my face felt as warm as my bottom did.

He moved around the bed again and got down onto my level. “I’m starting to think that you like this. Do you?” He pressed the tip of the ruler against my lips. I parted them and he pushed the length of the ruler into my mouth. “How many inches do you think you can take?” It touched the back of my throat and I started to gag. He pulled it out slightly. “Your homework for today is to work on that getting rid of that gag reflex.” He smiled and rubbed his index finger on his bottom lip. He thrust the ruler in and out of my mouth a few times before he pulled it out completely and returned to his position behind me.

“So you smacked me in the face again tonight. I told you last time that no one gets away with slapping me. I guess you didn’t learn your lesson, huh? You got three in and tried for a fourth, so…” He lashed my ass with the ruler four times in a row, so hard that the ruler snapped in two on the last hit. I yelled out in pain. “Man, that was a cheap ass ruler. Try getting some better quality tools for your students next time, would ya?” I couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid comment, but that laugh quickly turned into a hiss and a moan when he gently rubbed his hands across my tender flesh.

He pulled me up off the bed and looked me in the eyes. “You’re a pretty shitty teacher, Miss Lana.”

“Well, you’re a pretty shitty student, Mr. Ambrose,” I replied. He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “But you were being a good boy, so I brought you a beer. See?” I pointed to the beer sitting on the nightstand.

“Mm…alright then. Maybe you’re not that bad of a teacher.” He smacked my ass and went to grab the bottle off the table. I rubbed my backside and grumbled.

“That hurt, you bastard,” I breathed, my face still flushed.

“Bitch, you were moaning earlier. I know you liked it, so don’t even try to play the victim here.” He popped the cap off the beer bottle and took a sip.

“Mr. Ambrose, drinking on school property?” I pivoted around, held up my hands and shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe you weren’t as good as I thought you were.”

His arms suddenly wrapped around my body from behind, one hand holding the bottle up to my neck, the other hand slipping between my legs. “You know just how fucking good I am,” he growled into my ear. I smiled, knowing that he had taken my bait. I moaned happily as he bit my neck and rubbed his fingers over my pussy. I was enjoying myself so much that I didn’t realize that he had pulled me down onto the floor until I was lying on my back with him straddling my knees.

He grabbed my nylons around my waist and pulled them off, balling them up and throwing them off into some dark corner of the room. “Those were just going to get in the way of what I want.”

“And what is it that you want, Mr. Ambrose?” I asked, my eyebrow arched in a teasing fashion.

He laid his body on top of mine and slowly slid a hand up my thigh. “The same fucking thing that you want.” He pressed his mouth against my own, his tongue sliding along my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and flicked the tip of my tongue against his. His hand reached the top of my leg and squeezed my ass roughly, reigniting the soreness I felt from the spanking. I gasped and dug my nails into his back, raking them up to his shoulders, and hopefully leaving some marks. I know he is leaving marks on me, and hey, fair is fair, right?’

The beer bottle was still in his other hand. He ran the bottom of it up the side of my body. The condensation felt cool against my warm skin. I grasped his free hand in mine and placed it between my legs. “I need you in here.”

He slipped two of his fingers into my pussy and curled them like he was beckoning. His movements released a moan from my mouth. He clicked his tongue at me. “Miss Lana, you are soaking. You were having impure thoughts about me, weren’t you? Fantasizing about a student, what a naughty teacher you are.”

“You won’t tell the principal on me, will you, Mr. Ambrose?”

“Only if you give me everything I want.”

“And if I don’t?”

“If you don’t, I’ll just take it from you.” He brought his mouth down to a button on my shirt as he spoke and tugged on it with his teeth. “You feel awfully overdressed here. I think I need to change that.” He placed his open beer on the floor and removed his fingers from inside of me. My chest heaved up and down as his hands moved up to the top of my button up shirt. It was embarrassing that something as simple as unbuttoning my shirt was making me so excited.

But he didn’t unbutton my shirt. He gripped the cloth on both sides and violently yanked it apart, popping the buttons off and ruining my new shirt. I didn’t give a shit, though. It was definitely worth the money loss. His hands ran over my bra as he spread the shirt open. I shuddered at his rough touch. He smiled at the reaction he was pulling out of me. He stared at me for a moment. He had that look in his eyes that he gets when he’s thinking of something depraved to do. I fucking loved that look.

He grabbed his beer and took a swig. He then leaned down and kissed me, pushing the beer into my own mouth. I started choking a bit as the beer went down the wrong pipe. I hadn’t expected it at all. He grabbed my hair and lifted my head up as I coughed, trying to get my breath back. He brought the mouth of the bottle to my lips and tipped it up. I opened my mouth and quickly took a sip, holding it in my mouth as well. I just had a feeling that it’s what he wanted me to do. He brought his lips down to mine and slid his tongue into my mouth, swirling into the cool liquid. His free hand massaged my breast as he sucked the beer out of my mouth and swallowed.

He let go of my hair and pushed my head back to the floor with a thud. I groaned as my head hit, but didn’t have time to think about the pain in the back of my head because he suddenly took his bottle of beer and poured it over my chest, soaking my black lace bra in the process. I shrieked from the shock of the liquid coating my front. He leaned down to bury his face in my chest, licking and sucking the alcohol from my skin. He rubbed his hands up and down my torso, spreading the liquid onto my stomach. They moved up to my bra and quickly unhooked the front latch. He must’ve noticed that I was wearing a frontsy earlier. He pushed the cups aside, releasing my tits from their padded cell. The addition of small bites into my skin caused my moans to become louder and more frequent. He was working frantically, making sure that as few drops of beer as possible were wasted.

I closed my fist in his hair, tugging it ever so slightly. Not enough to pull his mouth away, I’m not insane, but enough to hopefully encourage him to get a little rougher. It apparently worked since he started to bite harder and pulled on my nipples with his teeth. I arched my upper back, pushing my chest further towards him.

He pushed my legs up so that the heels of my shoes were digging into his lower back. I was eagerly waiting for the sound of a condom opening. Where he would’ve got it from, I’m not sure. This man works in mysterious ways. I was open and exposed and waiting for something hard to slip in between my legs. I got my wish, but not at all what I was expecting.

He had taken the empty bottle and rubbed it along my slick entrance, the remnants of beer mixing with my wetness. He pressed the long neck into me and I gripped even tighter at his hair. He began to thrust the bottle in and out of my wet pussy and it was an odd sensation. Not bad, just not something that I had ever felt before. The thought of what he was doing felt so taboo to me that I couldn’t help but get off on it. “Faster,” I moaned, as he complied and rammed it in with a quicker pace. After a moment, he pulled the bottle out and flung it behind him, where it landed with a thud and rolled across the room.

“I can’t wait any longer. I need to fuck you,” he moaned as he reached under my bed for my toy box. He must have gone snooping under there while I was out and realized that I had a stash of condoms in there. He tore it open with his teeth, slipped it on, and then plunged his cock into my pussy before I could get a word in. The teasing and the waiting from earlier had clearly gotten to him as he furiously thrust into me to the point of it almost hurting. Almost, but not quite.

I lifted my hips up to change the angle of his thrusts. This caused my heels to dig deeper into his sides and he growled at me. “Did I anger the tiger, huh? What are you going to do about it, Mr. Ambrose?” The condescending tone in my voice definitely fueled him and he made me pay for it, much to my delight. My sunk his teeth into my neck and dug his fingers into my shoulder, firmly holding me down as he thrust even harder and faster. I have no clue how he did it. Probably from all the physical training he gets as a wrestler and the fact that I think he may be half god.

His teeth were sharp and his jaw was strong as his pulled on the skin of my neck and collarbone. The seductive mix of pleasure and pain made me feel lightheaded as that orgasmic tension built between my legs and burst out of me as I threw my head back and loudly moaned his name. He brought his mouth up to my ear and flicked the lobe with his tongue. “Fuck, I love the sound of you cumming.” The raspy sound of his voice sent some aftershocks through my body.

I gasped, trying to catch my breath. “If you love it…so much…then why don’t you…show me?” He pulled on my hair, tilting my head up toward him and I was taken by surprise when he kissed me, shoving his tongue violently into my mouth and moaning low and deep as he reached his own orgasm.

After his last few deep thrusts, he pulled out of me and got up to throw away the condom. I laid there on the floor, panting, used and feeling immensely dirty. It was freaking fantastic. He came back over and stood over me, staring down at the result of his work. That familiar arrogant smirk was plastered all over him, but I wasn’t going to call him out on it. If I did, he’d smell my lie a hundred miles away. He reached his hand out and I brought mine up to grab his. He helped me up off the floor and I staggered into the bathroom to clean up.

When I came back out of the bathroom to grab a clean shirt to wear, he was sitting on my bed with his back against the headboard, cigarette glowing in his right hand. “Don’t you have to get going to the next town?” I asked.

“Nah, I got some time,” he replied as he leaned forward to glance at the clock on the nightstand. “Besides, I told the guys to wait for me, so they should still be downstairs. I figure your friend wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah, he definitely enjoys himself when you guys come to town. Knowing him, he probably closed up, but let them stay a little longer so he can listen to their stories.” I crawled onto my bed and lied down on my back next to him.

“Weren’t you on your back enough tonight?”

“Fuck you, asshole,” I said through laughter. He smiled as he exhaled the smoke. I pulled the covers up over me and took a risk by resting my head against his thigh. He looked down at me for a moment and it felt like he was silently debating about whether or not he should let this mild act of intimacy slide. He raised his head and took a drag on his cigarette. I felt his free hand rest on my shoulder, accepting my variation of post-coital cuddling. It felt odd, but it was very comforting.

“Hey,” he spoke up, startling me from my half-asleep stupor. I looked up at him with hazy eyes; he looked down at me with ones that were wide awake. “If you have tomorrow night off, it would be a bit of a drive, but we have a show about 4 hours west of here. If you want, you could hang out with us after the show.”

“I’m not going to get in the way of your other lady friends, am I? I don’t want to shoo away all of the bees from your honey.”

“Nah, don’t sweat that. I’ll be fine, trust me.” He sent a wink down my way. “I kinda like being around you and I think you’d get along with the guys, so, you know, it might be cool. It’s up to you.”

I reached my hand up and lazily tapped his face. “Do you really think I’m going to pass up an invitation to eat and drink with a bunch of hot guys? Not in your fucking life.” I paused for a beat and then grinned wickedly, adding, “Tiger.”

He looked at me with a look that said seriously? but then smiled and stuck his tongue out. “Well alright then. I can text you where to meet us. Wear something slutty.” I snorted in response to his request and shut my eyes, letting relaxation take over me.

* * *

I woke up in a dream-like state a while later. I didn’t say anything or move, but I was vaguely aware of my surroundings. Jon was still sitting next to me. His cigarette had been put out and he was stroking my hair slowly for a moment before he groaned and carefully climbed out of bed. As he got dressed, I heard him softly mumbling to himself, “Don’t get attached. Just don’t, you fucking idiot. It’s not worth it.” He walked over to the door and opened it to leave, pausing in the doorway for a moment before stepping out and shutting the door.

I didn’t remember any of it in the morning.

 


	7. A Night Out with the Boys

“Wear something slutty, he says. I can’t tell if he was joking or serious,” I said aloud. I had been standing in front of my closet, staring at my clothes, trying to figure out what would count as slutty. I’ve never been a clotheshorse, preferring to hang around in t-shirts and jeans all day. I had a few special occasion outfits, but it’s not like I had miniskirts that ride so high that my ass would hang out or tube tops or sweatpants that say Juicy on the back. I know we really didn’t know each other that well, but in the three times we’ve hung out together, you’d think he’d have noticed that I dress like a slacker. Just like him.

“Fuck it, I’ll just wear this stuff and he’ll have to deal, the stupid asshole.” I decided that I’d wear the only pair of tight fitting jeans that I owned and a clingy tank top thing that I only wore around the apartment in the summer. I figured if I wore a push up bra with it, he should be happy enough with my slut rating.

I got changed and checked my phone. I still had a bit of time before I needed to leave. Jon had texted me that afternoon with the name of the arena and told me to meet them there around midnight. I threw on a light jacket and went downstairs for my traditional harassing of the David.

“Good lord, someone is getting some serious ass tonight.” David barely allowed me to walk from the door to the bar before he spoke.

“What do you mean?” I asked, blushing.

“Do you realize how you look right now?” he asked.

“Why? Is it bad? Should I go change?” I began to panic. The cool and unflappable demeanor I had upstairs had been replaced by the frantic and worried demeanor of a 14 year old girl who just sent a note to her crush asking him Do you like me? Circle yes or no. I didn’t like that little bitch. She had no right to be in my head, but I apparently couldn’t help myself.

David shook his head slowly while staring at me with wide eyes. I followed his line of sight down and noticed he was staring at my chest. Just like that, I felt confident again. “So it’s good, right? Do you think it’s slutty enough?”

David snapped out of his trance and laughed at me. “Why do you suddenly want to be slutty? You judge any slutty looking chicks that come into this bar. Hell, you even judge the ones who don’t look slutty, saying that they must be sluts because they’re with a guy or something. I hope you’re judging yourself right now.”

“I was invited to go hang out with the wrestling boys tonight after their show. It was requested that I wear something slutty.”

David narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t think…they’re going to gangbang you, are they?”

“What?! No! Why would you ask that? I mean…” My voice drifted off.

David eyes me suspiciously, laughing quietly. He knew where my brain was at. “You mean…what?”

“I…uh…wouldn’t mind if they wanted to…”

“And there it is. You dirty whore.” He winked and shook his head at me. “At least you’re not locked upstairs eating ice cream and watching TV all the time. Now you’re practically making amateur porn, you minx.”

“Come on, I’m not that bad! Yet.” I grinned and sent his wink back at him.

“Hey bartender, hurry it up! I’m getting sober over here!” We both turned to look at the patron who called out to Dave and nodded. I have him a hug and bid him farewell.

As I walked away, he called out one last thing to me. “Drink lots of coffee on your drive! You’ll need it if you want to try to keep up with those dudes!”

* * *

The drive was long, but I didn’t mind. I had the radio playing to help pass the time as I sipped the coffee I ended up buying on Dave’s recommendation. I definitely didn’t want to fall asleep early and miss out on some fun. How lucky and bizarre was it that I was going to go hang out with the guys I watched on TV? This was nuts.

The radio helped get me revved up for the evening, but there was one problem. Every song that seemed to come on was about sex. No matter which station I changed it to. No matter which genre of music, every song was about fucking, in one way or another. Maybe it was just my pervy brain, I don’t know, but I felt that it was very dangerous for me to go walking into that group of men while in this state of mind. Not because I felt that they were going to take advantage of me, but because I was afraid that I would try to take advantage of them, or if I had enough self-control, simply implode in a burst of fangirl lust.

I didn’t quite know what to expect. Were there going to be any other females there? Well, that was a silly question because women flocked after these guys wherever they went. How many of the wrestlers were going to be wherever we were headed? Was it going to just be me, Jon, and his two stablemates? That didn’t sound so bad. I wanted to talk with them more after their teasing the previous night and I was fairly certain that I could fake being a respectable adult around them, rather than unleashing my inner teenager. Seriously, she sucks.

My thoughts then went to what Dave had said. The Shield. Me. Gangbang. Fuck! I can’t drive under these conditions! I turned off the radio and tried my damnedest to focus on getting to this arena safely. I still had about an hour to go and my brain was already steaming with naughty, wicked thoughts. I had to make sure Jon didn’t know about them or I wouldn’t hear the end of it tonight.

* * *

I finally pulled into the arena parking lot a few minutes after midnight. I drove around to the back, like the text had instructed me to. I wasn’t sure if they would come looking for me or not, so I decided that it would be better to wait outside near the back entrance so that I didn’t miss them when they came out. As I moved closer to the back entrance, I noticed a group of girls loitering off to the side in the shadows of the building. They were talking and giggling rather loudly. Dumb bitches.

I got as close as I dared to the arena doors and saw two security guards still standing post. They noticed me and I waved to them, just to be friendly. I might as well get on their good side if we might be standing out here for a while. “Hey!” one of them said to me. “You’re too close. Go stand over there with the other women.” He pointed over to the group of shrieking harpies.

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m just waiting for…”

“Back away, now!” Under his breath, I could hear him mumble, “Fucking groupie rats.”

“No sir, I’m not a groupie, I’m here with…” The guard was ignoring me by this point. “…the Shield.” I sighed, defeated. I wasn’t about to go stand with those women when I could go sit in my car, but it got me thinking. Was I just as bad as them? I was sleeping with a wrestler whenever he was in my town and I honestly felt as giggly obnoxious as they were, I just was able to hide it better around strangers. I returned to my car, worrying about this thought. I hopped up onto the hood of the car and lied back instead of sitting inside. The cool night air was exactly what I needed to cool off my engines that had been so revved up on the drive and for some reason, I thought more clearly when I was in a reclined position.

I thought of Jon as a friend and I thought that he had felt the same way, but now I was starting to doubt that. I know that I wasn’t the only girl he spent time with on the road, but I really had thought that I was special in some way. Was I just another rat to him? I took a deep breath and released a long sigh. It felt good.

The minutes continued to pass by without any sign of anyone leaving and I started to get worried. I couldn’t have missed them, right? I mean, the guards and the annoying women were still there. Why would they be here if there was no one to wait for? I decided to trust that Jon would shoot me a text when he left and I closed my eyes for a while.

I eventually heard the large metal doors of the arena squeak open. The high pitched shrieks mixed with the sounds of heavy footsteps and wheeled luggage bags. Good, they were finally leaving. I wasn’t about to try to look for them in the mass of people, since it sounded like the entire roster and crew were all leaving at the same time. I continued to lie there, waiting for my phone to vibrate any second.

“Damn, you couldn’t wait till later? You wanted me to fuck you on the hood of your car right here in public?” I opened my eyes to see Jon’s cocky smirk looking down at me from above. Before I could sit up, he had joined me on the hood, straddling my hips, his hands on either side of my head. He started to lean in slowly toward me, like he was waiting to see how far I would let him go with this. Thankfully he didn’t get to learn that I would have let him take me here, outside, in front of his friends and coworkers because Seth called out to him, making him snap right up and jump off of the car.

“Hey man, put your dick away till later! We’re starving over here! Come on and put your bags in the back!”

I slid off of the hood and got into the front seat of my car. I figured I would follow them to where they had intended to hang out this evening. I watched as the boys climbed into their car, but then Jon stopped for a brief moment and got back out. He closed the door and ran over to my car, hopping in next to me. “Hey,” he said as he raised an eyebrow. That simply gesture sent a rush of butterflies through my stomach.

I followed closely behind the rental. Jon had mentioned that it wasn’t very long to the restaurant, maybe about ten minutes. A few minutes into the drive, Jon leaned over and started to kiss my neck. I moaned softly, forcing myself to keep my eyes open and my brain focused on the road. "Please don't. Not while I'm driving," I said quietly. My heart wasn’t fully behind those words.

He pulled his mouth away from my neck to whisper into my ear. "You know how difficult it was to not get a hard on while I was wrestling tonight? All I could think of was what I got to do to you yesterday…” He paused to slowly trail his tongue up the edge of my ear. “…and what I get to do to you tonight.” I felt that familiar warm sensation of arousal rise between my legs, but I still had something on my mind from before. He continued to nip at my neck when I decided to pull over to the side of the road and ask the question that had been burning inside of me.

“Am I a rat?” I asked, putting the car in park while the engine kept running.

He snapped his head back quickly, a look of curiosity covering his face. “That’s what you say why I’m making my move on you?” I quickly glanced over at him to try to convey the seriousness of my question. “Why are you asking? Why now?”

“Well, when I arrived at the arena I was going to go wait near the door. Not at the door, just near it, and the guards yelled at me and told me to go stand with the group of women hovering on the side. Then one of them said ‘fucking groupie rats’ under his breath and it made me start to wonder if I was one. They clearly assumed I was.”

He leaned back in the passenger seat and sighed. “Look. That term is sometimes thrown around more often than it should be. There are lots of wrestling groupies, so it’s warranted, but many times people will label the wife or girlfriend of a wrestler a rat just because they’re jealous, whether the chick is one or not.”

“So where does that leave me? I’m not a girlfriend or a wife. I’m a chick who fucks a wrestler.”

“Did you get trained as a wrestler just to get closer to the guys? Do you linger around the arenas or hotels we’re staying at in order to try to get one of us to sleep with you? Did you not fucking hate my guts the night you met me, partly because I was a wrestler?”

I gave a halfhearted smile. “No. I guess not.” I paused. “So what am I?”

Jon turned his head and looked out the window. “Do you really need to put a label on it?”

“Not really, I suppose. I guess my judging nature and pretentiousness wants me to feel like I stand out from the other women you sleep with on the road. Like I’m not just Skank #23 on some ranked Skank List.” That last comment elicited a laugh from him. “I’ve been considering myself a friend with benefits kind of thing since I really did enjoy chatting with you over the past few months.”

He was silent for a time before he spoke up again. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” He looked at me and smiled. I reciprocated and nodded my head.

I put the car back in drive and Jon helped guide me the rest of the way there. I pulled into a Korean barbeque restaurant and parked. I’ve never eaten at one before, but Jon insisted that it was delicious.

We entered the restaurant and it was already filled with a good amount of the roster and crew, as well as the normal late crowd. It was quite the madhouse in there. I hope they leave a good tip for the entire restaurant crew! Seth and Roman waved at us from a dimly lit booth in the corner. I sat down and ended up sandwiched between Jon and Seth. A girl could get used to this.

“Hey guys, this is Lana. Lana, this is Seth and Roman,” Jon explained, trying to be polite.

“Hello gentleman, it’s a pleasure. How long has it been?” I said with a little bit of sarcasm, extending my hand forward to shake theirs.

“Hello, Miss Lana. It’s been far too long. We see you made good on your promise of making him a man,” Seth said as he, Roman, and I all laughed, leaving Jon out of the joke.

“Wait, what? How do you guys know each other?”

“We chatted with her a bit at the bar last night. We had a great time making fun of you,” replied Roman, smiling.

“Ha ha ha, well if you’re all such good friends now, why don’t you tell them what you texted me months ago. You remember, your first impressions of them when you watched Raw that night?”

I turned and looked at him with a slight look of horror on my face. “Really man? I don’t wanna play…” I tried wriggling down in my seat to slip out from under the table, but both Jon and Seth pulled me back up. “This is hell.”

“Oh, do you listen to them?” asked Seth.

“Wait…what?” I asked.

He laughed and shrugged it off. “Nothing, nothing. So what about these texts?”

The blood rushed to my face and I started to sweat a little. It was one thing to write those thoughts to Jon while I was horny and flirtatious, but to say them out loud to the guys they were about, especially while I was trapped in a booth with them? I buried my head in my hands and groaned.

“Okay,” I said as I brought my head back and up looked straight forward. I didn’t dare look at them while I said this. “For Roman…um…I said that he was a big dude and he had a nice arm tattoo and for Seth…” Jon flicked my ear. “Ow! Hey!”

“I think you’re forgetting some important info there, sunshine.”

“I hate you.”

“You love it, bitch. Now answer.”

I sighed. “So I mentioned that I wondered if he had any other tattoos hidden anywhere,” Roman laughed at that comment, “and if he was…uh…big all over.” My red cheeks burned so much that I could swear I was lighting up the corner we were in.

“Hmm…interesting,” said Roman as he rubbed his chin.

Seth was smiling like a little kid, for some reason. He seemed way too excited about this. “Do me now!”

“Uh, so for you, Seth, I said that I liked your hair and wondered if the two-toned thing was just on your head or if…ugh, if your fucking pubic hair was two toned, too.” I quickly wiggled under the table and popped out the other side. None of them tried to stop me because they were all laughing too hard. I needed a drink right now to try to forget this.

I slid up to the bar and ordered a Sex on the Beach. Yeah, I was going to have a fruity bullshit drink because they’re delicious and they got me where I needed to go very quickly. I paid for it and began to suck it down. It tasted so damn good.

After a moment, Jon appeared at my side. “Damn, slow down girl.”

“No, I need to get drunk so I can forget that you’re a dick.”

“Would it make you feel better if I told you that the guys think you’re funny and said they liked you? They said they liked your boldness.”

“I don’t know how bold I am. It’s easy when I’m alone in a dark room texting in silence.” I drank down the rest of the glass. “But I’ll have to thank them for being nice.”

I paused and put my hands on the bar as I felt the alcohol start to hit me. I was still clearheaded enough, but I definitely felt more relaxed, which was a good thing when I was around such beautiful men. Gah. Get it together, Lana! I shook my head and try to get my head back straight when I noticed that Jon had been silent for a while and was just staring at me like a creeper.

“What is it?” I asked.

“So is that what you call slutty?”

“Dude, this is the sluttiest thing I have!”

“What about that outfit from last night? That was kinda slutty.”

“Fuck you, you ruined the shirt and the skirt…dammit, I should’ve worn that.”

He sighed. “Alright, well I know how to remedy this.” He pulled that familiar switchblade from his jeans and flicked it open. My eyes widened and I looked around me, wondering if anyone in the restaurant was even paying attention to the fact that this weirdo had a knife in his hands. He sucked on the tip of his thumb and then held it out in front of him, eyeing it and me like he was some artist. He then grabbed the neckline of my tank and cut a slit down the front.. He closed the blade and returned it to his pocket before opening the slit up so that it framed my breasts. I felt a bit self-conscious now that my cleavage looked like it was being served on a platter. He put his thumb back in front of him and closed one eye. “Yeah, that’ll do,” he said, grinning.

I asked the bartender for another drink, same order, and once I had it in my hands, Jon escorted me back to the booth. The food had arrived and the table was completely covered with plates of meat and vegetables. The boys had already begun cooking some up on the grill built into the table. My now slightly impaired brain summed up the sight in the simplest way possible.

"That's a lot of meat."

Seth and Roman looked up when they heard me speak and they both had quizzical looks on their faces.

"Hey Lana, I get the feeling that something happened to you while you were gone," Roman commented as he and Seth stared at me.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Talk to this asshole." I pointed my finger behind me.

"Yeah, the titty master strikes again!" He threw his fists up in the air and ran a lap around me while I facepalmed.

Seth and Roman couldn't help but laugh at the childishness of the whole situation. "Is it too late to apologize for this goofball?" asked Roman as we sat back down.

"Well I suppose it's my fault for continuing to associate with him. All I can say is that he'd better make it up to me later."

I felt Jon's hand slide up my inner thigh and stop between my legs. He slowly rubbed a long finger along the inseam of my jeans, and even though his touch was muffled by the thickness of the denim, I still found myself getting aroused. I bit my lower lip hard to make sure I didn’t accidentally moan in public. I took his gesture as a yes response to my comment.

We all dug in to the food. It was really good. Not one to pass on delicious food, I'd like to think I held my own against the boys. There was a moment of tension between the four of us when it came down to the last piece of steak. I conceded and let them fight it out while I ran to the bathroom.

I didn't actually have to go, but I had thought of a response to Jon's gesture earlier. I took off my pants, stepped out of my panties, and got dressed again. I balled up the panties and stuffed then into my pocket. I took a look in the mirror before I left. He wants slutty, fine. I was going to find a way to give him slutty.

When I came back out, the last piece was gone and the boys were casually talking. It made me really happy to see how comfortable and close they were with each other. I slid back into my spot and with my hand under the table, pulled the panties from my pocket and pushed them into Jon's hand, hoping to whatever deity would listen that he wouldn't bring them above the table for all to see. He looked down at his hand for a moment, then a smile crept across his face and he gave a small laugh.

"What's so funny, dude?" Seth asked.

"Nah, nothing important, man. Just thinking of something funny I heard the other day," Jon responded and he put the panties in his own pocket. I noticed that he put the hand that had been holding them up to his mouth, licked his fingers, and glanced over at me. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I can taste you.” It took every ounce of focus for me to not mount him right there.

The night continued on through a couple rounds of beer for the boys while I continued to nurse on cocktails. I finished up my third one of the evening when I realized that Jon had been staring at me. I turned and looked at him. "Dude, what the fuck are you looking at me for?" My moderate state of inebriation made me spectacularly charming.

He laughed it off and gently stroked my head. What a sweetie. "You have a lot of gray hairs on the top of your head, old lady." What an asshole.

"Yeah fuck you, too. I'm what, a few months older than you? Old lady. You're a bitch."

"Months, years, whatever. You're still going grey." He had a playful smirk in his face.

I returned his smirk and pushed back the hair out of his eyes with my hand. "At least I still have all of my hair, Tiger."

Roman and Seth perked up. "Tiger?" They tried so hard to say the word without laughing.

"Fuck you guys," answered Jon.

"Oh yeah, that's my new sexy nickname for him. Right, Tiger?"

"Fuck you, too. My hair is awesome. You all suck. I'm going for a smoke!" The three of us remaining laughed as Jon stomped away.

Once he had left, I turned to Seth. "So is Seth your real name or is it just your work name?"

"It's my work name. My real name is Tyler." He sent a wink towards Roman and they both laughed.

"Ahh, well alright then, Seth it is," I said smirking back at him. I wonder if he was a cheeky bastard before or whether Jon had rubbed off on him a bit.

"You know, I like you two together," Seth said suddenly.

“Well, we’re not really together, if you mean…”

“Yes, I know you guys just hang out when we’re around and Dean’s idea of hanging out is having lots of sex. We have to hear about it all the time. It doesn’t really make things easier for Roman and me since we’re away from our girls for so long. Let’s just say there’s a lot of phone sex on the road.” I giggled quietly, trying to be as polite as possible. “But you’re different from the usual skanks he brings around.”

I did a spit take with the sip of beer I stole from Jon’s bottle. “Th-thank you?”

“We’re not trying to call you a skank. That was a bad choice of words,” Roman chimed in. “But Dean is known to hook up with a very certain type of woman and it’s usually not one like you. As in, despite the alterations he made to your shirt, you are currently wearing more clothing than the girls we’re used to seeing with him.”

“Oh Christ,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, they are very hot, but being around them gets old quickly and I sometimes fear for the safety of his groin. How he hasn’t caught anything…” Roman drifted off.

Seth put his hand on my shoulder. “You are a refreshing change of pace, my dear. For us.”

“Well I’m glad that he enjoys ‘hanging out’ with me enough to keep in contact. I really do have fun texting with him.”

“You do realize that he doesn’t really text with any of the other chicks on his skank roster. Only a quick text asking to meet up after a show,” mentioned Seth. I stared at him with a perplexed look. He took a sip of his own beer, and then replied, “Take that as you will.”

“I, uh, need another drink.” I scooted out and walked over to the bar to sort my thoughts. Did the boys know something I didn’t? Was that Seth’s way of saying that Jon maybe had a thing for me? Like more than just occasional sex? Should I cut things off? Should I bring it up to him? Dammit, shut the fuck up, teenage drama queen bitch! You have no right mucking my brain up with this bullshit while I’m drunk!

I paid for my fresh drink and began to suck it down. Thankfully, a new steady stream of booze got that bitch quiet for the time being. I glanced over to the restaurant’s outside patio and saw Jon still out there, dragging away at his cigarette. It took me a moment to realize that he wasn’t alone. Some stupid bimbo was standing with him, twirling her hair with her finger like a fucking idiot. Her free hand was rubbing his abs and she was giggling like a dumb slut. Ugh. If Dave were here, he would comment on how judgmental I looked, but my brain was in no shape to be calm and rational right now.

He looked like he was smiling at her, enjoying the attention. So this was the kind of chick he usually brought out to places like this? I guess I understood it. If I was him and I was feeling horny and lazy, I’d probably go with the easiest, sluttiest looking chick in a five meter radius, too. But damn, if he’s out with me right now, why would he be hitting on some other girl? Maybe tonight I’m just one of the boys. I grumbled some unintelligible curses under my breath.

I saw her reach into her purse and pull out what looked like a hotel room keycard, from where I was standing. She pointed down the street and handed it to him. To my horror, he took the card from her, smiled, and smacked her ass as she turned around to leave. She came back into the bar, clicking on those obnoxiously high heels, and passed me as she headed toward the exit. Whatever perfume she was wearing, she must have marinated in it before she went out that night. She smelled like a stripper.

I took one last big sip of my drink and jumped up and down a few times, shaking out my hands, trying to psych myself up for the show down. I started my hard walk toward the patio. When I reached him, I opened up my mouth to give Jon a piece of my mind when he took a drag from his cigarette, pulled me toward him with his free arm and laid a kiss on me, breathing the smoke into my lungs.

I pulled my mouth away and coughed, not used to smoke that wasn’t second hand. “What was that for? You’re just trying to distract…” He put a finger up to my mouth, silencing me, then took that same finger and held it up, gesturing for me to wait a moment.

He dropped the remaineder of his cigarette and put it out with his sneaker. He walked back to the bar and scanned the room. He tapped a random guy on the shoulder and leaned in close to talk to him. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the man nodded with a dopey grin on his face, Jon handed him the keycard, and they shook hands. Jon turned back around and returned to me, leaning on my shoulder.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“I told you the first night we met. I like to fuck with people.”

“So you just gave some random guy some random chick’s hotel key?”

“Bingo.”

“And that strange guy is going to go to that slut’s room and nail her?”

“Probably. That’s usually what you do to sluts.” That familiar cocky, yet delicious, smirk painted his face.

“But she’ll be expecting you.”

“Yup.”

“You’re the devil.”

He touched my chin with his index finger and turned my face toward his. “So, you wanna ditch this place and go make a deal with the devil?” Those electric eyes of his could convince me to do just about anything.

“Yes please,” I said, with no hesitation.

He wrapped his arm around my waste and led me back to the table. Seth and Roman looked like they were getting ready to leave themselves. We left our half of the money for the bill and tip, saying goodnight to the boys as we left. He guided me outside of the restaurant and back to my car.

The car had been parked in a dark spot of the lot, so it took me a moment to recognize it. I moved up to the driver’s door to unlock it, but before I could, I felt Jon press up hard against my back. His hands ran up my sides and I shivered at his touch.

“I could fuck you right now on the side of your car,” he said in a low tone.

“I…well…we should…we should really wait until we, you know, get back to your hotel…place…room.” I could barely get the right words out of my mouth, my drunk and horny brain distracted by the warmth of his body.

“Are you sure?” he purred directly into my ear.

“Y-yes? Yes.” I took a deep breath and let out the air slowly, trying to allow some blood to return to my brain.

“Alright, but you’d better hurry up then, cause I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”


	8. Then Suddenly...

I started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot. We drove in silence, other than the occasional direction from Jon. I kept my eyes on the road, but I could feel him staring at me the entire ride. I didn’t need to look at him to know what his eyes looked like right then. The hairs on my arms stood up, sensing the tension in the air between us. I so wanted to glance over at him and let that devilish look wash over me, but I knew that if I made eye contact with him right now, we’d never reach the hotel. I was determined to get to the hotel before I gave into him and my baser desires.

I focused my eyes as hard as I could on the road. I normally do not support drunk driving. How could I? It’s a horrible, dangerous thing and I work at a bar, so it’s my responsibility to make sure every patron has a safe ride home. But tonight, I don’t know. I don’t think getting a cab or riding with Seth and Roman would’ve been a good idea because knowing how I get around Jon, we’d end up fucking in the back seat. As hot as that sounded, it wasn’t very polite and I think the guys still considered me a slut, even though I was apparently a refreshingly different kind of slut to them. Riding their friend’s cock behind them while they’re driving probably wouldn’t help me with getting them to see me as more than one of Jon’s skankatrons.

It’s a short drive, I kept telling myself. If I go slow and careful, we should be fine. But if I allowed myself to get distracted by Jon and his super powers of sexiness, I just know I’d end up crashing into a lamppost.

Finally after what felt like an hour and not a five minute ride, he told me to pull into the large parking lot for the hotel. I shut the car off and sat there silently for a moment. I wasn’t quite sure what to say with him looking at me like that.

“So…do you want to wait until Seth and Roman show up with the rental so you can get your stuff?” I asked.

“Nope. I don’t want to wait any longer. Besides, I have everything I’d need in my wallet.”

“Okay then. Well, let’s go.”

“Are you okay? You sound nervous for some reason,” he asked.

“Not nervous, exactly. Just trying to contain my lust inside until we get to your room. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.” He laughed and placed his hand on my knee, rubbing it gently. “Don’t,” I said. “Even a small thing like that will cause me to explode. Let’s just hurry up and get inside!”

We climbed out of the car and headed around to the front of the building. He came up next to me and made the fatal error of slipping his arm around my hip.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up onto the grass on the side of the hotel and pushed him against the wall. My shaking hands fumbled with his belt, unable to get the buckle undone. I let out an annoyed grunt and he took over for me. I dropped down onto my knees as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper. I wrapped my fingers around the top of the jeans and his boxers and pulled them down so they sat right below his ass, his hard cock popping out to say hello. I let out a low growl and grabbed the base of it with my hand. I wrapped my mouth around the head of his cock and quickly sucked him in so that I could feel every inch filling my mouth. I slid my mouth up and down his length, letting my tongue taste him and explore. God, he tasted so good. I couldn’t help myself and I moaned around his dick.

“Well aren’t you a little cock slut?” he asked coyly, stroking my hair lightly before trying to grab the back of my head. I slapped his hand away before he could get a proper grip. “What was that for?”

I pulled my mouth off of him and wiped my lips. I quickly glanced up at him. “Shut up.”

I ran my tongue along the thick vein underneath his shaft as he looked down at me incredulously. “Did you seriously just tell me to shut up, bitch?”

I made circles with my tongue around his tip. “Yes, yes I did. No one can see us in the shadows over here, but just in case someone comes by, I don’t want them to hear us,” I said quietly. “So shut the fuck up, asshole, and just enjoy my work.” I could feel his thighs tense up after I said that last sentence, like he wasn’t too happy that I told him off. However, after I took his cock back into my mouth and began to suck again, I felt him relax.

He certainly took my suggestion to enjoy it because he awkwardly dug his hand into one of his back pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out and lit it, inhaling deeply on the first drag and letting out a long trail of smoke on the exhale. He was careful to not let any of the ashes fall down into my hair. He leaned deeper into the wall, pressing his shoulder blades into the concrete and letting his pelvis jut out. I took the opportunity to sink my nails into his firm ass that was now exposed.

I kneaded my fingers into the tight muscle as I moved my mouth up and down his delicious cock, increasing my speed. I heard him softly moan as he exhaled some smoke. He felt so relaxed and at ease now. I just hope that he wasn’t so relaxed that he’d fall asleep when he got upstairs and I’d have no choice but to turn around and go home. I used my hands to pull his hips into my face while I thrust my head forward. I could feel the tip of his dick rub against the back of my throat, but for some reason, I wasn’t gagging this time. Perhaps it was the combination of being drunk and in control of the blowjob.

“Oh fuck, Lana, your mouth feels so fucking good,” he quietly moaned. I let him off the hook for speaking because hearing him whisper those words made me so wet, I must’ve been soaking through my jeans by now. When his hips began to thrust, I pulled my mouth off and wrapped a fist around his cock, jerking him a few times before I tucked him back into his jeans, carefully zipped him up and stood up to face him. When he opened up his mouth to protest, I put a finger to his lips and breathed, “We need to get upstairs right now.”

Taking the urgency in my voice to heart, he picked me up over his shoulder and walked quickly to the hotel’s entrance. We walked into the lobby and Jon did the _what up?_ head nod to the overnight desk clerk. My lips were still a little red and raw from the blowjob outside, which was probably obvious to the clerk. I mouthed I’m sorry in his direction in an attempt to apologize for the ridiculous way we were barging in so late at night.

He stopped as we waited for the elevator, but wouldn’t put me down. “I can walk, you know!” I said as I laughed, kicking my legs back and forth to try to wriggle out of his grasp. It just made him hold me tighter.

The elevator finally opened in front of us and he stepped in, placing me down on the floor. As soon as the door closed behind us, he pushed me against the side of the lift with his body and he quickly opened my jeans and pulled them down to my ankles.  He lifted one of my legs out of the jeans, lowered his mouth down into my neck, and pushed two long fingers up into my soaking pussy. Since there was little time before we reached his floor, he thrust his fingers quickly and the feeling was so much, so fast that I had to bear hug him just to stay stable. I couldn’t stop the moans from coming out of my throat.

His mouth and hand felt so good that I didn’t notice when the elevator stopped for a moment and the door opened. A sleepy looking businessman stood there with a look on his face that seemed to be a blend of horror, confusion, and arousal. I opened my eyes and stared at him for a second before the door closed once again and my eyes shut with it.

When we finally reached his actual floor, he pulled his fingers out of me, showed me how slick his fingers were, and wiped them on my face. I didn’t care. I was just going to have to remember to smear his own jizz on his face sometime to make us even. I reached down to pull my jeans back on, but he put his hand on my chest to stop me.

“No no no, leave them,” he cooed. I didn’t have a chance to retort because he picked me up over his shoulder again, my jeans dangling from one leg and my ass and bare pussy exposed for anyone who might open their door to see what the commotion was all about to see. I moaned softly at the exhibitionist nature of it, although it was so late that I doubt anyone other than that poor businessman would end up seeing my goods that night.

We reached his door and he slipped his key card in and pushed the door open. He smacked my bare ass hard and his hand on my flesh made a loud crisp sound that echoed through the hallway. Thankfully, before anyone could possibly open up their doors, we were inside his room and the door was shut.

He threw me onto the bed and began to work on taking his clothes off. I kicked my leg several times, finally being able to get the jeans off completely. I began to remove my tank when he spoke up.

“No, leave that on, but take your bra off.” He threw his shirt to the ground, leaving him now completely naked. He grabbed a condom out of his wallet and quickly slipped it on his cock like a pro before practically jumping on top of me. He pinned my hands above my head and growled at me. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you scream my name and wake up everyone on this floor.”

“God, I hope so,” I moaned as he grabbed my legs under the knees, angling my hips, and rammed his throbbing cock inside of me. We both knew how close we already were, so I didn’t mind that he went straight to the fast, aggressive fucking instead of leading into it with some slow, deep thrusts. I felt my muscles clench down around his dick as he moved, that wonderful fire building under my skin. I scratched at the bed sheets, trying to find something to hold on to so that I didn’t go flying off the bed. I gave up and grabbed onto his strong back, feeling his muscles shifting underneath his flesh.

He buried his face in my breasts, grabbing a nipple between his teeth and suckling on it before tugging at it roughly. Right now I was really craving the rough treatment.  “Grab my throat…please,” I whimpered.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “You want it rough, huh?” I nodded as he wrapped his large, strong hand around my neck, squeezing with just enough pressure to hurt a little and make it harder to breathe. I slipped a hand down between our bodies and began to rub slow circles around my clit. The tingling between my legs continued to grow and build, spreading throughout my body.

The combination of Jon’s fast thrusts and my fingers finally brought my body to the point of no return. My pussy trembled around his cock and my body thrashed underneath his. His name loudly escaped from my throat.

“Fuck, Jon! I love you! I love you!”


	9. Chapter 9

_No._

Jon stared down at me, dumbfounded.

_No._

I looked up at him. My eyes were wide and unmoving; a look of horror and humiliation plastered on my face.

_No._

“Uh…what?”

_No._

“I…I…” I fumbled for words to no avail.

_No._

“This is…uh…” He pulled out of me and sat on the edge of the bed. I could see his dick starting to soften.  Knowing my luck, it would probably shrivel up and fall off.

_No._

I quickly rolled off the bed and stood up. I scurried over to where my bra had landed and picked it up. I struggled to put it back on as quickly as I could.

“You love me?”

“No.” Bra finally on, I moved over to my jeans, not worrying about looking through his jeans for my panties. I had to get out of here as fast as I could. “No.” I jumped into the jeans and hastily pulled them up around my waist. I zipped them up, but didn’t bother with the button right now. “No.” I slid my shoes on, thankful that I hadn’t chosen to wear sneakers tonight. I looked around frantically for my purse. Spotting it on the floor by the door, I rushed toward it, snatched it up and threw open the door. “No!”

As I turned in the doorway to shut the door behind me, our eyes locked for a split second. He looked…disappointed in me, and almost disgusted. I knew instantly that that look was going to haunt me for a long time.

The closed door now separating us, I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that I could see colors. I took a step back and raised my fist, wanting to punch the wall, but not wanting to cause any more problems than I already had, so I swung my fist hard through the air. I ran down the hallway to the elevator, silently begging that it would already be on this floor. Luckily for me, it was.

Walking briskly through the hotel lobby, I looked over at the overnight clerk whose eyes had perked up when he heard the ding of the elevator. He had a creepy grin on his face, like he was getting some sick enjoyment out of my walk of shame.  I averted my eyes from him and turned my fast walk into a run. “Have a nice night!” he called out as I pushed through the doors.

I continued my run to the car. I paused for a moment to catch my breath once I was seated and strapped in. For as tipsy as I was earlier, right now I felt stone cold sober and wide awake. Shock will do that to you, I suppose. It’s like my body said to my brain, “Shit girl, why’d you have to go and say something like that? Fine, we’ll bail you out of it this time”. I set my GPS up quickly and peeled out of the parking lot.

* * *

My phone vibrated several times during the long drive home. I didn’t answer any of them. I knew who it was and I didn’t really want to hear what he had to say. I mean, what could it have been? Nothing good, I was certain of it. I was already feeling shitty enough; I didn’t need to get yelled at for being a clingy little slut or whatever derogatory thing he could think up. I don’t know why I assumed that he’d be calling to insult me. He never did before, other than calling me bitch and I didn’t mind that so much. If what he had to say was important and he really wanted to say it, he’d leave a voice mail.

My mind began to wander. Would he tell Seth and Roman? Would they laugh? Would they be disappointed? They did say that they liked me well enough, but I’m not sure what they had expected out of me. I couldn’t get the image of the three of them standing around me, pointing and laughing, out of my head. It was a childish thought, but it really bothered me.

“I love you.” Ugh.

What was I even thinking? I wasn’t thinking at that moment during orgasm. It just came out. “I love you.” I seriously can’t believe those three words in that order came out of my mouth. What a perfect way to ruin a lovely night, Miss Lana. Christ. And the cherry on top of this shit sundae, Jon was left with blue balls after being pent up all night. Well, he’s probably fine. He probably has a few others in the area and called one of them up to help him wash the bad taste of me out of his mouth. Or maybe he hopped in the shower and jerked himself off, just to get that final release. The hot water running down his back. His large hand wrapped around his cock. His lips parting ever so slightly as he climaxes…

Wake up, you dumb slut! This is definitely not the time to be lamenting about the sex god you just left. You don’t deserve him anymore. Just get your dumb ass home and sleep this off so you can wake up cold and alone in bed, as you deserve to. I sighed and turned on the radio to fill my brain with something other than my own thoughts.

The calls stopped coming before I arrived home.

* * *

I didn’t work with Dave again until that Friday night. I suppose that was a good thing because it took me two whole days to get my face to look right again. I always thought my mother was being dumb when she would tell me not to make silly faces because they’d freeze like that, but it had felt like my face had actually frozen in that look of horror from Wednesday morning.

Although my face had gone back to normal, he could still sense that there was something wrong.

“Hey El, you’ve been awfully quiet all night. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Look sweetheart, I know when a chick says it’s nothing, it’s usually something, so don’t give me any of that bull.”

I sighed and refilled some beers before I answered. “Things didn’t go so well Tuesday night.” I paused for a moment and then corrected myself. “Or rather Tuesday night was fine and Wednesday morning was fucked up.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly, but I know you’re going to harass me until I tell you anyway. So I had a great time with the boys. Everything regarding that was fine. Then Jon and I get back to the hotel and things started getting pretty heated. That was all good.”

“So what’s the problem? And I’m going to guess that Jon is Ambrose?”

“Yeah, sorry. I forgot I never told you. I think it was because I was trying to keep it secret or something, but it doesn’t really matter now.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I yelled out that I loved him. During orgasm. Twice.”

“Really?” Dave laughed, his face lighting up in amusement. Son of a bitch, enjoying my humiliation.

I covered my face with my hands and groaned loudly. “Why why why? I went and I ruined a perfectly good thing! Hot, dirty sex with a cool dude and no stupid feelings getting in the way.”

“Well, do you love him?” he asked.

“NO! How could I when we’re just sex acquaintances?”

“Really, because the other day you were all about you two being friends with benefits, but now you’ve downgraded it to sex acquaintances?”

“At this point it’s been downgraded to a restraining order!”

“I doubt he’d go that far, El. You’re being hysterical. Also, I think you’re lying to me and to yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“You say you don’t love him and that it just came blurting out. That I believe. But I think that you do like him, like a high school girl with a bit of a crush.”

“I second that!” Larry yelled from down the bar.

“Shut up, Larry, no one asked you!” I yelled back. I let out a reluctant groan. “Maybe I do. Kinda…sorta…” I mumbled.

“Good girl, the first step is admitting you have a problem.” I slapped Dave in the arm and he laughed at me.

“But like I said, it doesn’t matter anymore because he gave me this sad, disgusted look and I ran away in shame and he tried calling a few times, but I didn’t answer them because I don’t want to hear his voice again because I think if I do I may start crying and you know how much I hate crying and now he hasn’t tried calling again so I kinda want him to call now and…” David wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug to stop me from rambling and allow me to breathe again.

“Woah, calm down there, girl. Yeesh, you do have it bad.” He pulled away from me and smiled. “You know, it’s kinda cute to see you like this. You were already married to Scott when I first met you, so I’ve never seen you in this girlie-girl smitten stage. It feels so wrong and I love it. Can I take a picture of you?”

“You’re an asshole,” I replied, but his smile and shining eyes made me feel a lot better.

Later on in the night, we put Smackdown on the bar TV. Ever since those college douches had got us to put it on months ago, it had become a bit of a bar tradition. I had converted some of the regulars into fans and we even started to get some new regulars who stopped by just because they heard that we showed it. It was pretty cool.

I whined a little bit when David turned it on because I really didn’t need a constant reminder of that night. The fact that tonight’s show was what they had taped before I hung out with them made it even worse. I reluctantly agreed to let them keep it on, but I warned them in advance that when The Shield’s music hit, I was going to make a mad dash to the back, so make sure to get out of my way.

I was doing well throughout most of the show, but sure enough, as those familiar words rang though that arena, I felt sick to my stomach and I moved as quickly as I could through the sea of people. I foolishly looked up at the TV before I made it to the back and I saw him. That black underarmor tightly clinging to his chest and that ridiculous slicked back hair. His hair looked a lot better loose and fluffy between my fingers. I clenched my fists and pushed through the door.

I felt so angry and I wasn’t sure why. Angry at myself, I suppose. Angry at him, too, for not trying to text me or something, but I couldn’t blame him. I ignored his calls, so why should he bother trying something else? I picked up one of the glasses from the wash and hurled it to the ground, taking enjoyment in watching it shatter. That made me feel a lot better.

I began sweeping up the shards of glass when Dave poked his head in. “Are you okay in here?”

“Yeah, I’m doing fine now. Kinda dropped a glass though.” I looked at him sheepishly and he understood.

“Well, that happens sometimes, right buddy? I’ll send you a text when their match is over, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks, man.” He left and I sighed deeply. I really didn’t hope every Friday was going to make me feel like this now.

* * *

It was a week since the incident and David and I were both working early that afternoon, for some reason. Why there needed to be two bartenders on duty at 2pm on a Wednesday, I have no clue, but there we were. I was feeling a bit better by now, but the fact that it was a Wednesday again had me grumbling a bit.

There was a bit of a late lunch crowd, so I was in the middle of filling up another round of beer for a large table when David tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey El, look at who it is,” he said as he pointed out the window. There he was, putting out his cigarette and about to open the door. I gasped and ducked behind the bar. “Really? That’s your strategy?” David asked.

“Shh! Pretend I’m not here!” I whispered loudly as I heard the door open and close. Looking up from my crouched position, I could see Dave roll his eyes at me.

“Hey, David, right?” I heard Jon ask.

“Yessir. What can I do for you today?”

“I’d like a Heineken. Please.” He cleared his throat and I heard him slide onto a stool.

“Were you thirsty and in the area or did you drive all this way just for a beer?”

“Nah, I had today and tomorrow off, so I just decided to grab a flight here, you know? I like the area. It’s kinda cool.”

“Just decided, huh? You here to see El?”

I heard him sigh. “Yeah, I guess so.” He guesses? I quietly grumbled to myself. That asshole has a way of getting under my skin. I looked up to see David smiling at him as he handed over the beer.

“Yeah, she told me about last week. That sucks, man.”

“Eh, whatever. She never answered any of my phone calls anyway.”

“What would you have said to her?”

“That I’m sorry things didn’t work out and it was a shame that she had to go and ruin our little arrangement, but that I’m going to miss her mouth and her pussy and that I still like her ass.” He took a long sip from the beer.

David laughed at his comment. “Yeah, her ass is kinda cute. But don’t tell her I said that.” My face was glowing red by now.

“You don’t have to worry about that, man. We’ll probably never talk again.” He finished up his beer and put it back on the bar with a thud. “But you should tell her yourself, man. Maybe get in there while she’s vulnerable right now and have some fun yourself.” Wait, what?!

David laughed. “That’ll be a cold day in hell, my friend.” He cashed out Jon for the beer and then walked with him to the door. “Well, we’re having some nice weather this afternoon, so enjoy it and have a safe flight back.” Wait, was he leaving without even asking if I was working today or if I was upstairs? The nerve! Not that I’d have answered my door if I was home or wanted to talk to him right now, but…damn him! How arrogant is he?

“Hey asshole! You’re really going to leave without at least trying to talk to me?!” I stood up from behind the bar to yell at him as he left, only to be greeted by Jon’s cocky smile right in front of me. Dave had gone over to the door and opened it to lure me out. Fucker!

“Hey bitch,” he said as he raised his eyebrows, continuing to smile.

“Shit!” I covered my hands over my head and dropped to the floor again. I waited for a few seconds and then peered up between my arms. Jon was leaning over the bar, looking down at me.

“You wanna talk so bad, stand up and face me, sweetheart, I’m right here.” The condescension in his voice pissed me off.

I stood up again and slammed my hands on the bar. It was at this moment that I noticed the handful of bar patrons were all staring at me and Jon, clearly entertained by our performance. I stared into those evil eyes of his and huffed. “If we’re going to talk, it can’t be here. I’ve already created enough of a scene.”

“I’ll be fine working alone for a while, El, why don’t you guys go grab some take-out from across the street and talk upstairs in your apartment?” asked David.

“I don’t trust myself up there…” I quietly mumbled. Jon cocked his head to the side, eyeing me suspiciously. “Fine. Let’s go.”

* * *

I sat against my headboard with my knees pulled up to my chest and my head angled down. Jon sat in my desk chair on the other side of the room. I had asked him to sit far away because I was very uncomfortable being alone with him right now.

“Why so serious?” he asked. I lifted my head up and looked at him. “Since you obviously love me, I’d think you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off of me now that we’re alone.”

I snarled in response. “Stop joking, dick. This all makes me very uneasy.”

“You think it makes you uneasy? I get told ‘I love you’ hundreds, if not thousands of times a day, from fangirls, you know? But it’s a throwaway line.”

“Well, please consider mine throwaway as well. I said something foolish in the heat of the moment and I was an idiot and we never have to see each other again.”

He stood up, slowly walked over the corner of the bed opposite from me, and sat back down. “Are you sure it was a throwaway line?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes.

“Yes! How could I love you?”

“Ouch,” he said with a chuckle.

“You know what I mean! This is a silly fling! Just for fun! I was in love once and it ended up being a waste of my life. I refuse to ever let myself love again.”

“You sound like some girlie nighttime drama there, sunshine. You’re being overly dramatic.”

“And why should you even care whether I did love you or not? You don’t do relationships, remember? You get too bored easily with the same chick?”

He nodded. “I did say that. And it’s the truth. But you’re more like a bro with tits and a pussy than a chick, so…”

I threw my pillow at him as hard as I could and he let it hit him despite being able to deflect it easily. “So you came all the way out here to tell me that?”

He started to carefully scoot down the side of the bed, getting closer to me. “Nah, I came out here because I wanted to see you again. Dave just gave me the excuse. It was his idea to have me show up and put on that little skit to get you to talk to me again.” Of course it was Dave’s idea.

Jon put his finger on my chin, lifted up my head and leaned in like he was going to kiss me. Don’t give in, me, don’t give in!

He suddenly jolted his head back, keeping his eyes on me. “I like you, Lana,” he said loudly. “And from how you act around me, I’m pretty fucking sure you kinda like me, too.” He winked at me and I felt myself starting to get aroused. Quit it, vagina!

He let go of my face and leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. “So I have a bit of a proposition for you. You wanna try out an open relationship?”

I shifted around so that my legs were crossed. “What would that entail? I mean, how would it be different from what we were already doing?”

“Well, we’d have to set up some rules or something. Right now, we fuck when I’m in the area, but when I’m in other cities, I fuck other chicks, but I don’t tell you about it because why would I, you know?” He turned his body so that he faced me more directly. “How about this? We make plans for me to visit once a month. I should be able to manage that, at least. I’ll try to let you know my schedule as soon as I can. There may be times where we have to rearrange it, though, cause sometimes they’ll ask Seth, Roman, and I to do last minute signings and whatnot. We’re in, like, high demand.” He smiled and I let myself smile back a bit.

“I’m flexible. I’m a damn bartender, it’s not like I have a rigid schedule like you.” My face flushed slightly. “It’ll be nice to see you more,” I muttered, but he definitely heard me.

“Aww, you do like me,” he said in a mockingly girly tone.

“Stop being an asshole.”

“I can’t, baby, it’s in my blood.” Back to that cocky grin that I couldn’t get enough of. “So in between visits, we can still be with other people. Are you okay with full on sex or just oral stuff?”

“Well, I’m used to the knowledge that we’re not exclusive or something, so yeah, full on sex is fine.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m with someone, okay? And you do the same for me.”

“I doubt I’ll do anything with anyone else. I’ve tried a little bit of dating over the last few months and I’m the worst at it.”

“I want you to try. For me. The thought of you with another guy kinda gets me off.”

“You’ve actually thought about that before?” I felt a little flattered by that. “Okay then, I’ll try. But only for you, and I can’t promise that I’ll be successful.”

“Wear what you had on at dinner last week and I promise that you will get so fucking laid.”

“You’re such a charmer!” I said through laughter, which was interrupted by him moving forward so that his face was very close to mine.

“And the biggest difference from now?” He brought his lips up to mine like he was going in for a kiss, but stopped right before they touched. I could feel his hot breath and it was oddly comforting. He brushed his lips along my cheek as he moved his face to my ear. He knew how much I liked it when he whispered low in my ear and he was exploiting it right now. “I’ll call you my girlfriend.”

I let out a slow sigh. It had only been a week, but my body had been desperately craving the feeling of his breath on my skin. “That sounds…kinda nice. So you’re going to stop calling me a bitch or a slut?”

“Hell no, you’re still a bitch, you’re just my bitch now. And I like calling you a slut in bed. Or anywhere else we fuck.” He bit my ear, making me moan softly.

“I’m a little nervous about this. Getting into a relationship of any kind. I’m kinda excited, though. But what happens if you end up getting bored with me?”

“We’ll figure that out if it happens. I haven’t gotten bored yet, that’s gotta count for something, yeah? You just have to trust me, Lana.” He took my chin in his hand and turned my face towards his, leaning in for an uncharacteristically sweet and gentle kiss that made my worries slip away, at least for now.

 


	10. 28 Hours

_3:12pm_ _Wednesday_

“So…what do we do now?” Jon asked me as he pulled away from his gentle kiss.

“Well, I need to get back to work, so you can hang around here until your flight back. When do you have to be at the airport?” I asked.

“Tomorrow at 7pm.” He flashed me that charismatic grin.

“Really? That’s awesome! But what would you have done if I hadn’t agreed to try out this open relationship thing? Trolled the bars for a hot piece of ass?”

“Probably, but I didn’t even think about that, honestly. I just, uh, had a feeling you’d say yes.” That smile never left his face.

“You did, huh? You’re pretty sure of yourself, Mr. Ambrose.”

“Yeah, maybe. But come on, what chick wouldn’t want all of this for herself?” He rubbed his hand on his chest and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re terrible!” I smacked him on the forehead and returned his smile. “I guess I’m not really that hard to read.” I sat on the edge of the bed and began to put my sneakers back on so that I could head back downstairs to finish my shift. “I mean, I’ll definitely enjoy being able to see your dick more. I like him.” I sat back up before I tied the laces and look at him over my shoulder. “The rest of you, though…ehh.” I wobbled my hand to convey indifference. I turned back to finish dealing with my shoes when I felt him hook his arms underneath mine and he threw me back onto the bed. “Jon, I seriously have to get back to work!” I said laughing.

He rolled me over so that I was on my back and he sat straddled across my waist. The look on his face was not the playful one I had expected. His eyes looked angry and he had his arms crossed tightly together. I had to admit, it looked awfully sexy, but I was afraid of what he was thinking. Had he really taken me that seriously?

“You like my dick, huh? And the rest of me can just fuck off then?”

“I never said that!” He took his large hand and violently shoved my face to the side. I just stared at him, mouth agape, not sure what had come over him.

He quickly unzipped his jeans and pulled out his hard cock and just had it sit there in front of me while he returned to having his arms crossed. My eyes flicked back and forth between his crotch and his face, trying to get a read on the situation.

“You like it so much, there you go,” he said sharply.

“I…what do you want me to do with it?” He just continued to stare me down with those furious eyes. “Look Jon, this is fun and all, but I really need to get back to work.”

That's when he grabbed a fistful of my hair. He shifted himself forward so that he was now crouching over my chest and neck. He manipulated my head so that it was angled upward and he pressed the head of his cock to my lips. "Open," he said sternly. I followed his simple order more out of confusion than fear or arousal. He shoved his cock into my mouth. “Suck.”  I tightened my lips around him and did as he told. I wasn’t able to do much because he quickly began to thrust in and out. It was such an uncomfortable position and it made it difficult to breathe, but a little twisted part of my brain was screaming for him to keep going. It wanted more.

I gripped my hands onto his jean-clad ass, enjoying the feel of it for a brief moment before he smacked them away with his free hand. "No." He had taken full control of me during sex before, but he had never felt so militant in the past. Maybe it was because I hadn't been able to take a good full breath in a few minutes, but these single word orders were kinda getting me off. I moaned around him and he pulled himself out and let go of my head.

"More," I firmly begged, looking up into his eyes.

"Well this isn't fun anymore because you like it too much," he said, trying to stay serious, but failing as he broke into a smile.

"You are the biggest fucking asshole ever."

"You're gonna have to get used to me screwing with you if we're a thing now. You're now my fucktoy in more ways than one." He smiled arrogantly at me and ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

"That's nice, now get back in here." I grabbed his ass again and pulled it forward gently to encourage him. He grabbed my hair again and paused.

"I’ll give you more only if you say the magic words."

"Please, Jon?"

"Come on, you think I'd make it that easy? Tch, amateur."

"You're ridiculous." I sighed and thought for a moment. "Okay how about this? Please fuck my mouth again with your big sexy cock, oh Jon the Sex God."

His smile became even bigger. "Jon the Sex God, eh? I like that." He pushed his dick between my lips again and began to finish what he had started.

He didn't last much longer once he started again. After about a minute or two, he let out a string of curses, and I think my name might have been in there somewhere, too, as he shot down my throat.

I sat up and went back to putting my sneakers on again like nothing had ever happened. He pulled off his jeans so that he was just in his boxers and t-shirt and he collapsed in the bed in a heap. I smiled at his still body as I got ready to head back downstairs. I went to the bathroom to rearrange my hair and brush my teeth. I don't think David really wanted to smell Jon's cum on my breath. When I went back out to the bedroom, Jon was completely passed out. Poor baby, he probably hadn't slept since the day before. Maybe I'll bring him up a beer when my shift is over to wake him up.

Looking at his sleeping form as I left, I thought about how lucky a woman I was.

* * *

_3:49pm_

“I honestly didn’t expect you back tonight.”

David flashed me a smile and threw a cleaning towel at me as I walked in the door. I caught it and then tried to look cool by swinging it behind me and tossing it above my head, intending to catch it again, but I missed and it ended up landing on my head. I took a bow as Dave did a sarcastic slow clap.

“Would it be weird if I said I missed you during this last 90 minutes?” he asked.

“Nah, I know I’m your source of entertainment around here. Has it been busy?”

“Wednesday, post lunch? What do you think?”

“So you were fine on your own? I’m glad. I would’ve felt really guilty if you suddenly got slammed as soon as I had left.”

“Is it just me or are you purposely delaying telling me what happened up there?” Dave stared me down as I immediately decided that the windows needed some wiping. “Ellll. Get back over here and tell me, young lady!” I looked over my shoulder and he beckoned to me with his finger.

“Fine,” I said as I walked back over to him. “So we got these delicious subs from the deli across the street and-“

“El! I don’t care about your sandwich!” Dave tried to act angry, but his lip was quivering in an attempt to not laugh. “I convinced that weirdo to fly in to hash things out with you since you’d been so sullen since last week, so please tell me that you at least came to some conclusion.”

”He suggested that we try an open relationship.”

“Really? How did you respond?”

“I said yes. I mean, I’ve already dealt with the knowledge that he’s sticking it to other chicks, that I’m a notch on his proverbial bedpost. I guess I figured it was worth a shot, you know? I don’t want to stop seeing him and this means I get to see him more often, which is nice.”

“So is he, like, your boyfriend now, or something?”

“Yeah, I guess so. This is kind of a big step for me, as silly as it may sound.”

“It’s not silly. I totally get it. I hope things work out.” He paused to cash out a customer. “So what’s in it for you? I mean, he gets to continue to bang other girls while he’s away and you have to sit at home and be okay with it, or can you hook up with other dudes?”

“The latter. He actually encouraged me to do it, saying it got him off to think of me with another guy. I’m not so sure how I feel about that. I’m kinda flattered that he’s thought of me while he’s on the road, but I’m also terrified because how would I proposition a guy about that?” I asked.

“Hey, nice shoes. Want to fuck?”

“What?” David laughed at my startled reaction.

“El, trust me. You’ll be able to find some guys who would love to spend the night with you with no strings attached. If it’s something you want to do, you’ll be able to do it.”

“I’m not entirely sure if I want to, but I’m willing to give it a shot. For him.” We stood there together for a moment in silence.

“You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I think I really do.”

* * *

_8:13pm_

I snuck back into the apartment, beer in tow. The room was dark, but there was a little bit of light coming in from outside that outline Jon’s sleeping form. I smiled thinking about how angelic he looked when he was sleeping. It was such a bold different from the naughty little devil I knew. I shook my head and laughed quietly as I put the beer in the fridge and slipped into the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and let the water heat up before I stepped in. I let out an orgasmic sounding moan when the water made contact with my skin. A hot shower after work may be the greatest thing ever, maybe even better than sex. Right now, that was definitely how I felt. My muscles began to relax in the heat and I let out a sign. What a strange day. If someone had told me this morning that I would be in a relationship of some kind by the end of the night, I would’ve laughed right in his or her face. Life works in mysterious ways.

As I began to lather up my bath puff, I heard the door slowly creak open.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” I called out to no response. “You just looked so cute there asleep. I didn’t want to disturb you.” My words continued to be met with silence. “Jon?” I asked.

The shower curtain slowly moved aside and he stepped in with me, still wearing his t-shirt, but missing his boxers. We both stared down at his raging hard-on and then our eyes traveled up until they met each other. I opened up my mouth to speak, but he thrust out his hand and covered my mouth before I could utter a sound. He put a finger to his mouth, silently instructing me to stay quiet. His eyes were dark and serious.

He took the bath puff from out of my hands and motioned for me to turn around. I did so and placed my hands up on the shower wall. He rubbed the puff along my back, teasing me when it dipped down my lower back and slightly onto my ass. His arms then wrapped around me and his chest pressed into my back as he lathered up my front. One hand covered my breasts in suds while the other rubbed them in. My skin was slippery with the soap and his fingers would slide over my hardening nipples, whether he intended them to or not. I softly moaned at his surprisingly gentle touch.

I turned around and took in the sight of him. He was now completely soaked from the shower. His hair was glued to his forehead and his t-shirt was drenched and clinging to his body. He looked so damn good. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down to kiss him roughly. I could feel him smile through the kiss, clearly enjoying my reaction. I pulled away and turned around to face the wall again. Planting my forearms against the wall, I arched my back and thrust my hips out, and then glared at him over my shoulder. His eyebrow rose ever-so-slightly, acknowledging my request.

* * *

_8:40pm_

I lay on the bed, dried off, but still naked and feeling worn out. Jon came out of the bathroom, boxers back on and now sporting a dry t-shirt. He had a towel draped over his head and it made me smile. He looked like a fighter getting ready for a big match.

“So what was that all about?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” he nonchalantly responded.

I gestured to the bathroom. “That!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His face was covered in shadow by the towel, but I could still see that cheeky smiling peeking through.

“I mean what was getting into the shower with me half-clothed and not saying anything?”

“Was it bad?”

“Fuck no, but it was kinda weird. I’ve never had a guy do something like that. Scott never joined me in the shower.” My brow furrowed and I pursed my lips, rolling over onto my stomach and burying my face into a pillow. It’s not like it is a required thing in a relationship, but I was starting to realize that Scott had never been one to do playful things like Jon. Were there obvious signs early on and I had been blind to them? I felt Jon sit on the bed and place a hand on my back. Such a small gesture felt extremely soothing.

He sighed briefly. “Do you want to talk about Scott now? For real?”

“No.” My response came out short and grumpy.

“You do know that you’re going to have to eventually tell me about whatever went down. “

“Nope. I can take this to my grave, buddy.”

“I suck at relationships and even I know that whatever is going on in your head is probably going to fuck up whatever we have if you keep it to yourself. I’ve seen it happen to better people.”

I grunted in frustration. “I know, I know.” I turned my head to the side and looked into his eyes. “Just…let me tell you on my own terms, okay? I promise I’ll tell you when I’m ready. I’m just still waiting for my balls to drop.”

He chuckled slightly and gave me a small smile. “No problem.”

“Thanks, Tiger.”

He smacked my ass hard causing me to frantically climb up onto my knees. “What the fuck?!”

“That was for calling me that horrible name, bitch.” He smiled at my shocked reaction, his thumb tapping his bottom lip. Damn him and that grin of his. I think it could make me forgive anything.

* * *

_9:51pm_

“You sure it’s okay for you to eat this horrible greasy food?” I asked.

“I won’t tell Seth if you won’t.” I bit my lips watching him suck the buffalo sauce off of his fingers.

“I should be able to make you better meals when you visit, as long as I know when it’ll be. You kinda caught me off-guard this time and I wasn’t planning to cook anything tonight.”

“Well, at least chicken wings have protein. There’s other stuff in here that Seth and Roman would smack me for, but dammit, there’s protein!” I laughed at his reasoning.

I had been extra lazy that night, not only ordering take-out food, but also using disposable forks and plates. I gathered up the empty plates and threw them in the trash. Jon unfastened his belt and leaned back in the chair, letting out a long groan.

“I shouldn’t have eaten that much, but it felt so good.”

“Do you not get to eat a lot on the road?” I asked.

“Nah, that’s not it. We eat a good amount, but we’re much more aware about what we’re eating. I don’t get to eat delicious crap like that too often, so I had to pack it in, you know?”

“I can definitely see that.” I leaned down to him and licked off a drop of sauce still on the corner of his mouth.

“Are you trying to tempt me, woman?”

“No, I just thought that it’d be more enjoyable for me than wiping it away with a napkin.” I shrugged and smiled. “I was right.”

I stretched and yawned. It was still on the early side, but I was feeling pretty tired. “Hey Jon, I know you napped earlier so you’re probably not very tired…” I paused briefly, almost embarrassed to ask him what I was thinking. Dammit, if he was supposedly my boyfriend now, I could ask him something like this! “…but would you mind lying down with me while I fall asleep?”

He tapped his finger on his chin like he was thinking about it. Did I make a mistake in asking him? Was it too soon to do something so squishy and intimate? I suppose sex is one thing, but snuggling is a whole other ballgame.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I suggested it. It’s too soon.” I moved over to my bureau and started to change for bed. My bra and shirt were off and I was pulling a clean tee over my head when I felt two cold hands cover my breasts. I yelped at the unexpected touch.

“You barely gave me any time to respond,” he purred into my ear. His hands were massaging my breasts while he spoke. It was very distracting and he was aware of exactly what he was doing to me. “Of course I’ll cuddle with you. Just leave your shirt off.”

“If it means you’ll keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll never wear a shirt again.”

He let out this little sexy laugh and helped me take my shirt back off. I climbed into bed and wriggled under the covers. He moved in behind me and started to put his arms around me when I stopped him. “Flip over to the other side. I want to be the big spoon!”

“Really? Aren’t chicks supposed to be the little one?” He looked at me like he was stunned and he found this whole bit funny.

“Yeah, typically, but I like being the cuddler more than the cuddlee.” He humored me and rolled over onto his other side. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, leeching off the warmth of his body. I buried my face into his neck and shut my eyes. We laid there together in silence for a while before he spoke up.

“So what’s the deal with you and Dave?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t know much about him other than he’s your friend and co-worker. What’s your relationship like?”

“Let’s see. He started working here about two years ago. We had an instant connection because we share a similar sense of humor. If it weren’t for him, I probably would’ve quit a long time ago. I would just miss him too much if I were to work somewhere else.”

“I see. That’s cool. It’s always good to have a close friend.”

“Yeah, he’s been my rock for a while. Especially after the divorce. He’s like the Randal to my Dante.”

“I have no idea what the fuck just came out of your mouth,” he said as he laughed at me.

“Really? Dante and Randal? From _Clerks_? A modern comedy classic?” He turned his head to look at me and shrugged. “You’ve never seen _Clerks_?” I exclaimed, grabbing his bicep hard.

“Nope. When the fuck would I have time to watch movies?”

“Right now, asshole. We’re watching it.” I hopped out of bed and scurried over to the TV, bending over to look through my box of movies.

“You could just stay like that and I’d keep watching.” I reached an arm behind me and flipped him off.

I finally found the movie, popped it in, and dove back into bed. “You’ll love this. Trust me.”

* * *

_Thursday, 6:04am_            

I woke up alone. For a brief moment, it scared me. I must have fallen asleep during the movie because I don’t remember seeing the ending this time. The TV and DVD player were turned off. Had I been dreaming? Had Jon been here at all? Did I just dream this whole thing? I felt disappointed. I grabbed my phone to check the time and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a text from Jon.

_5:10am_

_Went for a run. Found a gym and stopped for a work out. Would you pick me up a little after 7?_

He must’ve been bored sitting around my apartment while I was sleeping. I felt bad that I couldn’t stay up all night with him and I don’t have much in the way of entertainment other than movies and my laptop. I replied to let him know I was awake and I asked which gym it was.

While waiting for a reply, since I knew he was in the middle of working out and wouldn’t drop everything just to check his phone, I figured I’d mess around on my laptop. I went to turn grab it and discovered it was already on. I swore that I shut it off last night. Hmm. I guess that I must have forgotten to since I was so tired. Yesterday was awfully weird, so I can’t blame myself.

* * *

_7:00am_

I pulled into the parking lot of the gym he had mentioned in his reply text. I walked up to the entrance as two chatting women were leaving. I turned to watch them leave. They were tan and fit, everything tight and with curves where you’d want them to be. I looked down at my mid-section and groaned. I have a gym membership, but I never go. I had bought one a few months after the divorce, swearing that I was totally going to get in shape so that I could show the world that I was still fabulous, but then I realized that ice cream and TV were a lot more fun and that I was never fabulous to begin with.

But now I was sort of dating a guy whose entire body was just like _pow!_ all over the place and I felt like I was the ugly girl who the quarterback was fake dating only to end up humiliating her in some teen sex comedy. Maybe Dave will start going to the gym with me if I bribe him.

I walked into the gym, feeling sheepish. I did a quick scan for Jon, but couldn’t quite find him from the front of the lobby. I noticed that all of the women on the treadmills and stationary bikes toward the back of the gym where staring in the same direction, into another room that I couldn’t see from where I was, and were clearly enjoying whatever they were looking at. Curious, I snuck further into the building so that I could catch a glimpse of what it was.

There was Jon, doing pull-ups on a bar, the muscles in his arms and torso flexing like crazy as he lifted himself up with ease. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, the damn show-off, and his skin was glistening from being covered in sweat. Good lord, no wonder every woman in this gym was watching him. My heart started pounding harder in my chest. My mouth stayed closed, but a soft whine still managed to escape my throat. Sure, I had seen him wrestle, but fuck, there was something about watching this man like this that made me just…I must have him right now.

I walked up to the doorway of the room he was using and knocked on the wall. “Hey Jon, are you ready to go?” I was fully aware that I was blocking the view of the women behind me. I could sense their evil glares on my back. Yeah bitches, eat it up.

He dropped down from the bar and came up to me. “Hey.” He gave me a quick peck on the mouth and then went to go grab his shirt and a towel to wipe off his face. “Yeah, gimme a sec to go take a shower and we can get out of here.”

I shook my head. “You can shower at my place.” I came up next to him and leaned up to his ear. “I need to fuck you right now,” I whispered. I stood behind him and pushed him out of the room, sticking out my tongue and flipping off the women watching us leave. Yeah bitches, I’m going home with all of this. I would’ve crotch-chopped, but I’m a lady.

When we got to my car, I tossed him the keys. “You’re driving. I am far too distracted.” He just shrugged and laughed.

Once we were on the road, I unbuckled from my seat, leaned over and shoved my hand down his shorts, grabbing his balls. “Shit, what the fuck has gotten into you?” he said, looking a bit stunned.

I gripped his hair with my other hand and buried my nose in it. It was still damp with sweat and the scent was driving me crazy. “I made the mistake of watching you exercise half-naked.” I moved my mouth down and bit his ear. I could feel his cock starting to swell next to my hand. “Seeing that and seeing all those other women watching you, wanting you, just made something primal come out of me.” I tasted the salt still lingering on his skin as I kissed and licked at his neck. I couldn’t wait to get home so that I could swallow him whole. “I might have to share you with other women while you’re gone, but like hell I’m sharing you with anyone while you’re here.” His cock was fully hard now, so I wrapped my fist around it and pulled it out from his shorts. “Right now, you’re all mine.” I couldn’t see them, of course, but I’m pretty sure I was rocking a pair of the crazy eyes right then. I leaned down and slipped most of his length into my mouth. What can I say? I was hungry. I hadn’t had breakfast yet.

“Fuck, Lana. You really are a dirty filthy slut.” I worked my mouth around him, seemingly trying to taste him more than trying to make him come. He fisted my hair and yanked my head up while we were at a stoplight. He planted a kiss on me and I shoved my tongue into his mouth, making sure he could taste himself.  I’m not sure if he liked the taste of his own sweaty unwashed junk, but I sure did at that moment.

He had to pull me off of him once again when we finally reached my apartment complex. I grabbed him by the wrist and walked with purpose into the elevator. The elevator ride was oddly uneventful for us. In our handful of encounters so far, elevators had been a bit of a recurring theme, so I expected something to happen, but I’m glad it didn’t because being made to wait was getting me even more excited.

I immediately stripped once I was through the threshold of the door. The door hadn’t even been closed yet, but I didn’t care. He shut the door behind him and I jumped up around his waist. He clearly wasn’t expecting that particular gesture from me because his legs buckled and we dropped to the floor.

“This’ll do,” I said, adapting to the change of location. “Now fuck me, goddammit.”

“How could I ignore a reque-” I covered his mouth with mine before he could finish his sentence. My legs were still wrapped around him, so I hooked my toes under the elastic band and started to slide his shorts off. He laughed into my mouth and helped me finish removing them.

I pulled away from him briefly. “Fuck, I doubt you have a condom in those shorts, do you?”

“No, for once, I don’t. Didn’t expect to nail anyone while I was out running.”

I crawled over to my bed and grabbed one from my toy box. When I came back from underneath the bed, he grabbed me from behind and snatched the condom from my hand. “Stay like that for a sec,” he whispered as he sheathed himself. He stood up and told me to do so as well. He then grabbed the back of my neck and pushed my face down into the bed. He pushed his cock into my waiting pussy, keeping his hand pressed against my back to hold me down. He ran his other hand up my thigh before it stopped and dug into my hip.

He held his cock there for a moment, unmoving. Torture. Fucking torture. My brain was so frazzled with lust that I couldn’t take it anymore and started thrusting my hips back onto him. My body needed him so badly right then, I didn’t have time for his silly sex games.

I felt his hand stroke my back a few times and then he took both of his hands off of me. After a few more thrusts backward, I stopped and turned my head around to ask him why he let go. I didn’t say a word once I saw him grinning at me. “Don’t stop now. This is really hot. Fuck yourself on my dick until you cum.

I started back up again, this time at a faster pace. I occasionally paused to grind my pussy against him. I felt like a stripper or a porn star or something, and it made me feel really sexy. If I was sex sober at the moment, I would probably have been ashamed of myself, but I was drunk on him and didn’t care one bit.

My skin flushed and my fingers gripped at the sheets as my orgasm tore through my body. I didn’t cry out like I normally do. This time I grit my teeth and released a growl of sorts. I suppose that primal part of me really was coming out.

He pressed his body down onto my back and whispered into my ear, “Who’s the tiger now, huh?” He stood back up and gripped my hips tight, taking control back and slamming his hips hard into mine. I growled again, turning back to look at him and baring my teeth. He smirked and did it again. My head dropped back down and the growl turned into a moan. He placed a hand on the back of my head and held it down into the sheets and he furiously thrust into me, heading toward his own climax. I didn’t worry about how loud I was being since the bed was muffling my sounds.  Soon I was having a second smaller orgasm and he came shortly after. He draped himself on my back and bit into my shoulder.

“I guess I should work out in front of you more often.”

* * *

_11:21am_

“Hey,” I said, breaking the silence that had been between us for a while. We had been lying together watching a movie, his choice this time. It was Die Hard, so I wasn’t complaining. “Not to get sappy all over you,” I fumbled trying to grab his hand, my eyes not leaving the screen. It felt appropriate, but it wasn’t helping prove that I wasn’t getting sappy. “but I’m really glad that I know you.” He didn’t respond, he just continued to watch John McClane kick some ass. He gently squeezed my hand after a moment, and I took that as his way of saying that he felt the same way.

* * *

_4:12pm_

I gazed up at his handsome face as he came, my own climax already come and gone. He collapsed on me and I relished his dead weight on my body. It made it harder to breathe, but I didn’t care. In some weird way, it made this whole thing feel real for me. Like if I didn’t feel a little pain, I would suddenly wake up and find out this really was all just a dream.

He finally rolled over onto his back and I went to clean up. When I came back out, he was still lying there with his eyes closed, all naked and disheveled, looking fucking perfect. I snuck over to grab my phone, not wanting to disturb him, and took a picture of him. The stupid shutter sound from the phone startled him and he opened his eyes, glaring at me.

“You seriously didn’t just take a naked picture of me, did you?”

“Indeed I did. I need something to keep me going this next month, and trust me, this will.”

“Are you sure, because you already have a pretty impressive porn collection,” he said, chuckling.

“Fuck you, you did turn on my laptop! You asshole!” I threw his shirt at him and he caught it, sat up and threw it on.

“You were sleeping and I was bored, so I went exploring. Can you blame me?”

“When you’re smiling at me like that, I find it hard to blame you for anything.” I began to get dressed myself. “I might need to get this picture printed on a body pillow so I can snuggle with it at night.”

He looked at me with a horrified expression. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Yes, don’t worry. I’d like to think I’m not _that_ creepy.”

“Just promise me you won’t show that to anyone, okay? Like don’t go posting that online so that all those fangirl chicks lose their shit and I get my ass fired for having naked photos.”

“You think I’d want to share this piece of art? Hell no, this is all mine, and I like your ass, so I don’t want to be responsible for it getting fired. I just want to touch it.” I stared at the picture and then looked over at the real thing, laughing and smiling. The photo would just have to do till next month.

* * *

_6:14pm_

“So do you want me to drop you off at the airport or do you want to call a cab?” I asked.

He scratched the back of his head and his face was kind of scrunched up in thought. “Ah, I was wondering about that myself. I think I might go with the cab.” He noticed my obvious disappointed with his answer. “Look, Lana,” he came up to me and held my face in his hands. “It’s nothing you did or anything, so don’t go crazy female all over this, okay?” He lightly smacked my cheek and return to keep packing his small bag.

“I know. I’m just kinda sad that I can’t see you off, you know? I know you have to, but I wish you didn’t have to go. It’s been nice having you around for more than one round of sex.” I flashed him a cheesy grin and he threw a pair of his dirty underwear at me. “Thanks! I could make a lot of money selling this online!”

He tried to grab them back and I turned away so he couldn’t reach them. He grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up, shaking me back and forth. I screamed in girlish delight and begged him to stop, despite my laughter.

“Drop the boxers and I’ll let you go,” he said calmly.

“Never!”

"Fine, if this won't work, I know what will."

He placed me down on the ground, grabbed my shoulders, and started to attack my neck with his mouth. My knees buckled immediately and my arms went limp as I fell under his mouth's spell. The boxers fell from my hand, landing on the ground in a pile. He quickly laid me down on the ground and snatched up his boxers, leaving me to go put them in his bag.

"You really are an asshole," I said, deadpan.

"You were being a bitch and not giving them back. So I had to use alternate means. It's not my fault, you horny slut."

I sat up, laughing. "Oh, really? I'm the horny slut here? You're the one who wanted sex again and again!"

"Did you ever say no? I was just making sure to fill up your tank so you'll be good till next month." Even he couldn’t keep a straight face anymore.

"You are seriously something else,” I said as I stood up and walked over to him.

"Thank you. I take pride in that."

"Do you want anything to eat before you go?"

"Nah, I'm good." We stood in silence, staring at one another, unsure what to say. “I think I’m gonna go call a cab now,” he said while rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. Better to get to the airport earlier than later, right?” I said, forcing a smile. Why was this so awkward? We were so casual and comfortable around each other all day, but this feels so wrong. In an attempt to end the misery of this moment, I went over to the door and opened it up for him. He grabbed his bag and stopped in the doorway to give me one of those sweet, gentle kisses. I enjoyed it, but it didn’t feel quite right.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you,” he said.

“Yup. Text me when you’ll be able to visit next.”

“Yeah, I will.” He gave me another quick kiss and got into the elevator. I gave him a little wave as the door closed and he winked back.

I have no clue what the hell just happened there. Did we become seventh graders at the school dance?  I shut the door and flopped onto my bed. I grabbed one of the pillows and shoved my face into it so it could muffle my irritated yell.

* * *

_7:04pm_

I was eating dinner when my phone vibrated.

_Safely at the airport._

_Thought you might want to know._

I sent him back a _thank you_. I appreciated the gesture. A few moments later, the phone buzzed again.

_So I couldn’t say it out loud earlier_

_But the reason I didn’t want you to drive me to the airport was because it would’ve been harder to leave you._

_It was hard enough leaving your apartment._

I almost choked on my food. Was this man really getting sentimental on me? I was grinning so hard that it hurt.

_I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number._

_Because I don’t know any Asshole that would be so sweet._

_Fine, see if I ever let you see my soft side again._

_I prefer your hard side anyway._

_Gotta go deal with airport shit._

_You know, I think I’m gonna miss you._

_You’re turning me into a pussy._

_I think I’ll miss you too, Jon._


	11. Jon's Storytime

The first few days were easy. A busy weekend at the bar working with Dave and watching Smackdown with the regulars helped keep me distracted. You’d think that seeing him on Smackdown would’ve made me broody and lonely, but I was more filled with pride watching my man do his thing. Well, maybe he’s my time-share man, but I’m the only one who can claim that he’s my boyfriend, assuming that he doesn’t lay the same lines on every other woman, but I’m going to choose to trust him. The only way this open relationship thing will work is if we trust each other.

I bragged to the bar patrons who were watching the show with us that Ambrose was totally my boyfriend now, but none of them believed me. They actually started a chant of “Lana is a fangirl”, which had me laughing and feeling a bit too thrilled to have my name in a chant. Doesn’t every little girl dream of having a bar full of drunks chanting her name? No? Just me? Anyway, I can’t blame them for not believing me because it didn’t sound very plausible. Even when I heard the words come out of my mouth, I almost didn’t believe them. I’d bring him to the bar one night and prove it to them all, but that would probably be more trouble than it’s worth.

What really started my test of nerves was Monday night.

Jon and I had swapped a few casual texts over the weekend. Mainly he sent me pictures of him and the boys looking stupid backstage and at the random places they stopped on the road. For men so handsome, they can really make some ridiculous faces. I was entertained by the cute photos and honestly, relieved that none of the messages had been of him saying that he was taking his dick out for a walk.

I hunkered down in my blanket cocoon Monday night after work and turned on the TV. I grabbed my new favorite pillow and snuggled up against it. It was my new favorite because it still smelled of Jon: smoky with just a hint of whatever shampoo or cologne he uses. It was relaxing to bury my face in it and inhale, pretending that it was his neck or hair. Man, if me from about eight months ago could see me now, she would so kick me in the vagina.

I watched the show uneventfully for the most part, getting giddy like an infatuated teenager when the Shield boys came out and did their thing. When the show was over, I debated about whether or not I should stay up waiting to see if he sent a message. I had done that the past few nights, but I had been working closing shifts, so I was usually wound up and didn’t fall asleep till 3 or 4 anyway. I had assumed that by then, he’d have picked his mate for the evening, if he was going to do so.

I chose to go to sleep, but I kept the phone by my head. About an hour and a half had passed when the buzz of my phone awoke me.

Bringing a chick back to my hotel room.

I can call you with details after, if you want.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and read it again. Yup. It was real. I bit my lip and stared at the text for a moment. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt. I think I need a drink. I got dressed and headed downstairs.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, we close in a few minutes,” Dave said as he smiled at me.

“So, he’s with another woman right now,” I sighed as I saddled up to the bar.

“Fruity girlie drink?”

“Nah, this calls for whiskey. Something to shock my brain into deciding on how I feel about this whole thing.”

He poured me a shot and I threw it back, making a horrible face as it went down.

“So?” he asked.

“Well, it’s not like I feel surprised. I mean, he looks the way he does and he’s quite popular with pussy, so... I suppose I should be glad that he wasn’t with someone new the night he left. That would’ve really hurt. At least he waited a few days.” I pushed the glass toward him and looked up at him with puppy eyes, waiting for him to pour me another. I took the new shot and drank it. “I feel a little sad because it’s sort of like, how could you be fucking another woman after you wrote that you’d miss me and it was hard to leave my apartment? Do you think he’s full of shit?”

“He might be. He does seem to have that charisma that chicks eat up, so he could be using it to lead you on. But from the few times I’ve encountered him, he also seems like he doesn’t hold anything back. If he wrote that he’s going to miss you, I don’t think he was lying.”

“Thanks, Dave.” I rubbed my face with my hands and groaned. “He also wrote just now that he could call me after and tell me the details of his hook-up. I’m kind of tempted because then everything will be out on the table and I won’t lie in bed wondering about the unknown, but I don’t know how I’ll actually react. It’s one thing to know he’s banging some skank, but it’s another thing to hear what she looked like and how turned on he was and what they did together and what she sounded like. With my luck, I’ll start crying on the phone like a crazy woman drunk on drama.”

“Well, you’ll never know until you hear him and find out. Think of it this way. It would be better to know now if you can’t handle the relationship than for it to go on for months and probably end a lot messier than it would end right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Gimme a sec.” I pulled out my phone and replied to Jon, agreeing to listen to him later. I didn’t expect a reply, unless he was really good at texting while getting his dick sucked. “Alright then. I suppose I just need to wait until the phone rings.”

“Do you want to wait down here with me while I close up or wait upstairs?”

“I’ll stay down here if you give me another free shot of whiskey,” I answered while trying to put on the Miss Lana charm. It didn’t work.

“Free my ass, you’re paying for those, bitch.” David winked at me and slid me another glass.

It was about an hour or so before my phone rang. I let Dave know I was leaving and thanked him for talking things out with me. I finally answered the phone on my way to the elevator.

“Hey, give me a sec to get back to my room. I was drinking with Dave downstairs.”

“No problem, babe. Take your time.” His voice was filled with that relaxed post-orgasm huskiness that I had enjoyed listening to several times before. Just hearing it made my pussy start to weep.

I quickly closed the door and hopped back into bed, getting as comfortable as I could for Jon’s storytime. That would probably be the worst children’s show ever. Moms would dig it though.

“Okay, I’m all set,” I said. “So, uh, did you have a nice night?” His immediate response was a soft confident laugh, still in that husky tone. Damn him for sounding so sexy without trying.

“Yeah, the show was good. Did you like it?”

“You know I always do when I get to watch you guys. I really enjoy watching you work.”

“Hmm yeah? I get that a lot.” He paused for a moment and I could hear him exhale his post-fuck cigarette. “This red-headed skank said the same thing tonight.”

“Red hair, huh? Do you have a thing for that?”

“Pussy is my thing, El. And this one was quite nice. I suspect the red was a dye-job, but I couldn’t check because she was freshly waxed. Her pussy felt so soft, El.” He paused for another drag.

I frowned. I usually trimmed downstairs and occasionally shaved sometimes, but I had never allowed anyone to put hot wax down on my cooch and rip the hair out. I might like a little pain when Jon is responsible for it, but I’m not so much of a masochist to pay someone to make my pussy sting. He clearly seemed to like the idea of waxed ones, though.

“So how exactly did you get her back to your hotel room?” I asked.

“Well, like the little rats always do, she hung out in the back lot of the arena until we all left. While the boys and I were loading up the car, she approached me with that line you mentioned about liking to watch me work. So I used the shittiest line ever and asked her if she’d like to come watch me work some more in my hotel room. I got some groans out of Seth and Roman for that one. I know it wasn’t my best, but I was feeling lazy.” I had to laugh. The thought of Seth and Roman giving Jon shit for his manwhore ways filled my heart with joy. “Anyway, I don’t know if she was just dumb as a stick or trying to be flirty and cute, but she apparently thought we were going to watch my old matches or something. She got the hint though when I took my dick out.”

I quietly sighed, picturing him with an arrogant grin, holding his hard cock in his hand and waiting for this girl to start servicing him. It was kinda hot and my skin started to flush.

“So this horny slut immediately drops to her knees and starts sucking me off. It was one of those wet, sloppy blowjobs, like in a porno or something. It was cool, but it looked better than it felt. Your technique is so much better. You know how to work a dick with your tongue.”

My skin prickled with excitement at his comment and I noticed that my hand had crept down between my legs and I had been haphazardly rubbing myself over my pants while he had been speaking. I guess I really was getting turned on by listening to this. I pursed my lips and quickly decided to do something about it. I put the phone on speaker and got naked while he continued to talk.

“Anyway, that was fun for a while, but I eventually got bored and picked her up by her hair. Do you know how much fun that is? To manhandle a chick like that? Fucking awesome.”

“No wonder you’re so good at it,” I said a little louder than normal so the phone would catch it. Stepping out of my panties, I switched the speaker phone off and got back into bed.

“Heh, yeah. So I pushed her hard onto the bed and pulled her skirt up around her waist. She yelped when I bit her pussy lips through her thong. Fucking slut didn’t know what she had gotten herself into. I got to feel how soft that pussy was when I took her panties off. She was so fucking horny that her smell instantly filled the small hotel room. It was fucking nuts. She practically squealed like a pig when I started eating her out. That part was annoying. I had to shove my fingers in her mouth to get her to shut up. She was so damn wet and her pussy tasted really good, just not as sweet as yours, El.”

I had been doing a good job of keeping quiet, but on that last line, a moan escaped my lips. I had been rubbing my clit with my fingers while he was talking and it had felt so good. I was really getting off on listening to him talk dirty in that damn voice that launched a thousand lady boners.

He stopped talking and I held my breath, trying not to curse at myself out loud for letting that moan slip. I didn’t want him to know what I was doing. I’m not sure why. I was just embarrassed, I guess.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What was what?” I responded, feigning ignorance.

“I definitely just heard something.”

“Oh, that was just the cat.” I silently pulled a face, knowing that I had just blown it with that horrible excuse.

“You got a cat in the four days since I’ve been gone?”

“Nope. I’m just cat sitting for a neighbor. They went on a small weekend vacation and wanted me to watch over it.” I crossed my fingers, wordlessly begging that he would let this slide.

“Really. Heh…okay then. Anyway, where was I?” I held the phone away from my face and breathed a sigh of relief.

“You were busy licking this chick’s pussy and making her suck on your fingers.”

“Right. Her lips were so smooth and slick under my tongue. Her hips kept bucking up whenever I flicked her clit, so I smacked her thighs hard to get her to behave.”

“Did she behave for you? Was she a good girl?”

“Yeah, for the most part. She kept control of her body until she ended up cumming while I was down there. She was just drenched after that. I took off my clothes and El, my dick was so hard right then, it was beautiful. You would’ve loved it.”

“I bet I would have, Jon.” I had to giggle at how silly he sounded. “So tell me about how hard you fucked this filthy rat. Did you make her scream your name?” I was getting really into it now and could feel my orgasm building.

“Did I? I’m ashamed you have to ask, babe. You know how I work. I fucked that pussy raw. Her tits were bouncing up and down, her head was thrown back, and her hair was all over the place. It was a very nice view, I must say.”

“Sounds…like it was.” It was becoming harder to keep my breathing regular and respond to him at the same time, as I had started to finger myself.

“She was so fucking loud though, I had to flip her over and shove her face in the sheets.”

“Having been on the receiving end of you doing that, I can tell you that it feels really good. Lucky bitch. Did you make her cum again?”

“Do you know who you’re talking to? You know I always deliver, El,” he said, accompanied by a cute little laugh. “Her pussy clamped down on my dick like a fucking vice when she came the second time. It was just too much and I couldn’t hold off any longer.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me how fucking good it felt when you came in that dirty whore.”

He laughed at the eagerness in my voice. “It felt so good,” he purred into the phone, dragging out the vowels in the last two words. That alone sent me over the edge. I slowly exhaled through my orgasm, trying to remain as calm as possible. I forgot to move the phone away from my face though and I must’ve exhaled a bit too loudly because he started to laugh again.

“You’re a sexy bitch, you know that? Naughty girl, Lana, touching yourself while listening to me talk about fucking another woman. Was it good for you, baby?”

I cleared my throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It sounds like you had a good time with that charming young lady.”

“And it sounds like you had a good time with yourself and the erotic sounds of my sexy voice.”

“You’re ruining it, Jon,” I said chuckling. “I’m going to go to sleep now. Drive safe when you guys head out.”

“We will as long as I’m not driving. Sleep well, Lana.”

“I will. And yes, it was good for me.” I hung up quickly, giggling.

That had been much more fun than I had expected. I don’t know if I would end up getting tired or frustrated listening to him talk about other women, but for now, I could use it as a way to connect with him sexually while he’s on the road. I went to sleep feeling great and really relaxed. I just hoped I wouldn’t loathe myself in the morning.


	12. Jumping In

The next two weeks pretty much followed the same pattern on most nights. After a show, Jon would hit up one of his regulars or find a new little skank to stick his flag into. He would call me once he sent them on their way and regale me with the details while I masturbated listening to him. He thought it was funny at first, but I think he got as much enjoyment out of it as I did. I was still timid about it the first few times, but I eventually became comfortable enough with masturbating on the phone that I started to get really into it. I would help narrate his story by asking specific obscene questions for him to answer. I think it was getting him off a bit, too, because by the second week, I swore I could hear him jerking off on the other end.

It was a fun little arrangement.

However, one Saturday night when I got his text, I was not in a very good mood. The bar had exploded with people early in the evening and it was busy right up to closing time. I didn’t even check my phone when I felt it vibrate in my pocket because I already knew what it said. Out of the last six days, he had hooked up with different chicks five times. I knew he got around, but I don’t think I realized that he was this active. Maybe if it had been a quieter night or I hadn’t been working, I wouldn’t have cared as much, but I was already stressed out and riled up, so this did not improve my mood.

Larry noticed my frustration and called over to me, feigning wanting another drink.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? You’ve been in such a good mood lately,” he inquired.

I gestured around the room. “Do you not see how busy it is tonight, Larry? It should be obvious why I’m frazzled.”

He stared at me, rubbing his stubble-covered chin. “No, there’s more to it. I’ve seen you stressed when it’s busy before, and there’s something different about you right now. Promise you’ll tell me after last call, El?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll let you stay a little later, but I’m only going to serve you water, old man,” I said with a wink.

When the final patrons were out the door and I successfully locked it behind them, I slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor, exhausted. I groaned rather loudly and Larry came over to help me up.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. Dave and I started cleaning up while Larry listened to me rant.

“I think I’m starting to get a little jealous of Jon,” I said, getting right to the point. I was too tired to pussyfoot around. “It’s like he’s trying to win some award for fucking a different girl every night and I’ve just been masturbating to him telling me about it after. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like he’s the only one really benefitting from this open thing.”

“Have you tried getting out there yet?” he asked.

“No, not yet. I figured it was too early. I mean it’s only been a little over two weeks since we decided to do this. I thought I’d ease into the dating pool, but he cannonballed.”

“I think he’s cannonballing into the STD filled hot tub,” David quipped. I sighed and gave him a sad look. I wasn’t quite in the mood for jokes like that. “Look, El, if this is what he was doing before he asked you to be his sort-of girlfriend, and you agreed that it was fine for you guys to sleep with other people while still supposedly being with each other, I don’t think you can really be upset at him for simply continuing to do what he does.”

“Maybe…” I pondered.

“I think it’s just time for you to go out and try to get a little something for yourself,” suggested Larry.

“Listen to him, El. He’s old and wise and was a horny teenager in the 60s, so he knows about crazy free love and all that shit.” Right on cue, Dave made the save and got me to smile for the first time that night. “On your next night off, put on a hot little number, go to a crowded bar, and I’ll give you a bat to beat the dudes away.”

I giggled and gave him a hug. He seemed awfully confident in me, but I still wasn’t quite convinced in myself. “I guess I’ll have to go buy a little black dress or something tomorrow, then.”

“Do you still have that outfit you wore when you were out with the wrestlers a few weeks back?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Wear that,” Dave interrupted. “Trust me on it.”

* * *

So another Monday night came, but instead of watching Raw, I got ready to go out looking for a new man for the evening. I put on the outfit Dave had suggested and stood in front of the full length mirror on the bathroom door. Staring at myself, I couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. It had been so long since I had gone out alone, let alone gone out at all, really. Could I pull this off? I sighed and lightly smacked my face. You gotta get your game face on, girlie, or this will be a rough night. I turned around and glanced at my backside. These jeans did make it look surprisingly good. I guess the guys weren’t just humoring me about it. I smiled and blushed slightly at this thought. Yeah, you look good, Lana, you can do this!

Confidence now up a notch, I left and headed to a more popular “hip” bar further into the city. It was nothing like my bar, but I suppose I didn’t really want to go looking for a sex partner in a place like my bar. I tried squeezing through the sea of people surrounding the bar so that I could order. Ugh, all these people, laughing and flirting like douches. No, Lana, you have to be less judgmental and more charming or something if you want to try to use this ticket to ride.

Once I finally wiggled my way up to the front and caught the attention of one of the bartenders, I ordered a vodka cranberry. That drink seemed simple enough. I didn’t want to end up getting plastered tonight and going home with just anyone or making a fool of myself. After opening up a tab and receiving my drink, I moved back to the main floor and surveyed my prey.

Every relationship or random encounter I had previously was during high school or college and I always met the guys at parties or through mutual friends. I never had to fend for myself on unknown territory and I was terrified. I knew about some of the lame “rules” of picking up women, so I figured I’d try attempting them on men. I looked around the bar to try to find someone who wasn’t in a group. I finally spotted an attractive guy sitting at a table and approached him, pulling up in my own seat.

“Hi, my name is Lana and I’m kind of new to the whole dating scene recently because I got divorced last year, but I’m sort of dating this guy now and he wants to have an open relationship so I have to get back out there as they say so that he’s not the only one getting to bone random people while he’s away. Yeah, it’s sort of a long distance relationship thing. Those are hard, aren’t they? He’s on the road a lot because he’s a wrestler and he’s always busy. Do you watch wrestling? Oh, why would I be asking that right away? I love it, though. I suppose that’s kind of obvious since I’m sleeping with one. He’s really good at his job. And in bed, too. Haha, you look really uncomfortable right now. Oh right, I’m sorry, where are my manners, I haven’t even asked you what your name is yet!”

The man raised his eyebrows, looking stunned. Then his eyes shifted to above my head and I heard the sound of a woman clearing her throat.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” the strange woman asked. I turned around and looked at her, horrified. “Can you please tell me what you think you’re doing with my boyfriend?”

My mouth hung open for what felt like minutes before I started stuttering. Finally, I was able to put coherent words together. “I’m so sorry! I saw him alone and didn’t know he was here with anyone so I thought I’d try talking to him. I didn’t mean to interrupt your date. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I quickly stood up and walked away, stopping to lean against a wall and calm down. Christ, I had barely had any of my drink, but I had rambled like I had a few. I sighed and banged my head on the wall a few times.

Okay, Miss Lana, this is no time to panic and leave! If you want to be equals with Sir Bangalot, you gotta get in there and fight!

I decided to give a shot to that ridiculous pick-up line David had suggested. I stayed by the wall and started looking at shoes, trying to find the nicest ones. No one would believe the line if they were wearing scuzzy sneakers, right? I spotted two pairs of what looked like really nice men’s dress shoes - I really don’t know a lot about shoes in general - and headed in their general direction.

The owners of these shiny new shoes were two handsome men who looked athletic and fit. What a lucky find for me! I approached them and took a deep breath before laying down David’s very inappropriate line.

“Hey guys, nice shoes. Wanna fu-uhhhh….” I stood in front of the two men, staring at them, as they engaged each other in one of the hottest kisses I have ever seen. “Um, sorry, never mind,” I awkwardly apologized as they turned to look at me. They were thankfully smiling, so clearly they weren’t offended. “Um. Would you mind if I stayed and watched?” They both patted me on the shoulder with looks of pity and walked away.

 What the fuck is wrong with me!? I gulped down my drink and asked the bartender for two more of the same. Clearly being sober was not working for me. I never would’ve guessed that I would be this bad at meeting new people. I dreaded David and Jon’s reactions upon hearing of my plight. I could hear their laughter in the back of my head. Jerks.

I grabbed my two new drinks and went to go search for an empty table. Luckily for me, the table where stunned guy and surprise girlfriend had been sitting was now empty. Hopefully they weren’t both in the bathroom now and would come back to find me stealing their table.

I slumped down into a chair and just nursed my drinks while watching people. Look at them all, easily creating new relationships and memorable moments. Sure those relationships wouldn’t last past sunrise and those moments would be soon forgotten amidst a drunken haze, but I used to think that I could approach people and connect with them just as easily. Somewhere along the way, I lost that. How fucking depressing.

I rubbed my temples to try to relieve some of the stress I was feeling. This was turning into one of the worst nights ever. I just wanted to go back to my regular bar and drink with my regular patrons and listen to David laugh at my misfortune.

“Excuse me, miss. May I sit here?” I was startled back to reality by a good-looking man. I smiled at him and nodded. He sat down and continued. “I’ve been watching you and you looked a bit frazzled. I thought it was kinda cute.” He took a sip of his own drink. “Also I liked your rack.”

I looked down at my chest, clearly highlighted by the alteration that Jon had made to it, and blushed. This guy was awfully forward, but I did find him attractive and if he was approaching me, I might be able to end this night as a success.

“Thank you? I suppose it’s a miracle what a push-up bra can do,” I said while lightly adjusting my cups. “My name is Lana, by the way.” I reached out my hand to shake his.

“Chad. So I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve been watching you ever since you came in.”

“That sounds awfully creepy, Chad. Did you have nothing better to do?”

“I know it sounds creepy, and I’m sorry for that,” he said, chuckling. “I had been waiting here for almost an hour before I decided that yes, my date did in fact stand me up. What are you gonna do though, right?” He shrugged. “So I was people watching when you came in and I thought you were kinda cute and you looked quite nervous. It was endearing and I found you a lot more intriguing than these other people.”

“I see.” I took a sip of my drink and looked him up and down. “So how much of what you just said is total bullshit?”

He smiled and rubbed the back of his head. “Eh, not as much as you’d think, honestly. I was stood up, but it wasn’t quite a date. I was supposed to be meeting this chick I met on the internet for sex.” I nearly choked on my drink. I had not been expecting that one. “I had been people watching, but mainly in the hopes that I could find a new partner for the night. I did think you were cute and definitely getting frazzled the longer I watched, but I also overheard you talking to some guy earlier. It seems that you’re in an open relationship and looking for someone to fuck tonight?” He smiled and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Good lord, well when you put it that way…” Now it was my turn to rub the back of my head sheepishly.

“So I’m not generally this forward, but I’m attracted to you and we’re both looking for noncommittal sex, so if you find me attractive, would you like to come back to my place? I’m drug and disease free and I always wear protection, so you don’t need to worry. Maybe we can have a drink together and see what happens?”

“I…uh…” I wasn’t sure what to say. This was what I was looking for tonight, right? So why did I feel so weird about it? I thought for a moment and then decided to jump into the deep end. “Yes. I would love to.” We both finished our drinks and paid our tabs. While he hailed a cab, I sent Jon a text.

Going back to some guy’s place. Wish me luck?

Sitting in the back of the cab together, I discovered that Chad was not shy. Almost immediately after the cab pulled away from the curb, his hand found its way to my knee and it continued its way up my thigh. Thank goodness I had worn jeans or else he’d probably have his hand in my panties already. Whatever happened to the art of seduction, huh?  He leaned over and nuzzled my neck. I closed my eyes and tilted my head away from him, allowing him access to go further. Nipping at my neck with his teeth, he slipped his hand under my shirt and up to my lace covered breast. I opened my eyes back up and made eye contact with the driver in the rearview mirror. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I knew I was being watched and I didn’t really like it.

Chad squeezed my breast hard and I was jolted back to reality. “You looked a little distracted, baby. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” He didn’t look convinced, so I grabbed his shoulders and planted my lips against his, shifting around so that I was facing him. We made out the rest of the ride while he continued to paw at my chest. I was enjoying it for the most part, but I didn’t feel the rush of lust that I felt when I was with Jon, or even years ago with Scott. It felt like something was missing, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

When the taxi finally stopped in front of his apartment building, he paid the driver and got out. He walked around to the other side and opened up the door for me, which I have to admit was a very sweet little gesture. He reached out his hand to help me out and I hesitated. This just didn’t feel right. As much as I wanted to try to be Jon’s sexual equal in this bizarre relationship, I just couldn’t go through with this. Not tonight. Not with Chad.

“I’m sorry, Chad, but I can’t. I’m going to go back home. You’re a very handsome young man, but I just can’t go through with this.” I reached to close the door and he stopped it with his hand.

“What’s your game? Do you get off on leading men on or something? Why are you suddenly backing out of this?”

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t feel comfortable with this right now. I’m sorry!” I tried closing the door again and he thankfully moved his arm without pushing the issue any further. I gave the driver my address and he drove off. I turned to look behind me as we drove away and I was greeted by the sight of Chad, apparently ever the gentleman, flipping me off and grabbing his crotch.

I think I made the right decision.

* * *

“Ugh, David. Why am I so fucking stupid?” I sat at the bar, my face buried in my hands. He placed an open bottle of beer in front of me and I peeked at it through my hands. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Do you really think you’re stupid? Or are you just a little embarrassed at how badly the evening went?”

“Ha! A little embarrassed. That’s a good one.” I took a swig of the drink and sighed. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for one night stands.”

“Well, I would’ve thought that myself if you had tried something like this last year, but you proved me wrong when you ended up hooking up with your little sex toy.”

“That was different.”

“Really. How so, El?” he asked.

“Well…um…”

“You’re very convincing,” he said with a laugh.

“Jon kind of seduced me, in a way. Maybe. I don’t know. He was persistent. He loitered around the bar for an hour, asking me stupid questions and I got all frustrated and riled up, so I suppose I sort of wanted the physical release. Also, I hadn’t been with anyone in seven months, so my body was wound up pretty tight and my lady bits overrode the logical part of my brain. But with this Chad guy, we spoke for maybe five minutes before I left with him. There wasn’t any back and forth banter. I didn’t really get a feel for him. Maybe that has something to do with it. I don’t know. I just wasn’t feeling it with him.”

“Maybe you need to get to know someone somewhat before you’re able to be physical with them? I mean, you didn’t really know Jon when you did, but it’s an idea?”

“Huh. Maybe.” I took another swig.

“Why don’t you try online dating? There are all sorts of horny dudes on there looking for sex, but you can search for one privately in you apartment and banter all you want before you actually meet up. It’s worth a shot, El.”

“I don’t know what I’d even put down in a profile. I think I’d be afraid of overselling myself, so I’d end up making myself sound absolutely horrible.”

“How about after I close up, I come upstairs and help you write one? I’m a pro at them. I used to do a lot of online dating before I moved here.”

“Sounds good.” I finished the beer and paid for it. “Just knock on the door when you come up. I’m going to go see if I can contact mister man.”

* * *

I sent Jon a text telling him that my attempt at getting the most from this open relationship was a bust tonight as soon as I got through the door. I tossed my phone down on the bed, deciding that I’d go take a hot shower to clean off this dirty lingering feeling I had on me. I watched the soap suds circle down the drain as I rinsed myself off, the uncomfortable feeling that Chad had left on me going down with them.

I dried myself off and went to throw on a t-shirt and a pair of cotton pajama shorts. They were covered with a Hello Kitty design and they were my favorite guilty pleasure clothes. Once I was dressed, I flopped down on the bed and saw that there was a notification on my phone. Jon had replied to my text while I was busy.

_Shame. I expect to hear all the details, bitch._

I sent him back a reply.

_I’m not busy right now. Feel free to call when you have a moment and you can laugh at me._

I fixed myself something to eat and after a while, my phone rang.

“Hey Jon,” I answered. “How was the show tonight?”

“It was pretty good. My shoulder feels a little stiff, but it’ll be okay. But the more important question is how did you fail in getting laid tonight? I have to say, I’m disappointed in you.” The sound of his laughter made me smile. As awkward an evening as it had been, at least it would become an entertaining story in the end.

“Well, first I went up to a guy sitting alone because, you know, those pick up books always say to get the target away from a group, right? So I figured a dude at a bar by himself might be lonely and easy to talk to. Well, rambled at him like a crazy bitch, basically telling him my life story of the past year, and then his girlfriend came back.”

“No shit! That’s awesome,” he laughed into the phone. “Did she throw a drink in your face? Did a cat fight break out? Did she pull your hair? Did you end up tearing each other’s clothes off and making out on the floor?”

“Seriously? That’s your reaction?” I sighed and shook my head, even though I was smiling. “Let’s see. No, no, I probably would’ve liked it, and do you think my life is a porno?”

“Ever since I came into it? Yes.”

“You’re a douche.”

“Admit it, you love it.” I didn’t think it could be possible, but I swore I could hear that cheeky arrogant grin through the phone.

“So then I tried using this pick-up line that David had given me.”

“And that would be?”

I cleared my throat, embarrassed that I had even used such a phrase. “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” His laughter was so damn loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

“I’m going to have to try that one sometime. I knew I liked Dave.”

“So I spotted two dudes,” I continued. “But it turned out that they were gay…or bi, but either way, they weren’t interested in me joining or watching them make out.”

“So that’s why you want to fuck two dudes at once.”

“No, I’d want to be greedy and have the focus on me, but I do get a little excited watching two guys together. Anyway, I went to go sulk at a table when some dude named Chad started talking me up and within a few minutes, he was asking me back to his place.”

“So why didn’t you go with him?”

“I did. But when we got to his place, I couldn’t go through with it and I had the taxi take me home. It just felt wrong to me. I know it’s just supposed to be random sex with someone I’ll never see again, but I don’t think I liked him very much. I’m going to try online dating instead so that maybe I can get in another friends with benefits kind of situation. I want to go with quality over quantity.”

“That sounds cool. Promise me this, though. I’m gonna visit in a few weeks. That Wednesday night, go out with me and let me coach you on picking up a guy. Hopefully with me around, you’ll feel more relaxed and gain more confidence so that when you do meet up with some guy online, you don’t fuck it up.”

“Alright, it’s a deal. Just don’t make me regret agreeing to it.”

“I’m going to help pick out a guy for you to bang. In what way would you regret that?”

“Do you not hear yourself sometimes? You are so weird. Anyway, Dave should be coming up soon to help me with the profile, so I’ll talk to you later, Jon.” We said our goodnights and hung up.

* * *

”Come on in!” I called out when I heard a knock at the door.

“You know, I think this is actually the first time I’ve been to your place in the time I’ve known you,” he stated as he looked around.

“Really? Not even for a Walking Dead and ice cream marathon?”

“No, not even for one of those. And be honest. You wouldn’t share the ice cream.”

“You got me there. I do love my mint chocolate chip. I honestly should tell Minty that we need a break,” I said as I rubbed my hand over my stomach. “I might need to trim up a bit if I want to reel in the metaphorical fish in the sea.”

“El, you are beautiful just the way you are. So shut the fuck up. Now hand over your laptop and let’s get this bitch started.”

He snatched my computer away from me and opened up one of the more popular dating sites in a new tab.

"Okay, so first things first. You need to think of a username. Try to come up with something while I start filling out your basic info."

Drat. I was never very good at coming up with internet names. In high school and early college, I had used that generic kind of handle, like "cutegrrl" with some number because I'm not original, but I assumed that it probably wouldn’t be a very good idea to use something like that now. Not only is it not appropriate to my age or who I am currently, it would also probably attract a certain creepy kind of person that I didn't want.

"Alright, your basic info, like gender and age and all that shit is done. Do you have your username ready?"

"Um...how about something like Secondchances and then some random number." David stared at me silently, blinking. "You know, cause I'm divorced and this is, like, my second chance in the dating world."

"Yeah, I get it, El, but that name is terrible and I'm ashamed of you. You can do better than that."

I let out a frustrated groan. "I suck at this kind of think, man."

"Okay, how about this then?" He typed something out and then turned the laptop to face me.

"Hotandwilling4u?! What the fuck, Dave? No no no no no!" I rapidly pressed the backspace button while Dave laughed so hard that he had a coughing fit.

As he caught his breath, he calmly replied, "well isn't that the kind of relationship you'd be looking for? I just want you to advertise yourself properly."

"I hate you."

He grinned at my deadpan expression and then grabbed my phone from the nightstand. "How about we ask Jon for his input?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"Hey...sexy..." he began to say aloud while he typed.

"What? I never call him that. You're being stupid, give me my phone back!" I grabbed for the phone and he kept moving it out of my grasp as he continued to type out the Text. We looked like a couple of children.

"What...should...my...online...dating...username...be? Smooches,...Your...baby doll. Sent!"

"My hatred of you is getting closer to loathing now, buddy. I don't fucking talk like that." The phone buzzed back with his reply almost immediately. Dave looked at my phone and he laughed so hard that he couldn't breathe. I sighed and took the phone from him when he handed it to me. "Cuminmywetpussy?! Seriously, you guys suck." I texted back to Jon that he was a fucking asshole.

I thought for a moment and was suddenly struck by an idea. I typed it into the username space and turned the laptop back to Dave. "How about this?"

"Barwench1859. I can get behind that. It’s kinda cute and it does fit you decently. The number is just this street address, yeah?" I nodded. "Alright then, now we just need to write something about you. Don’t worry, I got this, and I promise I won’t be a dick about it.”

He began typing, surprisingly fast, like he knew exactly what to say without really thinking about it. I was glad that he knew me so well, but also afraid at what he could be saying about me.

“Hey, while I’m here, could you grab me those DVDs I lent you months ago?”

“Yeah, no problem.” I moved over to the TV and bent over to rummage through my movie box. I found his DVDs quickly, but before I turned around, I hear the shutter noise on his phone.

“That’ll make a great profile picture,” he said.

“Are you kidding me? David! Did you just take a picture of my ass?” I spun around to face him with a look that was a mix of angry and horrified. “You can’t put that online!” He just laughed at me.

“I’m kidding, I won’t use it! Do you have any good pictures of you though?”

“Yeah, there’s some in a folder on my laptop. Objectively, they are all very nice, but you can pick the one to use because I’ll just find something wrong with them like chicks often do.”

He spent a few more minutes uploading the photo and finalizing my profile. “Would you like to look it over before I submit it?”

“Definitely. After the jokes you’ve made tonight, for all I know, you just wrote “I need dick” in the text box.”

He handed me my laptop and I read through what he wrote:

_I’m a young attractive woman who can mix a hell of a Long Island Iced Tea. I’m often hard on myself, but if I just listened to my friends, I’d realize that I’m pretty awesome. I love wrestling, perhaps a bit too much, but if you tell me it’s stupid, I’ll dropkick you in the face. I’m not particularly adventurous, but if hanging out and marathoning Breaking Bad while eating pizza and then getting frisky in between episodes sounds like your idea of a great night, hit me up and let’s chat._

I smiled to myself and hit the submit button. I closed the laptop and leaned over to kiss David on the cheek. “Thanks, man. You’re a really good friend.”


	13. Lessons in How to Get Laid

There are two things that I have learned from using the online dating site for the past two weeks. One, it’s good to be a chick on there. I was so stunned and flattered by the number of messages that I received in the first day let alone the full two weeks. I would look forward to checking my inbox every day. Two, 95% of those messages are from dudes like Chad. I read through each message, but most were more or less asking to meet up later that night. Many of them at least had enough class, I suppose, to not specifically write “for sex” in the message, but why else would you ask a stranger whose picture you’ve seen on the internet to meet without a little written back and forth first if it weren’t for casual one-night-only sex? I mean, fuck, it’s not like my profile was screaming “I’m a horny bitch who needs your dick tonight”. Sure, Dave put in the little bit about getting frisky, but I thought that was more to be playful and allude to the whole friends with benefits thing that I was looking for.

Probably the most common message I got went something like this:

_Hey. I like your profile. When do you want to meet up tonight?_

Really, guy? Did you even read my profile? Probably not. Did it say message me for meet-up times? Nope. Yes I wasn’t looking to fall in love with anyone, but I was trying to build some sort of friendship. Is that too much to ask?

I did manage to get a few responses from people who seemed interested in chatting for a while in the attempt to cultivate a mental connection before having a physical one. I responded to those people and some of them seemed to be rather promising so far. I was excited and hopeful that this would work out.

I felt oddly nervous waiting at the airport for Jon. It had only been about a month since I had last seen him, but I felt like it was the first day of school. I had even spent an hour choosing what to wear to pick him up. That’s just absurd. I sat on a bench in the line of sight of the gate he said he’d be exiting from. I rocked back and forth, anxiously, twiddling my thumbs and trying to control the large grin on my face.  I must’ve looked like an absolute fool. I sat there for what felt like hours, in my own little world, so much that I didn’t notice a pair of large dirty sneakers approach me.

“That’s a pretty sweet Mankind impression you’ve got there.”

I snapped my head up and my grin became a permanent fixture on my face as I stared at him in front of me. He smiled back, genuinely, and thumped himself down next to me on the bench, letting his bag lean against his knee. He yawned and stretched his arms upward.

“Are you tired? Do you want to go take a nap at my apartment before we grab some food?” I asked.

“Nah,” he replied, wrapping an arm around my neck and wrenching it in. The gesture threw me off balance and I slumped against him in an uncomfortable position where my head was over his heart.

“I slept a little on the plane, so I’m good. We have a lot of work to do anyway, if we want to get you laid tonight.” Even he couldn’t say that with a straight face.

I blushed in response. “Oh, we’re still doing that?”

“Hell yeah. Unless you really don’t want to? I promise it’ll be fun. I mean, come on, it’s me.”

“Well you are Mr. Funtimes.” I tried to look up at him through his headlock on me. “Yeah yeah, I’ll play along. So what did you have in mind, exactly?”

He released me from his hold and a sly grin crept onto his face.

* * *

“And his left nut was hanging out of his trunks for like two minutes!”

“That’s just ridiculous,” I replied, laughing. We had been having a nice little lunch at a sandwich shop in the mall that we had gone straight to from the airport. I had offered to stop back at my place for him to drop his luggage off and change clothes, if he had wanted to, but he refused.

I loved listening to him telling me about his road stories. Goofy ribs that he, Seth, and Roman would play on each other, crazy mishaps in the ring or backstage, and stories about overzealous fans. He was such a good storyteller that I could listen to him for hours. In between his stories, I filled him in on how the internet search for a sex buddy was going. He seemed glad that I had a few bright prospects, but still insisted on bringing me out that night.

When we had finished eating, he checked his phone for a moment before putting it back in his pocket and standing up. I followed suit and took our trash to the bin. He grabbed my wrist when I was done at the bin and led me through the crowds of people. I had been to this mall many times before, but I wasn’t quite sure where he was bringing me. He walked through the sea of people fluidly, like he knew exactly where he was going. I assumed he must’ve been looking at a map of it on his phone moments ago. He finally slowed down and stopped in front of a store. He slowly turned around and looked at me, grinning.

“Please, no. Don’t make me go in there.”

The store was called Haute Bodies. It specialized in overpriced “trendy” clothing and was clearly not meant for someone like me.

“No! It’s so douchey!” I pleaded, but it was no use.

“Lesson one. Stop being so judgmental. If you find something to hate about anyone who approaches you, or if you refuse to pursue anyone yourself because they look a certain way or are drinking something that you don’t like, you’re never going to succeed at getting stuck real good.”

“You’re so classy, professor,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

He just smiled at me and continued on inside the store, dragging me along. As soon as we stepped over the threshold, my nose was assaulted with the stench of all sorts of body sprays mixed together. It was like walking into a wall of musk. I could barely hear Jon, let alone hear myself think amidst the blaring Top 40 music playing in the store. I could not figure out how the employees managed to work here without hearing loss or insanity.

Jon stopped to look around for a moment before leading me into a section toward the back of the store. Everything in this section looked so tiny and clingy. I’d never be able to wear crap like this. What the hell was he thinking? I lifted one of the tags and glanced at it.

“Clubwear?” I asked.

“Yeah. Think of it as fancy skank dresses,” he answered.

“Dude, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something like this. I mean, look at me.”

“Well, bitch, you’re wearing it tonight. Just trust me on this.”

“Really. I should trust you when it comes to women’s fashion?”

“Nope. You should trust me when it comes to skank fashion. I’m an expert.” He turned toward me and flashed a cheesy smile.

“You’re the worst,” I said, smiling and shaking my head.

He poked around some of the racks before facing me. He pulled me against his body, holding my head into his chest, and pulled on the back of my shirt to check the size on the tag. He made a noise and let me go.

“Couldn’t you have just asked me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“I could have,” he replied. “But I like to do things the hard way.” He continued to search through the racks, seemingly looking for something very specific.

“Can I help you look for anything in particular?” A very pretty young woman approached us, smiling, although I could tell it was the strained smile of someone who works in retail. I was about to answer her when Jon suddenly spoke.

“Oh no, honey,” he answered her in an offensively stereotypical gay male voice. The color dropped out of my face and my eyes widened. “I’m just helping give my girlfriend here a fabulous makeover!”

The woman smiled at him and turned to look at me. “Aren’t gay best friends the greatest?” she whispered to me like it was a secret.

“Oh. Yes. They’re wonderful,” I said in a monotone voice. She gave us a small bow and went to go assist other customers.

I grabbed his t-shirt by the shoulder and pulled his face down to mine. “What the fuck was that?” I said through gritted teeth.

He chuckled to himself and said, “Would you rather have that chick help you find a skanky outfit or me?” I grunted in response. He finally pulled a black dress off the rack and nodded his approval. “Okay, let’s go have you try this on.”

I stared at the dress in my hands as I stood in one of the dressing rooms. It was in a back section, separated from the rest of the store, so I’d at least have some privacy when I opened the door to let him see. I didn’t trust myself to like the way I looked in it, no matter what, so I assumed that I’d have to let him have final approval and I’d just go with it. I got undressed and started to put the dress on. The fabric was slightly stretchy, so there was at least some give to it as I scooted it up my body. I was right; it was definitely clingy, as it snuggly hugged my hips and butt. Once I had it all the way up and my arms through the straps, I looked at myself in the mirror. It had a deep V cut that went all the way down to my navel and was covered by a sheer fabric so it was “modest”, but you could still pretty much see everything. The bottom of the dress sat at around the middle of my thighs and had two small cutouts on the hips. I looked utterly raunchy.

“Hey Jon, you out there?” I called out. He answered, so I opened the door a crack. “Could you stick your hands in here and pull up the zipper for me? I can’t quite reach it. This dress is just so damn tight.”

I felt his hands on my back zipping up the dress, but then I heard the door click closed. I turned around startled, to see him standing behind me in the tiny dressing room.

“You’re not supposed to be in here!” I loudly whispered.

“Eh, it’s not like anyone noticed.”

“That’s not the point,” I started before he put his finger against my lips.

He moved his finger from my mouth to my collarbone, lightly tracing down the V-cut of the dress all the way down one side and back up the other. “You look so damn fuckable in this dress. I might not need to do anything else to help you.” I laughed, knowing that it had been my brain that had caused my problems before, not my choice in outfit. “Turn around and let me see the back.”

I pivoted and faced the back wall. He let out a low whistle. “Really?” I asked with doubt in my voice.

“Really. So much in fact,” he moved forward so that he was pressing my body against the wall with his own, “that I think I need to do something about it right now.”

“Here? In public? We can’t do that. What if we’re caught?” I exclaimed in a whisper.

“Why not here? Don’t worry, we won’t be caught. They expect people to have sex in here. Why do you think the obnoxious music is so damn loud?”

“You are so full of crap,” I replied. He grabbed my ass through the dress and I had to stifle a small moan. “We, uh, still really shouldn’t. You know…hygiene…and stuff.”

“You don’t sound entirely convinced of your argument, Miss Lana.”

“I would be more certain if your hands weren’t so large, Mr. Ambrose.” He squeezed again and then slid the dress up over my bottom. I heard him lower his zipper and felt his warm length when it pressed against one of my cheeks. “A-ha! We can’t because you don’t have a-” I heard the sound of foil being torn. “-condom. You’re evil.” I pressed my forehead against the wall in defeat.

“I’m the devil, bitch, and you love it.”

He bit my ear hard as he pulled my panties to the side and entered my pussy. I gasped slightly, as I wasn’t quite warmed up for him yet. He went slowly at first, kissing the back of my neck and occasionally dotting them with tiny bites. As I became more aroused, he picked up the pace of his thrusts, but made sure not to go too hard in case someone came around and could hear us. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and wrenched my head back so that I could look into his eyes. That familiar lustful look was painted on his face and it made my stomach clench. I had missed this feeling.  Whatever the source of it was, it clearly hadn’t been there with Chad, but hopefully I could find it while out tonight.

He bit my lower lip and I craned my neck out so that our lips touched in a full kiss. He tugged harder on my hair and a quiet moan slipped out into his mouth. He pulled away from the kiss and brought his face to my ear.

“You are so fucking filthy. Getting fucked in a public place, like a good little slut. You naughty girl. I should spank you later to teach you a lesson.” My mouth was open and my face contorted in ecstasy as he spoke. He took the hand that had held my hair and hooked two fingers into my mouth. “Do you like it? Do you love when I fuck your tight pussy?” I nodded while gasping out a few yeahs in response. “Do you want me to make you cum?”

“Yes please…” I moaned.

He suddenly pulled his dick out of me and pulled my dress back down over my ass.

“Wait…what?” I breathed out hard, still frustrated and horny.

“That was just a primer for later. I gotta get you all hot and bothered so that your pussy overrides your brain when you will undoubtedly try to over-think things.”

I hit him in the arm several times and he laughed at me as he removed the condom and zipped himself back up. “Get changed so we can get out of here.” He snuck back outside of the fitting room and I switched back into my street clothes. Once I was out of the dress, I opened up the door a crack and threw it at Jon, shooting him a look.

Once I was dressed and ready, we headed to the counter. We both went to pull out our wallets, but he was faster and handed the young woman his credit card.

“No, Jon, don’t. Let me pay for it,” I insisted, a hint of frustration in my voice.

 “Nah, I got this. My treat,” he replied. I opened my mouth to argue with him about it, but he held his hand up to stop me. “Will you let me be nice for once?” he said, cocking his head to the side. I pursed my lips and sighed. I never really liked when a guy paid for stuff, but on the bright side, it would make my bank account happy and it really was a nice gesture. A tiny smile formed on my face.

* * *

Once we pulled out of the parking garage for the mall, he directed me to our next destination. It was a beauty salon. He left to go walk around the city for a bit while I had my hair washed and set into some large curlers. I actually really enjoyed the final look once my hair was dry. My hair hung around my neck in big soft curls. It was quite feminine and although I wouldn’t want to spend the time doing it every day, I thought it looked pretty good on me. It was something to keep in mind if I ever had a formal event to go to.

Once my hair was all set, another woman dealt with my make-up. I told her to go easy on it, that I’d prefer a natural look, but she insisted that the man who had booked the appointment had given her specific instructions on the look I was to receive. How much bloody planning did he put into this? I think I may have gotten into a relationship with a madman. I cringed, thinking of what I’d end up looking like by the end of this.

As the cosmetologist was finishing up, I saw Jon enter the salon, do a quick search for me, and smile brightly when he did finally spot me. Damn it. That’s the sort of stuff that makes me feel funny inside. The kind of funny that I hadn’t felt in a long time and really didn’t want to feel again. He approached the two of us and took a look at her work. She turned to acknowledge him and he gave her the thumbs up. I assumed I must look pretty good, then. Or Jon’s just an asshole and I look like a clown hooker.

“You do good work, miss,” he nodded in approval as he turned to go pay yet again. I looked over into the large salon mirror and smiled at my reflection. I don’t normally consider myself very ladylike, but I looked soft and feminine and, dare I say it, beautiful. He’d better let me pay for breakfast in the morning.

* * *

We headed back to the apartment for some food and for me to finish getting ready to go out. I had made sure not to make something messy for dinner and risk ruining the make-up. I turned around to get changed and when I turned back around to slide on my black flats, Jon was wearing a pair of clean black slacks and a navy blue button-up shirt. He looked downright dashing. It was kind of weird.

“You look so sharp and classy,” I said as I moved toward him and smoothed out his collar with my hands. “It’s very deceitful. I can’t say I don’t like it, but I already sort of miss the jeans.”

“Yeah, I know, but these places usually have some sort of dress code. I always have to have something nice to wear on me in case the boss insists on us looking formal for some reason, so here you go.” I wasn’t entirely paying attention to him as I ran my finger down the buttons on his shirt. He really did look amazing, even if I usually preferred the more casual look. “Alright, first things, first. We’re going to stop down at the bar so you can show off,” he said. That snapped me back to reality quick.

“No way! Going to a nightclub full of strangers is one thing, but everyone knows me down there and I look too embarrassing!”

“Okay, here’s your second lesson. Confidence really is everything. As much as guys like me don’t really want to admit that. Whenever those girly magazines like Cosmo mention projecting confidence as a way to “snag a man”, they’re being right for once. So if you can go downstairs, take off that coat, and order a drink without feeling ashamed, you should have no problem doing the same thing later.”

I nodded. He was actually making sense.

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that I want to throw back a couple drinks before we go to the overpriced bar,” he added, laughing. I grabbed my purse and he pushed me out the door.

I hesitantly stepped through the door of the bar, my head angled down as to avoid eye contact. It didn’t look very busy, but a lot of the regular Wednesday customers were strewn around the room and seated at the bar. David spotted me almost immediately.

“Hey guys, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight! I thought you were going to some club or something.”

“We are, but he made me stop here first.”

I sighed and took my coat off, handing it to Jon behind me. Dave’s eyes widened as he crossed his arms and stared. When Larry saw his reaction, he turned and looked at me as well. After a few moments, the entire room was staring. I cleared my throat and tried to hide my embarrassment as I walked to the bar to have a seat. Jerkface stayed back at the door, waiting and watching.

“I would like a Heineken and a rum and coke, please.” I tried to maintain an air of coolness while I ordered, but it was very hard to not break out a smile in response to Dave’s goofy grin.

“Yes ma’am!” he said with an eyebrow wiggle. I hid my face in my hands, trying so hard not to laugh. I suddenly felt a hand on my lower back.

“Hey miss, I haven’t seen you around here before. Would you mind if I bought you a drink and maybe we could get to know each other?” I looked up at Larry, my lips quivering, barely holding on to the fit of giggles that were ready to burst through. “Oh, it’s you, Lana!” he exclaimed with fake surprise. I punched him in the arm and gave up on holding back.

“You’re all jerks!” I said as I laughed with him. The drinks were placed in front of me and that’s when Jon came to stand next to me. He drank down his beer in one long motion, slammed the bottle back down, and let out a noise that sounded part satisfied and part agitated. He tossed a twenty toward David and I grabbed for it, but Dave snatched it up before I could. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders when I glared at him.

“I don’t think the chick should have to pay on the first date,” he said.

“Ha ha, well the joke’s on you cause this isn’t a date,” I shot back. I noticed Dave try to discreetly wink at Jon, so I turned to look up at him and noticed his impish grin. “Wait, does this count as a date?”

He cracked his knuckles and glanced down at me. “You’d better finish the drink up while the night is young.” He handed me my coat and went to wait outside while I guzzled down my drink.

I placed the glass in front of me and stood up, adjusting the bottom hem of the dress.  As I walked toward the exit, I turned back to Dave and pointed at him. “I’m blaming you if this night goes down in flames, sir!”

Once I got outside, Jon took one last drag of the cigarette he was working on and stubbed it out on the ground. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, let me grab my keys,” I said while I reach into my purse.

He placed his hand on mine to stop me. “We don’t need the car. There’s a place just a few blocks from here and that is where we will be going.”

“You really thought a lot about this.”

“Of course I did. I’m your bang coach tonight.”

We walked for about a block before he stopped and reached into his pocket. “I almost forgot about this.” He pulled out a thin silver chain and clasped it around my neck. I grabbed at the small charm on it. It was a silver oval with a gold J written on it.

I looked up at him without lifting my head. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s not expensive or anything, so don’t worry. I saw it while you were having your hair done.”

“A J, though?”

“So the dudes you end up banging always know that they’re just borrowing you from me for the night.”

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. “But those random skanks aren’t borrowing you from me?” He responded by pointing to his ear. I hadn’t noticed that he had changed out his usual earring to a tiny gold L stud. “Touché, coach,” I said with a sheepish smile as he wrapped his arm around my waist and we continued on our way.


	14. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

We had been at the bar for about an hour. It was called Club Nice-Nice, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. I had already had two drinks by then and man, Jon wasn't lying about them being overpriced. Still, I was feeling good so far. I was staying fairly cool and collected. We had been scoping out the landscape, seeing if there were any guys I was interested in before I tried to make my move. I spotted a few guys who piqued my interest and after observing them for a while, they all looked straight and unattached, so I was already ahead of the game compared to the last time I tried this.

In the short time that we had been here, I had no one approach me, while Jon had three women and one man. Thankfully, he politely declined them, informing them that tonight he was here with his girlfriend. This gesture made me smile each time, which only made it more painful when each of the women looked around the club and asked where is she? So much for lesson number two. The confidence that I had built up while showing off at work was waning. However, I did manage to get a little esteem boost after Jon declined the man, because he realized that I was said girlfriend immediately and even complimented me.

Despite the rude bitches, I still felt much better than last time. Having him here with me definitely helped my nerves.

"Okay, I'm relaxed, confident, and ready to go after victim number one," I declared. "What should I say after I get his attention? Last time I approached a single guy on my own, I rambled about how you were good in bed."

He laughed at me and I swore I could see a little pink in his cheeks. "I thank you for that, but that sure as hell won't help you get into their pants." He stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He lowered his mouth to my ear to whisper the game plan. "Okay, so all you have to do is casually walk up to him and say this." He gave me a pick-up line to use and I turned back to look at him, incredulously.

"Really? That?"

"Is it any worse than 'Nice shoes, wanna fuck?'" I growled in agitation, took one last sip from my drink, and marched over to the man I was targeting.

He was on the shorter side, maybe 5'6" or so. He was at least a few inches shorter than me. He was well proportioned, though, so his small stature didn't bother me at all. He had golden brown hair that looked very soft. I wanted to touch and smell it, but that is a very creepy thing to tell a stranger. I came up behind him and presented my line.

"My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them?" I heard him almost choke on his drink before he turned around and stared at me. "I'm sorry, that's a horrible line I was told to use. I just really like your hair, so I wanted to talk to you."

He chuckled and smiled up at me. "That's perfectly fine. I'm glad you like my hair. I try to take good care of it."

"Would you like to sit down and get to know each other?"

"I'm sorry. You're very pretty and all, and that dress is bonkers, but I'm only interested in women under 5'4"," he explained.

"Seriously? You're going to cut out a huge percentage of women because they're your height or taller? Are you that insecure, dude? What is your freaking problem?" The guy clenched his fists and looked like he might explode at any moment when I was suddenly dragged away from the situation by Jon.

"Okay, that was going well, but if you get turned down, you have to stay calm. Even if it is for a bullshit reason. There's another lesson for you."

I sighed. "And he was so cute, too." I looked down at my empty glass and bit my finger. "Would you mind grabbing me another one of these? I'm clearly thinking too much."

"No problem, El. Oh, and stick with that finger biting thing. It's kinda sexy." He got up to go order me another drink.

I continued to chew on my fingertip, not because he told me to, but because I was lost in thought about how I should approach the next guy. I was so entrenched in my own world that I didn't notice an attractive older man appear next to me.

"May I buy you a drink, gorgeous?" He asked. I continued staring ahead, completely unaware of him. "Excuse me, miss?" I saw a hand wave in front of my face and I was jolted back to Earth.

"Wha?" I said, intelligently.

"I asked if I may buy you a drink."

"Oh. No, it's okay, my boyfriend is already grabbing me one." I returned to chewing on my finger as the man sighed and left.

"What was that all about?" Jon asked as he placed my fresh drink in front of me.

"Oh, that dude asked if he could buy me a drink, but I said you were getting me one." He reached forward and smacked me on the back of the head. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"

"You should know that asking for a drink is a way to initiate conversation. You work at a fucking bar, Lana."

"Oh. Oh! Oh no! Where did he go? I'm going to go tell him that I'll have that drink now!"

He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back down as I rose from my seat. "Bitch, you can't go asking him for it now! What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked rhetorically while he laughed.

"Ah, I'm just in my head now because of that guy who basically said I'm too tall."

"Well get the fuck out of your head fast because it's making you stupid." I rolled my eyes and smirked at his comment. "Alright, I'm going to go outside for a smoke. Do you want to come with me or stay here?" he asked.

"I'll stay here and try to get my head back in the game."

He kissed me on the cheek and slapped me on the shoulder as he left. It made me feel like an odd combination of lover and bro. Brover? Nah, that's really dumb. I started to giggle at my ridiculous word invention. I must have looked like a real weirdo sitting alone and laughing to myself. I focused on my drink, trying to move past my two strikes. The club didn't close for a couple hours, so I still had plenty of time. A few minutes passed and I started to feel relaxed again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around expecting to see Jon, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was someone new that seemed interested in me. He must have been charmed by my creepy laughing at nothing.

"Hey cutie, would you like to dance?" he asked.

I looked over at the dance floor and felt a rush of nerves sweep over me. All those hot, sticky bodies writhing all over each other…I definitely didn't belong in there, right? I looked back at the guy. He had dark brown hair that was cut very short, but looked good on him. His shirt was very tight and he looked quite fit underneath. His skin was the color of smooth melted caramel and I kind of wanted to know if it tasted the same way. It might be fun to dance with this guy and see what happens. I took another sip of my drink and decided to go for it. "Yes please!"

The music was not really my kind of thing, but the repetitive thumping bass did easily lend itself to dancing. The guy placed his hands on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck as we started swaying our hips to the beat. I was sandwiched so close between other people that I could feel the heat radiating off of their bodies. There were so many people in every direction around me that I was often touched by a stray hand or hip. Any other time I would probably have felt violated, but right now it felt oddly erotic.

"So what's your name, cutie?" the guy yelled over the loud music.

"Lana," I projected. "You?"

"Andre."

He slipped his fingers through the cutouts on my thigh. His fingers felt soft and his nails slightly dug into my skin. I felt my breathing getting heavier from his touch and the intense heat around me. I felt a little guilty and turned my head to see if Jon had come back inside. I saw him sitting at the table we had shared, but now that he was alone, he was surrounded by those same three girls from earlier and this time he was chatting them up. Any guilt I had vanished. If he was able to hit on chicks when I was around then there was nothing wrong for me crudely dancing with Andre here. I saw Jon glance over at me and he smiled. I winked back and returned my focus to the piece of man in front of me.

"What were you looking at?" he asked.

"Ahh…nothing important," I said. I didn't want to risk him abandoning me if I told him I had a boyfriend. I was winning at this game right now and it felt good.

Andre took one of his hands off my hip and ran a finger down the sheer fabric covering my breasts. "Your titties look amazing in this, girl."

In any other situation, I would've rolled my eyes and left at his crass comment, but right now it made me feel sexy and I was loving it. He slightly cupped his hand around one of my breasts like he was testing the water. I pushed myself closer to him so that I was firmly in his palm. "Ooh, you're eager. I like that in a woman."

"You have strong hands. I like that in a man," I said, wickedly grinning at how easy this seemed to be coming to me. Maybe all I needed was to find the right guy. He gently kneading his fingers into my flesh and rubbed his thumb over my nipple as it started to harden in his hand. I tried to stifle a moan, but it came out anyway. If I hadn't felt slutty before, I sure did now, but I was feeling too good to care.

He grabbed me by the waist and turned me around, returning one hand to my chest and the other to my stomach. He continued to work his hand over the thin fabric of the dress. I was enjoying his touch so much that I barely noticed his other hand slowly sliding down my front until it hovered over my pussy. He stroked my upper thigh, the very tips of his fingers barely grazing my increasingly sensitive area. I was really starting to feel dangerously aroused.

"I want to make your pussy purr, baby," he moaned into my ear.

He started to grind his pelvis into my lower back and he was so damn hard that it almost hurt. I leaned my head back on his shoulder and looked up at him, obvious lust clouding my eyes. He looked back down at me and then I saw his eyes scrunch up. He moved his hand up from my thigh and grabbed the J charm around my neck.

"What's this, baby? What's the J stand for?"

"That's a gift from my boyfriend," I casually replied, thinking nothing of it.

"You have a boyfriend and he let a pretty thing like you out to a place like this? If you were my girl, I'd never let you out of my sight."

"He insisted I come here."

"Oh really? Is he here right now?"

I turned my head to the side to look back over at the table Jon had been sitting at. It was empty.

"Nope," I answered, honestly feeling a little disappointed that he had left with one of those girls. Or maybe all three. I shook the thought out of my head, as it was ruining the high I was feeling.

Andre tightened his grip on the charm. "Then he's not your boyfriend tonight, baby." He sharply yanked on the charm and it easily snapped off my neck. "I'm going to fuck you so good," he said as he let the necklace slip through his fingers to the floor.

"My apartment isn't far from here," I stated.

"I can't wait that long. Come with me." He squeezed my ass as he walked in front of me. He grabbed my hand and guided me toward the club restroom. It looked awfully sleazy from the outside, but I did know that skanky club sex was apparently a thing. I followed him willingly, deciding that it would be an interesting new experience for me.

The bathroom didn't look any better on the inside. It didn't look like it had been cleaned recently and there was crudely written graffiti covering the walls. There was a condom machine on the wall, so that was a positive addition, but it also meant that the club assumed that people would be having sex in here, which you’d think they would not want to encourage.

He pushed me into the largest stall and fished through his pocket for some change to buy a condom. I looked around the stall and noticed a fairly large hole in the wall that separated it from the next stall. "Well I'll be damned," I said under my breath. I guess gloryholes really do exist. Eww, do people actually use them? That's a level of sex with strangers that I could never get behind.

"You still hot and horny, baby?" Andre asked as he stood in the doorway of the stall. His fly was already open and his erect cock was sticking out of the opening.

I was about to open my mouth to answer him when we heard the restroom door swing open. "What do you want, dude?" Andre started to say before a large fist cracked against his jaw and he slumped to the ground. Jon stepped over his slack body and stared at me with eyes that had a mix of fire and ice behind them. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of them.

"What the fuck, Jon? I was just about to fuck that guy! Wasn't that the entire point of all of this?" I gestured to my dress and face.

He didn't respond, he only continued to stare, so I pushed past him and back into the main floor. I briskly walked to the exit, just wanting to go home and get out of this stupid dress. I was so confused. I was having fun and about to enjoy the benefits of our strange relationship and he just barged in and stopped it from happening? Fuck him.

I grabbed my coat from the coat-check girl and headed outside. The shock of the cool night air helped clear my head a bit and sober me up. I started to walk back to my apartment, horny, frustrated, and pissed off.

I had gone about a block when I heard Jon's voice in the distance behind me. "Lana!"

I looked behind myself as I continued to walk. "Don't talk to me right now, I'm too pissed off,” I called back.

“Stop walking away from me!” I heard him start to run after me, so I began to run myself, but this outfit didn't lend itself to athletics and he was much faster than I. He grabbed my shoulder when he caught up to me another block away.

“What’s your fucking problem?” he yelled as I spun around and pushed his hand off of me.

“What’s my fucking problem? What’s your fucking problem? What did you think you were doing back there? Is there a cheat sheet available for your brain because I really don’t understand what the fuck you’re thinking right now. You want to be with me, but you also want to be with other chicks. You want me to fuck other guys, but then when I’m almost there with one, you break his fucking jaw? I don’t get it! I don’t get you right now! So I’ll ask it again, what’s your fucking problem?”

My heart was beating hard in my chest. It felt like it was going to hammer right out of me. My body was shaking with fury and I wasn’t about to try to hide it. The rush of adrenaline flowing through my body made me feel really good. I glared into those beautiful eyes that only reflected back the hate that I gave them. We stood there for a moment, silent and motionless. The music from the club echoed in the cool air around us.

He was the first one to move. He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled something out. He stared at it for a moment and I saw something briefly change in his eyes. He then tightened his fist around it before throwing it at me and storming off toward my apartment.

I looked down at the ground and saw something shimmering in the streetlight. I bent down to pick it up and as soon as I felt it in my fingers, my heart sunk. I opened up my hand and there sitting in my palm was the broken necklace. I felt like shit. I hadn’t really thought about it when Andre snapped it from my neck and by this point, I had honestly forgotten about it. Was this really why he lashed out?

I turned around and started to follow him, calling out to him just like he had to me moments ago.

“Jon! Wait up!” He didn’t slow down his pace. His long stride made it even more difficult to catch up with him. I broke into a run again until I finally reached him. “Is this why you punched that guy?” He didn’t say anything. He just continued to look straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge me. “Did this really mean that much to you? We can replace the necklace,” I gasped out as I tried to catch my breath from sprinting to him.

 Without any warning, he stopped, turned around and grabbed me by the shoulders. In one fluid movement, he spun me around and pushed me down a dark quiet alley, slamming my back against the wall. He kept his hands firmly on my shoulders and roughly kissed me. He finally broke away from my mouth and just stood there quietly with his head down. All I could hear was the sound of us breathing. I could feel the warm moisture of his breath through the sheer fabric covering my chest. If I hadn't been confused before, I certainly was now, but I didn't dare ask him what he was thinking.

"That guy was an asshole. He didn't deserve to have you."

"Just because he broke the necklace you gave me? You're normally so cool and laid back, I didn't think you were taking it that seriously."

He lifted his head and locked his eyes with mine. I couldn't see them very well in the dim light, but they looked different. The usual lusty fire was there, but there was also some anger, and perhaps a bit of sadness. I couldn’t be quite sure.

"Take off your panties," he ordered, his eyes unblinking. I wanted to question his request as we were outside in a venue that was not particularly erotic, but I didn't dare open my mouth. He placed his hands on the wall so I could move. I lifted my dress up a few inches and tugged my lacy special occasion panties down to my ankles so I could step out of them. I quickly glanced up at him and saw that he had never moved his intense gaze from me. My skin prickled, knowing that he was watching my every move. I stood back up with my panties hanging between my fingers and he snatched them away. He brought them up to his nose and breathed them in.

"You were really turned on by him, weren't you? You really wanted to fuck him, didn't you?" He pressed his body flush against mine. He felt tense all over. He pushed my panties under my nose. "Smell them. Smell how ready you were to fuck another man."

I breathed in slowly on his command and he growled low in his throat. I know he said that he got off on the idea of me with another man, but I hadn't actually had sex with the guy. After tonight’s strange incident, I questioned if it was that he liked the fantasy of it, or perhaps the act of me chasing another man, but not the idea of me actually going through with it.

"That's right. I was ready to let him fuck me and I thought that’s what you wanted me to do, but clearly I was wrong."

He grabbed my face with his large hand and held it tightly. "I do want that. I want that so fucking bad. Seeing you out there grinding on that guy. Shit, Lana, I was so fucking hard. I want you to enjoy experiencing other people.  Just not tonight with that dickhole. He lost his privilege to borrow you when he tore up the library card.” I glanced down at my fist, still squeezing around the broken chain.

“That’s a great topical reference,” I said, a small smile stretching on my lips.

“Hey, don’t you get smart with me, bitch.” He squeezed my jaw with his fingers and smiled evilly back. “I’m going to grab a quick drink at your bar. I want you to go upstairs and wait for me, and you better be naked by the time I get up there or you’re in fucking trouble.”

* * *

I had only been waiting for a few minutes once I got back to the apartment. I decided that I was still a bit pissed at him for how he acted, so I was going to use that anger to provoke him and hopefully get some good sex out of it. To start off, I was still fully dressed. I had even kept my coat on.  I sat on the edge of the windowsill and waited for him to come back upstairs.

Within a few moments, the door burst open and there he stood. As soon as he realized that I was clothed, he laughed softly. “You must really want it bad, huh?”          

“Well when you cunt blocked me like that, I knew I was going to have to get it from somewhere else. I suppose you’re the next best thing.”

“Oh really? Next best thing, huh?” His eyes narrowed and he slowly rubbed his hands together as he stepped toward me. There was an eerie calmness about him. “You know, there’s still the business about how you let that guy break the necklace I gave you.”

I cocked my head to the side, feigning ignorance. “Hmm? What about it?”

“I had hoped that the necklace would be like a nice symbol, or something. Of like, our relationship and trust and stuff.”

“You are so articulate when you talk about your feelings. You’re so cute. Like a baby deer standing for the first time.”

By now he was standing right in front of me. He bent his head to either side, cracking the tension in his neck. I had to admit that it looked kind of intimidating. It took all of my resolve to keep a poker face on. I stood up straight and brushed past him, casually moving toward the small waste basket in the room. I pulled the J necklace out of my coat pocket and held it up behind my head. “Well, it happened and there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s just trash now.” I moved it over the can and dropped it in. “I suppose it always was.” I waited a beat to see if he was at all fazed by this.

I turned around and barely had a second to breath before Jon practically tackled me against the wall. The thud of us crashing against the wall reverberated throughout the room and probably the neighbors’ rooms, too. He used his body to prevent me from trying to get around him, not that I wanted to anyway. “Are you really going to say shit like that to me?” he asked while he hastily tried to pull my coat off. I moved my arms around, trying to help him out. I kicked off my flats, sending them across the room. Once my coat dropped to the floor, he grabbed my throat, holding me against the wall with just the right amount of pressure. His mouth was open slightly and I could see his tongue peeking from between his teeth. I wanted to feel it in my mouth and taste whatever he had drank downstairs.

“Kiss me, mother fucker,” I spat out with what air I had left. He roughly pressed his lips against mine, unceremoniously shoving his tongue into my mouth. Whiskey. I really should have guessed. The smoky taste still lingered in his mouth and I relished it, wanting more.

He pulled away from me and spun me around, pinning me against the wall again. I felt his fingers pull down the zipper to the dress. He slid both straps off my shoulders and yanked hard on the rest of the dress till it was peeled completely off of me. I hadn’t worn a bra with the dress since it was so tight that it didn’t need one and I had never put my panties back on after the incident in the alley. I was completely naked and he hadn’t even removed his shoes.

“Get your slutty ass onto that bed,” he said as he stepped back, swatting at my backside as I casually made my way to my bed.

“Hey asshole, I’ve only ever really been with you or my vibrator for almost a year. You’re the fucking slut. I am a pure, chaste flower.”

“Pure and chaste, my ass,” he said while he followed me, unbuttoning his shirt.

I slapped his hands, scolding him. “Stop it. Bad!”

“Did you just talk to me like a little boy?”

“Well you were acting like one earlier, so…yeah.”

He pushed me hard in the chest and I toppled over onto my back. He roughly spread my legs and propped them up. He left a trail of bite marks up my inner thigh until his mouth reached my pussy. He lightly traced his tongue along my slit, teasing me, and I know he was taking delight in making me squirm. On any other night, I would have loved to be tortured and teased, but I was so worked up from the club that I needed it fast and furious.

I reached my hand down and smacked him on the head.

“Bitch, you are really pissing me off right now.”

“Good. Maybe you can use that anger to actually get me off.”

“Actually? Bitch, I’ve made you cum more times than you can remember!”

“I bet Andre could’ve made me cum a lot faster than you ever could.” He stopped and rested his head on my thigh, giving me a vicious look. “I bet he could’ve made me cum harder than you, too.”

“You really think that’s going to work on me?”

“Yep, because you can’t seem to back down from a challenge.”

“But you never actually had sex with him, so there’s nothing to challenge. Idiot.”

“True, but if I know you, you will just take it as a challenge to yourself. So go on, little boy. Wow me.”

The fire in his eyes sent a rush of butterflies through my stomach. I noticed him glance over at the close and mutter the time under his breath. He took one last glance at me and dove back in.

His tongue flicked and twisted between my lips and over my clit, bringing me quickly to a very enjoyable plateau. I would’ve been quite happy to have stayed there forever in that warm bliss. But without warning, he plunged two long fingers into my wet hole. I expected him to start to rapidly thrust in and out in an attempt to get me off faster, but he didn’t. He simply curled his fingertips upward and slowly rubbed them in circles. Every once in a while, he would press his fingers harder up into my wall. It felt good. Really good. I suddenly felt my orgasm building rapidly, my body gently quivering around his fingers. Without much of a warning for him, my head snapped back and my body arched upward, trying to somehow shove my pussy further into his mouth, as my nerves lit on fire throughout my body.

He slowly withdrew his fingers and looked back at the clock. “Three minutes. You really think Andre the giant douche could’ve made your pussy twitch like that?”

I was silent for a moment, trying to regain my breath and my sanity. He worked on removing his cock from his pants, pulling them down to the middle of his thighs so that his belt sat right under the curve of his ass. I lied there, panting, with an arm draped over my head. I heard him slip on a condom and felt him lift my legs, but I wasn’t quite pulled back into focus until he quickly slid his full length into me.

“I do hope you realize that you’re going to pay for everything you’ve said tonight.”

“Do your worst, asshole,” I said with an evil grin.

He started thrusting like a man possessed. His fingers dug deep into the soft flesh of my hips to hold me steady as he fucked my pussy raw. Within a few minutes, I was enjoying that same plateau as before. He smiled arrogantly down at my contorted expression and ran his tongue over his teeth.

“So what do you have to say to this, slut? Hmm?” He cupped a hand around his ear and leaned in.

I took a page from his book and gave him a soft cocky laugh. “I guess it’s pretty good for some white trash from Ohio.”

He immediately smacked me in the face and flipped me over onto my stomach. I couldn’t help but smile as he thrust his cock back inside of me. He raked his nails down my back over and over again, eliciting loud moans of pleasure and pain from me. My back felt warm and sensitive to the touch. I could feel the blood rising to the surface of my skin. He then wrapped a hand around my face, sticking his fingers in my mouth and gripping firmly onto my jaw. He used his other hand to vigorously rub my clit. I knew for sure that it would be sore in the morning.

The tension between my legs started to peak as soon as he touched my clit and not to long after, I came for a second time. He unleashed his own orgasm shortly thereafter, collapsing on top of me after a few sporadic thrusts. It had been a weird night, but I was glad that I was feeling the comforting sensation of his body weight on me by the end of it. Would it feel as comforting with another man?

He eventually picked himself up and went to the bathroom to clean up. I rolled over onto my side and looked toward the waste basket I had tossed the broken necklace into. Now that I was much calmer than before, seeing the silver chain hanging over the edge kind of made me a little sad. If it really meant that much, I’d have to find a way to make it up to him.

He came back from the bathroom and laid down behind me, an arm lazily draped over my hip. He ran a finger along my back, feeling the now swollen scratches that he had made. He laughed with his mouth closed so it was barely audible. He seemed quite proud of his work.

We shared out goodnights and I soon fell asleep, my mind clear of confusion.

For now, at least.


	15. Oh

The room was still dark when I woke up, but I could see hints of the morning light peeking through the window. I felt Jon’s fingers slowly tracing along my thigh and my lips pulled into a small smile. It felt so sweet and I sighed happily.

After being awake for a few moments though, the sleepy haze cleared from my brain and I was faced with the reality of the previous night. The sex had been great, that was a fact. My back still felt a bit raw from his excessive clawing and my muscles were sore.  But what did everything before that mean?

He had vaguely explained his feelings on that damn necklace. ‘A symbol of our relationship,’ he said. That’s a lovely gesture, but our relationship really wasn’t serious enough for him to get so worked up about it that he punched a stranger in the face…was it? I certainly didn’t think so. I looked forward to the time we spent together and I definitely liked him a lot, but if he were to tell me that he wanted to stop seeing me, I’d understand and be completely fine with it.

Right?

Ugh, dammit, the more I thought about it, the more jumbled and confused I felt. I would just have to ask him point blank where he thought our relationship was. I didn’t want to have to bring up something so serious this early in the morning, but if we were on different levels, we needed to know now.

I let out an audible sigh. He stopped moving his fingers and grabbed my thigh with his whole hand.

“How long have you been awake?” I asked.

“Maybe twenty minutes?” He propped up his head and rested his chin on my arm.

“And you’ve just been lying there?”

“Mmhmm. I was waiting for you to wake up.”

“Really?” I laughed. I shifted my body around so that I was lying on my back with my face turned toward his. “That’s…oddly sweet of you.” I raised my eyebrow at him suspiciously.

“Tch, I can be sweet,” he shot back, flashing that stupid charming smile at me.

“True, I’ll give you that. It just always feels horribly wrong when you do.” I mussed up his hair with my hand and flipped back over so that my back was facing him. “Speaking of horribly wrong…can we talk about what happened last ni-?”

“Before you go on,” he interrupted, “aren’t you going to ask me why I was waiting for you to wake up?”

I sighed and humored him. “Okay, why were you waiting for me to wake up?”

He didn’t respond. At least not verbally. I felt his lips brush against my shoulder and move up to my neck. His warm tongue peeked out just enough to leave a moist trail in its wake. His teeth latched onto my earlobe and tugged just enough for it to hurt a little. His hand wrapped around my hips and pulled me closer to him as I felt his morning wood press into my cheeks.

“Oh,” I whispered as I heard that arrogant laugh in my ear.

* * *

I had actually fallen asleep after morning sex. It was kind of funny. That had never happened to me before. I glanced at my phone and saw that I had only fallen asleep for a few minutes. I heard the shower running in the bathroom and assumed that Jon was in there and it wasn’t some stranger who had snuck into my apartment in order to use my shower. I hoped that he had left for the shower before I had actually fallen asleep because if he knew he had sent me into a mini sex coma, he’d never let me live it down.

I got up to get dressed after I heard the water being shut off. As much as I wanted to just stay in bed with him all day, that wasn’t really an option. Or maybe…? I glanced over my shoulder at the bed and sighed. No, I really shouldn’t. I pulled out a clean pair of panties and bent over to step into them, pulling them up as I did.

“You know, we really can’t keep meeting like this.”

I jumped up and spun around, surprised at how quietly he had emerged from the bathroom. He was smiling cheekily and rubbing a towel through his hair, with some loose fitting gym shorts slung low around his waist. I wanted to have a painting of him looking like that for my wall.

“It’s not my fault that you came in here at that exact moment,” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your ass.”

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t resist cracking a smile. “You really are a piece of work.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Love me or leave me, bitch.” He crossed the room and pulled out a fresh pair of socks from his suitcase.

I remained silent as I finished getting dressed. What he just said got me thinking again. It was probably just a throwaway phrase, but I was so tangled in my head since the previous night that I took it far more seriously than it was intended. I knew I didn’t love him. Not romantically. Not in the way that romantic comedies and Valentine’s Day cards like to preach. I was fairly certain that I loved him in a platonic sort of way. I enjoyed the time we spent together, sexually or otherwise. But was he trying to tell me that I should love him romantically and that if I didn’t, I needed to let him go?

That’s fucking stupid. Why would he be insinuating anything like that?

I knew I had to try to bring up the state of our relationship again. Talking about it would be the only way for me to shut off my stupid brain.

“So about last night…”

I wasn’t able to finish my sentence again because he pulled me into a quick kiss. When he let go, he stepped back, clapped me on the shoulder and headed for the door. “I’m going to go to that gym again for a workout.”

“Do you want me to drive you there?” I asked with an obvious look of disappointment on my face.

“Nah, it’s cool. I was going to run there for my cardio. I’ll be back later.” He quickly slipped through the door and I was left alone with my thoughts

I wasn’t entirely sure the first time, but now it was glaringly obvious that he was trying to avoid this conversation.  I rubbed my hands over my face and let out a frustrated grunt. I had to make sure that he didn’t leave tonight before I got this off my chest or I’d be a complete mess for the next month.

* * *

I tried to bring it up shortly after he came back two hours later. He quickly changed the subject to food and I had to admit that I was awfully hungry, too, so I caved again. We ended up going out for a late breakfast at one of those crowded brunch places, so I didn’t dare try to bring it up there in public. Honestly, that’s probably why he suggested we go there in the first place.

I tried to bring it up again a little while after we got back, but he somehow convinced me to listen to one of his ridiculous stories from the road and I got distracted. I’ll admit that I gave in too easily on that one. I’m a sucker for his stories and he knows it. That one was on me.

I went for a fifth time, but he distracted me with sex again. Yeah, that one was also on me, but can you really blame me?

I decided to wait a while for my final attempt. I had tried to bring it up enough times that I’m pretty sure he was constantly expecting it, so maybe if I waited a while, he’d think I’d have dropped the issue completely and he wouldn’t be prepared for me to throw it at him, point blank.

 After we had finished up an early dinner so that he could eat before his flight, I brought it up as he was throwing his stuff back into his suitcase. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time to discuss it with him, but I hoped that he’d be willing to get it out now since he knew that he had to leave.

“Are you in love with me?” I asked.

“What?” He started laughing and I actually felt a little offended. “Where did that come from?”

“Well, every time I’ve tried to start this conversation with “let’s talk about last night”, you change the subject and you’re so freaking charismatic that I let you.”

“So what can I say now that will let you let me get out of this?” I stared at him hard to try to get across how serious I was. “Okay then, let’s get this over with. Why are you asking that?”

“Because the way you acted last night about me and that guy going to have sex seemed uncharacteristic of you. I know you said last night that it was because he was a douche, as you so eloquently put it, but he looked kind of douchey from the beginning and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it when I looked over at you. You were smiling while he and I were dancing. But when we went to go do what you’ve been encouraging me to do, that’s when you suddenly decide he’s not right? Then you go and make the broken necklace out to be this huge deal. I’ve tried to figure out what it could mean and the only thing I could think of was that you’ve fallen in love with me, but don’t want to admit to it. So…is that it?”

He had a humored look on his face while I spoke and his eyebrows continued to rise the longer I talked. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. Don’t worry, I’m not in love with you. I think it’s funny that you were so concerned about this. I told you straight up from the beginning that I don’t do serious relationships.” He narrowed his eyes and looked at my suspiciously. “Why? Are you finally willing to admit that you’re in love with me?”

“No. …Wait, fuck you!” I playfully slapped his arm once I completely registered what he had said. “Okay fine, so if it wasn’t that, then why did you get so emotional about the broken necklace and it being a symbol of our relationship?”

“Well, I don’t love you, but I do think that you’re an important friend, so I thought it would be nice to get you a gift. I was emotional because I was really sad. That’s ten dollars that I’ll never get back.” He pretended to wipe away a tear.

“The necklace only cost you ten dollars?”

“I told you it was cheap.”

“You are ridiculous.” I smiled and shook my head as I turned around to open the door for him. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his arms.

“Look. We’ve been having fun together, right?” I nodded. “Neither of us wants a serious relationship, so let’s just continue to have fun together and not let any of that drama bullshit get in the way of a good time.”

“I...I can do fun.”

I felt his arms shift around so that he was now cupping both of my tits and felt his breath against my ear. It was a vicious combination. “And you and I know how to have a very good time together.” His low raspy voice always stirred something in me. A soft moan fell from my lips. I wanted him so badly right then.

“But I gotta go catch my flight, so I’ll see you next month.” He let go of me, grabbed his bag, and smacked my butt as he walked to the door. I glared at his back and when he turned around after he opened the door, he could see how pent up I was. I noticed that he was staring at my heaving chest.

“You know, you really are an asshole,” I said.

His eyes snapped up to mine. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” I clenched my fists and he eased off a bit. “Just promise that you’ll be thinking of me while you’re rubbing one out later.” He winked at me as he slipped through the door.

* * *

It had been three weeks since I’d last seen Jon, so that meant that Jared and I had been talking consistently for about a month.  I met him through that online dating website and he seemed great. He understood early on that I wasn’t looking to fall in love or be exclusive. He understood that I was in an open relationship and was basically just looking for a casual fuck buddy. He also was willing to get to know me a bit first before we tried hopping into bed together, which I appreciated. He came off as totally cool. We had mutual love for scripted televised dramas and most of our conversations were just gushing about the latest episodes. Jon didn’t have a lot of time to watch TV and Dave was more of a movie guy, so I didn’t have anyone close to me who I could talk with about the shows. I was really happy to have found him.

So when he suggested that we finally have an actual date, I was really excited. We made plans to have dinner together, and maybe more, two nights later. I needed to vent my giddiness to someone, so I immediately called up Jon’s cell. Seth answered.

“Hey bitch! How’s it going?”

“You’re too nice to call me that,” I answered, trying not to laugh.

“Well, that’s the name that came up on the phone, so…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Can I talk to the asshole who owns the phone?”

“He’s the driver at the moment. I can relay a message to him, though.”

“Tell him that I have a date in two nights, it’s going to be great and the sex is going to be awesome, but to not worry because I’m not going to leave him for this guy.”

I could hear him repeating what I said on the other end. I could hear Jon replying, but it was too quiet and mumbled for me to make out.

“He says that he wouldn’t care if you did.”

“Okay then, tell him that’s fine because he’s not that good in bed anyway.”

“He says you’re a liar,” he replied after a moment.

I stared at the phone, not able to think up a comeback. I heard Seth say she’s speechless and then the whole car laughing.

“You guys suck. Bye.” I hung up and rolled my eyes.

I told Dave and Larry at work that night and got a much better reaction from them. They tried to give me some pointers for dating again, but I told them to not waste their breath. I was planning to go into this one cool, casual, and ready to discuss the subtleties of Mad Men. If I tried to change myself to fit their advice, I wouldn’t be me and Jared would be able to tell. I decided that I’d rather be myself and fail then act like someone else and succeed.

* * *

 “I’m telling you, watch that episode again. You see it in a whole different light.” He took a sip of his drink and placed it back down.

Jared was freaking fantastic. He looked exactly like he did in his pictures, which was honestly a concern for me when it came to online dating. He had medium brown hair with just a hint of red mixed in and lovely light brown eyes. He didn’t look as fit as Jon was through his clothing, but I really didn’t care. He was wicked cute and we were getting along wonderfully so far. He was the perfect type of guy for what I was looking for. I could definitely hang out with this guy outside of just having sexy play dates together.

“So…it’s getting a little late. How about you and I get out of here?” he asked, smiling. Was that a twinkle I saw in his eyes? Crap, maybe I would consider dropping Jon for this guy.

“That sounds great,” I replied, perhaps a little too eagerly. We agreed to split the check only after I debated with him about it for nearly five minutes. I told him to think of it as me paying for his meal and vice versa.

I had arrived by taxi and he had come in his own car, so we decided to go back to his place since he had the ride available. We didn’t bother with the bullshit lie of “coming up for a cup of coffee” that a lot of people use when they invite someone back to their apartment late at night. We both knew exactly where we wanted this night to end.

As soon as the door clicked behind us, we dropped our things and grabbed at one another. His lips were remarkably soft against my own and they felt great. He tugged lightly at the bottom hem of my blouse, trying to guide me down the hallway to his bedroom, or at least I assumed it would be his bedroom. Honestly, I didn’t really care which room it was, I just wanted him.

As we neared a closed door, he pulled away and whispered to me. “We can’t be too loud, okay? I don’t want to bother my roommate.” He gestured to the closed door. I acknowledged him with a nod, and then latched my mouth back onto his.

We stumbled into his room and I was a bit surprised when he didn’t turn on the light.

“Can you turn the light on? I want to be able to see everything you do to me,” I begged.

I could sense his hesitation, but he ended up flipping the switch. He pulled away from me and looked embarrassed as I looked around his room in awe. The walls were covered in framed posters from all sorts of television shows and he had a bookshelf that was filled with resin figures of different iconic characters. I think he assumed that I would find it stupid and ditch him, but I thought it was fantastic.

“You have some cool stuff here, Jared. Remind me to take a better look in the morning,” I said, winking at him as I kicked off my shoes and started to unbutton my blouse. He was clearly relieved by my reaction and started to take off his pants.

By the time that we were both completely naked, things were getting rather intense. This was definitely going far better than any of my previous attempts. He was lying on top of me, running his fingers through my hair and grinding his hard cock against my clit while we continued to make out. My mouth was getting a little sore, though, so I pulled back and exposed my neck for him to explore. He was making me feel really good, but I felt like I’d be stuck in this plateau forever if one of us didn’t try to push things further.

“Hey,” I whispered in his ear. “Would you be willing to go down on me?”

“Do you seriously know how hot it is when a woman asks you that?” he murmured into my neck.

“So is that a yes?”

He lifted his chest off of me, smirked, and wagged his eyebrows at me before he slid down so that his head was between my legs. His tongue gently lapped at my clit and I began to softly moan and grind my pelvis against his mouth.

I could feel myself getting close to a climax. “Faster,” I panted and he responded by rapidly flicking the tip of his tongue and slipping a finger inside of my pussy. He curled it up as he thrust in and out of me and I breathily let him know that I was about to cum.

Then the door suddenly burst open.

“Jared, do you want me to make you some pancakes? Oh! I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t know you had a lady friend over.”

“Oh, shit!” I cried out.

I was staring face-to-face with an older woman wearing a nightgown while I was naked and on the verge of orgasm. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to tell you that I was mortified and it killed my arousal instantly. My worst fear was also confirmed when Jared lifted his head to answer.

“Mom! You need to remember to knock!”

“Well, sweetie, you didn’t leave a sock on the door like you usually do, so how was I supposed to know? Do you need me to go get you some more condoms?”

“No, mom, I’m fine. Go away!”

“Alrighty then, you two kids have fun!” She shut the door behind her and I slowly regained mental consciousness.

I scrambled off the bed and got dressed as quickly as possible. I should’ve known that he was too good to be true. He had to have some fatal flaw that was going to kill my lady boner and it just had to be one of the worst possible scenarios. I suppose people will tell me that the posters and the figures should have been a dead giveaway, but I think that’s a horrible stereotype. Unfortunately with Jared, it happened to be true.

“Shit, you’re leaving?” he asked, looking defeated.

“After that, of course I am!” I replied with wide eyes.

“What, just because I live with my mom?”

“Look, if I had known ahead of time and she hadn’t walked in while you were eating my pussy, maybe I could’ve overlooked it, but that’s not what happened and I am so not in the state of mind to be able to continue this right now.”

I opened the door and speed walked down the hallway to get to my purse and coat. He followed me with a sheet around his waist.

“Well, can we have dinner again sometime? I really enjoyed spending time with you, Lana.”

I picked up my things and turned to look at him. “I really liked you, too. That’s why it depresses me to tell you that this is a major deal breaker for me. Thank you for dinner.” I left their apartment and ran down the stairs, trying to get away from that scene as quickly as possible.

* * *

“Auuughh...Dave! Please, for the love of god, tell me what is wrong with me?” I slowly banged my head on the bar top while he laughed at me and fixed me a drink.

“El, if I knew the answer to that, I don’t think I’d be working here.”

“Am I a shitty guy magnet? Is that it?”

“Well, you said the guy was great…he just kinda sorta still lived with his mother.”

“You know, I’d understand if it he was 20 or if his mother was living with him because she needed the extra help, but no, he’s 31 and she’s making him pancakes for dinner and buying his condoms for him. I just can’t look past that.”

“Pancakes for dinner sound awesome!”

“Dude…you are not helping,” I sighed.

“Wasn’t trying to,” he said as he winked. He handed me my drink and made the announcement for last call.

I nursed my drink while people surrounded me, getting their last orders in, and I finished it after the last people had finally left. I pushed the glass to the side and laid my head down to rest in my arms. The empty bar was eerily quiet while Dave began to get ready to clean.

He circled back around behind the bar and lazily wiped the top down. “You’re really upset about this, huh?”

“You think?” I mumbled. “Jon’s out there barely having to lift a finger to bring chicks home and I’m struggling to get one.”

“Well, you have landed a few guys. They just haven’t led to anything worthwhile.”

“I guess so.”

“It’s true. And for the record, I think you’re going about this all wrong.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, briefly glancing up at him.

“I mean that I think you’re looking for a fuck buddy in all the wrong places.”

“I already tried a bar and I am not doing that again. Online is the easiest way. How else would I look for one?”

When he didn’t respond immediately, I lifted my head from my arms, only to find his face mere inches away from mine. His eyes looked dark and serious. He wiped a strand of hair away from my face and leaned in so that our noses were touching.

“Oh.”

 


	16. Benefits

When your face is pressed up to someone else’s, you really start to notice the finer qualities about them. I started to wonder why I had never noticed how beautiful Dave’s eyes were. They were such a dark brown that they looked almost black, and at that very second, I kinda sorta wanted to fall into them. He also had awfully long lashes. I always thought that was a silly feature to have on a man, but when they were so close that I could feel them fluttering against my own, it made me shiver in a way I never would’ve thought it would. He had a small freckle on the bridge of his nose that I hadn’t ever really noticed. Was he always this painfully adorable and I just never considered it? How could I have never considered it?

I suddenly realized that my face had been pressed up against Dave’s for a while, so I jerked back from him. He looked a little hurt by it, but he didn’t say anything. It was eerily silent in the bar and I could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall.

From this distance, I noticed that his lips looked so soft and pouty. My eyes lingered on them for a moment, and I felt an urge to slide my finger across them to see if they were, in fact, soft. However, I have will power and resisted that urge.

Instead, I kissed him.

It started out as an innocent closed mouth kiss, kind of like a longer peck. I then parted my lips ever-so-slightly as a way to invite him to go further and take control of the kiss. I expected my brain to be yelling at my body that this was a terrible, horrible idea…but the yelling never came. He took my offer and opened his mouth a bit, lightly touching his tongue to my bottom lip. I pressed my lips in a little closer, my whole being telling me that I needed this. Want wasn’t even an option. The kiss grew a little more intense, my tongue occasionally meeting his; first by accident, the next four times completely on purpose. I felt my face growing hot and I needed to stop this kiss before it got to be too much…but I just couldn’t.

He pulled away from the kiss first. I slowly opened my eyes to meet his, but found that I felt far too embarrassed to hold his gaze.

“I…um…David…” I said as I looked down at my feet.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m not trying to pressure you at all. Honestly.”

“No,” I replied, almost too quickly for my liking. “I just…I never noticed how cute you are.”

He laughed and I found it a bit surprising that it made me blush. “Is that a bad thing?

I twiddled my thumbs, not quite sure how to answer. Why was I feeling so nervous and awkward around my best friend? He saw how unsettled I was and tried to defuse the tension.

“Want me to make you another drink?”

I shook my head. I was anxious, a little scared, and despite everything that had happened within the last hour, still horny. My mind and body were in obvious agreement, so I figured fuck it and just went with my instincts.

I grabbed Dave’s shoulders and pulled him toward me, planting a kiss on his lips as I did. After a moment, he placed his hands on my arms and slowly slid them up to settle on top of my own hands. They felt warm and comforting. I stood up completely and put a knee on the stool in an attempt to get closer to him.

“Do you want to go up to your room?” he asked in between kisses.

“No,” I pushed away from him and saw his brow furrow with disappointment. “I need you now.” I backed away from him until I felt a table touch the back of my thighs. I sat on the edge of it and a smile crept along my face. “I don’t think there’s much you can do from behind that bar, so why don’t you come after me?” I winked at him, feeling a bit feisty all of the sudden.

“How can I say no to that?”

He swung his legs up and over the bar in a way that surprised me. I didn’t think he could move like that. It reminded me of the way that Jon hopped over the barricade on his way to the wrestling ring and I felt a pang of guilt. David could see it on my face as he walked up to me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A little guilty, honestly. I told Jon that I had a date tonight, so he knows that there was the possibility of me having sex, but he didn’t know that I’d end up being with you.”

“If you want, you can go text him now, before we go any further.”

I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. “No, I’ll message him right after we’re done. He’s pretty laid back about things, so I think as long as I tell him after, he won’t mind.”

“So you want to continue with this?” he asked.

“Yes please!”

I put my arms around his neck and he slipped his around my waist as we pulled ourselves closer to each other. Those soft lips of his pressed against mine again and I quietly sighed at how good they felt. I flicked my tongue lightly on his bottom lip and he opened his mouth so that we could deepen the kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tried to use the heels of my shoes to pull his pants down.

“I get the hint! If you give me a moment, I can take them off for you, silly woman!”

I dropped my legs and grinned as I watched him unfasten his button and pull down the zipper. I always enjoyed watching a man undress. He pulled his pants down and stared at the ground nervously.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“I’m more embarrassed about feeling embarrassed. I’m normally not so timid revealing myself to a woman…really!”

“I believe you,” I giggled. I slipped off of the table and stepped closer to him. “May I remove your boxers?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman ask to take off my clothes…but it’s kind of hot.”

“What can I say? Consent is sexy.” I dropped down onto my knees, pulled down a little bit of the fabric and kissed the smooth skin underneath. Then I gripped my fingers on the elastic band and pulled his boxers down completely. His hard cock fell out and bopped me on the nose. “Ow!”

“Oh no! I’m sorry!” he panicked.

I rubbed my nose and started laughing. “Don’t be. It doesn’t really hurt and it’s too comical to really get mad about.” I wrapped my fingers loosely around his cock and stared at him. “I guess I’m just going to have to show it who’s boss.” I looked up at him and asked, “May I suck your cock, David?”

I felt him twitch in my hand. “Goddamn, that sounds so sexy when you say it. Yes, please do.”

I slid him into my mouth, making a soft happy noise at the warm feeling of his soft skin between my lips. He wasn’t quite as large as Jon, but size was never an issue for me. I was able to take his entire length into my mouth without gagging and it felt wonderful. I slowly slid my mouth up and down his dick, using one hand to stroke his thigh and the other to cup his ass. David’s ass was rounder and softer than Jon’s ass, which was firmer and shapelier. I definitely preferred Jon’s ass to Dave’s, but it was still awfully fun to squish in my hand.

Dave rested his hand on the top of my head and began to stroke my hair. I moaned around him in my mouth. He was making me feel so relaxed and calm. I pulled him out of my mouth, but continued to stroke him with the hand that had been on his ass.

“Thank you. I really like you doing that.”

“I really like you doing…you know, what you’re doing.” We smiled at each other and I kissed the tip of his erection before wrapping my lips around him once more.

After a moment, he took his hand off of my head. “If you keep continuing like that, I’m going to explode and I don’t want to yet.”

I withdrew him from my mouth and looked up. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Your mouth feels wonderful, but I want this to be about you right now. You’re the one who had a bad night.” He gave me his hand to help me up. “Turn around and bend over that table, if you don’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t mind at all, Mr. David. Would you like me to take off my dress?”

“No, I would not, Miss Lana. But I would like it if you were able to remove your panties. If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“It certainly is, Mr. David!” We laughed at each other, feeling like two dorky perverts, which, of course, we were.

I made a show out of pulling down my panties, swaying my hips a little and then putting a little shimmy in my shoulders as I bent over to step out of them. I righted myself and leaned across the table.

He put his hands on my hips. “May I taste your pussy, El?”

“Dear lord, yes,” I almost gasped. I had been so wound up from the round of oral I received earlier in the evening that I was giddy over the prospect of being able to finish what had been started.

He flipped my skirt up over my hips and I heard him groan. “You really do have a lovely ass.”

“You both keep saying this, but I honestly don’t see it. I’m glad you guys like it, th-eeep!” He had nipped at the delicate thigh skin right under the curve of my bottom.

He ran his tongue between my swollen lips and I felt my body shudder. I didn’t realize how sensitive my pussy had been. The slightest touch of his mouth sent shivers through my spine. He dipped his tongue in deeper, alternating between a few tiny flicks against my aching clit and slow circles around my wet entrance. He placed both of his hands firmly on my cheeks and spread them open as he plunged his tongue into my pussy. I could feel his nose pressed close to my asshole. It felt so dirty, and I loved it.

I decided to climb up onto the table so that I was on my hands and knees. He repositioned himself so that he was leaning back on the table with his head under me. He swirled his tongue around my clit repeatedly and slid two fingers inside of my hole. I felt myself very close to orgasm, and I was finally brought over the edge when he sucked on my clit. I pounded my fist on the table and grunted as I came.

“Are all your orgasms like that? All cavewoman and shit?” Dave asked as he wiped his mouth.

“No, not all the time,” I laughed. “I guess only when I’m deprived of one for a while and then allowed to cum later You’ll have to help me off the table though, because I don’t think my legs work right now.”

He helped me onto the floor and let me hang on him for a few seconds until my legs stopped shaking.

“Do you want to have  sex now? Are you still up for it?”

“Heck yeah. Do you have a condom on you?” I asked.

“No. I didn’t think I’d be having sex at work today.” He said, scratching his head. “I guess I really should start putting one in my wallet, just in case. I suppose this means that you don’t have one, huh?”

“No, not in my purse. I think I took out the one I had at Jared’s apartment and didn’t bother grabbing it as I ran out of there. I do have some upstairs, though.”

“I guess this means we move things to your bedroom after all.”

* * *

I fumbled around with my toy box, trying to get a condom out as quickly as I could. As soon as we had exited the elevator, Dave had been teasing me, lightly running his fingers along my arm and torso whenever he could. Now that I was bent over on my hands and knees, he was gently rubbing my ass and it was very distracting.

“Look David, if we want to fuck, you’d better quit that or I’m never going to get this condom out of the box. Get naked, get up on the bed, and behave yourself.”

“Yes, ma’am!” he said, chuckling, as he moved his hand and began removing his clothes.

I finally got out one of the small packets and put it between my lips as I put away the toy box, then tossed it to him as I stood up. I pulled my dress up and over my head, letting it drop unceremoniously behind me. I pulled down my panties, stepping one foot out and mule-kicking them behind me with the other. I was about to take off my bra, when Dave stopped me.

“Would it be okay if I took that off of you?”

“Sure thing.” I said with a smile. “But you’d better be good at multi-tasking.”

He looked at me, slightly confused, before I pounced on top of him. I ran my fingers through his soft dark brown hair and kissed him. I had always teased him for having his locks a little longer than most men did, but right now I wanted to take back everything I ever said. His hair felt so smooth and silky in my hands.

Once he positioned his cock at my entrance, I sat up and sank down onto it. I didn’t waste any time grinding my hips into him, feeling his whole length rubbing inside of me. He slid his hands up my body from my thighs to my back and unhooked my bra. Clearly he was a master of multi-tasking. He helped me pull the straps off of my arms and threw it to the side, letting it fall where it may.

Dave moved his hands around to my front and cupped my bare breasts. His hands were so gentle with me. It was nothing like sex with Jon. He rubbed his thumbs slowly on my nipples as I continued to bounce up and down on his cock.

“You have really cute nipples,” he said. “I love how they look when they’re hard. Such a nice pink color.”

“I like your nipples, too,” I replied, leaning down to suck one into my mouth. He moaned rather loudly in response.

“That’s one of my secret erogenous zones.”

“It’s good to know that Cosmo wasn’t lying to me,” I laughed.

He dropped his hands down to my hips again and held onto them firmly, helping me thrust down on his dick as we picked up the pace. I let my eyes flutter shut and my head roll back. When I opened them up a few moments later, I noticed that he had been watching me. I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What can I say, El? I was enjoying the view.”

“Oh you were, huh?”

He nodded and said, “Now I’d like to enjoy the view of you on your back.”

He placed one hand on my lower back and one on my shoulder as he rolled us over so that he was on top of me. His dick stayed inside of me the whole time. I found that so damn sexy. He pulled my legs up around his waist and began to thrust at his own pace. I tugged on his shoulders so that he’d lean down toward me and I started to nibble on his neck. The rhythm of his hips was steady and the speed was slow, but each thrust was hard and deep, making my body tingle. He laced his fingers in my hair and kissed my forehead.  I loved the feeling of his full length pulling out of me and thrusting back in. My body reacted stronger with each thrust until I finally gripped my hands into his back as I came. I didn’t realize that I had been holding my breath during it until I took a big gulp of air once I had come down from my physical high. Dave quickened his pace a bit, now that I had my orgasm, and a minute later he let out a low moan as he had his own climax.

He hovered above me for a moment and then gently rested his body weight on me, his face nuzzled into my neck. I thought again about that oddly comforting feeling of someone lying on top of you after sex as soon as I felt his breath hit my neck. I smiled, realizing just how much better I felt now than I had an hour ago. Maybe it hadn’t been the most traditional of ways, but David had been there for me as a good friend when I was feeling like shit. I was about to wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, but he began to laugh in my ear.

“What’s so funny?” I asked suspiciously.

“I didn’t think you would actually go through with this.”

I nudged him off of me and turned my head to eye him. “What are you trying to say?”

He shook his head and calmed his laughter. “Nothing bad. You just never really seemed like you were entirely behind the whole sex with other people part of your arrangement with Jon. I assumed that you were sabotaging yourself on purpose.”

“Dude, why would I do that?”

He ran a finger down my cheek and grinned. “I’ve known you for almost three years now, right?  In that time, I quickly learned that you tend to get in your head about things and my theory has been that it’s a subconscious way to get out of things you don’t want to do or are afraid to do. It was a sound theory until that first time you had sex with Jon. I know it had been my idea, but again, I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it. I assumed that you would’ve called the cops on his ass almost immediately. This is the second time I’ve been wrong, so maybe I need to edit my theory.”

“You’ve thought about it that much?” He shrugged. “Dave, you need a girlfriend or something. I think your social life is worse than mine if you have time to think about crap like that.”

“Come on, you work at the bar, too. You know how it is on a slow day. Your mind just starts thinking about the strangest things. The David Theory of Lana Mental Sabotage was just one of those strange things.”

“You are so weird,” I said through my own giggles. “Thank you for this. I think I needed it after that whole Jared incident.”

“The pleasure was all mine, El.” He winked and sat up, scooting himself off of the bed. “I still have a bar to clean up downstairs, so I’m going to have to leave you here.” He turned to look at me. “As much as I don’t want to. I mean, your bed is really comfy.”

“I know, right?!” I wriggled around and pulled the sheets up around my neck. “I need to text Jon anyway, to let him know that I finally did have sex with someone else…just not with who I thought it would be.”

I sent the text to Jon, asking him to call me when he was available, while Dave got dressed. When he was finished, he came back over to the side of the bed to say goodnight before he left. I sat up and we debated about the proper way to say goodbye after sex with your best friend. A kiss was far too intimate. A hug felt too formal. We decided on a high-five and he left to go finish cleaning, waving as he closed the door.

My phone buzzed with the message that Jon would call me in fifteen minutes. The perfect amount of time to go take a shower I thought, until I decided that I was far too tired and lazy to go clean up. I’d just deal with it in the morning.

* * *

I answered very quickly when his call came through.

“So…how did that date go, hmm? You texted much later than normal.” I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was smirking. “Is someone my good little slut?”

“It just sounds so loving and respectful when you say that.”

“It should. It’s a term of endearment.”

“Anyway, the date was…rough.”

“Yeah, I know my slut likes it rough.”

“Quit it, asshole. The date went well at first. Dinner was amazing, and then we went back to his apartment…that he shares with his mother.”

“Eh, that’s not so bad as long as the bitch stay in her own room. So did you fuck him?”

I sighed, since he didn’t really seem to be getting what I was trying to hint at. I knew I shouldn’t be, but I felt embarrassed to have to admit what happened to him.

“His mother walked in on us while he was eating me out.” I had to hold the phone away from my ear so that I wasn’t made deaf from his raucous laughter.

“That’s incredible. So what did you do?”

“I ran out of there as fast as I could! You think I’d want to stay around after that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re into that sort of thing,” he said, not being able to finish his sentence before another laughing fit hit him.

“Anyway, I went back to the bar to vent to David and have a drink. After he closed up the bar, he proposed that we have sex.”

“That’s ballsy of him.” He took a long pause and it concerned me. “So did you fuck him?”

Now it was my turn to pause before I answered. “I did.”

The silence on the other end went on for what felt like minutes. Shit. He was pissed. I should’ve realized that it was a bad idea after the whole Andre thing, but I believed him and trusted him when he said that he really wanted me to do this. Fuck.

I finally heard some breathing through the phone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be so upset,” I apologized.

“I’m not upset. The thought of you fucking him just got me really hard and I was rubbing my dick through my pants, if you must know. Can’t a guy have a pervy moment to himself?”

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Would you like to hear the details while you have that pervy moment?”

He paused again, but this time, I wasn’t worried. “You know what? No. Not right now. I kinda want to jerk off to my fantasy of it tonight. But remember those details. I’m going to ask you about them at some point, on my own terms.”

“That sounds suspicious, but fine. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you while you jerk off?”

“Nah, not this time. You get some sleep, slut. I bet you’re tired.”

“Oh I am. Enjoy your hand.”

“Oh I will. ‘Night, Lana.”

“Good night, Jon.”

 


	17. His Terms

I dreaded the next time I was to work with Dave, two days after we had slept with each other. I’ve always been the kind of person who says that sex with friends shouldn’t make things weird. It doesn’t have to “ruin the friendship”. If you’re concerned about it ruining the friendship, then maybe the friendship was already in trouble. Still, I’d never been in that type of situation myself, so now I had to put my beliefs to the test. I wasn’t sure how he would act around me and I feared how I might act around him. I can be such an awkward person at times that I had pretty much accepted that I was going to make a complete fool out of myself.

It turns out that I was worried about nothing. I was a little nervous around him at first, but he acted like he always did. Cute, funny, and way cooler than I’ll ever be David. I shouldn’t have ever doubted him. He greeted me with a sarcastic comment and a smile, and we went about business as usual.

That day, I found out that I was scheduled for an opening shift the next Wednesday. That normally wouldn’t be an issue, but Jon was due to visit me that week. It was a half shift, so I’d be done by 3 that afternoon, but I usually went to pick him up at the airport earlier than that. I sent him a text explaining the situation and of course, since he is also way cooler me, he was fine with it.

“I’ll just take a later flight,” he said. “It’ll give me the chance to sleep in for once in my life.”

So when that Wednesday rolled around, I wasn’t quite prepared for what was going to happen.

I was in the back doing some dishes a little before 2pm. Jon had texted me earlier saying that he would be coming in around 6pm, so I had decided that I'd take the time after work to prepare a nice dinner for us. Normally we end up going out to eat or ordering something for delivery, which I know he enjoys, but I always feel bad being his enabler for eating unhealthy food. I was running a mental list of what I needed to do once I got upstairs when I thought I heard his voice.

"Am I looking forward to seeing him so much that I'm delusional?" I mumbled under my breath with a laugh.

I wrapped up what I was doing and headed back into the bar. What I found was Jon sitting at an empty table, staring at Dave and tapping his fingers on his chest.

“What the hell are you doing here? You said your flight was arriving around six!” I asked, frantically.

He quickly glanced over at me, acknowledging my presence, and then returned his gaze to David. “A little white lie. I wanted to surprise you by showing up early. I didn’t think _he’d_ be here, though.” He stretched his neck to the side and closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

I turned to Dave with a panicked look on my face. He was trying to go about his business and ignore the angry looks from Jon, but I could tell that he was very uncomfortable. He gave me a half-assed smile and continued to tidy up behind the bar.

I could feel the tension in the air and I didn’t want to find out what would happen if I continued to let Jon sit here, stewing and staring at the other man I had sex with. I had to get Jon out of here.

“I was going to make you dinner tonight, so why don’t you come upstairs and help me?” I motioned to David. “Will you be alright if I clock out early?”

“I’ll be fine, El,” he nodded. “Go enjoy your man.”

I winced a little at his choice of words. I had never called Jon “my man” before. It seemed awfully possessive and I wouldn’t want to make him think that I was trying to push him toward a more exclusive, monogamous type of relationship. Now that I had finally had that night with Dave, all of the stress I felt from trying to look for a no strings attached sex encounter had been released and I felt as though I could finally enjoy the open nature of our relationship.

However, that also led to the other reason I winced at Dave’s words. _Go enjoy_ he said. Enjoy. I wasn’t so sure if I was going to enjoy whatever was to happen once we got upstairs. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was probably going to be yelled at by Jon about how I had fucked my best friend and not some random dude from a bar. At least that what I gathered based on the look he had on his face. I was probably going to get a severe tongue lashing, and not the good kind.

When we got upstairs, I immediately began to busy myself with setting up the kitchen. Jon went into the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on. Good. That would give me some time to mentally prepare myself to get yelled at and maybe formulate my defense.

I soon lost myself in cutting up the vegetables for the big garden salad that was to accompany the steak and sweet potatoes I was going to cook up later. I don't do it often since I live alone and I can be awfully lazy sometimes, but I really enjoy cooking and I often feel very Zen while doing it. I was so concentrated on dicing the vegetables that I didn't notice the shower shut off.

"So…you fucked your best friend."

I jumped when I heard his voice behind me. I dropped my knife and almost cut my finger. I bent down to pick it up off the floor and looked over him as I did. He was only wearing his gym shorts, as he usually did after showering, and was running his hand through his messy damp hair. I stood up, tossed the knife in the sink, and grabbed a clean one. Returning my attention to the vegetables, I finally answered him.

"I did."

There was that same lengthy pause from when I told him about it over the phone.

"I was so frustrated from all of my failed attempts at casual sex that he thought it would be a good idea since we already know almost everything about each other. So no undercover douchebags or secret intruding mothers," I said, trying to break the silence.

"Did you enjoy it?"

I was afraid to answer. I didn’t want to lie, but I was nervous that he would be upset if I said yes. I finally decided on just telling the truth. "Yes. Yes I did."

I saw his hands grab the edge of the counter on either side of me and felt his chest press against my back. His breath tickled the back of my ear, so I knew that his face was very close. “I think it’s time for you to tell me the details of that night, Lana,” he said, as his grip on the counter tightened.

I swallowed hard and put the knife down. “Okay, let me clean up here and we can go talk in my room.” I reached for the kitchen towel, but he swatted my hand away.

“No, you’re going to tell me about it here. I said I’d ask you about it on my own terms. Well, here they are.”

He had me completely boxed in between him and the counter and I started to panic a little bit. My breaths quickened and I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps.

“Um…well…he leaned in real close to me…and I kinda kissed him.”

“Kinda? How do you ‘kinda’ kiss someone?”

“Okay, fine, I definitely kissed him.”

“How did you kiss him?”

“Closed-mouthed.”

“Hmm,” he grunted. He nestled his face into my neck. “And then you fucked?”

“No, asshole. Then I used my tongue a little bit…but nothing crazy.”

I felt his tongue lightly flick against my skin as he placed small kisses along my neck. It was a small gesture, but it felt so damn good. I closed my eyes and arched my back, when suddenly, he stopped.

My eyes flew open and I looked down at him with frustration on my face. “Why’d you stop? That felt really nice.”

“You stopped talking.”

“What? What does that have to do with anything?”        

“So you kissed him. What did it feel like? Describe it to me.”

I didn’t respond immediately, I just continued to look at him, not really sure about what his game was today. He didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at me with his chin resting on my shoulder.

“His…his lips were very soft. He must use lip balm when I’m not looking.”

He slowly dragged his open mouth along my neck. I could feel the texture of his lips and the warmth of his breath. He wasn’t making this very easy.

“His mouth tasted really sweet. Like maraschino cherries, now that I think about it. He must’ve been sneaking some from behind the bar all night. I hate maraschinos…but I really liked the taste of him.”

Jon turned my head toward him and kissed me very softly. It was almost shocking in its gentle nature. I let his tongue slip into my mouth just a little bit so that I could taste him. He broke the kiss first and pulled away, raising his eyebrow at me.

“You just taste like cigarettes,” I laughed. “I should’ve known.” I stuck out my tongue with an over-the-top look of disgust. He rolled his eyes at me, but I could see his lips curl into a tiny smile. He nodded in my direction, implying that he wanted me to continue.

“Then he took his pants off.” He removed his hands from the edge of the counter and ran them up my arms, then down my chest. He stopped briefly on my breasts to pinch one of my nipples and I let out a squeak.

“How did you react when you saw his dick for the first time?” he asked. His hands continued down my waist and stopped along the top of my pants. He slipped his thumbs under the hem and slid them forward until his fingers were over the button.

“It actually hit me on the nose when I pulled his boxers down. So startled. I was startled.”

I felt his body shake slightly as he chuckled quietly. “Really? You’re such a fucking dork.” He popped the button out of its loop and pulled down the zipper. I felt my pants being pulled down to the middle of my thighs.

“Me? What about you? Have you seen the way you act when you think no one’s watching? Dancing around like an-” I stopped abruptly because he had slipped his hand down the front of my panties and began to stroke my pussy. He would let one of his fingers just barely touch my clit as they passed. My skin started to flush and my nerves lit up.

“Who’s a dork?” he asked, pressing his forehead against my temple.

“I am. And you…you’re…wonderful.” I leaned back into him, keeping my hips pushed forward so that he would have easier access.

He pulled his hand out and straightened me up. “Nah, not yet. What was his cock like?”

“Compared to you? He was smaller, but that’s not important to me.” He bent down as he helped me get my pants off completely. “And he had an upward curve that I very much appreciated later.” I looked down at him as I stepped out of the fabric. “Are you fucking smiling? Asshole…”

He stood up and tried to put on a serious face, but he couldn’t hide his cheesy grin. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s a stupid dude thing.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and I could feel his erection poke into my back. “So what did you do with that cock, you slut?”

“I swallowed it. I was able to fit the whole thing in my mouth. Oh Jon, it felt so good…that feels good…”

His hand had crept back down my panties, but now he was rubbing slow circles around my clit. I absent-mindedly started to grind my hips against his hand. He groaned and sped up his movements in response to my own.

“He stroked my hair and I sucked him slow and deep,” I continued. “If he came in my mouth, I would’ve swallowed every drop of him.”

“I bet you would have because you love cock, don’t you?” He held me close to him as his own hard cock rubbed up against me. The mix of his fingers on my clit and the teasing behind me was making me awfully wet.

I moaned softly as I leaned my head back onto his shoulder. “I do…I  do love cock.” He took his free hand and cupped one of my breasts, using his thumb to tease the nipple. “But I like yours the best.”

I knew that cheesy grin would return once I had said that. He lowered his mouth to kiss my collarbone. “I never get tired of hearing that.”

“He told me to stop…since he didn’t want to finish in my mouth. He bent me over the table and I pulled down my panties.” He stopped what he was doing and began to slide my panties down my legs. He left a trail of kisses on my ass and then down the back of my legs. The light touches on the sensitive skin back there made me shudder. “He had me keep my dress on, though. I felt really dirty that way…wearing my dress with no panties.”

He tugged the lace and cotton from under my feet and moved it to the side. “Mmm…do you like to feel dirty?” He rubbed his large hands up my legs and across my bare bottom.

“Only when I’m with someone I trust. I’d trust David with my life.” I turned my head to look down at him in the ground. “And I trust you.”

“Okay, enough with the serious chatter, back to the fucking,” he said. His voice sounded bored with the idea, but his eyes looked like he was glad I felt that way.

“So then he flipped up my skirt and ate my pussy like he was starving.”

He nudged my legs to get me to turn around so that my back was against the counter. He hoisted one of my legs over his shoulder and then moved forward so that he could support my weight better.

“Can’t blame him. I do love pussy…”

He lifted my other leg so that it too was on his shoulder. I held onto the counter’s edge to try to support myself.  I felt his hands cup my ass as he let the tip of his tongue glide between my swollen lips. I tried my best to not squirm too much, but then he thrust two long fingers inside of me.

“You are so wet, you naughty girl. I can’t wait to fuck you.”

“Oh god, his tongue felt so good…” He began to slowly lap at my clit. I was so turned on by this entire game of his that it wouldn’t be very long until I reached orgasm. “I came so hard…” His fingers worked in and out of my pussy, slow and steady, but deep enough so that his knuckles pressed against me. I could feel myself getting closer to climax when he decided to suck on my clit. “…oh god, oh god, Jon! Fuck!”

My hips bucked against his face, but he didn’t pull away. He kept his mouth latched onto me. Aftershocks ran through my body as his warm breath hit the oversensitive area.

He helped me get my feet back on the floor and I started to stagger off out of the kitchen. “I…I need to go sit down for a while.”

I heard him stand up and felt his hands grab my shoulders. “No no no, you’re not getting out of finishing this. You said you fucked him, so tell me about it.” He marched me back to the counter and boxed me in again.

“We came back up here…neither of us had a condom ready…” I said, still trying to catch my breath.

“Stay right here. Don’t move.” He smacked my ass and went back into the other room, returning with a condom wrapped around his dick. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled them back towards him. I put my elbows down on the counter as I felt him rub his length against me. “So you were saying?”

“…so once I got him a condom, I jumped on him and rode him nice and slow…” He lined himself up against my hole and pushed forward just enough so that I could feel the pressure of the head. “…and he played with my…ahh!”  He sunk his dick balls deep into my pussy with one thrust. He held himself there for a moment while I wriggled my hips. His thrusts started slowly at first, but gradually gained speed.

“Are you a little distracted there, Lana?” he murmured next to my ear.

“Maybe,” I breathed out. “He, uh…he played with…tits, my tits, Jon.”

“Like this?” He brought his hands up under my shirt and pushed my bra up over my chest. He let his fingers roam over the soft skin there and I felt my nipples begin to harden.

“Yes…yes, just like that.” I moaned when he started to pinch my nipples. “He didn’t get rough with them like that, though. He was so gentle and easy going…nothing like when you fuck me…”

“Yeah, but you like it rough, don’t you?” As many times as I had heard him say things like this in that raspy voice of his, it still turned me on like nothing else.

“Yes, god, yes.” He took this as his signal to start thrusting hard and deep. He removed one hand from under my shirt and wrapped it around my throat, pulling me away from the counter and up against his chest.

“Fuck me, you feel so fucking good…” I gasped. He nipped at my neck, making it very hard for me to concentrate. “Uh…then he flipped me onto my back and thrust really deep into my pussy.”

He took the hand that remained under my shirt and ran it down my stomach until it settled between my legs. My clit had calmed down enough so that it didn’t feel overstimulated when he began to rub it between his fingers.

“I was so wet…he felt so good…” I felt my stomach clench as I got closer to coming again.

“Did you cum on his dick?”

“Yes…yes…right there…oh Jon…”

I grabbed at his arms as I came. He then closed his hand around my throat a little tighter as he came himself. He let go of my throat and wrapped his arm around my chest. We stood there silently for a moment, him holding me, both of us trying to catch our breath. I placed my hand over his and squeezed it.

“You do know that I really believed you were pissed at me, right?” I sighed.

“That’s what I was aiming for.”

“Just to mess with me?”

“Bingo.” He mussed my hair and pulled away from me to go grab his shorts. As he left the kitchen, I heard him start to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, giving him a dirty look.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he replied, turning around to face me, but the stupid smirk on his face said otherwise. I picked up my clothes and threw on my panties before following him out the door.

“Stop being a jerk. Seriously. If I started laughing randomly, you’d wonder what I was thinking. So spill!”

He shook his head and giggled like a schoolboy. “It’s just that I don’t remember Dante and Randall ever fucking in _Clerks_.”

My mouth dropped open, but then formed into a grin of my own. I walked up to him, dropping my pants back on the floor as I did, and put my hands on his bare chest. “Aww, you _do_ pay attention when I talk about dumb stuff!” I took one of my hands and pressed my index finger against his nose, making a _boop!_ sound as I did.

He pushed my face away with his hand and made an irritated noise.

“You can deny it all you want, but you listen to me, don’t you?” He went about getting fully dressed and didn’t answer my question. “Don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?” He slowly turned his head to me with that playful look in his eyes.

“You know, you really are an asshole sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, you’re a real bitch sometimes, so I guess that’s what makes this work.” He stood up and slapped his hand on my back, taking a bit of the wind out my lungs. “Do you want a drink? I think I could use a drink.”

* * *

 We walked into the bar together and Dave shot me a look of _is everything fine?_ as soon as he noticed that we were there. I nodded at him and I could see his shoulders relax. For as calm as he had acted earlier, I suppose he was actually concerned for me, which was nice to know.

Jon walked up to the bar and sat down. “So there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you since I got in today.”

“Oh yeah? What’s up?” Dave asked as he casually wiped down the bar.

“Thank you for being Lana’s friend.” Dave stopped wiping and glanced over at me, then back at Jon.

“It’s my pleasure, man. She’s been a good friend to me, too.”

Jon stood up and leaned his head in toward Dave. “And thanks for fucking her, too. Seriously. It sounds like she really enjoyed herself.” They both smiled at each other and then looked over at me.

“I hate you both,” I said, but we all knew I was lying. My relationships with each of them were rather unorthodox compared to most, but for us, it worked.

Jon extended his hand to Dave, who accepted it with a smile. We were both surprised when Jon pulled him into a tight embrace. I stood back and watched as the two most important men in my life hugged and it made my heart happy. Everything was going to be alright.


	18. Two's Company

Life was good and went along as normal for a while. Well, as normal as life was for me. I continued to see Jon once a month. David and I continued to have sex a few times a week. We actually got really good at cleaning up the bar quickly and efficiently, since we now had an incentive to hurry up when we shared closing shifts. I settled into this routine and for the first time in a long time, I felt completely comfortable and happy.

About three months went by in what felt like a flash. The day before Jon was to fly in again, I realized that it had almost been a year since he had annoyed his way into my life. He'd be on the road on the exact day and it's not like it's a real anniversary or anything, but I thought it might be nice to go out and do something special anyway.

I brought up the idea to David while we were lying in my bed one night after work.

"I think that sounds good. What sort of thing were you thinking of?" he asked.

I rolled over and propped up my head on my hand. "I was thinking I could take him out to dinner maybe. Well…no, we always go out to eat, so I don't know how special that really is."

"What sort of things does he like?"

"Wrestling. Beer. Women. Sex. Not necessarily in that order."

David laughed. "That sounds to me like what he normally does. I don't know how special it would be. Anything else?"

"Um…" I honestly didn't know. For as well as I knew him biblically, I really didn't know much about the man behind all the sex. I knew we got along well. I knew he was funny. I knew he was an amazing wrestler. However I really didn't know much about his past or even just his interests. "I have no idea."

"That could be troublesome."

"Why is that?" I laughed.

"Well, if you're dating someone, you should probably know things about them, yeah?"

"I'm not really sure if I'd even call what he and I do 'dating'. But I suppose I see what you mean. We usually just watch tv, go out to eat, and fuck."

"Of course you do." Dave put his hand over his forehead. "Okay, how about this. A bunch of the girls from my apartment and I are trying to set up a welcome party for the new tenants that just moved in. I can see if we can go to Wednesday night karaoke downtown and you two can join us. Do you think he would like that?"

"I'm not really sure how he feels about singing. I know he'll like the women and the booze though, so let's do that."

We sealed the deal with a high five.

* * *

"This is your idea of 'doing something special'?"

"Yeah! What, do you not like it?"

"It's freaking karaoke. I like it well enough, but I wouldn't call it special. We do that on the road sometimes. Naturally, I'm the best at it."

"Oh, I bet you are," I laughed.

"You don't believe me? Wait till you see me whip out some Billy Idol and you'll be begging for me to sing to you all the time." He pulled me toward him and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

I wrapped an arm around his waist and we headed inside.

"Oh, I forgot to mention that Dave is here and he brought a few friends along with him. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I just figured it would be polite to give you a heads up."

We moved further into the bar until I finally saw Dave and a handful of people sitting at a table near the stage.

"Hey! You guys finally showed up!" Dave reached out to hug me and I broke away from Jon to accept it. When we separated from the hug, he turned to Jon and held out his hand.

"What, I don't get a hug?" Jon asked, looking offended.

Dave and I laughed, but then Dave did go in for a hug with Jon.

"Aww, I love how my two boys get all cuddly with each other." I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth.

"Bitch, what are you talking about? This right here is a bro hug!" Jon informed me. "It's totally manly and not at all snuggly."

"Yeah Lana, it's a dude thing that you womenfolk just wouldn't understand," Dave chimed in.

"You guys suck. I'm going to get a drink. Jon, do you want anything?"

"I'll go with you." He slipped his arm around my waist as we approached the bartender. "A margarita, huh?" he asked after we ordered and set up a tab.

"What? I can't have one?"

"No…I've just never seen you go for something like that. What's the occasion?" he inquired, laughing.

"The occasion is that they get me tipsy fast and if I'm expected to sing in front of people, I need to be in a pleasantly hazy state of mind. Not falling over drunk, but enough to not be in my head so much."

He did a finger gun motion at me and nodded. "Good point!"

"But I do want to be aware enough so that you can wow me with this performance you were promising."

"Oh, I'm gonna wow you." He grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him.

"Oh…I bet you will…and I'm totally not sarcastic or anything," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and sticking out my tongue.

The bartender cleared his throat to alert us to our drinks being ready, so we grabbed them and headed back to Dave's table.

"So Dave, who are all these lovely ladies you have with you tonight?" Jon asked.

"Are you jealous, Jon?" he laughed. "The floor I live on is filled with mostly women. A bunch of sorority sisters moved there after they graduated college. When I first moved in a few years ago, I felt like I had walked onto some porn set or something. It just seemed too good to be true, you know? But no, they're very nice girls and they actually threw me a moving-in party once I was settled. They're always very friendly to everyone in the apartment. So last week this new couple moved in across the hall and they asked if I could help them set up an activity to welcome them. This is it. It seemed casual enough. When El asked about ideas to 'celebrate' you two knowing each other for a year, I suggested that you guys tag along."

Jon nodded and took a sip of his beer. "Cool, cool…you ever bang one of them?"

I choked on my own drink when I heard him ask that, while David just laughed. He leaned in toward Jon and pointed to the two girls who were onstage singing. "Those two right there," he said under his breath. "But that was a few months after I had moved in."

"Fuck, man. Good for you! Together? That does sound like some wacky porn set-up."

"Nah, not together. Two separate occasions. Although honestly, they probably would've fucked me together if I had asked." It looked like he was trying, but he couldn't hold back his smile.

"Dude, I was banging these two chicks once back in my indy days, and you should've seen the tits on this one girl, man…"

"Okay guys! Let's take a detour off of Skank Lane, shall we?" I interrupted.

"I'll tell you the rest of the story later sometime," Jon whispered to Dave. "Okay bitch, what do you suggest we talk about then?"

"Well, we are properly liquored, so we should probably go sign up for a song or something."

"Okay. I think I could churn out an award winning performance right now." He started to stand up, but I pushed him back down and stood up myself. He gave me a puzzled look.

"I'll go sign you up since I already know what you're going to put down."

"Alright, alright," he said, waving his hand at me. "This will give me a chance to run down Skank Lane with Dave one last time." He winked. I rolled my eyes. David laughed.

I stood in front of the DJ table, flipping through the song book and trying to figure out what I wanted to sing. I wasn't quite tipsy enough to make a decision, so I wrote down Jon's choice first. I was about to write down  _White Wedding_  like he wanted, but then I looked over my shoulder and saw him telling Dave that dirty story in a very animated way and I have to admit, I felt a little pissed off. I decided to be a little mean to him, so I picked a song that I thought he would hate and would sound absolutely terrible singing. I gave up on picking something for myself, so I wrote down  _some Journey song….surprise me_.

As I returned to the table, Jon was just finishing up his story.

"Let's just say that I don't fuck around with girls from Nebraska anymore!"

"Jesus, man. You've had a pretty crazy life," David laughed.

Jon lifted up his beer in agreement and finished it off. He looked sadly at the empty bottle.

"I'll go get you another one, you goon," I said, trying not to smile.

"Did you really just call me a goon?"

"Yes…yes I did." I grinned and left.

While I was getting us another round of drinks, the DJ announced the next song. "Next up, we have Jon singing…really?...Jon singing Poker Face. Give it up for him, everyone!"

My smile was so wide that my face was hurting. The look that he gave me when he turned around to stare me down…I wish I could have a painting of it. I started laughing as he stood up and defiantly marched to the stage.

"Fuck it. Yeah, I'm gonna sing me some Lady fucking Gaga and you're all going to be blown away."

I stayed at the bar while he sang. I think I would've been too much of a distraction if I were closer to the stage. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. He sounded like Eric Cartman singing Poker Face on an episode of South Park. It was both magnificent and atrocious at the same time. But dammit, the boy got into it. He was dancing around the stage, flailing his arms and legs around. Pointing to people in the audience and trying to get people into it, which they certainly did. He even got some of Dave's friends to slip money into his jeans, which he rewarded with some gratuitous hip thrusts. I was a complete mess. I felt dizzy from the alcohol and the lack of oxygen to my brain.

When the song was over, he went around giving everyone high fives and fist bumps. He certainly knew how to sell a damn performance. He eventually came up to me, took his beer, and walked away all sassy and proud.

What a ridiculous asshole.

I joined back up with the group, putting an arm around Jon as I sat back down. "Fine, I have to admit it, Jon. You were amazing."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." He wagged his eyebrows and I punched him in the arm. "Oh hey, just so you know, I went to look at the song book after I was done and I took the liberty of picking your Journey song. I think you'll like it."

"Aww, thank you. You can be a real sweetheart sometimes." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Okay everybody! Next we have Lana singing…oh wait, that Jon guy told me to keep it a secret. Well, you'll find out in a moment!"

I glanced over at Jon, who had a devilish grin on his face. "Oh no." I stood up, but paused before going up onto the stage. "What did you do, you dickhead?"

"Hurry up, Lana dear. Everyone is waiting to hear you sing!" I flipped him off and begrudgingly went to the microphone. "I hope you've had enough to drink, darlin'!" he called out, sarcastically.

The music started up and my face dropped. "Seriously?!"

Jon was almost falling out of his chair laughing. It was the fucking Thong Song.

"Fuck, I don't know if I can keep up with this. Ugh, this song is so dumb!"

I put my hand over my face and took a deep breath. I wasn't going to let this asshole win. I tried my best to follow along with the song, but I struggled. The lyrics weren't difficult, but they were faster than I was used to. I generally like to karaoke angry white chick music because it works with my voice. But hip hop? Forget it. I just look like the lamest person in the world. At least Jon was enjoying himself. I guess that was a way to put a positive spin on the situation.

Once I got to the chorus, I caught up and got into the rhythm of it. I was still embarrassed as all hell, though. Thankfully, my hero showed up and saved me.

Dave joined me on stage to try to diffuse some of my humiliation. He began to dance around me, shaking his ass and shimmying his shoulders. By the time the song got to the chorus the second time, I was finally immersed in it. He bent over and started grinding his ass against my pelvis while I pretended to spank him. It was just obscene and if I had been sober and watching someone else doing the same thing, I think I would've felt sorry for them, acting like such fools.

When the song neared the end and it was just a lot of "whoas" over the chorus, he stood up and faced me. I grabbed the top of his jeans and he placed his hands on my hips while I swayed them back and worth. I have to admit that I was getting awfully aroused dancing with him, even if we were doing it jokingly. I wasn't even thinking about the other people in the bar. I was just thinking about him. I was very close to kissing him on stage as the song ended and some of the bar patrons clapped.

I snapped out of my trance and immediately felt myself blush. Dave smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. I gave him a small smile to try to hide my disappointment. I had hoped that he had also gotten worked up. I guess I was alone in that.

We turned to leave the stage and I looked over at Jon. The beautiful laughing smile he had when I started was gone and he looked…he kinda looked upset. I wasn't sure if something had happened while I was on-stage or if he didn't like me making a fool out myself with Dave. Either way, I sat down next to him again and took a sip of my drink.

"That was…special." I looked up at him and he had a slight smirk on his face.

I smiled back, "You're not the only one who can put on a show around here."

"Clearly." He finished off his second drink and leaned back to stretch. "I think I'm going to run outside for a quick smoke break. You wanna come?"

"Nah, I'm going to stay in here." He looked a little disappointed at my answer. "I've tried to be nice about it and not be a nag or anything…but you really should try to quit."

He grunted, gave me a quick head nod, and headed outside.

After waiting a few minutes for him to come back, I decided to go to the bathroom. I normally don't wear make-up, but I had that night, so I wanted to check on it and touch it up if I had to. I did my business and while I was washing my hands, I stared at myself. My make-up was fine. It wasn't smudged or anything. That was good. I thought I looked fairly pretty in it. I didn't put too much on, just enough natural tones to enhance my features.

I noticed that my cheeks were still really flushed. I took a deep breath to try to calm down my nerves. I was still a bit fired up from dancing with Dave. Ah, dammit.

Once I had calmed down and wasn't so obviously horny, I returned to the bar. Jon had come back inside and was chatting up one of the girls from Dave's apartment. He had a new bottle in his hand and she was playing with her hair. Flirtatious behavior, but I suppose I couldn't blame her. I looked around for Dave and spotted him talking to another one of the girls at a separate table. She was rubbing her hand on his back as they talked. I didn't know his relationship with her, but they looked awfully friendly.

I sat down to finish my drink and after a few minutes of sitting alone and staring at the current singer, I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I looked back over at Jon and the girl. They were still chatting, but clearly they had become a lot closer because her hands were casually running up and down his sides. I got up and went to sit at the bar. I ordered another margarita this time because a beer was not going to cut it, the way I was feeling right now. I sighed and rested my head in my hands.

"Something troubling you?" the bartender asked.

"That's awfully stereotypical, don't you think?" I glanced up from my hand and glared at him.

"Yeah, but it usually cheers people up. What's the matter?"

I sighed again and sat up straight. "Just…stupid feelings."

"Care to elaborate?" he laughed.

"No." I sighed as he handed me my drink. "Thanks. I might be here a while." He smiled and nodded, then went back to serving the others.

I nursed my drink for what felt like forever. It was probably only about 10 or 15 minutes, in reality. Eventually, someone sat next to me.

"So why are you over here sulking, hmm?" I turned to look. It was Dave.

"I came out from the bathroom and both you  _and_  Jon were flirting with other girls. I felt left out, that's all. So I decided to drink more to drown those feelings."

"You could've talked to us, you know. It's not like they were important conversations."

"You say that now, but no one likes someone butting into their conversations." I took a sip and wiped my mouth. "Especially when they're getting felt up by some hot chicks," I mumbled.

He laughed at me, clearly catching every word I said. "You are ridiculous sometimes, you know that? You'd rather feel like shit than inconvenience someone a little bit and join in on the fun?"

"No…"

"Then I ask again, why are you over here sulking?"

"Fine, I'll leave." I got up from the bar and turned quickly, walking right into Jon.

"What are you two doing over here? Having a party without me or something?"

"No, I was just-"

"She was just being grumpy about how we were flirting with other girls and not her. We were getting touched and she wasn't," Dave interrupted.

He stood in front of me at his full height with his hands on his hips, and I felt so small next to him. "Oh really? You like to be touched, huh?" He leaned in very close to my face so that our lips were almost touching. "If you want to be touched, Lana, you just have to ask."

"That's right," Dave responded. I felt him come up behind me and place his face very close to my ear. He inhaled deeply, smelling my hair. "Whatever you want, El. You just have to ask."

I was feeling a little claustrophobic with how close they were to me, but I wasn't about to tell them to move away. I could feel David's breath on my neck and it made me shudder. Jon brought his hands very close to my waist, but didn't touch me. They both started to slowly move their hands around my body, but never actually made contact with it. Nevertheless, I was extremely aroused by it. It was like I could feel the sexual energy coming off of their fingers. I know that sounds silly, but it's the only explanation that I can think of. My breathing became heavy and I closed my eyes, soaking in this moment of both men teasing me and trying to get me to say that I wanted them.

"I don't want to beg," I whispered. "Please don't make me…"

"What do you want, Lana?" Jon murmured in my ear.

"I want…fuck, I want you to stop this or I'm going to end up fucking you both in public and I really don't want to get arrested tonight." I gathered up my will power and slipped in between them. While walking back to my seat, I could feel just how wet they had made me. I wasn't about to let them know that, though. Neither of them needed the power trip right now.

I managed to regain my composure as we watched the apartment girls since their own karaoke choices. After a while, Dave stood up.

"I'm going to go pick out a song for myself. I still haven't done one and the girls will give me a hard time if I don't." He smiled and shrugged as he left me and Jon alone.

"Feeling any better?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I just had a weak moment. I'm over it now."

"Happens to the best of us," he said, circling his thumb around the mouth of the bottle. "You seemed like you were having fun up there during your song."

My felt my cheeks grow hot again. "I did." I felt him staring at me and it made me feel self-conscious. Thankfully Dave came back to nullify the tension.

"Okay, that's all set then!"

"What song did you pick?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll see. I think you'll like it."

"Alright ladies and gentleman, next up, we have a duet! Lana and Jon, come on up!" the DJ announced. We both turned to look at each other.

"Did you…?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. Did you?"

"No." I looked over at the DJ, who was waving us up onstage.

"Hurry up, you two! Your song is about to start!" Dave pushed us toward the stage.

"You bastard, you didn't sign up for a song at all!" I glared back at him.

"Oops, you caught me. Now go sing together like a couple."

We sheepishly walked up to the microphone. "So what song is it?" Jon asked. The opening notes to  _Total Eclipse of the Heart_  started.

"Are you fucking kidding me, David?" I asked.

"If you're using my full name, I must be in trouble, huh?" he grinned.

"Fine. Do you want to sing the male or female parts?" I asked.

"The female part, of course. Dude, the male part is just background vocals. Do I really look like the kind of guy who wants to be in the background?"

"Not at all," I laughed.

Oddly enough, we sounded pretty good together. His raspy crooning worked surprisingly well for the song and I started to get really into my bits. When the chorus hit, we just said fuck it and sang together. I fear for anyone who may have been sober in that bar because we probably sounded like cats singing, but dammit, in my inebriated state, we sounded fucking fantastic. When the song ended, he grabbed my head and kissed me. It was remarkably sweet.

Shortly after, we decided to call it a night. As we were paying our tabs and getting our coats on, I asked Dave what his duet stunt was all about.

"You guys both were acting a bit weird tonight. I don't know Jon that well, but he seemed a bit distant from you at times and you were definitely jealous of him when he was flirting with the girls. I'm actually thinking he may have started talking to them because he was jealous of you when we were dancing. It was pretty obvious that you were enjoying it."

"I don't think we were jealous," I said. Jon came up to me after paying our tab and I handed him his hoodie. "Hey, were we jealous of each other tonight?"

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Okay, so you guys are stubborn and can continue to deny it, but I'm pretty damn sure that I hit the nail on the head."

We said our goodbyes outside and headed to my car, leaving Dave and the girls to walk back to their apartment complex.

"So do you want to go back to my place…or do you want to stop at one more special surprise location?" I asked.

An impish grin crossed his face. "What did you have in mind?"

* * *

"You know, for as much wild shit as I've done over the years...I have never had a chick take me to a strip club before."

"I bet you've been to a lot of strip clubs though, huh?"

He tilted his head toward me and gave me a look. "Bitch, look at me. All around the world, they call me the rainmaker."

I put my hand over my eyes and laughed. "I call bullshit because I know you weren't that rich before you got signed."

"Oh, I never said I was using hundreds or anything. I'd use pennies and nickels." He acted out tossing coins at strippers. He smiled as he made me laugh. Maybe the alcohol had really set in, but it felt like we were having a better time here than we did singing karaoke. Maybe it was the mostly naked woman writhing on the stage in front of us that made things better.

We were sitting close to each other and he was rubbing my arm while we watched the woman perform. I was still on edge from all the teasing from before and his fingers gently caressing me was torture.

The girl collected her tips and left the stage, then the DJ announced the next dancer. "Alright fellas, give it up for La-la-la-Lana!"

My face went white. Jon's face lit up.

"HA!" He pointed at me with his mouth open. "I fucking TOLD you! I told you the day I met you that Lana was a fucking stripper name!"

I pursed my lips and punched his arm. "Okay fine, but I wasn't named after one, asshole!"

Then the woman, who shared the same name as me, at least for work purposes, stepped out on stage. She had beautiful blonde hair that rested right above her shoulders. She came out in a sleek sports coat and pencil skirt. She looked gorgeous and I would've been one hundred percent fine if she stayed in that the whole time. As she danced and began to remove her clothes, we discovered that she had some bonkers legs and a killer ass. I found myself feeling aroused and jealous at the same time.

When she was finished, Jon looked at me and laughed. "You were really into her, weren't you?"

"Hell yeah, did you see her? She was smoking hot. I'm not normally into blondes, but damn." He cleared his throat and pointed at himself. "Oops," I laughed. "Okay, I'm normally not into blondes that are as blonde as her, how about that? Yours is a lot darker."

"I'll take that. You're right, though, she was really hot. I'd bang her."

"Yeah, but you'd bang everyone." He didn't try to argue against my statement. He just winked.

Moments later, I saw stripper Lana emerge from a side door and come out onto the main floor. She had put a mini skirt and bikini top on, which was more than the g-string that she had left the stage in. I told Jon I had to go to the bathroom and excused myself, but actually I went up to talk to her.

"Hi Lana…my name is Lana."

She laughed and shook my hand. "My real name of course is not Lana." She spoke with a strong Russian accent. "It's just a work name."

"I figured as much. So I was wondering if you were willing to do a private show for me and my boyfriend. I'm trying to surprise him with it. I don't have a lot of money on me right now, but I can give you what I have. What would $100 get me?"

"Ahh, that's a little lower than I like to charge, but you are very polite. Who is your boyfriend? Is he here?"

I pointed Jon out to here. He was entranced with the girl currently on stage and didn't even notice us staring at him.

"Oh my. He is very cute. Yes. Yes I will do a private show. I'd say that I'd do it for free, but I have to make a living, yes? Meet me in the Rose Room."

I laughed and thanked her. "Let me go get him."

"Did you get lost?" he asked playfully when I returned.

"No, but come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. Just come with me."

I guided him by the arm through the tables of people and over into the back hallway. I knocked on the door marked "Rose Room" and heard Lana say  _come in!_  I opened the door and pulled him inside. Lana was standing there in her bikini top and g-string.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shook my head and smiled. "You are, like, the coolest bitch ever." He pulled me toward him and kissed me hard.

"Hey, hey," I said, breaking away. "It's not like she's all for you. I want a piece, too!"

"You are a cute couple. Now, you said your names were Jon and Lana? Do you want me to play some music or no?" Lana asked us, trying to get started.

"No music. I want to hear the moans that I know will be coming from this Lana's mouth." He stared at me, running his tongue along his bottom lip.

We sat down and got comfortable. I took out the money and handed it to Lana first, just to make sure I didn't forget. She shook her head and told me that she would tell me when to give it to her.

She started with Jon first. She straddled his legs and began to grind and writhe against him. He had the biggest, goofiest smile on his face. He was just too damn cute. Eventually I noticed his hands flexing and grabbing at the back on his chair. He so wanted to touch her and make her moan his name, but he knew about the club's no touch policy. His eyes became dark and his face was flushed. I could tell that he was very turned on and if she gave the word, he would pin her down right here, tear off her panties, and bury his dick in her pussy.

Eventually, Lana picked herself up off of Jon, stroking his face as she did. She came over and walked around me. "I allow women to touch me, if you'd like, sweet Lana." She brushed her hand over my arm as she spoke and I shivered and nodded. She straddled me like she did to Jon, but fully sat in my lap. She had more hovered over Jon's lap, teasing his dick, but not touching it. "You can hold my hips, sweetheart."

I carefully placed my hands on her hips. Her skin was so soft and it rubbed against the palms of my hands and she moved. She rested her head against mind and wrapped her arms around my neck. It felt less dirty than what she did with Jon. It was much sweeter. I slid my hands up her sides and lightly brushed my fingers against her breasts. A faint moan escaped both of our lips. I could hear Jon swear over in his seat.

Eventually she leaned back and told me to get the money. I was about to hand it to her when she put her finger on my lips.

"No, no, my dear. I want you to put it in my g-string…with your mouth." She bit her lip and I swallowed hard. It had been so long since I had been this close to a woman, let alone her pussy.

I put the money between my teeth and she stood up to give me better access. I leaned over and hooked a finger under her g-string, pulling it back so I could place the money inside. I kissed her skin above the hem when I was done and she stroked my hair as a reward.

We thanked her and Jon gave her another $200. I felt bad because I wanted to treat him, but he insisted. We shook hands and as I headed out the door, she smacked me on the ass, making me squeak.

* * *

"Your pussy feels so fucking good. It's a good thing your car has a lot of room in the front."

We never made it out of the parking garage. We were both so pent up that he easily convinced me to have sex right there in the car.  _There aren't any cars around yours. No one will see us, don't worry_ , he'd said. I probably would've said yes even if there were cars around us and people milling about. I was so damn horny that I would've fucked him out on the asphalt next to the car.

"Would you believe me if I said that I specifically bought this car for that reason?" I said, holding on to his shoulders.

"Probably not. That sounds like something I'd do. Drive a truck with a bench seat so I can fuck chicks in it." He squeezed my hips a little tighter and began to thrust up into me like he was trying to prove his point or something.

"Yeah, you would do that, you fucking slut," I purred with a big smile on my face. He was technically an adult, but it felt like he was sometimes stuck in the mentality of a senior in high school. "Seriously though, I bought this in college, expecting that I'd be having lots of sex in here, but I didn't."

"Well, we're fixing that right now, huh?" He pulled my shirt up and over my head. He stared at my tits for a moment, watching them jiggle just a little every time I moved up and down.

I smiled and nodded at him before leaning in to nibble his neck. He grabbed my hips hard and started to thrust faster into my pussy, taking the control away from me and claiming it for himself.

"You know how I get when you bite my neck, bitch…" he moaned.

I laughed softly against his skin. "I do, and that's why I'm doing it." I moved my mouth up to his ear and whispered, "I want to see your marks on me for a week and I don't want to be able to walk tomorrow."

That was enough of a green light for him. He dug his fingers hard into my ass and I winced as his fingernails definitely left some sort of mark on me. He began thrusting as hard and fast as he could in the passenger seat of a car. I buried my face in his neck, intending to continue nipping at him, but I ended up just moaning.

"You looked so fucking hot with that stripper grinding on you," he growled. "Your face was all pink and I could see how turned on you were. I bet you left a wet spot in that chair. Fuck…I was afraid that my cock was going to punch itself out of my jeans. I wish I could've fucked you both right there in that room."

I grabbed his shoulders and squeezed tightly as I felt my orgasm come up fast. I managed to open my mouth and bite into his neck one last time as my body seized up and my pussy throbbed around his cock. With all of the teasing throughout the night, this was too much for him and he came hard right after I did.

We sat there holding each other for a while as we cooled down. Once I had caught my breath, I pulled my head back and looked at him, laughing.

"What's so funny?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Just this whole scene. We're both almost 30, but we're fucking in a car like a bunch of teenagers."

"Hey, you're never too old to fuck in a car." He winked and I rested my head back on his chest. "You know, you really did look amazingly sexy with that stripper."

"Honestly, I felt really sexy. It's been so long since I've been that up close and personal with a woman. It made me remember why I had enjoyed that one time in college. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that night and do it again."

There was a long moment of silence. I was almost afraid that what I had said had bothered him or made him uncomfortable, but then he spoke up.

"Hey Lana? Would you join me in a threesome?"


	19. Three's a Crowd

"I...you...what?"

I know that Jon had said some words, but I wasn't sure if I had heard them clearly. I needed some confirmation.

"Would you have a threesome with me?"

Yeah, I had heard correctly the first time.

"Uh...this is kind of sudden." I lifted myself off of his lap and crawled over into the driver's seat. I had raised my hips and pulled down my skirt so that I didn't get my seat wet. "Why did you think it was a good idea to ask me this right after sex?"

"Well fuck, I wasn't going to ask before or during sex, just in case you reacted badly,” he replied as he pulled off his condom and wiped himself off with his shirt. “And when else would be a good time to bring it up? Out at dinner?"

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hand. "I'm not freaking out at the question. You just kinda sprang it on me during my afterglow. I wasn't really prepared for it."

I looked down at my hands resting on my lap. I twiddled my thumbs anxiously, trying to put my thoughts together.

"What sort of threesome are you suggesting?" I asked.

"Well, I had never really thought about asking you if you'd be interested, but after watching you with that stripper tonight...I thought it would be really hot to have a three-way with you and another woman. I know you've enjoyed being with a woman before and you really seemed to be feeling something off of Lana...I thought maybe it was worth a shot to see if you'd want to give it a try."

I didn’t respond immediately, letting his words wash over me. I wasn’t quite sure what to say. Honestly, I loved the idea, but something was holding me back. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

“I don’t know, Jon…this is kind of a lot to be asking me…”

He took out his phone and messed around with it. “If it helps you with your decision, this is the friend I’d be asking.”

“Oh, I’d do her,” I blurted out, surprising myself and making him laugh.

The woman on his phone looked like a young Salma Hayek from _Desperado_. She had been one of my secret girl crushes for years.

“Would it be okay if we went back to my place and slept on it? I need to think about it before I say yes or no. I don’t think I can think clearly enough to make a definite answer right now.”

He laughed and rubbed my shoulder. “You can thank those fruity bullshit drinks for that. Maybe next time, just stick with beer, yeah?” I gave him a sideways glance and a small smile. “Yeah, I’m feeling tired, too. That’s what busting a nut in a parking garage does to me, I guess.”

“That’s the dumbest phrase ever and you are the dumbest man ever.” I turned the key and put the truck in reverse.

“You love it,” he smirked.

“Yeah, I do.”

* * *

The next morning I didn’t feel any more confident about my answer. I figured I should talk to someone about it who wasn’t Jon. I needed someone to be my sounding board and help me organize my thoughts. There was only one person who could handle that job.

“This feels really weird,” Dave said as he sipped from the mug of coffee I had handed him before I joined him on the couch.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“It’s before 9 am and I’m here in your apartment talking about threesomes with my fuck buddy. It just feels like something out of a stupid movie.”

“I’m sorry I called you so early, but I couldn’t get back to sleep and Jon was out running, so I figured it was as good a time as any.” I sighed and rubbed my neck. “So what do you think?”

He put the mug down and wiped his mouth. "Well first off, do you want to do it because you want to or because you think it will make him happy? Because if you're just doing it just to please him, I could see you regretting it.”

"I'm pretty sure I want to do it for me, not for him. It has been a long time since I was with a woman and I think I would like to do it again. Preferably sober this time."

"Then what's the problem?"

“I don’t know. It just makes me a little uncomfortable to know that he’s getting it so easily…if that makes any sense.”

Dave laughed at me and nodded. “Yeah, I get where you’re coming from. Like it’s the hot-blooded male fantasy to have a threesome with two women and he’s getting it without much of a fight?”

“Exactly. Which I know is ridiculous, but I sort of feel like I should be a bitch and use it to get something from him. Like use it to haggle.”

“What do you think you’d want? He seems like a pretty open dude. I don’t know if there’d be anything he’d need to haggle over.”

“I don’t know. That’s why I feel sort of stuck.”

The apartment door opened and we both looked over to see Jon come back from his work out. Every time I saw him return all sweaty and messy, it was like I was seeing it for the first time. File post-exercise sweatiness under instant turn-ons.

He looked surprised to see Dave. “What are you guys up to?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I asked him to come over because I needed someone to talk to and you were out,” I answered.

“Okay, that’s cool.”

He came over and plopped down on the other side of me. I could smell the sweat on his skin and his musky scent diffusing in the air around me. It took all my will power to not lean over and lick his neck right then and there. The only reason I held back was because Dave was there with us. But why should I feel weird about it? I’ve been intimate with both of them and it’s not like that’s a secret. As long as I then licked Dave’s neck after, everything would be even, right? Then maybe Jon would put his hand on my thigh and Dave would do the same and then…and then…

“Hey El, are you okay?” Dave’s voice woke me from my daydream.

“Yeah, you look a little flushed there,” Jon added.

“Oh. Um. Yeah, I’m fine.” I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up. “Uh…so I had called Dave because I needed to discuss the whole threesome proposition with someone and he’s my closest friend.”

“No problem. Did you figure out what you wanted to do?” Jon asked.

“I think so, yes. I do want to have another woman join us. I always kind of wanted to have another female experience and going to that strip club last night really confirmed that for me.”

Jon wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. “You’re the best,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

“Hang on,” I said, pulling myself away. “I have something I want from you, though, before I completely agree to this.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I want to fuck you and Dave at the same time.” That certainly came out more abruptly than I had intended.

I stared straight ahead, afraid to look directly at either man. I did manage to glance at both of them out of the corner of my eyes. Dave looked a bit shocked, but I couldn’t blame him. I hadn’t been able to clue him in ahead of time and see how he felt about it. Jon looked amused. Almost proud, perhaps? I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and wanted to hide my face, but was afraid to move.

“If you two are okay with that…of course.”

“Would you expect us to do stuff together, or…?” Jon asked.

“No! I mean, unless you guys wanted to. I won’t deny that I’d like to see that, but no…I was thinking more about having two cute guys worshipping me with their cocks.”

“Jesus Christ! When did you get so horny, El?” Dave laughed.

“Honestly? I blame him.” I nodded my head toward Jon. “So…would you two be up for that?”

“I would be, El. I love seeing your reactions when we’re together, so this just means I can pull up a chair and watch for a bit,” Dave responded.

“Yeah, I’m down with that, too.” Jon placed his hand on my thigh and slowly slid his hand up and inward.

I stared at his hand creeping up and took in a deep breath. Was he trying to start now? Dave leaned over and began kissing my neck, his sure-fire way to get me to respond.

“Ahh…Dave…please…” I breathed out.

Jon’s hand quickly jumped up and cupped my pussy through my pants as he nestled his face against my neck as well. He, of course, was much rougher than Dave, biting and grazing his teeth along my skin.

“No…Jon….don’t….”

“I thought this is what you wanted, El?” Dave mumbled against my neck.

“I do…just…not yet.” I managed to squirm away from them onto the floor and crawled away a few feet. Picking myself off the floor, I turned around and glared at them. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Good, I’ll join you. I need to shower anyway,” Jon added.

“No! It’s going to be a cold one and you’re not going to help!” I quickly shuffled to the bathroom and heard Jon call back to me.

“Just think of that as a sneak preview!”

I turned around in the doorway and saw him stick his tongue out at me.

“Not helping!” I yelled as I closed the door.

* * *

 When I got out of the shower, Dave was gone, but Jon was still on the couch. I sat down next to him and sighed.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“I’m able to think more clearly, yes.” I glanced over at him and he smiled.

“So do you want to restart the conversation from last night?”

“Yeah. Talking to Dave helped a lot and I thought about it a bit more in the shower. So tell me about this friend of yours.”

“Her name is Mercedes and she lives in Tampa. I met her when I was in developmental. She was one of my neighbors. I invited her to join me and a few of the other boys for a drink one night and…well you know how it goes.”

“All too clearly,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully.

“Anyway, we messed around every once in a while. I still visit her whenever we’re in the area.”

“So she’s one of your ‘regulars’ then? Have you fucked her since I’ve known you?”

“Yeah, last time we were in Tampa, we banged. I told you about her, but you know I never use names.”

“Did you guys ever date?”

“Nah, if she and I had ever dated, we wouldn’t still be friends right now.”

I made a sort of grunting noise and then we were both quiet for a while. I leaned over and rested against his shoulder. She was gorgeous and I knew that sexually I was definitely on board for this. A stunning woman and the man that could make my toes curl just by smiling at me together at one time? How could I not say yes to that? But I wondered if I could handle this emotionally and mentally, you know? This would be the first time that I actually saw one of the girls he slept with and not only that, but I would be watching him fuck her right in front of me. Sure, I’d be involved too, in one way or another, but this was a first for me. Listening to him talk about the girls he’s been with was such a turn on, but was that because I really liked it or because the concept of it was arousing? I wasn’t sure…

…but I decided to give it a shot.

“So when are we going to do this thing?” I tilted my head up and smiled at him. He smiled back, picked up my hand and kissed it.

* * *

 The plan was for me to fly in on a Tuesday a few weeks later and meet  Jon and the boys outside the bar where we were supposed to meet Mercedes.

I was a nervous wreck for the entire flight. I almost felt like I was on my way to lose my virginity again or something.

I waited outside for them and was getting a bit worried when they finally showed up. Roman gave me a big hug, so that made any bad feelings I had disappear. It had been a while since I’d seen him and Seth, so it was nice. It was a shame that I wasn’t really going to be able to hang out with them tonight.

“So…big night tonight, eh?” Seth grinned at me.

“Don’t be a dirty pervert, Seth,” I winked back.

“I’m not the one having a threesome tonight, Lana.”

“…touché, sir.”

“But I should call home and see if I can get one planned for the next time I have a day off…”

“A-ha! Sir! You are a dirty perv!”

“I never said I wasn’t,” he grinned.

As we filed into the bar, we heard a high-pitched squeal crack through the air. I looked around, expecting to see some herd of fangirls trample over me to get to the guys, but instead, I saw the lovely woman who I was going to be able to spend the night with push through the crowd of people.

“I hope she doesn’t squeal like that during sex,” I whispered to Jon. “It’s kinda annoying.”

“I wouldn’t know. Her dick is usually in my mouth or her head is shoved into a pillow.”

I punched him in the arm, but laughed. “You’re terrible and awesome.”

He headed toward her to greet her, leaving me, Seth, and Roman alone. I spotted a table way in the back and the three of us went to go sit down.

“So you’re really doing this?” Roman asked.

“Sure. Why, is that weird to you?”

“I just never pegged you to be that sort of girl.”

“I guess I’m just full of surprises. Then again, I’ve never been completely open about my bisexual tendencies. I’ve never really been able to sort them out in my head and it’s not like I’m going to go around saying ‘hi, my name is Lana and I am bisexual’. This allows me to try it out again and with someone I care about.”

“Care about, huh? Have you told him you love him yet?” asked Seth.

“I don’t love him,” I snapped. “I mean…I don’t know. It came out during an orgasm once, months ago, but I don’t feel that way about him. He’s just a really good friend who knows how to press all my right buttons.”

“Uh-huh…sure,” Seth mumbled.

I scowled at him. He was starting to sound like Dave.

Jon and Mercedes managed to work their way over to us with some drinks in hand. She sat down next to me and Jon sat on the other side of her.

“Lana, this is Mercedes. Mercedes, this is Lana.”

“Pleased to meet you, Lana,” she smiled and took a sip of her beer.

“Same. You’re gorgeous, by the way. In case you didn’t already know that,” I said, reaching for my own drink.

She laughed and smiled. “Thank you, sweetheart. You’re pretty hot too, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“Are you kidding me? Why would I mind?!”

Once the first round of drinks was finished, Mercedes excused herself to go order the second round.

“I’ll be right back, Deany Bear,” she said, kissing him on the cheek.

I glanced over at Seth and Roman and mouthed “Deany Bear?”. They just shrugged and chuckled to themselves.

“So what do you think of her?” Jon asked.

“Other than the fact that she’s able to use ridiculous nicknames on you, but you won’t let me call you Tiger, I like her.”

“She didn’t know my real name for almost a year, so she just kinda started calling me that and it stuck. I can’t say it’s my favorite thing, but I let her do it.”

“You can’t tell me that Tiger is any worse than fucking ‘Deany Bear’. But like I said, she seems pretty cool. I’m excited for later.”

“After this next round, do you want to head back to her place?”

“I’d go now,” I admitted.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my chair. I waved goodbye at a laughing Seth and Roman as I was dragged away.

* * *

 Mercedes’ apartment was really nice. Maybe I was paying so much attention to the furniture and the paintings on the wall because I was so nervous and, honestly, unsure about how this whole shindig was going to start.

“Do you want a drink, Lana?” she asked, her smile beaming at me from the kitchen.

“Yeah. That would probably be a good idea,” I said, wrenching my hands.

Jon came up from behind me and slid his arms around my waist. “Are you okay? You seem nervous.”

“I am.”

“You weren’t nervous at all with that stripper, it seemed. Just think of Mercedes as a stripper.”

“Dude, that’s terrible! And I wasn’t nervous around her because one, she was doing her job, and two, the prospect of sex wasn’t looming on the horizon.” I sighed and placed my hands on his. “I guess I’m just not sure how this is going to start, you know?”

“It’s easy. One of us just takes our pants off first.”

“That’ll probably be you, right?” I looked back at him and he laughed.

“Yeah, probably.”

Mercedes then came back into the living room with a whiskey for Jon and what looked like two tequila sunrises for us.

“I hope you’re okay with this, Lana. Jon told me you like fruity drinks and this was the best I could come up with.”

“Fruity drinks getting me drunk faster. I can drink almost anything.”

“The faster you get drunk, the faster we can have some fun, no?” She winked and sat down on the other side of me so that I was sandwiched in between the two of them.

It felt a bit odd. Was I the third wheel here? Was it just because I was acting nervous and they were trying to make me feel more comfortable? Could they sense my anxiety about somehow being left out of this?

Fuck, I was getting in my head already. Hopefully once things started, I’d be too preoccupied with other endeavors to think too much.

Jon put his arm behind my head and Mercedes put her free hand on my thigh. This was moving fairly quickly. I downed my drink faster than I normally would because I needed to lose some inhibitions and fast. She began to slowly rub my thigh and it felt really nice. I had decided to wear jeans that night rather than a skirt. I don’t know why. Probably nerves. She had worn a flowing dress that showed off her near-perfect legs. I really wanted to touch them to see what her skin felt like.

I felt Jon’s hand move and noticed that he was playing with Mercedes’ hair and dragging his fingers along her neck. A brief pang of jealousy ran through me until I realized that I needed to be proactive. I put down my empty glass and placed a hand on each of their thighs. Jon laughed and then leaned over to kiss my neck.

Well that did it.

“You need to take your pants off right now,” I ordered, making him laugh harder.

“Damn, how strong did I make that drink?” Mercedes asked.

“I kissed her neck. That’s her weakness,” he explained as he stood up and unbuttoned his pants.

“Why didn’t you say so?”

She placed one hand on my shoulder and the other stayed on my thigh as she tilted her head and lightly kissed my neck.

“Oh god…” I moaned.

The alcohol had started to hit me, and fast. I watched as Jon pulled his pants and boxer briefs down to his ankles. His cock was already at attention. I couldn’t blame him, though. Mercedes was hot as hell and he was probably pretty amped that he was getting two pussies tonight instead of one. He grabbed his dick and slowly stroked it while he watched Mercedes work her soft lips on my neck. I looked up into his eyes and he could see the hazy desperation on my face. He licked his bottom lip and beckoned to me with his finger.

“Get down here, Lana. I want you to suck my cock.”

I reluctantly pulled away from her, but I was eager to feel Jon’s dick in my mouth. I wrapped my hands around the backs of his thighs and kissed the tip of his cock. I could hear Mercedes taking off her dress behind me and I had to use all my will power to not turn around and look. I then parted my lips and slid my mouth over his thick shaft, feeling that familiar warmth and smelling the musky scent of his skin. He stroked my head and sighed as I began to work my lips and tongue, sucking gently for now.

Mercedes came up beside me and I could feel her skin against my arm. It was so soft and smooth. She stroked Jon’s bare ass and kissed his upper thighs. She then laughed quietly and leaned over to kiss me on the neck again. I moaned around Jon’s dick as she lightly nipped at me.

I felt her hands find the front of my pants and she proceeded to remove them for me. I had to lift my legs a little bit to help her, but I kept my mouth around Jon’s cock. It tasted too damn good to stop right now. She slid her hands up my sides till she reached my bra. I felt my breasts fall out of the cups as she unhooked the back. My nipples hardened quickly once they were exposed. She found this out herself once she placed her hands over my tits and gave them a light squeeze.

“Can I have a taste of him?” she whispered in my ear.

I pulled him out of my mouth and I kissed her. Her lips were just as soft as the rest of her body. Our tongues briefly touched and I could taste the tequila still on her. She caressed my face as she broke the kiss and leaned over to run her tongue up the length of his dick.

She grabbed the base with her hand and slid the remainder into her mouth, twisting her hand as she sucked. I took this opportunity to remove my shirt and take off the rest of my bra. I wiggled out of my panties as well, since it would be a little silly of me to be the only one to be wearing any sort of clothing.

Once I was completely naked, I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back. I don’t think I had ever seen him look that blissful during a blowjob before. Was it because of Mercedes? Was that how he liked getting head the best? Was it because he had two different mouths to fuck?

No. Stop it, Lana. Just enjoy the sight of your boyfriend in ecstasy.

I lowered my head under Mercedes’ hand and ran the tip of my tongue along his balls. I heard him curse under his breath when he felt the warm moisture against his skin. I sucked a ball into my mouth while she continued to suck sloppily on his cock.

“Jesus fucking Christ… You two are going to have to stop or I’m gonna blow all over you,” he moaned.

“Mm, you know I like that, baby,” Mercedes answered after she took him out of her mouth.

“Yeah, but I want to fuck you before I cum. Get up here.”

She stood up and ran her hands up his stomach as she did. “Mmm, you’re in even better shape than the last time I saw you.

I moved my head to the side and looked up at them. His hands were firmly cupping her ass and her arms were around his neck. They were deep into a very passionate kiss. I watched the muscles in his neck flex slightly under his skin and found myself getting wet when I heard the soft moans coming from Mercedes.

She broke away from the kiss and smoothed her hands down his arms. “Seriously. God bless Crossfit.”

They immediately went back to making out and I began to feel jealous again. What should I do when they seem to be that into each other? Do I kiss their legs? Do I stand up and massage his ass? Do I move behind her and finger her? I suppose any of those options would have been better than what I did, which was stay on the floor, frozen. It was like I was entranced by these two gorgeous naked people rubbing up against each other.

Then…and I don’t know if this was intentional or by accident, but it felt like I was nudged aside by Mercedes’ leg before she jumped up and wrapped her legs around Jon’s waist.

Maybe it was to make sure that she didn’t accidentally kick me in the face. That sounded plausible. But maybe it was because I was in their way. That could also be plausible, despite the fact that she had been nice to me so far and seemed to be a little into me, too. It didn’t help that Jon seemed to have forgotten I was there as well.

I watched as he carried her toward her an open door and disappeared into her bedroom. The door was nudged so that it closed most of the way, but wasn’t shut completely.

I suppose that answered things for me. I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. I figured I’d get dressed and maybe try to see if Seth and Roman were still at the bar down the street. They’d make me feel better and hopefully help me get drunk enough to forget that this night ever happened.

I turned around to look for where my clothing had landed when I tossed it aside. I grabbed my panties and bent over to step inside and pull them up. I suddenly felt a large hand smack my ass and I bolted upright.

“What the fuck?!” I yelled as I spun around.

Jon was standing there with his eyebrows raised. “Are you coming or what?”

“I don’t want to interrupt-“

He didn’t allow me to finish my thought. He immediately picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, then walked back into the bedroom. He placed me down near the headboard of the bed. Mercedes was already lying down spread eagle on top of the sheets.

She really was a sight to be seen. Her skin was a beautiful light caramel color. You could tell that she definitely took advantage of the Tampa weather, but she also took very good care of her skin. Her breasts were so full and perky. I definitely envied her for that. Her hips were full and her waist was just narrow enough to gently taper into her hips and ass. When people talk about loving women with curves, they’re talking about women like her.

Jon obviously loved it. He had returned to the foot of the bed now that he had put on a condom. He grabbed her ankles and pushed her legs up as he climbed onto the bed. He rubbed his cock between her swollen lips before he pushed the tip inside of her. He stared at me while he slid inside of her. Maybe to judge my reaction, I don’t know. What I do know is that I found it really sexy.

He turned his attention back to her, rubbing his hands along her thighs and up to her hips. He thrust in with long, slow strokes that I imagined must have felt like torture to her. His eyes wandered along her body and he smiled at the reaction he was getting from her.

She reached her hand up and placed it on his chest. “Baby, you know I love to be teased by you, but I haven’t had any dick in a few months, so I need you to fucking destroy me right now.”

I could see the look in his eyes change. He laid his body on top of hers and sucked one of her nipples into her mouth. His hips started to thrust much faster and a lot harder. His thrusts weren’t as deep, but she didn’t seem to care. He put one hand in between their bodies and I assume he started to rub her clit because her moans got a lot louder and her back arched. He took his other hand and covered her mouth with it. That must be a personal favorite of hers because it wasn’t very long before her body was tense and shaking underneath him.

I know it sounds odd, but it was at this moment that I suddenly realized that I was watching my boyfriend fuck another woman in front of me. This was the sort of thing he did every time he’d text me saying he was going to be with someone, right? I was okay with it, right? I was turned on by hearing about it and if my very wet pussy was any indication, watching it in person turned me on, too, but it still felt strange. I was staring it right in the face and it was like I was being forced to accept it. I think a part of me had always hoped that he was just making up dirty stories to tell me and that he wasn’t really going out and fucking other women so regularly. This made it very clear that he was not just concocting sexy tales for me.

He moved his hand from her mouth and leaned in to kiss her. It looked like a very gentle, almost loving kiss. I pursed my lips. He did remember that I was here, right? He didn’t pull out of her after she came, either. He kept pumping his dick into her slowly like he did when he started. He pulled himself upright again and looked at me. He crooked his finger and beckoned me over to him with a deliciously devilish grin on his face.

I crawled over and he took my chin in his hand, kissing me just as tenderly as he had to her.

“Why don’t you sit on her face and face the headboard so I can see your fine ass while she eats your pussy?”

My eyes widened and then a smile followed. “That’s something I didn’t do with the girl back in college.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” he said, letting go of my face.

“Are you okay with that Mercedes?” I asked as I turned around.

“Fuck yeah, get that pretty pussy over here.” I could see why they got along so well. Her dirty talk was very similar to his.

I moved further up the bed and straddled her head. It felt kind of weird, like I was afraid I was going to smother her. I held on to the top of the headboard and made sure that I just sort of hovered above her face. I thought that was alright, until she grabbed my hips and firmly pulled down on them so that I was literally sitting on her face. I was still self-conscious, but she quickly silenced my worries by sloppily sucking on my lips and flicking her tongue out to tease my clit.

My toes curled almost instantly. This was definitely not her first time going down on a woman. …Did I dare say it?

“She’s better than you, Jon,” I mumbled through a moan.

“What was that?” he asked. “I don’t think I heard you correctly…” I could tell that he was being a dick and just wanted to hear me say it again because I felt his hand tease my ass cheek with a few soft slaps.

“I said she’s better than you at eating pussy, asshole!”

I heard him laugh from behind me, clearly amused. I drowned him out after that, completely focusing on the soft, plush lips that were underneath me. I subconsciously started to rock my hips back and forth a little, grinding my pussy against her tongue. The closer I got to orgasm, the faster I moved. Once she grabbed my ass with her hands and dug her fingernails in, it didn’t take much longer for me cum. I came so hard that I was afraid that my thighs would crush her head. Is that even possible?

Once I had regained myself, I turned to look over my shoulder at Jon. I was surprised to see that he was no longer fucking Mercedes, but he was kneeling on the floor, leaning against the bed and watching me with a ridiculous shit-eating grin on his face.

“Enjoy yourself, bitch?”

“Yeah, no thanks to you.”

“Oh I don’t know about that,” he answered, standing up and coming closer to me. “I’m the one who brought you to her, yeah? I knew she would make you feel _really_ good.” He ran his thumb over my lips. “I want to fuck you, Lana.”

That sentence would never cease to make me dripping wet.

"I'll only fuck you if I get to taste her pussy while you do," I teased after I pulled his hand away from my mouth.

"Oh man, I don't know...if that's the only way…" What an idiot. Trying to act all coy while he has a massive grin on his face and a hard cock between his legs.

I playfully pushed him in the chest and finally climbed off of Mercedes. I sat on the edge of the bed and lied back down after she moved.

"Fuck me like this and push my legs up."

"I'll hold them up for you. Would you like that?” Mercedes purred.

I reached for her and she leaned down close enough so that I could pull her face toward mine. "I would love for you to sit on my face and hold my legs." I kissed her and could taste myself, which made my skin prickle.

She proceeded to throw her leg over me and sink down until her pussy touched my mouth. The scent of her arousal was very strong, but not unpleasant. I opened my mouth and sucked on her outer lip. Just as soft and smooth as the rest of her body. I felt her hands begin to play with my breasts. Her fingertips gently rubbed my nipples and she gave them a sharp pinch once they had hardened. I stuck out my tongue and ran it up the length of her pussy in response.

I could hear her moan softly over the sound of Jon changing his condom.

Soon my legs were being lifted into the air and I felt her long fingernails lightly grazing across my skin. It was quite a turn on to not be able to see what either of them was doing. I felt Jon rub his cock against my pussy and then push inside with one big thrust. I was so turned on by that point that he went in easily and didn’t have to go slow with me.  He did seem a little unsure about where to put his hands, though. He ended up grabbing onto my thighs and using them to help him thrust harder.

The sound of his flesh connecting with mine mixed with Mercedes’ breathy moans filled my ears. I could feel her clit hardening against my tongue as she began to ride my face. Her moans were getting louder and her grip on my ankles was getting tighter, so I began to suck on her clit to try to get her over the edge. That did the trick. I could feel her clit twitch between my lips as she came. It was a sensation that I hadn’t felt in years and I enjoyed it just as much as I had back then.

“Cum for me, baby,” I could hear Jon whisper. He had slowed down his thrusts to almost a stand-still. “That’s my girl.”

Mercedes continued to rock her hips against my face slowly as she came down. The sound in the room switched to relaxed muffled moans. I know how enjoyable it can be to kiss after orgasm, but I was trapped under here while they were doing it. Something about it just didn’t sit right with me.

Thankfully she got off of me after a moment and I could see the whole room again. I was greeted by Jon’s lecherous grin.

“So how was it?” he asked.

“Just as delicious as I remembered from college. I think more so because I’m not as drunk as I was back then.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He turned to Mercedes who was cleaning herself up a bit. “Baby, could you give me a hand?”

I felt a jolt of uneasiness fill my mind when I heard him call her that. She was ‘baby’, but I was ‘bitch’? I didn’t have long to dwell on that thought because I suddenly had Mercedes’ mouth latched onto one of my nipples and Jon thrusting like he had never stopped.

My back arched and I pounded my fist into the bed. I hadn’t realized just how sensitive my nipples were that night until I had her mouth biting and sucking on them. Jon had pushed my legs up again and was running his tongue up and down my ankles. My toes curled up immediately and he had to tighten his grip on my legs to stop me from kicking him in the face when my legs spasmed.

I didn’t survive their attack very long and when I gasped out that I was about to cum, Mercedes took my face in her hands and kissed me. I wanted to cry out when I came, but she kept her mouth firmly over mine and made me hold it in. Being forced to hold back any noise seemed to make it more intense. Maybe next time Jon and I are alone I should tell him to put his hand over my mouth when I orgasm…

He didn’t last much longer after that. A few more snaps of his hips and he bit into my ankle as he unloaded into the condom.

“Fuck…my dick might need to go into hibernation after you two,” he grinned.

“You are so fucking cheesy,” I laughed once Mercedes let me breathe again.

Once we had calmed down and were all cleaned up, Jon lied down in the middle of her bed and put his hands behind his head. Mercedes lied down next to him and curled up against his chest. I looked at him, shaking my head. He just looked so cocky and proud of himself.

“Living the dream, huh buddy?” I asked.

“Once you’re on the other side of me, I will be.” He wagged his eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I climbed onto the bed and nestled my head into his chest. I began to feel very sleepy listening to the rise and fall of his breaths. He began to stroke our hair and the last thing I felt before I fell asleep was Jon lightly kissing my head.


	20. Surprises

I woke up the next morning and rolled over, expecting to cuddle up to Jon. What I got was an empty bed. Not even the lovely Mercedes was there for me to curl up against. In my sleepy stupor, I started to wonder if everything had been a dream. Was I waking up in my own bed back home? I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room. Nope. Definitely not my shitty apartment.

I turned my head to look at the clock on the wall. 9:36 am. That's not late by my standards and we had been up pretty late last night. Jon had probably woken up early to go work out and Mercedes looked like the kind of woman who did the same thing. I looked at my bare stomach and grumbled. One of these days, I'd find a way to get that motivated, too.

I sighed and sat up, not bothering to pull a sheet up over my body. A sudden rush of loneliness came over me. It's not the best feeling to wake up alone, especially after being so intimate with someone hours earlier.

I sat there for a few minutes, feeling hurt and cold, despite the fact that it was already pushing 80 in Tampa this morning. Mercedes jolted me out of my funk when she walked into the room and smiled.

"Oh, you startled me!" she laughed. "I thought you were still sleeping."

"I was until a moment ago. How long have you been up? Also, where's Jon? Is he in the kitchen?"

"No, he had to catch a flight, so he was up at five. Do you want some coffee? Tea? I can fix you some breakfast before you leave."

"That's...weird. He should have time off until Thursday or Friday night. Why'd he have to take such an early flight?" I stared at the wall in front of me before lightly smacking my cheek and looking back at her. "Uh, coffee please. That would be great right now. Breakfast sounds wonderful, too."

She turned to leave the room, but stopped in the doorway. Looking over her shoulder, she added, "You can get dressed if you want, but there's no pressure at all. This is a pro-nudity space, so it's up to you, cutie." She winked at me and left the door open as she went to pour me a cup. It's hard to not blush at a comment like that.

I did choose to get dressed, though, since I did have a flight early that afternoon. I didn't have to work that night, but I wanted to make sure I was back and able to get a good night sleep for my return to normal life. I followed the smell of Colombian beans from the bedroom into the kitchen where she handed me a mug and giggled at the noise I made after I took the first sip. She gestured for me to sit down at her kitchen table while she started to cook up a small egg scramble for me.

"So how are you doing this morning?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You seemed a bit hesitant about everything last night. First threesome jitters, maybe?"

"Maybe. You two didn't seem nervous at all."

"That's because I've had many threesomes before and of course he has. I mean look at him," she laughed. She saw my face drop. "I assume, that is. I never had one with him before and he never mentioned them to me. He's just so adventurous that...you know..."

"Nah, it's fine. He probably has. I don't know why I should feel jealous about it."

"It's probably because you love him." She scraped the eggs onto a plate and handed them to me. I studied her face and there was no sign of a smile or laughter. I was waiting for her to break and tell me she was joking.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Lana. I know you just met me last night, but this is a safe space. I saw the way you look at him. Those were smitten eyes, girl. Trust me, I should know. I used to look at him the same way when he lived around here."

I nearly choked on my food as she sat down across from me. She handed me a glass of orange juice and I calmed myself down.

"He told me that you two never dated. You just fucked around a lot," I said once I had caught my breath.

"Yeah, that's true. It's not for lack of trying though. My whole strategy was to give him pussy so good and so wild that he wouldn't want to get it anywhere else. It turns out that that's not the best way to get someone to feel actual emotion for you." She laughed at her comment, but her eyes stayed serious.

"He also said that if you two had dated, you wouldn't be friends right now."

"Yeah, that's probably true. I tend to not stay friends with my exes and I can be a lot of handle in a relationship. I can be pretty hot-headed at times, to say the least. For as laid back a guy as he is, he can get pretty intense in arguments, too. We were around each other so much back then that we would fight sometimes. It was like we were in a relationship, but it was very much one-sided, emotionally. I felt for him, but it never quite seemed like he felt the same way about me."

Mercedes' words resonated inside my head. They sounded kind of familiar, but Jon and I were different...right? He was actually in a relationship with me. He was my boyfriend and I, his girlfriend. Sure it was an open relationship, but that seemed to be working well enough for us, especially now that I had Dave to fill in for him between visits. It was casual and fun and relatively drama-free. We really liked each other a lot, but I still wouldn't call it love. I don't think I'd be capable of love again after Scott left me. Love requires trust and I'm not sure I could trust a man with my heart like that. But did that mean that I didn't trust Jon? I'd told him I trusted him. Was I lying to him and myself? Do I trust Dave? Do I trust myself? Do I love myself?

I quickly shook my head and rubbed my hands over my face. It was still too early for me to self-destruct today. I could think about all these things on the flight home.

"I think I may need another cup of coffee, if you don't mind. I seem to still be a bit sleepy."

She nodded and poured me another. I thanked her again when I took it in my hands.

"But yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is, just be careful. It took me a while to let go of those feelings and just see him as my fuck buddy. Falling in love with him will just hurt you because it'll always be unrequited. He never told me what happened when he was younger, but something definitely closed him up to ever being vulnerable enough to love someone else."

"It's a good thing I'm not in love with him, then."

I stared into my cup, strangely afraid to look at Mercedes after the words left my mouth. I could feel her watching me, judging my reaction. I held my position as best as I could. After a moment, she cleared her throat.

"I see..." She took my empty plate and brought it to the sink. "Just keep it light, okay? He's the kind of guy you keep as a good friend and better lay. Don't be like me and try to get him into a relationship. It won't work so well!" She laughed to herself and clapped me on the shoulder as she left the kitchen.

I checked my phone for the time and saw that I should head out soon to deal with all the airport bullshit. I dealt with reorganizing my bag and went to go say goodbye to Mercedes and thank her for everything. She smiled sweetly, told me  _anytime, gorgeous_  and kissed me on the lips, leaving me speechless. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but it took me by surprise.

Still, as I walked down to the street and hailed a cab, the only thing that my mind could focus on was the fact that Jon had apparently never told Mercedes that we were dating.

Normally on the rare occasion that I fly, I sleep through it, but this time, I couldn't. All I could think about was getting off that plane, grabbing my bag and calling Jon the moment I stepped outside. I couldn't bear wondering about things a moment longer. Unluckily for him, I had all that time on the plane to seethe and stew in my frustration.

I squinted my eyes at the bright afternoon sun once I stepped outside and quickly decided that I'd rather argue in my car than in public. I hurried to the long-term parking and pulled my phone out as soon as I closed the door. My hands were almost trembling as I pulled up his contact.  _Asshole_. The way I was feeling at the moment, that title was more than fitting.

"Hey bitch, how was-?"

"Why did you leave this morning without saying goodbye to me and why doesn't Mercedes know we're dating?!" My words burst out loud and frantic, to the point where even I couldn't make out exactly what I was saying.

"Fuck, slow down there, Lana! What's the matter? Why are you so upset?"

I took a few deep breaths, knowing that the only way to have this conversation was to try to be as calm as possible. I cleared my throat and started again.

"Okay, first off, I hope you had a safe flight this morning," I said, trying to hold back any sound of sarcasm.

"I did, thanks. Sorry I didn't tell you that I was leaving so early."

"Yeah, that was kinda inconsiderate of you, asshole. I felt really upset and lonely when I woke up in an empty bed and found out that you had left without saying goodbye to me."

I could hear him sigh into the receiver. "We'd only been sleeping for like two hours, so I figured you'd be really pissed if I had woken you up. You looked so peaceful and when I was getting dressed, you and Mercedes cuddled up to each other. I couldn't ruin something like that. It was too fucking cute. I did take a picture on my phone, though." He laughed lecherously into the phone.

"So you didn't say goodbye to her either?" That fact made me feel a little better, I guess.

"Nah, I had just told her a few days ago that I wouldn't be able to stay the whole day like I have in the past because I had to get back home and deal with real-life bullshit. Bills and stuff. I only have a few times a month where I can deal with that and today was the last one before shit was due."

"Okay. You still should have told me, too." I sighed and swallowed hard. One gripe down, one big concern to go. "So Mercedes and I talked this morning over breakfast."

"She's a really cool chick, huh?"

"I do like her. She's nice and makes really good coffee. Anyway, we got to talking about...relationships and stuff...and I got the implication that you never told her we were a thing. Is that true?"

"Yeah, it is."

I was stunned at how quickly he responded. I had expected him to pause and draw out the answer, trying to put as positive a spin on it as he could.

"Why? I'd be lying if it said that it didn't hurt. I mean I know we're supposed to be fun and casual, but I don't really want to be considered just another one of your regulars..."

"I don't consider you one of my regulars, Lana. Mercedes...ahh, she's a kinda tricky situation. When I was living in Tampa, we never dated, but that wasn't for lack of her trying. I told her I didn't date. That I didn't do relationships. The same thing I told you in the beginning. She tells me that she's over me, and I think that she is for the most part, but I was afraid that telling her I was dating someone might hurt her and she's too good of a friend to do that to."

"...And maybe she would have turned down your suggestion of having a threesome with you and your girlfriend?"

"Yeeaahh, maybe that was a little part of it," he laughed.

"You're an asshole," I said flatly, although a small smile was on my face. "Thanks. I, uh...feel a bit better now."

We briefly talked for a bit after that about where he'd be working over the next week before we said our goodbyes. I hung up the phone, still with a nagging feeling under my skin.

I thought back to all my concerns during the threesome itself. The way that Jon and Mercedes responded to each other and how it felt like they forgot that I was there once. I still couldn't tell if it had been by accident or if they were trying to make me jealous. If that were the case, would it have been Mercedes wanting me to be jealous? She seemed so easy-going around me that morning and she didn't give me any strange vibes during that talk, so it didn't sound right. Plus she didn't know he and I were dating, so what reason would she have? Did Jon want me to be jealous? Did he get off on two women fighting over him? Was it almost payback for the fact that I had been sleeping with Dave? He'd never given me a reason to think that before and he'd pushed me so hard to have sex with other people, so that didn't sound right either.

My head started to hurt and I massaged my temples with the heel of my hands. I was starting to feel paranoid and was over-thinking everything, as usual. Maybe I really was jealous.

* * *

I'd decided to pick up some extra shifts to try to distract me from my worries regarding everything from the threesome. If I had a lot of free time, all I'd do is dwell on my insecurities and creeping jealousies, but if I was working, I'd lose myself in the art of mixing and socializing with the bar patrons.

My extra shifts went on a little longer than I had originally intended. I had hoped to pick up one or two, but I ended up working twelve shifts over two weeks and by the time I had two days off in a row, I was fucking exhausted.

I came home Wednesday night after closing the bar alone and noticed that there was a note taped to my door.

_I knew you were working really hard these last two weeks, so I snuck over before you clocked out and drew you a bath. Enjoy, L, you deserve it._

_-Dave_

I plucked the note off of the door and held it to my chest. Dave was really the best friend I could ever ask for.

I opened the door and noticed that Dave hadn't locked up before he left. It was important that he had my spare key – he was my emergency contact – but sometimes he was a little absentminded with small things. This honestly wasn't the first time he'd forgotten to lock a door behind him. Then again, the last time he did that was clearly on purpose and in hindsight, had made my life a lot more interesting.

As soon as I walked into the main room, I could smell something wafting from the bathroom. Lavender. That Dave, he must've put some of that lavender oil I told him about into the tub. I loved him for that. I set my bag down on the couch and dragged myself into the bathroom. There were candles set up and a glass of Moscato was sitting on the edge of the tub. Dammit, Dave. You thought of everything.

I closed the door and got undressed as quickly as possible. I could feel the heat from the steam swirling around in the small space. I clipped my hair up and carefully stepped inside the tub, sinking myself down into the hot water. The combination of the lavender smell and the heat made my body relax almost instantly. I took a sip of the wine and leaned back against the tub. I could stay in here all night.

When my glass was empty and the water began to feel cooler, I decided that I probably shouldn't stay in here all night. I climbed out and flicked on the light before blowing out the candles. I toweled myself off and that's when I finally noticed the silk robe hanging on the door. Jesus, he even bought me a robe? I took it off the hook and noticed that there was another note on it.

_Don't worry, L. It wasn't expensive. I just thought it might be nice for you to have something to throw on quickly, since you tend to be naked most of the time you're home._

Jerk.

I put on the robe and tied it loosely around my waist. The fabric felt smooth against my skin and for the first time in two weeks, I felt beautiful and confident. It's amazing what a nice hot bath can do for your soul.

I opened the door and found myself staring at Dave and Jon standing in my living room... dressed in suits. I stood there, frozen, gawking at what I assumed must be a hallucination. Clearly I had worked too much these past weeks and now I was delirious.

They both had their heads down and I assume they didn't realize I was there. Dave kept trying to put his hands in pockets that didn't exist and Jon was adjusting his tie. I noticed a smirk appear on Jon's face and his eyes slowly rolled up until he was looking at me through his lashes. Any anger I felt toward him melted away with that one damn look. Fuck. He knew how to play me like a damn drum.

"Looks like someone's done with her bath, Dave," he said in a low, velvety voice.

Dave finally gave up on his search for pockets and lifted his head to look at me. "I think you're right, Jon. All clean and smelling like flowers. Wearing nothing but a thin robe. What do you think we should do about that?"

"I don't know, Dave. Let's ask her." Jon slowly paced towards me and stopped inches away from me. He leaned in just a little bit and softly said, "What do you think we should do about that, Lana?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I mouthed _how...why are you here?_  and he smiled.

"I knew you were still upset with me about Mercedes and Dave texted me saying you were working yourself like crazy, so we decided to surprise you with that threesome you so badly wanted." He dipped his head lower until I could feel his breath on my ear. "We're here to make sure you can't walk by morning," he whispered.

I didn't mean to, but I started giggling.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Jon asked, standing upright.

"It's just...that was a cheesy line." I covered my mouth with my hand in an attempt to hide my laughter.

Jon's face screwed up in a grimace and he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. "Just get your cute ass over here, will ya?"

I felt my cheeks blush as he guided me over to where Dave was standing.

"You're not too tired for this, right El? We want to make sure you really enjoy this," Dave asked.

I nodded and placed my hand on his cheek, rubbing it along his jawline. "I am wide awake right now, Dave. This is the best way I could've even imagined to end this week." I put my hands on my hips and sighed. "So how do we start this thing?"

I saw Dave and Jon give each other a look before they both placed a hand on my shoulder and slid the silky fabric away from my neck. They both leaned in and kissed my neck while one hand pulled on the sash that closed the robe and another slipped between the fold and gently cupped a breast. I closed my eyes and took in the sensations of two warm mouths...of four large hands. I tilted my head back to give them more skin to cover.

Dave left soft open-mouthed kisses that moved down my collarbone, occasionally sucking gently, but never enough to leave a mark. Jon made sure to mark his territory, leaving small sharp nips on my skin as he worked his way up to my ear. I felt a different hand grab my other breast and they both began to lazily rub my nipples with their thumbs. Jon sucked my earlobe into his mouth and circled his tongue around it, biting it gently and dragging his teeth as he pulled his mouth off.

I had begun to make some soft moans in between my increasingly heavy breaths. They were barely audible, but they were there. Both of the boys moved their mouths away from me and I opened my eyes to see what they were doing. They had their ears as close to my mouth as possible and their free hands were caressing down my back to my thighs, where they slipped their fingers under the hem of the robe and slid them back up to my bare ass. Their large hands began to rub and knead my ass with the occasional finger getting awfully close to my now throbbing pussy.

"Ahhh...Dave...Jon..." I moaned, loud enough to hear clearly.

They both smacked me on the ass and stepped back. I looked at them, confused.

"We were waiting for the first real moan," Dave laughed. "We kinda figured you might hold back a little bit. Nerves and all, I guess."

"So what do you want now, Lana? We want to hear it from you," Jon purred.

I bit my lip and thought for a moment, switching my gaze between both men. A slow grin crept across my face as I decided what I really wanted at that very moment. I shrugged off my robe and let it fall to the floor. It wasn't like it was really covering anything and they'd both seen me naked anyway. I lowered myself down onto me knees and looked up at them.

"Take your cocks out," I smirked.

They both looked down at me and their faces alone made me wet. Jon looked cocky and had a little bit of his tongue poking out between his teeth, and Dave had this stern sort of Dom face that I had never seen from him before. It really caught me off-guard.

They focused on opening their pants enough to pull out their cocks and hold them for me. I licked my bottom lip and kept my eyes focused on their faces while I reached my mouth up and ran my tongue over the bottom of Dave's cock, then moving to Jon.

I opened my lips and sucked in his cock until I reached his hand. He had a full fist grip on himself, so it wasn't too overwhelming. I rocked my head back and forth, rubbing my tongue along any part of him it could reach. I could taste a bit of his precum and I moaned in response.

"Does he taste good, El?" Dave asked, stroking my hair. I made an  _mmhmm_  noise.

I felt Dave's cock poking me in the cheek like he wanted some attention. I pulled off of Jon and opened up my mouth for Dave to slip inside. I reached my hands up and nudged away their fists so that I could hold onto them myself. I lazily stroked Jon's cock, feeling it get a little harder. I took Dave out of my mouth and stroked both of them, looking back up and sticking my tongue out at them.

"Fucking Christ..." Jon said under his breath.

"I can't say I ever thought I'd see you like this," Dave laughed. "But goddamn, I'm glad that I have."

I tugged gently on them, trying to guide them to take a step forward. I ran the flat of my tongue over the heads of both of their cocks a few times before turning and glancing at the couch.

"I want you both to go sit down."

They nodded and moved over to the couch without saying a word. When they were sitting next to each other, almost in unison, they patted their thighs like they were beckoning me over. I pursed my lips in a smile. Cocky assholes, acting like I'm their pet. I put my hands down and quickly crawled across the floor, resting my chin on their knees when I reached them.

I looked back and forth between them and realized something didn't feel right. They were completely clothed and I was completely naked. I had to rectify some of that.

I crawled up onto Jon's lap and he grinned like I was going to lower my pussy down onto his cock. Instead, I grabbed his tie and pulled him toward me into a kiss. While his tongue flicked against mine, I started to unbutton his shirt. I stopped right before I reached his pants and slid my hands under the fabric, spreading the shirt open. I rubbed my hands against his firm body and broke away from the kiss.

"I hope you could taste Dave's cock on my tongue," I said, raising my eyebrow.

He tilted forward and licked the edge of my ear before whispering, "You'd like that, wouldn't you? You dirty fucking slut." He leaned back against the couch, licking his lower lip and smiling when he saw me let out a shuddered sigh.

I smacked him lightly on the cheek as I climbed over onto Dave and did the same thing, kissing him and opening his shirt. Once I had both of their shirts open and disheveled, I climbed back down to the floor. I looked up from between Dave's legs and admired my two boys. Yes, this was a much better visual.

I leaned in a took Dave's cock back into my mouth. Bobbing my head up and down, feeling the tip touch the back of my throat, I groaned around him, digging my fingers into his thighs. I could hear his breathing getting heavy and his own soft moans while he began to stroke my hair once more. It was such a comforting feeling when he did that.

I glanced over at Jon and saw that he was slowly pumping his fist along his own dick as he watched me. I felt myself get even wetter knowing that he was getting off watching me give a blowjob to another man.

I slowly pulled my mouth off of Dave and a string of drool stayed connected between his cock and my lips. I looked up at Jon and stuck my tongue into the corner of my mouth to break it. He groaned and I shifted my eyes to his hand moving a little faster. I crawled over between his legs and swatted his hand away.

"This is mine. Stop touching my things, Jon," I said firmly. I cupped his balls with one hand and squeezed lightly.

I placed my hands on his firm thighs and rubbed them against his pants. I could feel his muscles contract briefly when I lowered my head and ran my tongue from the bottom of his cock all the way to the tip. I licked the head a few times, trying to get it nice and wet, before I wrapped my lips around it and gradually took more of him into my mouth. Apparently I wasn't going fast enough for him because he placed his hand on the back of my head and pushed down, making me gag. Jon relaxed the pressure on my head and I slowly began to pull my mouth off of him until it was where I was normally comfortable. He gathered some of my hair into his fist, pulling it gently, but he let me control the blowjob itself.

A few moments later, I noticed Dave move off of the couch. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion until I felt his hands on my ass. My eyes widened when I felt his tongue begin to lap at my pussy. He teased me, only letting his tongue touch my clit every few licks. I pushed out my hips, trying to give him better access, of which he took advantage. I felt his face press into my pussy as he messily ate me out. He focused on my clit, licking and sucking at it. I began to moan around Jon's cock and sucked harder the closer I got to orgasm.

It finally got to the point where I couldn't focus on both, so I pulled my mouth off and buried my face in Jon's thigh. My hand was still gripped around his cock, but it barely moved. I groaned into his pants, feeling my body on the cusp of orgasm. I felt Jon's hands grab my head and pull it up. He cradled my chin in his fingers and angled it up. My eyes closed as I focused on Dave's mouth against my pussy.

"Look at me," Jon demanded. I begrudgingly opened them and stared back. "I want to see your face when you cum."

Looking into his eyes, I felt my orgasm finally rush through my body. I so badly wanted to shut my eyes out of pure habit, but I focused on him watching my face as my eyes widened, my mouth opened, and a cry came out. I wanted to smack him on the chest as his stern face turn into a grin.

"You're a jerk," I panted as Dave pulled his mouth away. He rubbed my ass a few times and moved back over to the couch.

"How am I a jerk? I've told you before how good you look and sound when you cum."

"And I'm supposed to be flattered by that?"

He shrugged and Dave chimed in. "Some people have really dumb O-faces, El, but yours is actually really nice."

I was glad that my face was still flushed from arousal so they wouldn't notice that I was blushing at their comment. I knew that such a superficial compliment shouldn't matter, but fuck it, it made me feel good.

"Let's just go to my room so I can get fucked," I said as I started to stand up.

"We can do that out here," Dave suggested.

"I know, but I like it on a bed the best."

"Alright then, you heard her, let's go," Jon added as he stood up and threw me over his shoulder.

Once we were in the room, he smacked my ass and tossed me down into my mattress. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he loosened his tie. His eyes were lustful and I could sense that animalistic energy radiating from him. He moved his hands to his pants and pulled them down past his ass before I stopped him.

"No, keep them on. I want you clothed. Just like that, right under your ass." I moved over to the edge of the bed and grabbed at the top of his pants, pulling him toward me so that he stumbled forward and fell on top of me. "That's better," I purred, releasing his pants to cup his ass instead.

"So you think you call the shots around here, huh?" he smiled, leaning down to suck on one of my nipples.

"You guys did ask me what I wanted, did you not?"

"We did," Dave asked as he leaned over from behind me and kissed my neck. "So what do you want, El?"

"I want to be spit-roasted. That idea has always been a huge fantasy for me. I've just never told any-"

Before I could finish my confession, both Jon and Dave were grabbing me and positioning me so that my head was hanging off the bed. I let out a playful shriek and inside I was screaming that this was actually happening.

Dave held his cock out and rubbed it softly against my lips. I looked up at him and smiled. I never would imagined being in a position like this with him, not in a thousand years. I heard Jon open a condom and after a moment, felt his body between my legs. He rubbed the head of his cock between my lips a few times and pushed inside of me. When I opened my mouth to moan at the feeling of Jon's dick stretching me, Dave slid his dick inside. I gripped at my bedsheets, feeling overwhelmed by the dual sensations.

Both of them thrust slow and careful, focusing on the depth of their strokes rather than the speed. Jon scratched his fingernails up and down my legs which I had wrapped around his waist. The feeling on my skin made my lower body twitch and spasm against him. Dave was rubbing his hands along my neck and chest, occasionally pausing to grab my neck gently and see how far he could get his dick down my throat.

"You're such a good little cocksucker," Jon growled while he watched me swallow Dave whole. My lips pressed against the base of his dick and my nose was buried in his balls.

"Jesus Christ..." Dave whispered.

I opened my mouth and tried to moan loudly when Jon started to thrust harder and faster, but the cock down my throat kinda choked it out. Dave began to speed up his thrusts as well, shallowly at first, but gradually he lengthened his strokes until he was really fucking my mouth.

Jon placed one hand between us and rubbed my clit, but he reached his other hand up and stroked my cheek, tracing a finger down my face and along my mouth, just barely touching the seam between my lips and Dave's shaft. This small gesture sent me over the edge and I grabbed both of their wrists and squeezed as my toes curled and my hips pushed up. I looked up at Dave as I came and he pulled out so that he could lean down and kiss me. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I could still taste my pussy on him.

Jon sat back up and pulled out. He lifted my legs and kissed one of my ankles.

"Do you need a break? It felt like that was a big one," he chuckled.

"No...no break," I gasped when Dave finally broke the kiss."I think I want some one-on-one time now." I lifted myself up and looked at Dave. "I want you first, buddy."

Jon peeled off his condom and tossed it to the floor. "If I'm gonna be watching for a while, I'm gonna jerk while I do."

He spread his legs and pulled up his knees. He wrapped his large hand around his dick and slowly slid it up and down, casually rubbing his thumb across the head when he reached the tip. I watched him, mesmerized, until I heard him clear his throat.

"Alright bitch, give me a show then," he smirked.

I crooked my finger at Dave and he climbed onto the bed with me. He sat on his knees and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into another kiss and smoothing his hands down my back. I could feel his cock pressing against my pussy, so I spread my thighs a bit and moved my hips forward to tease him. I was startled when he grabbed my hips and lifted me enough for him to sit me down on his cock. He leaned back so he could get a good angle and held me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rotated my hips, feeling him deep inside of my pussy.

He repositioned his hands under my ass and slowly started to move me up and down his cock while he thrust. He wasn't able to pull out all the way before sliding back in, but the thrusts were deep and hitting my g-spot each time. It was like he was continuously grinding on that spot and it was driving me crazy.

He brought his head down to my neck and began to lightly suck on my collarbone. My breath became heavier and I started to whimper. Despite the intense sensation between my legs, I was relatively quiet. I didn't feel the need to be. The whole experience felt more personal, more intimate.

He lowered his lips to my breasts and sucked a hard nipple into his mouth. When he lightly bit on it, I felt my orgasm spill through my body. I clung to his neck, smothering his face in my chest, afraid that if I didn't hold on for dear life, I'd fall back and stop this wonderful feeling.

When my body was done shaking, Dave gently placed me on my back without withdrawing and began to thrust more quickly as he chased his own orgasm. I craned my neck forward in an attempt to kiss him and he rewarded me with his soft lips. A few strong thrusts later and he was moaning into my mouth.

Dave pulled out of me and sat back up. He bent over and kissed my forehead, making me giggle. I finally noticed Jon out of the corner of my eye. I wouldn't have admitted to it out loud, but I had actually forgotten that he was there for a moment. His hand was still gripping his dick, but he had a furrowed brow and a frown on his face. I cocked my head to the side, silently asking him what was wrong. He looked me in the eyes and stared hard for a moment before speaking.

"Wasn't hard enough. I did not hear nearly enough moaning and begging for my taste. I guess I'll have to fix that, huh?" He reached over to grab another condom, then glanced at me over his shoulder. "Hands and knees."

There was a hint of bass in his voice that screamed  _do as I say_  and as much as I'd been fighting for control tonight, I gave in to my submissive tendencies. I rolled over onto my stomach and pushed up onto my hands and knees.

Jon came up behind me and didn't even bother with his usual dirty talk. He grabbed my hips roughly and thrust in hard. I didn't need to go slow at this point, that was for certain, but I was starting to feel a bit sore. He grabbed my hair close to the scalp and arched my head back and to the side so that I could see him. I moaned at the feeling of my hair being tugged and I could see that cocky smile on his face, knowing what he was doing to me.

He fucked me for a few minutes, but he came much sooner than I think he expected to. The tone he used when he let out a string of curses sounded a bit more irritated than you'd expect from someone who's orgasming. I was actually relieved that he didn't last very long. Pain was starting to take over pleasure and I didn't think I would've been able to orgasm again anyway.

He got up and headed straight for the bathroom. I went after him on shaky legs and wrapped my arms around his waist once I was behind him. I rested my head on his shoulder and kissed it.

"Thank you for this. I didn't expect it at all and I really needed it."

I felt his body relax against me. He placed his hands on mine and turned his head to the side. "No problem." His choice of words made me worried that he was still upset, but he then brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers. "Why don't you take a quick shower?" He turned around so that he was facing me. "I bet you're feeling pretty sore after all of that," he said through a smirk. I simply smiled and nodded.

* * *

I stepped out of the shower and put the silky robe back on. I yawned, wandering out of the bathroom, and could hear Jon and Dave talking in the kitchen. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know what they were doing there. I'd seen Dave cook a few times and it never turned out well. The mere concept of Jon cooking sent a shiver down my spine.

I crossed the living room and went up to the larger window that led to the fire escape. I opened it up, partly because I wanted to cool the room down and partly in case the boys started to burn stuff. I leaned on the windowsill and watched the sky become lighter and more full of color around the surrounding buildings. It had been a very long time since I had been able to watch the sunrise. The cool morning air felt good. I was filled with such a sense of peace and relaxation. It was fucking wonderful.

I suddenly caught a whiff of coffee and I turned to find Jon holding two mugs, one for me and one for himself.

"Roman showed me a trick for making really strong coffee, so I kinda wanted to show off."

I took the cup from him and noticed the boyish grin on his face. I smiled back and felt a twinge of something familiar run through my body. I took a sip and swallowed, enjoying the taste and warm feeling that spread through my core. He bit his lip and his eyes looked a little nervous almost puppy-like, waiting for my reaction. I noticed that the warm feeling hadn't gone away.

"I..."

He nodded his head quickly in anticipation.

"...it's delicious, Jon."

"Fuck yeah!" he cheered and kissed my cheek.

"So it gets the El Stamp of Approval, huh?" Dave said as he came into the room with his own mug.

I nodded silently, smiling my myself. Dave came around to the other side of me and placed his free hand on my shoulder. Jon took a sip of his coffee and rubbed his hand on the small of my back. I held my own mug in both hands, took a sip, and sighed. As the three of us stood there watching the sunrise, it felt like a perfect moment. My head was clear and my heart was full.

 


	21. Love?

I woke up in bed a few hours later, and when I tried to roll over, I realized that I couldn't because I had a strong arm wrapped tightly around my waist. It took me a moment to remember what day and time it was, since the sun was high in the sky. I wasn't used to seeing that when I wake up. I placed my hand over the one that was on my stomach and rubbed the back of it with my fingertips.

"Good afternoon, slut." I was slightly startled by his sleep-laden voice rumbling in my ear. I turned my head to be greeted by a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm no more of a slut than you, asshole."

"I never said I wasn't one. So did you have fun last night?" He bit my shoulder gently, sending a shiver through my arm.

"That is a stupid question, sir. Of course I had a good time. You don't know how badly I needed that release after the week I had."

"Yeah, a nice deep dicking is one of the best cures for stress."

I realized that he had loosened his arm around my waist, so I rolled over onto my back. "You could be on to something. Have you thought about doing a scientific study of that?"

"I suppose you could say I've been doing a study of that since the day my dick first blessed all of womankind." I grabbed my pillow from underneath my head and smacked him in the face with it.

"So I did good then?" he asked once he had fought the pillow away from me.

"Absolutely. Thank you for helping my sexy fantasy come true. Oh, and the suits? Good lord."

"I was hoping you'd like that," he grinned.

"Like? I loved it. I could almost feel my heartbeat between my legs." I brushed some of his hair away from his forehead. "How about you? Are you doing okay after last night?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? What, do you think that seeing another guy's cock freaked me out or something? I shower with other dudes all the time."

"As hot as that sounds, I'm being serious. You seemed a bit off near the end, but maybe it was just me."

"Nah, I'm fine. I just like seeing you happy."

He laced his fingers through my own and brought my hand up to his mouth. His lips felt soft and warm against my skin, and the sweet intimacy of the gesture made me blush. He stared into my eyes for a moment, the smile on his face making him look quite boyish. He suddenly released my hand and pushed himself up and over me so that I found myself in a position I had been in many times before. However this time, the look on his face didn't suggest that he wanted sex.

"Lana, I..." He paused for a beat. He looked quite serious and I noticed that his jaw muscles clenched. "...I think you should go make us some pancakes."

"Oh I see. Butter me up so that I go make food for you." I playfully pushed his chest and he started to laugh. "Why can't you make them?"

"They're so much tastier when you make them. Pleeeeaase?" He flashed me a big, cheesy grin so I couldn't help but cave.

He stayed in bed the whole time while I made the pancakes. I thought it a bit weird that he didn't end up coming out with me. I kinda expected him to linger around me so that he could steal pieces of bacon when I wasn't looking. When I returned to him with the food, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, slightly hunched over.

"My special cinna-licious pancakes, with a whipped cream smiley face and bacon ears for good measure!"

I tried to sound chipper and pretended to ignore the fact that something was clearly bothering him. In all honesty, I would've asked, but as soon as he heard me, his back straightened and he turned around, a soft smile on his face.

We ate breakfast...well I guess it was technically lunch, given the time...in bed and shared sparse conversation while casually watching a movie on TV. The rest of the afternoon went along in a similar fashion. We stayed in bed together all day, but not in the manner that we normally did. He was very touchy-feely, yet he felt very distant. I tried to initiate sex twice, but both times he brushed me off. I can't say that it didn't bother me. It did. It felt like I was being rejected. Still, I understood. He can't be on all the time.

I tried asking him if he was feeling alright a few times, but he told me that he was fine and to drop it. I felt like I was making him more upset each time I asked, so after the third time, I decided that it was best to let him tell me what was bothering him when he was ready. Assuming he'd tell me at all.

Our goodbye was just as uncomfortable, but in a different way. He stared at me without saying anything for at least thirty seconds. Like a dummy, I just stood there silently, feeling awkward. He put his hands on my cheeks and I closed my eyes, thinking he was going to go in for a kiss. Instead, he patted my face saying, "Okay, gotta run, sweetcheeks."

I don't know what the hell happened between waking up and him leaving, but something was on his mind that he wasn't telling me and it made me worried.

* * *

"Lana? Lana, are you awake there, sweetheart?"

"What? Oh, sorry Larry. Do you need another refill?"

"No, you just gave me one two minutes ago."

"I did? Oh..." My brow furrowed as I realized that, although it was near closing time, I couldn't remember anything that had happened all night.

"Are you okay? You haven't quite seemed yourself these past few days. You've felt distant, like something's on your mind." Larry took a sip of his beer and placed the glass back down, wiping the foam from his mouth.

"Ahh...I don't know. I've felt a bit off lately, I think. Like since I took that trip to Tampa."

"I thought you said you enjoyed that?"

"I did...it just also brought up some things."

"You gotta be more specific here."

"I kinda felt jealous when I watched Jon with another woman.

"That's not uncommon. It can be hard to see your partner with someone else. It's not for everyone."

"I know that, but I never felt jealous when he'd tell me about being with other women. Is seeing really that different? And I can't be certain, but I get the feeling that he was getting kind of jealous of David on Thursday. He acted a bit strange the morning after we...um..." Larry raised his eyebrows at me. I had forgotten that neither Dave nor I hadn't mentioned our extracurricular activity in passing conversation. "We, uh...may or may not have had a threesome together."

Larry laughed at me and stroked his beard. "Lana, there's no need to pretend to be bashful. Whatever you kids did, I can assure you that I did far worse in the 60s."

"What's frustrating me is why should I be feeling jealous in a casual relationship? I feel petty and pathetic. I hate it."

"Maybe your relationship is not as casual as you think. Maybe you're in love, girlie girl."

I audibly groaned and rolled my eyes. "I'm not in love with anyone. Love is a dying concept that is being kept on life-support by candy and greeting card companies, shitty romance novels, and the chunk of Hollywood that thrives on lonely, gullible women who cling to the notion that some man will suddenly appear in their lives and make it interesting."

"Isn't that what happened to you?" he replied before taking another sip.

I glared at him through the bottom of his glass. I could feel my pulse quickening.

"Fine. Answer me this, though," he quipped once he saw the frustration in my eyes. "If you could be anywhere else right now, where would that be?"

"Lying next to Jon, cuddled up in his arms while staring at his stupid face."

"Mmhmm..." Larry gave me a look and crossed his arms. "Now does that sound like the kind of thing you'd say about a 'just a friend'?"

"Dammit," I groaned.

"Okay look, forget the word love. Think of it this way. Does he make you happy? Are you at your happiest when you're with him? It doesn't have to be all hearts and chocolates and roses. The sort of love that you scoff at, the kind you see in romantic comedies, that's just one interpretation of what love is. You've been in love before-" he put his hand up to stop me when I tried to protest- "don't you dare try to say you haven't been because you were working here while you were still married and I saw how you acted when Scott would stop by sometimes. The look in your eyes was of a young woman completely smitten."

"Yeah well, I'm older, smarter, and more cynical now, Larry."

"Clearly. I get why, sweetheart, divorce is generally not considered a fun activity. I've been through it twice. I decided to give up marriage, but I have never given up on the idea of love. You have to define it as how it makes YOU feel. No one else can tell you how being in love is supposed to feel because it's subjective."

"So I shouldn't be listening to you right now, old man?"

"You shouldn't be investing too much in my particular interpretation of what love is, but what I'm trying to get you to do is reflect inward. I want you to take a couple of days and think about how he makes you feel when you're with him. When you talk on the phone. The feeling you get when he first shows up and the feeling you get when you watch him leave. Really think about that, Lana."

"And what am I supposed to do after that?"

"If you take the time to think about it and you still come to the same conclusion you've thrown at us for months, I'll accept it. But if you decide that he's what makes you happiest in this fucked up world, well sweetheart, you'd better let that man know. It could be a major turning point in your relationship."

He picked up his pint and chugged the rest of it, gasping when he slammed down the empty glass. "That made me thirsty. If you don't mind pouring me a glass of water to suck down first, I'm going to call it a night."

I handed him a glass of water and watched him as he drank it down quickly.

"Do I need to call you a cab?" I asked.

"No, thank you. I'm actually walking tonight. I've been seeing this woman for a few months and she lives a few blocks from here. She's a nurse who works nights, so I've been visiting her after the bar closes. It's been working quite well so far."

"So is that why you've been cutting back on drinks?"

He nodded as he placed a twenty dollar tip on the bar. He smiled and slowly headed toward the door while he threw his jacket over his shoulder.

"So are you in love with her?" I called out.

"I've been thinking about it." He winked at me as he left, the door snapping shut behind him.

* * *

"Hey Dave?"

"Yeah El?"

"I think this should be the last time that we do this. I talked to Larry a few days ago and I've been thinking since then. I've realized that I do in fact love Jon, so...you know...it's probably safer if I become monogamous."

"Yeah sure, El. It's about time you finally came to that conclusion. One thing though?"

"Shoot."

"Did you really think it was a good idea to tell me this while you're riding my cock?"

"Hmm. Yeah, I probably should've thought about the timing."

* * *

I was terrified about the prospect of confessing these feelings. Jon was Mr. I-Don't-Do-Relationships. I wasn't quite sure how he was going to take this. Was he going to be happy because he feels the same way? Was he going to break up with me on the spot because he didn't sign up for this to lead to something serious? Or perhaps worst of all, would he not say anything and let our relationship continue with me loving him and him just going through the motions? I couldn't be sure of the outcome, but I knew I needed to do this. Larry was right. This could be a major turning point in our relationship, for better or for worse.

I wanted to do it as soon as possible, but I had remembered that Jon had texted me the morning after he went back to work that he was going on a two-week tour of Europe. I wasn't about to text him that I loved him and a phone call wouldn't feel right. This was an in-person kind of talk.

So I decided that I was going to surprise him by visiting him on the road. I looked up the WWE road schedule for once they returned to the states and saw that they had a Smackdown taping shortly after that was about five hours from me. It would be a long drive, but it was worth it to me. We'd have the whole night to mess around afterward and if things went well enough, I might be able to convince him to skip the plane home and drive back with me.

I finagled my schedule around so that I didn't have to work that Tuesday. I packed a small bag and brought a trenchcoat that had been given to me by my parents years ago but I never really wore. For this, however, it would be very important. I stopped at Frederick's of Hollywood along the way and bought some bonkers lingerie and wore it directly under the trenchcoat. That way I could give him two surprises.

When I neared the hotel that the roster was staying at, I felt my face start to flush and mouth become dry. I was nervous as hell, but also strangely aroused. I suspect it had something to do with all of the naughty thoughts I'd had running through my head the last fifty miles.

I found a parking garage nearby and prepaid the flat overnight rate so that I wouldn't have to worry about it later. The walk from the garage to the hotel was almost intoxicating. The cool air billowing through the bottom of my coat and the knowledge that I was barely wearing anything underneath gave my freshly shaven legs goosebumps.

I walked into the hotel lobby and only then realized the biggest flaw in my plan. I had no idea which room Jon was in and the receptionist was definitely not going to give that information away to a sketchy looking woman who just walked in. I heard a ruckus going on in the hotel bar and I thought I heard Seth's voice cackling loudly. I decided to take a peek inside to see if Jon was in there as well.

The roster had definitely taken over the small bar, but I couldn't seem to find Jon in the mess of people. I tried to sneak up to Roman, who seemed to be the more sober of the two boys, to ask him where I could find Jon, but Seth saw me first.

"LANA?!" he shouted as he stumbled toward me. He grabbed me in a tight hug and lifted me off the ground. "What the hell are you doing here? Did Asshole fly you out again?"

"No, I drove out here to surprise him. Where is that asshole anyway?"

"He actually went up to his room not too long ago. He bought a round for everyone, threw his back and then called it a night. He has looked pretty tired. He really stepped up his game on the Europe tour, but I think it took a lot out of him."

"You think he wouldn't mind if I stopped by his room to say hi? I have something important to tell him. Also, I want him to see my, uh...new outfit."

"You wearing anything under that coat?" Roman came up behind Seth and put him in a loose headlock.

My face started to flush and I tried to suppress my smile.

"You naughty girl," Roman laughed.

"I'm not naked, but I am wearing some cheeky panties that show off my ass and a black corset that makes my tits look awesome, so I kinda want to get someone to see it tonight, you know?"

"I voluntee-aack!" Seth's drunkenly gleeful comment was cut off by Roman tightening his hold.

"He's in room 602, Lana. Go do your thing, and we'll all be down here for a while, so feel free to be as loud as you want." Roman's perverted smile made me blush ever harder.

I left the hotel bar with a big stupid grin on my face. My stomach started to clench when I stepped into the elevator. This was it. I had closed myself off to the idea of being in love, but somehow this jerk had wormed his way into my heart and the only thing I could do now was tell him and hope for the best.

The walk down the hall to his door was the longest twelve seconds of my life. My heart was pounding and my saliva felt thick in my mouth. I stopped in front of room 602 and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. I waited for a moment before I heard his voice mumbling on the other side.

"Seth, I swear to fucking god, if you're here to ask me to snuggle the answer is no. Touchy-feely drunk bastard."

The door finally opened a few inches and I saw his eyes squint at the bright light, then slowly open as he realized what he was looking at. I also noticed that he was only wearing boxers and they were looking quite, shall I say, perky.

"Lana? What are you doing here? How did you know where I was?"

"It's not hard to find which hotel you guys are staying in and I saw Seth and Roman in the bar downstairs. They told me which room you were in. I thought it would be fun to surprise you and there's something important I need to tell you, too."

"Look, Lana, this is a really bad time..."

"I know, Seth said you were exhausted and I know you need to get some sleep, but," I unbuttoned my trenchcoat and opened it for him to get a quick look, "I thought you might want to get some of this first."

A smile slowly crossed his face and his tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth.

"But before that, I drove five hours here to tell you that I-"

"Dean, I'm so fucking horny that I'm in pain. I need your dick in me now, so either send them away or invite them in already."

My face dropped upon hearing some strange woman's voice coming from his room. I quickly fished my phone out of my coat to check if he'd sent me a text about it and I had been too busy to check. There was nothing.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, holding out my phone to show the lack of text message alert.

"I'd say it's fairly obvious. She's a hot-ass chick who sucks dick like a vacuum and...well you heard the rest."

He might as well have kneed me in the stomach the way my body felt at that moment. I hurt all over.

"Why? If you'd texted me, I would've accepted it, but this wasn't part of our agreement. Why are you acting like this? Wait...have you done this before? How many times have you fucked someone without telling me first?"

"I can't remember specific numbers. So...threesome. You in? I mean, you're already dressed for it." He bit the tip of his thumb and casually looked me over again.

It felt like time froze while I stood there gawking at him, trying to wrap my brain around all of this. "You are unbelievable. To think that I... No...fuck this. I can't do this anymore, Jon." I turned to walk away, but he stepped out of the doorway and grabbed my arm.

"Can't do what? Is this like a break-up or something?"

" _This_ , Jon," I answered, gesturing to the inside of the room. "I can't do this. And it can't be a break-up if it was never a really a relationship. I'm such a fucking idiot..."

I yanked my arm away from him and started to walk away. After a few steps, I stopped and turned back to face him.

"I came here tonight to tell you that I loved you and that I wanted to be exclusive, to make this a serious thing. I told Dave that we needed to go back to a platonic relationship. I don't want to settle for being a person of convenience to you any more. If I can't have all of you...then I can't have any of you." I turned around once again and took off my trenchcoat, folding it under my arm. I knew that it was a risk to walk around in lingerie in public, but I wanted to try to make him take a last look. I'd throw my coat back on in the elevator.

"Lana, wait."

I raised my free arm above my head and flipped him off without looking behind me. Thankfully, the elevator was still on the sixth floor so I didn't have to wait for it and possibly change my mind.

When I reached the ground floor, Seth, Roman, and some of the other wrestlers were standing in the lobby and flirting with some of the staff. Roman noticed me stepping out of the elevator and for a brief moment, we made eye contact. He waved at me and looked like he was about to approach me, but I walked toward the exit with purpose, knowing that if I stopped to talk to him, I'd probably start crying and I would hate myself for it.

Remember how I said that the walk down the hallway was the longest I'd ever experienced? Well forget that. The walk back to my car was the longest walk. Once I was istrapped in, I took a deep breath before starting the ignition. Five hours alone with my thoughts did not sound like something I wanted to do, but I wasn't about to stay here any longer.

I made better time on the trip home because I tend to go at about 90 miles per hour when I drive angry. I used the 90s angry white chick music and metal on my mp3 player to my advantage, you can trust me on that. My blood felt like it was boiling. I was angry at Jon, but I was furious at myself. I let myself fall in love with someone despite my better judgement and it fucked me over yet again. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

The only consolation I had was that I wasn't crying. I was stronger than that. At least that's what I thought, until a fucking Adele song came on my mp3 player. I figured I would be fine. I was not.

I didn't even feel explicitly sad when the tears started. I was still quite pissed off, actually. I just remember feeling a tingling in my nose and my eyes began to water. For a few minutes, I wept in silence, the occasional sniffle breaking up the stretches of quiet.

My mind began to wander back to a few hours ago. The look on his face. The tone of his voice. The image I created in my head of what his random conquest looked like. The sounds he must've made while he fucked her. The different positions he pulled her into. His name rolling off of her lips. The fact that he could do all of this and not care once about how it might make me feel. He must've become bored with me, just like...

Fuck. Now I was sobbing. Fucking Adele. I was handling this fine until she started setting fire to things and now...

The last leg of the drive home was torture. I had to breathe through my mouth since my nose was so stuffed and I had a pounding headache to boot. The actual tears came and went. I gave up on resenting myself for feeling vulnerable and needy and just let it happen.

So when I approached my apartment, I just drove past it. It was around 6:30 am so I knew he wouldn't be thrilled to see me, but I needed this. I pulled up to the curb in front of Dave's apartment complex, slowly made my way to his door and banged on it. I had calmed myself down enough where I could speak. He answered the door and his face showed his surprise to see me standing there. However, unlike the other man in my life, Dave's face quickly softened to a look of concern and sympathy.

"Please...hold me," I pleaded as I burst into tears once again, burying my face in his chest.

 


	22. He's Like Heroin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally longer, but I decided that another 7k word chapter was a bit much. It also looked much better in my head. I hope you all enjoyed the New Year holiday. This chapter is brought to you by Halestorm's "I Miss the Misery".

It took me about three seconds after waking to realize that I had a splitting headache. It took me ten seconds to realize that I wasn't in my own bed. Unless I was still dreaming, this was Dave's bedroom. Yet what made me finally realize what a mess I am was that I only noticed that I was naked when I stood up and felt the cool air on my skin. I looked around the room for my clothes, finding them folded neatly on top of a chair. How tidy. Certainly not something I must've done myself.

The previous night, or perhaps I should say morning, was still a haze to me. I remembered my encounter with Jon, that's for certain. I don't think I'd be able to forget such fuckery. However the drive home and whatever happened after I got to Dave's house was a blank. I pulled my clothes on and left the room in search of Dave or food, whichever I found first.

Dave wasn't hard to find. He was sitting in his living room watching TV.

"I'm surprised you're up," he said once he noticed me.

"What time is it anyway?"

"Two, and before you freak out about work, don't worry. I called in for both of us."

"How did you manage that?" I asked. I massaged my temples and wandered into his bathroom to look for pain killers.

"I may have told them that a mutual friend died and the wake was today," he explained, standing in the doorway.

"What?"

"I know I'm a jerk for lying, but I didn't think they'd really understand if I said you broke up with your boyfriend, weren't taking it well, and I had to take care of you."

"Oh god…" I quickly swallowed down two aspirin and thumped my head against the bathroom mirror.

Sighing, I went back to the living room and flopped onto his couch face-first. Dave went to his kitchen for a moment and brought me back some toast. I moved around so that I was sitting normally and took a bite. As I chewed, I decided I might as well bite the bullet and ask the question I'd been dreading.

"So…uh…what exactly happened earlier? I don't really remember anything."

"That doesn't surprise me." He stretched and then pulled his feet up onto the couch. "You woke me up around six in the morning by banging on my door and then when I opened it, you were crying and saying something incoherent. Then you kinda fell into my chest. I can't say that I've had a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but given where you'd gone last night, I was able to figure out part of the story on my own.

"I brought you here to the couch and tried to calm you down long enough to tell me what happened. You explained how you'd been turned down. I'm sorry about that, by the way. That's the worst way that I've ever heard of anyone being rejected. You started crying again by the end of your story and then you tried having sex with me."

"Did we actually…?"

"No. I knew you were vulnerable and although you said you wanted it, I think you were just trying to use it as a distraction or self-medication and I didn't think you would've been happy about it after. We agreed to stop having sex with each other because you were in love and wanted to be monogamous. I don't think you were suddenly not still in love because of what happened. I've never seen someone fall out of love that quickly, even if the person does something horrible. It's like there's an irrational part of you that wants to cling on to it. So even though I'd love to have sex with you again, I'd only do so if you really wanted to."

I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you. I think you know me better than I know myself sometimes. I had been worried that we had played around last night. So what happened after that? I still can't figure out why my memory is fuzzy and I have this headache."

"Well, after I turned you down, you got pissed at me and stormed into the kitchen. I heard a lot of banging and slamming of cabinet doors, so I went to check on you and you'd pulled out a bottle of vodka and was on the floor chugging it."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

"I don't know if I'd say anything was wrong with you. You just haven't figured out a healthy way to deal with heartbreak."

"Heartbreak? It was more like betrayal. Breaking of trust. Fucking asshole."

"You did call him that a lot this morning, too. Anyway, after you polished off the vodka, you took your clothes off and tried to have sex with me again. That's when I headed into my bedroom and you followed me, hopped onto the bed, and immediately passed out. I covered you with a blanket and you've been sleeping since."

I covered my mouth in horror. "I'm so sorry, Dave. No one should've had to deal with that. I am such a wreck. Let me get my stuff and I'll go home."

"It's fine, El. You can go home if you want, but you can always lay low here with me for the day. I can order a pizza and we can just watch movies."

I smiled and it felt good. "I'd love that. Can the movies be super violent?"

* * *

Six weeks had passed since that night. I think I was handling it fairly well. You know, other than that first morning. I'd asked if I could switch my schedule around so that I no longer worked on Fridays. The whole Smackdown night at the bar had become such thing that I felt bad to try to end it because of my own personal issues. Still, I didn't need to break all the glasses in the bar just because I heard his voice on the TV behind me.

I'd spent my time off alone searching for things to do in the city to keep my mind occupied. I visited all of the museums and went to the movies at least once a week. My comfort zone is to retreat to my couch and marathon TV shows, but that reminded me of him. A lot of things did, but I managed to avoid them as much as possible.

Despite my defensive plan, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't cried over those six weeks. Like clockwork, every Wednesday night I would cry in bed because it felt so cold and lonely without him. I was angry at myself for letting him get to me like that. I'd vowed to myself after Scott to not let someone in that deep and yet I allowed it to happen. I knew he was a charismatic guy with a silver tongue and yet I ate every word he fed me. I hated myself on Wednesday nights.

The nights I worked with Dave, however, were wonderful. People often say that sex between friends will destroy the friendship, but I don't think that has to be true. I didn't sense any weirdness between us when we were together. He was still a magician at making me feel happy and at ease. We would joke all night and it felt like old times between us. I was feeling so comfortable that I was blindsided for what happened that Tuesday night.

I was bringing a tray of drinks to a small bachelor's party who told me that they were about to head out to a strip club after this final round. The Best Man followed me to the bar so that he could pay for the tab ahead of time. While I was cashing him out and thinking that I could start cleaning up early, I heard what sounded like a large party of men emerge from some cabs outside. I turned to look at Dave with an eyebrow raised. He just shrugged at me. I'm still not sure why I psych myself up for early nights when they never actually happen.

The door flew open and my heart sunk as I realized what was going on. Apparently there had been a Smackdown taping that night. I'd normally have known about that sort of thing because of Jon, but since I'd been keeping out of the wrestling loop for a while, I had no idea. I quickly averted my eyes back to the register as they all filed in.

Dave placed his hand on my shoulder and quietly reassured me. "I'll go greet them, just stay here and try to stay calm."

I focused my attention on the Best Man as he handed me his credit card, even though I could see all of the wrestlers in the background. I saw Roman and Seth grab a table in the back and I accidentally stared at them for a moment once the Best Man had returned to his friends. They saw me and we locked eyes for a moment. I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach. It looked like they wanted to wave, but were unsure about whether or not it was a good idea. I broke the gaze to start grabbing the beers that I knew most of them were going to order.

I hadn't seen Asshole in the sea of men, so I thought maybe I'd lucked out. Maybe he'd chosen to go to a strip club instead. Or maybe he'd already fooled some other poor girl into being one of his "regulars" and he was working his slimy magic on her right now in his hotel room. I sighed to myself, partly because I was glad to be free from that…and partly because a piece of me was actually feeling jealous.

I was filing up a pint of beer when I heard his voice enter the building.

"So which one of you ladies want to buy my drinks tonight?" His question was followed by some shrieks and giggles.

Thankfully my back was turned away so I didn't have to look at him or know if he had bothered to look at me. Still, I could feel my blood pressure rising and my pulse quickening just from his presence alone. How dare he come into my bar after he treated me that way? After all the time we spent together… He made me so fucking angry…

I felt the beer overflow from the glass and run down my hand onto the floor. I snapped back to reality and closed the tap. Dave quickly came over to help wipe up the spill and check in on me.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Thank you, Dave, but I need to stay here and deal with this. Don't get me wrong, I thought about escaping into the back as soon as I realized what was happening, but what would that do? It'd just show him that I was scared and was clearly the sucker in the relationship. I'll just become a punchline. I have to face him and show him that I'm stronger than that."

"El, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone, especially that guy. You just have to do what is going to make you happy. So if staying will do that, then so be it. Just try not to give all the alcohol to the floor. It doesn't tip very well."

I laughed and tossed the beer-soaked paper towel into the trash. I took Dave's hand as he offered to help me up off the floor. Dusting off my pants, I took a deep breath and grabbed my notepad from my pocket as I headed out to the tables.

I made sure to take orders from the closest tables first. I wasn't about to walk straight to his table. I wanted him to wait as I made myself smile, laugh, and flirt with the other wrestlers. I had no hard feelings with them and they'd always been quite nice to me in the past. I'd return with their drinks and give them a light touch on the arm when thanking them for stopping by. Classic strategy to try to boost tips. I never looked directly over at his table, but it felt like he was watching me work while he entertained his female entourage.

I was ready by the time it was his table's turn. I had relaxed enough where I wasn't a ticking bomb of rage, although I did still feel on edge. Hopefully he wouldn't do anything stupid and we could have a calm, pleasantly neutral interaction between a bartender and a patron. Of course, knowing him, that was unlikely.

"Hello gentlemen, ladies. What can I get for you this evening?" I made sure to look back and forth between Seth and Roman. I didn't want to accidentally catch his eye before I was ready.

"We'll, uh, just have two bottles of Sam Adams Boston Lager," Seth awkwardly stated, pointing between him and Roman.

"Okay, two bottles for each of you," I noted with a wink. I turned and looked Jon in the eyes. "And what can I get for you, Jon?"

As soon as his name fell out of my mouth, I knew I'd made a mistake. The corners of his lips slowly rose into a smirk.

"I'd like for you to give me a Blowjob and I'd like to give these girls a round of Screaming Orgasms. Could you do that for me…Lana?"

He spoke in that low raspy tone that he'd use during sex or when he was trying to convince me to do something. Despite my better judgment and his gratuitous ordering of dirty named shots that I knew he didn't even like, my body seemed to think it was still an arousing sound. His new gal pals certainly enjoyed it, laughing and nuzzling his arms and shoulders. I smiled and nodded at the table, noticing Roman mouthing  _We're sorry!_  to me as I turned around. I knew that they felt bad, but being sorry for their friend's actions wasn't going to magically make everything okay.

I grabbed the four bottles of beer and placed them on a tray once I returned to the bar. While mixing the shots, I kept glancing over at their table. Every time I did, he looked over and caught my gaze. That didn't help my heart beat at a normal pace. Finally, the order was complete and I headed back to the table, placing each drink in front of the proper person.

"Thank you,  _Lana_ ," Jon said. The emphasis on my name made my skin crawl. We stared hard at each other for a few seconds before I replied.

"You're very welcome,  _sir_." It took all my will power to not speak through gritted teeth.

I moved over to the next table a few feet away. One deep breath and I was able to put my pleasant server smile back on. I was about to ask the boys what I could get for them when I heard one of Jon's girls ask him a question behind me.

"Hey Dean, why'd you know her name? Who was she?"

"Oh, no one important. Just a bartender I fucked once."

That was it. My whole body tensed up. He'd gotten to me. He'd won. I had to get out of there. I dropped my pen and notepad and excused myself from the table I'd been standing at. I headed straight for the bathroom. Dave intercepted me halfway across the floor.

"Are you okay, El? What happened?"

"I'll be fine, I just need to take a few minutes to calm down. Really, I am."

"Okay..." He stepped back and let me pass him.

I turned the knob and stepped inside, closing the door behind me maybe a little harder than I should have. I didn't bother to lock it since I wasn't actually going to the bathroom. It was a one person bathroom and I didn't want to stop anyone else who may have needed it.

I leaned against the wall and tried to take slow, relaxing breaths. The fucking  _nerve_  of him. I wouldn't have expected him to not go out drinking with his friends after the show, but what did he have to gain from antagonizing me? He hadn't tried to call or text me in the six weeks since I told him to fuck off. Did he wait till now so he could see the look of anger on my face? I don't know what game he was trying to play, but I had assumed that he would've moved on already since he could get women with a twitch of his eyebrow. He was punishing me for the way I left that night. He was certain of it. What a fucking child. I believe that he deserved the way I treated him that night and I didn't deserve this humiliation tonight.

I heard the bathroom door open and close behind me, but I didn't immediately move.

"I'm sorry, please give me a second and I'll get your of your way."

I received no verbal response from the stranger, but heard the sound of the lock click into place. My heart began to pound again and I spun around in confusion. My eyes met a familiar smirk.

"What the fuck are you doing in here? Get out!" I yelled.

He stared back at me, still smirking. He cocked his head to the side, folded his arms, and didn't say a word. Not only did he intrude on my privacy, but he didn't have any reason for it other than to piss me off.  _Asshole_.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you…you…"

My mind was suddenly blank on insults. He found this quite amusing. His quiet laugh made my whole body shake with rage. I felt that tightness in my chest that I get. I felt so ashamed that he was able to make me feel this way.

He stepped forward and stroked my cheek with his hand. "Did I ever tell you how  _cute_  you are when you're angry?"

My lips curled into a scowl. I smacked his hand away from my face and pushed him as hard as I could in the chest. I saw that his smirk had changed into a grimace of his own.

Both of our chests were heaving and despite my better judgment, I found myself staring at his. I'm going to call it a temporary break in sanity, but I suddenly wanted him. I assumed he felt the same way because I caught him staring at my chest, too. Our eyes met again for a few seconds before we both grabbed at each other.

I gripped his shoulders, pulling him down enough so that I could reach his mouth easily. He grabbed my hips as I kissed him, and slid his fingers under the hem of my shirt, raking his nails across my skin.

I moved backward until I felt the sink. He must've known what I was thinking because he lifted me up onto it and we both started to unbutton our pants, neither of us saying a word. I had to wriggle around on the sink top to help get my pants down around my ankles. Of course, all Asshole had to do was unbutton his fly and pull his dick out.

I kicked my pants off completely and reached forward to grab his hair, pulling his head toward me and kissing him again, making sure to bite his lip hard in the hopes that he'd bleed. He dug his fingers into my thighs and roughly scooted my ass to the edge of the sink. I heard him rustling through his jean pocket and felt him roll on a condom. He never broke away from the kiss while doing it, like breaking away would show a sign of weakness.

We both pulled away and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as he rubbed a finger between my lips. I was surprisingly wet. Now I see what people mean when they talk about how good angry sex is. He placed the tip of his cock against my pussy and roughly pushed in.

I felt like this was a bizarre competition between us. There wasn't any real passion involved. Sex was the game and the winner… I suppose the winner would be whoever didn't orgasm first, at least in my opinion. I was determined to be victorious.

His thrusts lacked finesse. They were hard and fast, like he was hoping that he'd get lucky on where he was hitting and manage to get me off quickly. I don't know if it was because of the anger high I was feeling or if it was because I hadn't been able to mentally handle masturbating in the last six weeks, but it was unfortunately working. I focused everything on staying silent and pissed.

I glared into his eyes and could see that he was also finding it difficult to not make any sort of pleasurable noise. I tightened my pelvic floor muscles as much as I could and dug my fingernails into his shoulders.

It must've hurt him because he only lasted a few seconds before he slammed his fist against the mirror next to my head, making my body flinch. He meant it to scare me. It was just an empty threat. I narrowed my eyes and refused to break out stare down.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I was starting to feel lightheaded and the physical pleasure was building that familiar sensation inside of me. I knew my eyes looked panicked because he started to smile. He knew he was winning. The least I could do was try to make sure he didn't get to see it. I grabbed his face with one hand, his throat with the other, and squeezed.

My orgasm hit me much harder than I had expected. Again, I'll attribute it to not having had one in over a month and not to the person currently inside of me. I had managed to not make a peep up until that moment, but I couldn't help myself now. I needed to get this out of me. I needed to release this anger, this tension, this primal something that was inside me. It was loud and deep and I was oddly happy that it sounded like a warrior's battle cry.

What made me happier was that he came immediately after I did. I'd lost this unspoken battle between us, but I would've been angrier if he'd just pulled out and gone back into the bar like this was nothing to him. He pushed me back against the mirror as he pulled out and turned around to look for a trash can. I slipped off onto the floor and grabbed my pants.

As I pulled them on, watching him out of the corner of my eye, I started thinking about what would happen when I left this room. That's when the pleasant endorphins from my rage-gasm seemed to entirely dissipate from my system. My smile dropped and was replaced with a look of dread. Even if no one had noticed that both of us were in here at the same time, they sure as hell heard me orgasm and when two people emerge from a single bathroom after that… I really didn't want to possibly become an inside joke to the entire roster.  _Hey, remember that time Ambrose walked in on his ex in the bathroom and convinced her to have sex with him again? Hilarious!_

Maybe I could just stay in here for the rest of the night and no one would notice…?

I stood in place once my pants were fastened. My eyes were fixed onto the floor. I felt so stupid. I heard him shuffle to the door and undo the lock. I turned my head slightly and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring back at me with his hand on the doorknob. He made an exaggerated wink and tongue click at me and then left, closing the door behind him.

I sighed and approached the door. I held the doorknob and took a slow, deep breath before opening the door and stepping out into the bar.

Everyone was staring at me. Except for Jon. He had just arrived back at his seat and he was leaning back with his hands behind his head, a smug look on his face. I swallowed hard and quickly walked toward the back room.

Once I made it through the door, I grabbed my purse and began to walk toward the rear exit until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What the hell was that?" I turned around to see Dave. His eyes were a mix concern and disappointment. "Did he hurt you? I'm sorry I didn't even see him go in or I would've broken down the door

"No, Dave. He didn't hurt me. And nothing in there happened that I didn't want."

His eyes lost their concern and were now all disappointment.

"Are you fucking kidding me? After what he did? After he broke your agreement? You still want him?"

"No. I hate him. But I think I still love him. It's only been six weeks, Dave. I thought I would be okay. I thought I could handle it. He's like heroin and I know he's bad for me… yet I obviously still crave him. My mind is a wreck right now, so this addict is going to go detox upstairs now."

As I turned to walk away, I could feel the look of pity that I knew he was giving me.


	23. Hell Hath No Fury...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 4 months, finally an update of this. I apologize for the long wait. Part of it was from getting ready for this nursing program I start in a few weeks, part was because other story ideas came more easily to me, and part was because I have seriously struggled with this chapter. It still doesn't really feel like how I imagine it in my head, but I think this is as good as it's going to get.
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by Paula Cole's "Throwing Stones".

You know you really fucked up when it feels like your apartment is judging you. I can't quite explain it, but it just felt like it didn't want me inside of it. _Sorry Lana, this apartment is only for smart, strong women. Not some weak dummy who can't last two minutes alone in a room with her ex without taking her pants off._

As much as I hated him, I hated myself so much more. I dropped my bag on the floor as I shuffled into my bedroom. I felt so dead inside. Worthless. Disgusting. A failure. I wondered if this is how a recovering addict feels after a relapse. I undressed and was about to hop into bed when I noticed that I reeked of sex.

I walked like a zombie into the bathroom. I stopped in front of the mirror and stared at myself. I looked horrid and felt worse. Who had I become? I loathed the woman staring back at me. Sighing, I got in the shower and turned the water up to the hottest temperature I could stand. Whatever it took to scald off the skin that touched him. It seemed like the only way I'd feel clean.

I stayed in the shower after I'd finished washing myself. It was calming and the white noise of the water hitting the shower floor gave me something to focus on, instead of my own thoughts. Finally the water ran cold and I forced myself to get out. Only about forty minutes had passed since I got back upstairs. I threw on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, then crawled into bed.

I was afraid that I'd be unable to sleep, stuck replaying the night's events over and over again in my head. Lucky for me, sleep came quickly. Unlucky for me, I was awoken not an hour later by some racket outside. It sounded like some trash cans were getting knocked around. Maybe an animal was rummaging through them looking for food.

"LAAANANAAA!"

Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me...

"LAAANAAAAA! You fuckin’ bitch...COME OUT TO PLAAAAAY!"

I heard more clatter, but now I knew exactly what kind of feral animal was scurrying about down there. I headed over to the bedroom window and threw it open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yelled, leaning out the window.

I saw Jon staggering around like he was doing a drunken dance. He wildly kicked at the ground and managed to send a few rocks flying down the street. He stopped suddenly and looked up at my window. My apartment was on the third floor. It was close enough so that we could see each other easily in the well-lit street, but far enough away that using an inside voice wasn't going to cut it. I don't think either of us would've used inside voices anyway.

"Y’stupid bitch," he slurred. "Why ya gotta…why…you do these things?"

“I’m a bitch? For what?! What are these ‘things’ I’m doing?”

“Breakin’ up wi’ me, then seducin’ me inna fuckin’ bathroom. Make up your fuckin’ mind, woman!”

" _Excuse me_? _I_ seduced you? You walked into the bathroom on me and you were just as responsible for us fucking as I am. And the break-up? You slept with some fucking slut without letting me know ahead of time when we had an agreement that you could fuck anyone you goddamn wanted to as long as you told me!  I may hate myself, but not enough to stay in a bullshit situation like that. And you have the fucking nerve to call me a stupid bitch and blame it all on me?"

"You're’s much of a slut as that chick was. Or was it some other slut bartender I banged here last year? I remember she was aching for it ‘cause no one wanted t’ fuckin’ touch her ‘n months."

It felt as if steam was coming off of my body, I was so fucking pissed. Like I didn't already feel shitty enough about banging him earlier, but now he was going to rub salt in the wound. I felt confused, too. Why was he going out of his way to yell at me outside my building? Did he get some sick pleasure out of shaming the women he sleeps with? If that was the case, he sure did play a long game with me. Maybe because he knew it would hurt me more.

The thought made me even more furious.

"Fine, I'm a slut. I'll admit it. Does that make you fucking happy?"

"Yeah, sluts ‘re the best," he interrupted.

"But if I'm a slut for giving in after my pussy was aching to be touched by someone else," I continued, "then what are you? You stick your fucking dick into anything that moves!"

"I'm fuckin’ awesome! And if it piss’t you off that much that I fucked other chicks, you wouldn't’ve waited this long t’make it a big deal!"

He shook his fist at his side and paced around in a circle before he stopped, dropped his hands, and stared up at me. I felt a shiver run down my back from the look in his eyes.

"Or would y’have?" he asked. "Would ya have kept that anger ‘nside? Never tellin’ me that it pissed ya off cause you were ‘fraid of bein’ ‘lone again?"

"I was alone for months before you showed up and I was perfectly happy!"

"Bullshit! You stayed a’ home and watched TV when ya weren’t at the bar workin’. You never went out’n fuckin’ lived life!" His arms flailed around in the air as he yelled.

"That was by choice, asshole! And you have no right to say that I live a sad life when yours consists of living in constant pain and then playing STD roulette after work. How is that any better than what I choose to do?"

"My life’s by choice too ‘cause I love what I do. As much as you wanna say that you were happy on yer own, you were fuckin’ mis’rable the night I met you n’you can't deny that.”

I pulled away from the window and paced around the bedroom. I didn't need this right now. Maybe if I ignored him, he'd go back into the bar and leave me the fuck alone.

"Come ooooon…don' fuckin’ hide in your room, Lana! Come out’n plaaaaay! I know ya can't resist me, I proved that in the bathroom t’night."

My hands immediately clenched into fists. The son of a bitch was just digging his fingers into the still fresh wound. He was treating it like it was a game. I couldn't just let this be. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt my arms begin to shake. I tried to stay calm, but it wasn't working. I quickly scanned the room and went straight for an empty bottle of wine that I hadn't recycled yet. I marched up to the window and hurled it down at him as hard as I could.

"FUCKIN’ CUNT!" he hollered when he looked up to see the bottle flying toward him. He was able to jump back so that it didn't hit him, but he stumbled and fell on his ass. He put his hands up to guard his face from the chunks of glass.

"You're NEVER fucking MY cunt again, so I hope you enjoyed your last time!" I yelled out the window, not caring who heard me.

"Like I give a shit!" He pushed himself off the ground and dusted off the seat of his pants. "I have my choice of young, tight pussy wherever I go! Oh, an’ your ass ISN’T THAT NICE!"

I opened up my mouth to spit out a comeback, but I was interrupted by a woman's voice loudly calling out to Jon.

"Heeeyy...Dean where did ya go? I thought you were just coming out here for a smoke?"

I leaned out the window to look down at the bar entrance. The girl who'd been sitting on his lap earlier came out and ran up to him. At least it looked like that was what she was trying to do, but after a few drinks and in those heels, it was more like a stumble. She draped her arms around his neck like a scarf and it looked like a smile crossed his face.

"Yeah darlin, tha's what I was gonna do, but I got d’stracted by the sound of a bitch ‘n heat." He glanced up at me at the end of the sentence, just to make sure I knew he was talking about me.

"Well its owner shoulda fixed it then, like the Price is Right guy use'ta say. Deeeaaan, come back iinsiiide. Or better yet, let's get outta here."

She went up on her toes as much as she could and buried her face in his neck. I could only see her mumbling something into his skin. Based on his facial reaction, I was pretty sure I knew what the subject was.

I pushed away from the window and began to pace around my bedroom again. I didn't have another empty bottle to throw. Dammit. I wanted to deck the two of them in the face with something. Something hard, something sharp, something heavy, it didn't matter. I just wanted to see blood and pain. I kicked the wall as hard as I could, then leaned against it face first. Hopefully if I just stayed away from the window, his nightly fuck would lead him away so I could live out my life in peace.

That's when I suddenly got the urge to cry. I didn't want to just live out my life in peace. I wanted to live it with him. To share things with him. To laugh with him. To...I don't know...maybe grow old with him, if he wanted to. I was definitely still in love and it hurt like a motherfucker. I was about to just let myself cry and get it over with when I was interrupted by more commotion outside. This time, however, it wasn't Jon's drunken rambling. Instead it was the sound of loud female moaning.

That dried up my tear ducts real fucking fast.

My lips pursed real tight and my eyes widened in fury. I slowly walked to the window and looked down at the street. The woman's shirt was pulled up to her neck and her breasts were only covered by the large hands of one Asshole. His fingers were roughly pinching and pulling at her nipples, which she clearly got off on. Despite the fact that she was making noises that would make most straight men weep, Jon's attention was not on her.

It was clearly fixed on me. His eyes had been on my window before I had ever got to it. His face lit up in sick enjoyment when he saw me watching. He stuck his tongue out and lowered his mouth to her face, slowly licking up her cheek while never breaking eye contact with me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I screamed. "You're a fucking child!"

"Nope...nope nope, I'm a grown ass man, bitch! And I'll show you what a real chick’s ass is s’posed to look like!”

I scoffed and watched as he grabbed the bottom of the woman's skirt and hoisted it around her waist. He yanked her panties down around her thighs. He spun her around and leaned over to smack her ass. It was hard and loud enough that I could hear the sound echo against the buildings.

“Hear that? Tight’n firm! You c’n bounce a fuckin’ quarter off this shit!”

"Dean, are you still out he-? Oh for the love of..." I heard Seth's voice coming from the door of the bar, but I didn't bother to look at him. "Goddammit...Roman! I need your help..." His voice trailed off back into the bar.

He grabbed both of her cheeks and squeezed them, before smacking them again. And again. And again. Each slap made me twitch. Even after all of this, I still felt torn between wanting to hurt him…and wanting him to hurt me.

The bar door swung open violently enough for me to actually break my gaze. I watched as Roman came running out the door and I thought he was going to spear Jon for a moment. I was disappointed when he didn't.

"What the fuck are you doing, man?" he asked, pushing on Jon's shoulder.

"Livin’ life! It's too fuckin’ short t’ not have fun. This chick wants t’ get the WWE VIP experience, if y’know what I mean, so I'm trying to make her wish come true!"

"In the middle of the goddamn street? Are you out of your mind? What the fuck is with you tonight?"

Roman stared at Jon and followed his eyes up to my window. I quickly retreated into the room. I didn't want to be involved any longer. His friends would take him back to the hotel and I could finally get some sleep and try to forget this night ever happened.

I had about thirty seconds of solitude before the loud female moaning started up again.

I didn't bother to go to the window. I decided instead to head into my kitchen. I walked up to the toaster, picked it up, and yanked the cord from the wall. I returned to my bedroom window and without saying anything, hurled it toward the group outside. My aim wasn't as good as with the bottle and it landed a few feet in front of them. It looked like Seth and Roman had managed to pull Jon away from the woman and had been trying to get her clothes back in order. The sound of the toaster smashing on the asphalt startled them and they all looked up at me.

"I hope you get herpes, motherfucker!" I yelled down.

I saw Roman gesture toward Seth and then disappear back into the bar. Seth held on to Dean's shoulders and tried speaking to him calmly. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but it seemed to be working. I was glad to have this bomb diffused, although I was so riled up at this point that I basically said goodbye to the idea of getting any sleep tonight.

I peeked out of the window quickly and saw that Seth had subdued Dean enough so that he was standing in place on his own, even if he was fidgeting. Now Seth was speaking with the young woman and it looked like he was trying to find a way for her to get back home safely. Good. Get them both the fuck out of here.

Sighing, I returned to my kitchen and poured myself a glass of scotch. It was clearly that kind of night. I'd just taken a sip when I heard a knock at the door.

"Go the fuck away, asshole!" I yelled at the door.

"Hey Lana, it's Roman. Can we talk?"

My nose scrunched. Not the worst person to be behind that door, but I still didn't want to deal with him.

"GO. AWAY." I threw back the rest of my drink, making a face as it burned my throat.

"GODDAMMIT DEAN!" I heard Seth holler.

I looked toward my bedroom, horror etched on my face. My grip on the glass tightened.

"GET DOWN FROM...GET BACK HERE!"

I had a feeling I knew what was happening and I wasn't having it. I looked at the glass in my hand and gritted my teeth. I’d made a decision. It’s a shame. I really liked that glass.

"I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE!” I hollered, my voice cracking into a higher octave.

I stormed through the living room, heading toward the open window in my room. My body felt like it was submerged in water. Sounds were muffled and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I heard the clanging of the fire escape. I heard the doorknob rattle behind me. I heard my footsteps stomping against the floor. The poor people who lived under me.

I stepped inside my room and saw that ruffled mop of dark blonde hair rising up over the sill. I stood still, frozen in place. I turned the glass in my hand as his finger grabbed the sides of the window and he stuck his head in.

“Who d’ya love?” he laughed.

Last fucking straw.

I lunged forward and pulled back my fist, ready to smash the glass into his nose. Sure, he’d been cut up and mangled before in his early days and was probably used to it, but I didn’t care. This was now and if he showed up to work with a scabbed over face, it’d be a much bigger deal. I wanted to see his pretty face covered in blood and glass, and then I wanted to push him off the fucking fire escape.

I hadn’t taken two steps before I felt a pair of large hands grab my wrists and pull me back against a warm body.

“NO!” I screamed.

“Girl, get a grip!” Roman said from behind me. That’s what I get for not always remembering to lock my door. His friend should feel damn lucky.

“ROMAN, LET ME GO!” I pleaded in vain. I refocused my attention to my target, who found this all very amusing. “YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”

“Oops, my bad,” he smiled and shrugged.

I finally saw Seth appear from behind him. He put his hand on Jon’s shoulder and muttered, “Let’s go back to the hotel, man.”

“Nah, I wanna go in here.”

He started to try to climb in my window. I leaned over and bit hard into Roman’s hand. He let go of me for a second, giving me the chance to charge forward. Seth wrapped his arms around Jon’s waist, holding him back before he could step inside. His whole torso, however, was inside my bedroom. Roman hooked his arms under my own, causing my legs to slip out from under me. I struggled, trying to wiggle free from his hold. I was only about a foot from Jon’s face. He was still smiling, finding my hysterical rage amusing.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

“Seth, get him the fuck out of here! I’ll meet you guys later at the hotel,” Roman ordered.

Seth nodded and pulled Jon from the window. I was surprised when he didn’t fight back. Roman hoisted me up enough for him to get close to the window and shut it. I continued to move around, kicking my heels into his knees and shins.

“Jesus Christ, Lana!”

He tossed me onto my bed and roughly turned me over onto my back when I tried to get up. I tried to claw at his face, but he grabbed my wrists and pushed them above my head. Roman loomed above me, his weight focused on pinning me down. If it had been under different circumstances, I probably would've found it very arousing, but there was nothing sexy about this. His hair fell away from his hair and lightly brushed my face. I found it strangely soothing.

"Are you going to calm the fuck down now?" he asked. His voice was low and very serious.

The sound of our breathing was the only thing in the room. It was heavy and quick, slowly coming down from the earlier aggression. We stared at each other. He was searching for some sign that could tell him it was safe to let me go. I was searching for some answer in his eyes, some answer to why his friend had acted the way he did.

After a few minutes of this, I nodded slowly. He made a low noise, sort of like a growl, to show that he wouldn't hesitate to hold me down again if I were to lash out.

He finally sat up and slid off the bed. I rolled my wrists to try to get the blood moving again while he paced back and forth, rubbing his forehead. I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of my bed, watching his feet as he walked back and forth.

"So...can you tell me what the fuck has been going on between you two?" he asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I said, my voice monotone.

"No, or I wouldn't waste my time asking." He sighed and leaned against the wall. "All I've been able to see is two people lose their minds in one night."

"I am quite sane, Roman. My mind has never been clearer."

"Bullshit. I may not know you extremely well, but I know that you don't normally act this way. So again, what the fuck has been going on?"

“Why don’t you ask ‘your boy’ what’s going on?” I scoffed.

“You know that Dean is a private dude. Sure, he tells me a lot of stuff that he doesn’t tell others, but he’s been a goddamn clam about you since last month. I’ve tried asking how you were a few times and he just stared off out the window. I knew that something was up, but I don’t know any specifics. So, please, I insist.”

I sighed and stared at my feet. “So you remember when you saw me at the hotel last month? I said I had something important to tell him.”

“Yeah, I vaguely remember that.”

“The important thing I was going to say was that I loved him. When I got to his room, though, he was with another woman, and there was no text on my phone about it. I asked him how many women he’d been with that he didn’t text me about, he said he couldn’t remember. So I was done. Said I was tired of all of this and left. I thought it was over and I wouldn’t have to see him ever again and I could get over him.

“Then this happens. Just as I’m starting to be happy again, you guys show up, he acts like a dick, then intrudes on me in the bathroom. We fuck, he leaves proud, I leave ashamed. I try to go home and sleep, but he wakes me up while drunkenly yelling my name.

“So there it is. I told you my side. I have no fucking clue what is going on in his wormy brain, but I’m tired of this fucking game already.”

I felt my eyes well up and soon my face was wet. I could see the look of pity on Roman's face. He came over and sat down next to me, rubbing his large hand on my back.

"It's okay to cry. You don't have to hold it back."

"I'm not crying, Roman."

He dropped his hand and cocked his head, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm not crying. If I was crying, it'd mean I was wasting more time and more bodily fluids on a man who gets off on fucking with people. It's not like he didn't warn me. It's not like Mercedes didn't warn me. But I didn't listen. I never fucking listen. I can't blame him, though. I guess I’m just unlovable, plain and simple. First the man I thought was the love of my life left me, and as soon as I felt capable of loving someone again, of being able to let myself be vulnerable with another person, I was tossed away like a spoiled piece of meat. I was past my ‘best banged by’ date and he wanted something fresher. That man is not worth the time and agony. So no, Roman. I'm not crying. In fact, I'm ecstatic! I should actually send him a thank you card!” I smiled weakly. “Laced with anthrax," I mumbled. My face fell again and I let the tears continue silently.

We were both quiet for a long time. I didn't want him to speak, but I also didn't want to ask him to go. Eventually he stood up and started to leave. He stopped at my bedroom door, not turning around to face me.

"I won't pry any more, but for the record, you are lovable and very deserving of love. He might be my best friend...” He paused and sighed. “…but he can also be a fucking idiot. Goodnight, Lana." He flicked off the bedroom light and left.

I continued to stare out into nothingness as I heard the apartment door click shut. I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you how long I sat there. I'd lost track of time. All I know is that I eventually found myself curled up in the fetal position on top of my covers when I woke up around eight, still exhausted and with a splitting headache.

* * *

 The next week of work was awkward. That was my new ritual, apparently. If I'd thought it was nerve-racking to face Dave after I'd shown up crying at his door and then tried to molest him while drunk, this felt even worse. The last time, even though it was horrifyingly embarrassing, he kind of understood my actions. This time, I knew he was ashamed of me.

I was ashamed of myself, too. I wasn't really sure what I'd say to him if he asked me why I'd done what I did after being hurt so badly. If I was truly honest, it _was_ that I still loved him, despite everything. It's difficult to get over someone that quickly, even if they hurt you. As pathetic as it may sound, it was the truth. I just hoped he'd understand.

Dave didn't speak to me that whole week, other than necessary things, like what someone ordered or what tasks still needed to be done. We still closed together that week, which was the most uncomfortable of it all. I so badly wanted to talk to him, to explain myself, but I was afraid to try to start an actual conversation with him. We just worked in this awkward silence, both knowing that the subject of the bathroom incident was hanging in the air.

Finally though, at the end of the week, when we were getting our stuff to leave, he said goodnight to me. It felt like I'd been able to let go of a breath I'd been holding. He still didn't smile at me or crack jokes, but it was a start. I just had to give him time.

The next week was much better. He'd ask me how my morning was. He lean over and comment on certain customers to make me laugh. I still didn't dare try to bring up the forbidden subject, but things felt more like normal with him. It was almost like nothing had ever happened.

By the end of the third week, it felt as though everything had smoothed over, so I tried to finally apologize, officially, that Saturday night. We were putting away the clean glasses and chatting as we usually did when we closed down the bar together.

“So then she said, ‘gin and tonic? After this, I’m gonna have to call it a gin and panic’!” David laughed after he delivered the punchline to his story about one of the women from his apartment.

“That’s not that funny, man,” I confessed, smiling, but looking at him like he was crazy.

“Ahh, she tells it better. I guess you had to be there,” he said, wiping his eyes.

“That’s okay. Humor is subjective.” I paused for a moment, trying to figure out the right words. “So, uh… I need to apologize for the, uh…incident…a couple weeks ago.”

Dave sighed and put his hands on the bar, his shoulders hunched over. “Yeah, I figured it was coming. Don’t worry about it, El,” he muttered.

“No, seriously, I feel like shit about the whole thing. I’ve been stressing over how to talk to you about it and how to explain what I was thinking and feeling at the time and I-”

Dave put his hand up to stop me from speaking. “I don’t want to hear it, El.”

 “No, please, Dave, it’s really important to me to fix this between us, so please…”

He turned his head to look at me, a small smile peeking over his shoulder. “I don’t want to hear it right _now_ , that’s all.”

He stood up straight and walked up to me, pulling me into a hug. It caught me off-guard.

“It’s late and I’m kinda tired. This just seems like it’d end up being a long conversation that I don’t really want to deal with tonight.” He sighed and pulled away from me, but kept his hands on my arms. “I feel like we haven’t hung out in a while. Like really hung out, not just have sex.”

We both smiled sheepishly.

“How about this?” he continued. “Let’s go get some brunch in the morning, like around 10 or so, and you can get out everything you’ve been keeping locked inside that lovely head of yours. Deal?”

I nodded. “Okay, deal. Any particular place you want to go?”

“Hell yeah, we’re going to Betsy’s. It’s the only place where I can get a muffin that’s the size of both of my fists put together with a side of gravy fries.” His face was blissed out, like he was already imagining that bizarre combination in his stomach.

“You are so weird,” I laughed. “So should I meet you there or do you want to come over and we’ll walk together since it’s closer to me?”

“I’ll grab you upstairs and we can walk. I hear the weather’s going to be nice tomorrow.”

* * *

 It was 9:41 in the morning and I was rushing around to get ready. I’m so used to sleeping till noon on Sundays that I kept hitting snooze on my alarm and had finally just gotten up. I pulled some sweatpants and a baggy tee from the drawer and tossed it on my bed. We were going to brunch at the local greasy spoon, not one of those fancy places uptown. It’s not like I had anyone I wanted to try to impress anyway, so I didn’t care.

I showered as quickly as I could and I was hooking my bra when there was a knock at the door. 9:52. Of course Dave would be running early when I’m running late.

“Give me a sec!” I called out.

I yanked the shirt over my head and went to deal with the locks. I’ve been trying to be better about actually using them lately.

“Sorry Dave, I’m running a bit behind,” I said as I unlocked each one, before opening the door with a smile.

It wasn’t Dave.


	24. Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. I went back to school full time last May and it's been taking up most of my life. I finally felt inspired again a few weeks ago and this is the result. This chapter is brought to you by 2 weeks of Muse's "Madness" on repeat. That song got me in the perfect mindset for this chapter. It's sort of become my anthem for these two. Give it a listen. I hope the chapter feels worth the wait.

My face wrinkled in disgust the moment my eyes locked with his. I stepped back and closed the door as quickly as I could. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that he didn't try to put his hand out to catch the door. I would have reveled in his scream of agony when I broke his fucking hand.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I expected. I deserve that. I came here to talk, Lana."

"Go fuck yourself, Jon!"

"Expected that, too. Look, how about I give you some time to cool off and then we can talk, okay?"

"How about I give you the rest of your life to go fuck yourself and then I never have to hear your voice again?"

"I'm serious. This is important."

I stared at the door, silently grimacing.

"Now you're ignoring me. Fine, but I'm not leaving until you let me in so we can talk and get this over with."

I smirked. Those are famous last words before someone gets hungry, gives up, and leaves.

"Fine then, we'll see how long you last with that!" I yelled at the door.

No response.

Good. Fine. That's what I wanted. I checked the clock and it had just turned ten. Still no sign of Dave. I took out my phone and shot him a text.

_Hey, just meet me at the restaurant. Looks like you're running a bit late, so I'm going to head over._

Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I reached for the doorknob before I stopped myself. Fuck. How was I going to leave? I didn't dare open the door and risk him trying to come in, or worse, trying to grab me as I walked by. I paced around for a moment before heading toward the window. If that asshole could get in through it, then I could get out.

As I lifted it open and climbed outside, I immediately had second thoughts. Fire escapes certainly aren't made for regular use. Still, the rickety metal sure beat dealing with the giant rodent outside my door. Once I made it down to the ground safely, I headed straight for Betsy's. It was already busy at the popular breakfast and brunch spot, but it didn't look like there was a wait. I popped my head in and did a quick scan for Dave. No luck.

I went back outside and paced up and down the sidewalk. What could be taking him so long? This had been his idea in the first place. I took my phone back out and checked to see if he'd texted me back. Nothing. Sighing, I sent another text letting him know I was inside waiting.

I went back inside and approached the bar. I smiled at the bartender as I slid onto a stool and ordered a mimosa. She slid me that sparkling orange deliciousness and I slid her a ten. I checked the clock at the front of the restaurant. Ten twenty. The day had barely began and it was already not going how I'd imagined it would. I just wanted to go back to sleep and hope that it'd be a different day when I awoke.

I rubbed my temples with my hands and let out an exasperated groan.

"What's going on, sugar?" the bartender asked.

"Ahh, I guess it could be summed up with 'dude problems'. Both of them are giving me a headache."

"Juggling two men at once, huh? Sounds stressful."

"No, I'm not with either of them. I mean I was sleeping with both of them, but that was..." I paused, realizing this wasn't what I wanted to talk about right now. "They are just two very frustrating people in my life at the moment. So this mimosa is helping more than it probably should."

She nodded back at me and gave me a small smile before turning around to prepare more drinks. I sat in silence, sipping my brunch booze and trying to not think about how I was stood up by one guy and couldn't get rid of the other. The sound of the straw struggling to suck up those last drops of orange juice and champagne brought my back to the present. I put two extra dollars under the empty glass and headed back outside.

Ten forty, my phone said. Still no word from Dave. Seriously, what the fuck. He's never been flakey like this before. I decided to finally call his phone directly. Maybe that would get him to answer me.

"Hello?" A woman's voice greeted me from the other side.

I was stunned into silence, only finally answering when she repeated herself.

"Uh...hi? Can I speak to Dave please?"

"He's still sleeping at the moment. Who is this?"

Who the hell was she? I so badly wanted to throw the question back at her, but I knew that wouldn't help matters right now. "This is Lana...his friend…coworker… Uh, just tell him to call me when he gets a chance, please." I hung up quickly, afraid I'd snap if I stayed on the line any longer.

I sighed again. I was still hungry, but didn't feel like going to brunch alone. I could make my own breakfast, but I didn't want to risk seeing the beast outside my door. I decided to go for a long walk to kill time, assuming that Jon would eventually give up and go away. Probably to fuck some woman he just met. I walked for about an hour. It helped distract me from my hunger, and eventually the rumbles in my stomach passed.

My feet were pretty sore by the time I looped back around to my neighborhood. I decided to stop at the grocery store to pick up some things, namely bacon and eggs. It was time to have a brunch of my own.

As I turned the corner on my floor, I nearly dropped the bag of food out surprise. Jon was still there, sitting against the wall by my door, and sleeping. I snuck past him, quietly unlocking my door and slipping inside without waking him. What was he still doing here? Did he have nothing better to do? Nah, I knew the answer. He's as stubborn as I am. He'd never be able to outlast me, though. He'd have to leave by tonight or early tomorrow morning to make it to Raw. It seemed odd that he didn't have to work a house show tonight, but he probably just wasn't booked this time.

The scent of the breakfast cooking calmed my nerves. I was still pissed that Dave had stood me up, and I still hadn't heard from him. He'd be getting an earful from me at work tomorrow. I leaned against the counter and quickly scarfed down the food. The taste of fluffy scrambled eggs and apple-smoked bacon made me feel like a person again.

When I left the kitchen after washing my dishes, something by the door to the hall caught my eye. I bent down and picked up a bar napkin with something written messily on the front.

_Torturing me with the smell of bacon, Lana? Mean._

I snorted and the corners of my mouth rose a little bit. Frustrated by my reaction, I rolled my eyes, crumpled the napkin, and threw it in the trash. It made me feel uncomfortable that he could still make me laugh even while he pissed me off.

* * *

I started off my Monday shift in a sour mood. When I had left my apartment at 2pm, I found Jon staring up at me from his spot on the floor. His hair was more disheveled than usual, which said a lot. He was still wearing the same clothes from the day before. I looked down at him, sour with pursed lips. He looked up at me with a charming smile. Fuck him. So I was already salty to begin with when Dave showed up.

"Hey El," he greeted me as he came behind the bar.

"Don't you 'hey El' me, David!" I whipped a dishtowel at him. He let it land on his face.

"I know I was a shitty friend yesterday," he said as he pulled the towel off and started cleaning with it.

"Yeah, what the hell was that all about? You could've called me to cancel or at least answer your own phone. So who's your new secretary?"

He shook his head at me. "Stop acting crazy."

"I'm not acting crazy. You stop being secretive."

"Alright, here's what happened. That woman who answered my phone is one of my neighbors. If you remember when we went out to karaoke that time when we slayed the Thong Song together, she was one of the girls who I was hanging out with us. Her name is Melody. Anyway, when I got home Saturday night, she was sitting in the hallway messing around on her phone. I asked her why she was sitting outside her apartment so late. She said she had been sexiled by her roommate at the last minute and she hadn't been able to make arrangements for a place to sleep, so she was looking at hotel rates on her phone. I offered for her to sleep on my couch and she accepted."

"Okay that's all well and good, but how would that cause you to oversleep and leave me hanging?"

"Well, that's because I didn't get to sleep till five-ish…" He smiled and bit his lip, just like he used to after we'd...

"You guys had sex?!"

I know it wasn't logical, and who he had sex with wasn't my business, but my stomach dropped when he nodded. I forced myself to smile for him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't plan it or anything. I'd always thought she was hot and apparently she felt the same about me, and the opportunity arose, so to speak."

"Dick jokes, Dave? Seriously?" I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "I waited for almost an hour at the restaurant, left a message with her and never heard back from you.

"Really, I'm sorry Lana. Consider us even? In regards to how I was pissed at you for having angry sex in the bathroom of our workplace and how you were pissed that I stood you up because I was sleeping after having not-angry sex?"

"Fine, we're even," I grumbled. Dave lifted his arms and came in for a hug. "I'm sorry I'm so cranky. I've just been on edge since yesterday morning."

"I'm sorry my lack of penile control got you that upset."

"No, no, that's not really it. Jon showed up at my door yesterday morning."

"What?"

"Yeah, I thought he was you coming to get me for brunch. He said he wanted to talk, but I didn't let him in. I thought he'd go away on his own, but just now when I came down for work, he was still there. He gave me this smugly charming smile when he looked at me, like he knew he was going to win. Fucking pissed me off."

"Do you think he wants to talk about his betrayal of your trust? Do you think he wants to get back together with you?"

"Probably? I don't know. That or he thinks I'll just bend over against a wall or hop up onto a sink for him again. Whatever, it doesn't matter either way. I'm done with him." I mimed washing my hands and shaking them dry.

"No you're not."

My brow furrowed at his comment. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you still love him, El. It's rare to get over someone immediately, even if they hurt you. …And what he did was a fucking doozy. If you didn't still love him, I don't think you would be so pissed right now. You wouldn't care that he was sitting outside your door, or you would call the police and report that there was a suspicious man loitering in your apartment. But no, you haven't done anything to actually remove him, and you clearly care. Three weeks ago, you had sex with him, even though you had sobbed to me about how he broke your heart. I can tell you it wasn't because it was just 'revenge sex' because you were the only one who looked hurt afterward. It was because you were still in love with him, angry as he made you, and you're still in love with him now. I've accepted it, why can't you?"

The two of us stared at each other for a moment, only breaking when the door opened and some customers entered.

"Let's just drop this and work out shift, okay?" I asked.

"Fine. Just promise me this, El. If the guy is still sitting outside your door at the end of the week..."

"Oh God…" I covered my face with my hands.

"...just let him say his piece. He'll have earned it at that point."

* * *

He was still outside my door when I left for work and when I returned on Tuesday. I assume that he must have been using the bar bathroom and eating at one of the small cafes a couple buildings down. He was still wearing the same clothes that he had shown up in on Sunday. He looked scuzzier than usual.

When I left for work on Wednesday, there he was, yet again. I didn't really even feel angry about it anymore. Like after four days, I was just used to it. Like I had accepted that he was just going to live outside my apartment forever.

I worked a two to ten shift that afternoon and had just clocked out for the night. As I was heading up the stairs, I happened to pass by the landlady of the apartment complex, Mrs. Dalton. She was a prim sort of woman in her mid-fifties and she usually didn't cause me any issue.

"Oh, Miss Lana, I was just going down to the bar to speak with you."

"Really? I just got off my shift. What can I do for you, Mrs. Dalton?" I asked.

"It's about that boyfriend of yours who's been sitting outside for your apartment for days."

"Oh, no ma'am, we're not-" I tried to interject, but she wasn't paying attention.

"He's been making the other tenants uncomfortable. I don't know what sort of weird sex game you two are playing, but it needs to stop. It's not polite to shove your 'alternative lifestyle'," she emphasized with air quotes, "in the faces of your normal neighbors."

I had to use all of my mental energy to hold my tongue and just smile and nod at her. "You're so right, ma'am. I apologize to you and my neighbors. I'll get right on that."

She patted me on the shoulder and headed back up the stairs. I smacked my hand on the wall and let out an agitated growl. I was forced to do what I didn't want to. I was forced to let him in. He was going to win. I sighed and turned around going back out the stairs and out the side entrance to the building.

I walked two blocks away to a sandwich shop called Heroes of Hunger that was always open till midnight. I ordered a large steak sub and a bottled water, and thought about how I was going to approach this while I ate. I really didn't want to deal with him right now. When I felt full, I wrapped up the remainder and went back home.

He was slumped slightly to the side when I reached my floor. His eyes were closed and his mouth with slightly ajar. He couldn't be comfortable sleeping like that. I approached my door and the sound of my footsteps jolted him awake. He rubbed his eyes and swept his hands over his head to get some loose strands of hair off his face before he looked up at me. I tossed the bag at his chest and went to unlock my door.

"Thanks," he said as he looked inside the bag.

I didn't answer, only opened the door and stepped inside. I waited for a moment in the doorway, but he didn't move.

"Well? Are you coming in or what?" I asked.

"Oh," I heard him mumble as he stood up. Watching the way he moved, I could tell that he really had spent most of the past four days sitting in the hallway.

He followed me inside and closed the door. I put my purse down on a chair, but then thought otherwise and picked it back up.

"You smell terrible. I'm going to assume that you haven't changed your clothes or showered since Sunday?"

He already had a mouthful of sub, so he just nodded.

I sighed at the hassle. "Fantastic. Alright, whatever, there's a thrift store down the street that is open surprisingly late. Stay here and finish the sub then take a damn shower, and I'll run down there are get you some clean clothes. It's like I'm your fucking mom or something."

I grabbed the keys just in case he was going to try to lock me out, and I walked toward the door. "And I swear, Jon, if you fuck up anything in my apartment, I will murder you and happily go to prison for it."

I felt like an idiot paying for clothes for him. Sure they were used, cost five dollars total, and the money went to a local charity, but still. This was doing something nice for him. I could've made him stay in his smelly clothes. Then again, I guess that would've been a loss for me, too, and I'd really rather not smell him. While I walked back home, I kept thinking about how I really didn't want to do this. Just let him mumble for ten minutes and then you can be rid of him for good, I thought. Still, I think I had a bad feeling about this because being around him causes me to make stupid decisions.

I unlocked the door again and held my breath when I saw him standing in the living room, putting his dirty clothes into a plastic bag, and only wearing one of my towels around his waist. I closed the door behind me and he looked up at me when he heard the click. His eyes peeked through those wet curls and he smiled. I felt weak, mentally and physically. This already wasn't going well.

"Here," I said, throwing the bag at him. "It's just a black t-shirt with a bald eagle playing an electric guitar on it and some jeans with a couple small holes in the leg. There's also a pair of thin cotton shorts I figured you could use as boxers or something."

"Thanks."

"No problem," I muttered while I put my purse down.

I sighed and poured myself a glass of wine to help with whatever he was going to say. Either I'd drink it and feel better, or I'd throw it in his face and feel even better. I sat down in the middle of my couch and took off my shoes while he went to change in the bathroom. Just 10 minutes, Lana, and he'll be gone and you can go to sleep.

He came out dressed and tried to sit down next to me.

"I don't remember telling you that you could sit. I let you into my apartment so you could get whatever it is off your chest, and really only because my landlady says you're freaking out my neighbors. So spill and get out."

"Fine then. I need to apologize to you for breaking the terms of our relationship, and for being a drunken asshole and intentionally provoking you in your bar...and then yelling outside your apartment...and then trying to climb in your apartment. Fuck, it sounds even worse when I say it out loud."

"Yeah, no shit. Apology not accepted, now get the fuck out of my apartment."

"I'm not done, and I'm not leaving until I'm done. I promise I'll leave immediately after if you promise to keep your mouth shut until I'm finished. Deal?"

I opened up my mouth to protest and he put his hand up to stop me.

"Do we have a fucking deal?"

"Fine," I muttered before gulping down my entire glass of wine. I put the empty glass on the floor and leaned back on the couch, crossing my arms.

"When we first started banging, I told you I 'didn't do relationships', right? Well, that wasn't always true, obviously. When I was in high school, I wasn't really popular with girls. None of them really wanted to hook up with the poor wrestling nerd, you know? That was until I met this chick named Becky when I was, like sixteen. I fell hard for her. She took my virginity in pretty much everything. She was amazing…she had a rack like…"

I reached down to grab the wine glass so I could throw it at him and he stopped mid-sentence. This was not off to a good start.

"…it's not important. Things were great for like four months, until I found out she'd started seeing this guy on the basketball team. She dumped me and a few days later, and then the bastard she cheated on me with dropped Polaroids of her sucking his dick into my locker, just to throw it in my face. That's when I decided that women were only good for one thing. My heart had felt like it'd been ripped out, and I vowed to never let myself be that vulnerable again.

"Once I started wrestling training, it was really easy to get with women just to fuck. Even at the scummiest Indy shows, there are chicks there who are willing to fuck any of the wrestlers, from the youngest rookie, to the most scarred up old vet. So, like, my plan worked for a few years, but eventually I started meeting some women I liked spending time with, as friends I mean. I dropped some of that old animosity and realized that not all women were lying whores like Becky."

He cleared his throat and took a breath when he realized he was getting agitated, and getting in his own way.

"So that's how my whole 'regulars' thing started. Friends with benefits from various cities I worked in several times a year. If any of them ever told me that they wanted a deeper commitment, I'd shut it down. I just wanted great sex with chicks I'd never see again or with women I thought were cool. That is, until I met you.

"I'd never been asked to bang someone by their male friend, so that was new, and after seeing how pissed you were that night, I craved the challenge. It'd become so damn easy to get a woman into bed at that point., you know? Anyway, you know how it went from there. The open relationship idea should have been a warning sign. I proposed it because I wanted to hang out with you more…and have more sex with you…but I didn't do relationships. That's what I promised myself for so long, but there I was, doing one. But I think by encouraging you to sleep with other people and by being able to continue banging other women myself, it didn't seem real to me. It wasn't a _real_ relationship in my head. But with each visit, I started feeling weird. I started feeling what I had felt when I was with Becky years ago. I first really noticed it when I reacted so strongly after watching that douche yank off the necklace I gave you."

He started pacing back and forth, clenching and releasing his fist. I rolled my eyes.

"Then I felt kinda jealous when I watched you having sex with Dave. Not so much because the two of you were fucking, but more because of the way you interacted with each other. But afterward when I was making you coffee, I thought about how happy you'd looked and that you feeling good was way more important to me. That's when I finally realized I loved you. Later that afternoon when we woke up, I almost told you that, too.

"But something stopped me, and I asked you to make pancakes instead. That voice of my teenage self who had his heart stomped. The younger version of me who said that relationships were bullshit and women were only good for sex. I was reminded of how it fucking sucks to feel vulnerable. I told myself that this was all a big mistake. I needed to be in control again, and I thought pushing you away would do that. That chick you found me with wasn't the first one I'd fucked without telling you, either. When we were on tour in Europe, I…uh…took a tour of my own. I thought it would make me feel in control of myself again. I didn't expect you to show up that night, but I was glad you did. It was easier to get you to leave me."

My body felt tense all around. My ears felt hot. It took all of my effort to stay seated and let him finish his damn speech.

"After that I went back to who I was before I met you. I kept telling myself it was why I wanted, reminding myself about all the fun I'd had over the years. It worked to distract me for a moment, but whenever I was alone, I still thought of you…and it pissed me off. So when we ended up showing up _that_ night, I was frustrated and honestly, nervous. I prayed you wouldn't be working that night, but there you were. So I took out my frustration on you. I provoked you, tried to push you…I knew exactly how to push your buttons. I thought it would make you storm out. I never thought you'd try calming yourself down in the bathroom. And my dumbass brain thought it was a good idea to follow you in, like that would send you over the edge and you'd clock out early. Course it turned out it sent you over the edge in a different way," he mumbled.

I glanced at the floor, unable to look at him. I still hated myself for giving it up to him that night…and for having enjoyed it.

"The part of me that loves a challenge came out to gloat after that. Like I was so good that I could get you to come even when you wanted to gouge my eyes out. But after you left, I felt shitty, so I drank...a lot. I'm surprised that Seth or Roman didn't try to stop me. Or that Dave didn't cut me off. They didn't know, by the way. Seth and Roman. They didn't know I'd been fucking other women without telling you first. Anyway, I don't remember much once I left the bar, but I do remember walking outside and yelling at your window. Seth filled me in on the rest after he got me back to the hotel. I don't know what happened between you and Roman either, but that motherfucker is terrifying when he's serious. Once I'd sobered up some, he let me have it. We had a long talk. He gave me some stuff to think about...about how I'm not the same person now that I was ten plus years ago. About how I based my entire opinion of women on one shitty experience. About how I was fucking up something good, something that made me happy. Then he told me I don't deserve you, and he left me alone with one of the biggest hangovers of my life.

"So I thought a lot over the last few weeks, about the stuff he said. Everything always came back to you. I don't like to be vulnerable with my feelings and whatever, I like to keep that stuff to myself, but I needed to come here and apologize for all the shit I've put you through and tell you that even though you don't want me in your life anymore, you've helped make me a better man in the end, and I'll always love you for that. I fucking love you, Lana. Thanks for the sub and the clothes. See ya."

He picked up his bag of clothes and started for the door. My heart was pounding in my chest. It felt like there was electricity in my veins.

I smacked my hand down on the arm of the couch. "No."

He stopped and stood still for a moment. My fists clenched tightly as I stood up, blood boiling.

"How stupid do you think I am?" I asked quietly, approaching him slowly. "How dare you come back into my life to tell me some grade A bullshit like that. You _love me_? What kind of sadistic fuck are you?"

I slammed my fist down onto his back. "You don't fucking hurt the people you love!"

Another fist to his back. He turned around to face me and got a third fist on his chest.

"Why would you purposely cheat if you loved me?! Why would you try to hurt me if you loved me?!" I punctuated every few words with my fist. "Why would you continue to hurt me after I told you I loved you? Why would you keep coming back to torment me? How could I still love you? Why do I still love you? Why…?"

I kept pounding my fists against him as he put his arms around me and pulled my body close to his. Tears welled up in my eyes, try as I did to hold them back. I gave in and buried my face in his warm chest.

"Why does Dave always have to be right?" I muttered into his shirt. "He said I still loved you, and he's right. I'm such a fucking idiot."

He pulled back slightly and smiled at me. "Maybe, but I'm a fucking dumbass who just so happen to love a fucking idiot, so I think it's going to be okay." He lifted my chin up with his hand. "I love you, Lana. It took me a long time and a lot of fuck-ups to get there, but I love you."

His eyes looked so bright. I stared into them, trying to find the lie, the trick. Searching for something to tell me not to make this mistake again, not to let him in. I couldn't find it. I saw vulnerability and genuine feeling.

"I love you, too, Jon."

He stroked my cheek with his hand and leaned down to kiss me, his lips soft and warm. I let myself go, my head finally surrendering to my heart, and I felt loved again.


	25. What Do You Want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by Halestorm's "Familiar Taste of Poison". Thank you for reading and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. It's like food for writers.

That kiss was the best one I'd ever had. It felt like it went on forever, and I never wanted it to stop. All the crap that romantic comedies and fucking Nicholas Sparks books say...dammit it's true. My world dropped from beneath me. Birds sang, seas parted, flower petals randomly fell from the sky. In that moment, I felt true bliss.

But eventually that moment ended. That one kiss became two. Two became three. Three became him carrying me to my bed, taking off his shirt, and unbuttoning mine. By the time his face was buried between my breasts, I realized it didn't feel right. I threaded my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth away from trying to unhook my frontsie bra.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't feel right about this."

"What do you mean? Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts about us..."

The worried look on his face nearly broke my heart.

"No Jon, not about us. Just...I don't know if having sex right now is the best decision."

He sighed and dropped his head back onto my chest. "Okay."

"Thanks...I just...I just don't feel right. I can't really explain it. I'm sorry."

He moved over to my side and kissed my cheek. "Okay babe. I'll wait, even though it's gonna suck. Just let me know when you want me to do dirty unspeakable things to you."

He winked and clicked his tongue. I didn't think I'd be capable of being embarrassed and nervous around him, given everything we'd been through, but I felt my face turn bright red as he looked at me.

"Are you seriously blushing?" That made me blush even more.

"No..." I lied, turning my face away from him.

"You are so fucking cute." He turned my head back towards his and kissed me.

He suddenly stopped and pulled away, his hands facing palms out. "I'm allowed to still kiss you, right?"

"Yes, you dick," I laughed, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back to me.

After several minutes of making out, we ended up lying on our backs, with my head nestled between his arms and his side. I took his hand and held it against my chest.

"I feel so happy right now, but I feel like I shouldn't," I mused.

"Why is that?"

"I feel like if I were on the outside looking in at this mess we created, I'd be judging the hell out of me."

"Well fuck that judgmental bitch." I kicked my heel into his shin. "Hey! What I meant is, if you feel happy, then enjoy it, no matter what your mirror you thinks. I'm glad this did all work out, too. I'd prepared for the worst, but it would've really sucked to go back to work defeated."

"Yeah, what's up with that? With work, I mean. How were you able to do this whole stunt in the first place?"

"I basically agreed to being the company's bitch for a month, like do every early morning tv and radio show on Earth, in order to get them to write in a small injury bit to my current feud. I'm assuming you didn't watch last Friday?"

"If I had been working while it was on in the bar, I probably would've thrown many a glass at the TV wishing it were your face."

"Figured as much. Yeah, I got hurt on Smackdown so I could get a week off and then I'm going to come back during the pay per view on Sunday and interrupt the replacement match."

"Why do they still call them pay per views even though most people just watch them on that network thing?"

"No fucking clue."

"Hmm. But wow, you were really seriously about this if you went through all that."

"Once Roman verbally beat the shit out of me and I realized he was right, damn right I was serious. Even if I wasn't able to fix what I'd done, I needed to let you know how I felt, if only to have some sort of closure. I love you and I was willing to do what I had to do to tell you that."

"Aww..." I kissed the back of his hand. "So does this mean I have you until Sunday morning?"

"More like Saturday night. They like the surprise people to get there asininely early to try to keep it a secret. It never works, though."

"So what do you want to do till then?"

"You already know the answer to that," he chuckled.

"Okay rephrase...what do you want to do that isn't me," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well my body is kinda fucked up after sitting against a wall for the majority of four days, so it'd be nice to go out and do something active. I'm still going to go out for a run in the morning like I usually do, but like, let's drive out of the city and climb a mountain or something."

"Okay, that sounds great. We can go after breakfast."

I turned onto my side and pushed myself up to lean in for a kiss. We settled down to go to sleep, his warm skin pressed against my back. His breath against my neck tickled and sent a pleasurable chill down my spine. This was going to be a rough few days.

* * *

"Man, This is a lot tougher than I remember!"

"What are you talking about? This is easy!"

"Yeah, maybe for you, but you're in fucking phenomenal shape and I'm not. Also, if it's so easy for you, why are you grunting so much back there?"

"Cause I get to look at your ass."

I laughed. "Oh, so you like it again? You said some hurtful things about it not being that nice when your were shitfaced and being a world-class prick."

"Aw man, seriously? Roman and Seth didn't tell me about that one. I am a prick."

I looked up ahead at the path and saw our destination. "The clearing isn't too much farther, and once we get there, you can grab my butt and apologize for being mean to it."

We finally reached the clearing and I put down the backpack I'd been carrying. I opened it up and pulled out two water bottles.

"Hey, toss one here," he said, holding up his hands to catch.

I tossed over a bottle like he asked and began to take out the rest of our picnic lunch. My hands were full when I heard him call out, "hey, hold this for me," and immediately got hit in the face with his sweaty t-shirt. I pulled it off and was about to scold him when I saw him take a swig of the water bottle and then proceed to pour the rest all over himself. I let out an audible whine that I quickly tried to hide by grabbing my water and chugging it.

"Are you okay there, Lana?" he asked. He slowly walked toward me, beads of water trailing down his arms and stomach.

"Yeah, yeah, just…thirsty. It's pretty hot out today."

I quickly went back to setting up lunch on the large slab of granite I was using as a seating area. I felt way too turned on for my comfort. I wanted to wait to have sex with him again, but fuck, he was making it very difficult. Right now I wanted him to take me on this rock with our bare skin exposed to the mountain breeze. I took a couple deep breaths and calmed down.

I scooted back on the rock so that he could sit down while we ate, but I made sure to keep the food in between us so he wouldn't get too close and I wouldn't be further tempted.

I took a look around the familiar clearing. It was near the edge of a steep dip in the valley and you could see far out into the mountain range. The hike up the mountain path had brought back a flood of childhood memories.

"My parents brought us here all the time when we'd travel to the area during summer vacations. As a kid I was always too afraid to go up to the fenced area near the drop off and look down at the river."

"Huh. You've never really talked about your parents before. And who's 'us'?"

"Us is me and my older brother. I haven't seen him in years. He got married while I was in college and he moved overseas with his wife. And my parents...we're just not really that close. Not for any crazy dramatic reason...just they live on the other side of the country and we don't have a lot in common. I mean what would I talk to them about on the phone? My life isn't generally that exciting, and it's not like I'm going to tell them all about the threesomes I had recently."

"I can kinda relate to that. My friends are my family now." He crawled around to the other side of the food. Once he sat down next to me, he reached his arm around my shoulder. "This is a great view. Thanks for bringing me up here, babe."

"'Babe', huh? That's new. I like it better than being called bitch all the time."

"I think it's good. I'll give you time to think of a replacement for calling me asshole."

"Nah that's not changing. You're still an asshole."

I laughed as he pretended to bite my head in retaliation. In the distance, birds sang a song that sounded as happy as I felt.

* * *

Later that night we watched a movie while he sat up in my bed and I nestled between his legs. My head rested comfortably on his chest. He stroked my head his with hand and I felt so relaxed. It was almost hypnotic.

Everything was going fine until a sex scene came onto the screen. My eyes widened slightly in surprise. I didn't know this movie had one, and it was getting pretty damn steamy. It normally wouldn't be an issue, but it was not helping me avoid having sex with Jon right now. My mind suddenly became hyper aware of him. The firmness of his thighs pressed against me. The size of his hand on my head. The slow, steady rhythm of his breath. The growing erection pressing into my back.

"Okay!" I blurted out, scrambling off the bed. "Well, I think I'd better go shower now cause I'm pretty smelly from that hike earlier!"

"I'm kind of smelly, too. Mind if I join you?"

"NO! Ahh, I mean no, I'm a hot water hog. I want to keep it all to myself, you know how it is...haha.." I awkwardly backed up out of the bedroom and ran into the bathroom.

I leaned against the closed door behind me, catching my breath that had apparently gotten away from me. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and sighed. I turned toward the bathroom mirror and hunched over the sink. Staring into the mirror, I shook my head at myself. What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not keep you goddamn libido in check? Are you so weak that you can't control your vagina around him? You're pathetic.

Sighing, I stepped into the shower and let the hot water punish me. Honestly, it should have been cold water, but I wanted to feel the heat somewhere other than between my legs. The burn trickling down my back felt good, and focusing on it helped me stop thinking about sex for a moment.

I washed up and rinsed off, but decided to take advantage of my being alone for a moment before I got out.

"Maybe this will help," I said under my breath as I pulled down the detachable shower head and turned it to the massage setting.

I sat down on the edge of the tub, fearing that I could slip and fall if I orgasmed while standing in the shower. I parted my legs and directed the stream of water in between. The pulsing water hitting my clit was intense and took me by surprise. I clenched my jaw to keep from making any noise. It didn't take long for me to go over there edge, and thankfully for me, it was a pretty big one.

After I dried myself off, I threw on my silky robe and took a deep breath before opening the door. I was afraid to go back into the room after my little episode. I paused at my bedroom door and peered inside. The TV had been shut off and the room was now only faintly lit by the street lamps outside. Jon was lying down and jerking himself off.

I stepped away and turned to put my back against the wall. I hoped he didn't see me in the shadowed doorway. I could hear the sound of his hand sliding rhythmically up and down his cock, and every once in a while, a small moan would rumble from his throat. I shut my eyes and felt that tightness in my chest again. I so badly wanted to be with him, to smell him, to feel the weight of his body over me. Yet this gnawing feeling stopped me. I simply stood outside the door listening to him whisper my name as he came, before eventually rolling over and going to sleep.

I waited for a few minutes before I finally went back to bed. I quietly snuck under the covers and snuggled up behind him.

"Hey..." he sleepily groaned. "Enjoy your shower?"

"Yes, Thank you."

"Mmm...good night."

I wrapped my arm around his waist and stuck my feet in between his calves.

"Hey Lana?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

A spear straight to my heart. My chest felt even tighter. _What the hell am I doing?_

"I love you, too, Jon."

* * *

It happened a few more times the next day. The whole me freaking out and pushing him away when anything remotely sexual or arousing happened thing, I mean. When he got back from his run in the morning, he greeted me by grabbing my hips and pulling me towards him for a kiss. The smell of his sweat and the heat from his skin made me nervous, so I broke away from the kiss earlier than he expected. He looked disappointed.

When I was making us lunch, he came up from behind me and slid his arms around my waist. He leaned in and brushed his lips along my ear before softly kissing my neck. I almost let a whimper escape my mouth. Instead, I glanced to the side and said, "You probably shouldn't distract me while I have a knife in my hand. You know, safety and whatnot."

"Right..safety," he muttered before walking away.

When I was about to head down to work for the night, I went to say goodbye to him as he was lounging on the couch.

"Feel free to take the car if you need to go out or just want to go somewhere. I feel bad leaving you alone."

"Mmhmm."

I bent over to kiss him and only got his cheek. "Okay, well...see you later then."

I tried to put all my energy into work to keep me distracted. Thankfully since it was Friday night, it was a packed house. I barely even had time to say hi to Dave. That was probably a good thing though, since I was 99% sure he'd end up asking me about what happened with Jon.

When it started to die down near the end of the night, I tasked myself with mindlessly wiping the bar and taking great interest in how shiny I could make it. It worked so well that I didn't notice someone sit on the stool in front of me.

"Hey sunshine."

I looked up to be greeted by the weathered face of Larry. I hadn't seen him around in a while.

"Hey! How the hell have you been? I've missed you."

"Good, good. I thought I'd stop by on my way home from my lady friend's house, to catch up. Did you ever tell that boy of yours how you felt?"

"Yeah, about that..."

I filled him in on how I'd had my heart broken. On how I backslided with Jon when given the opportunity. On how I broke my toaster. On how he showed up outside my apartment to apologize.

"Well I hope you crushed his sad excuse for Macadamias and gave him the old big boot out the door!"

"Erm..."

Larry's exuberance drew Dave's attention to out conversation.

"Hey yeah. So what happened? Is Jon still up there? Did you ever let him speak?"

"Yes and yes. I let him in two days ago after my landlady forced me to, and I listened to his apology monologue. Then he told me he loved me."

"...aaaaand?" both Dave and Larry spoke in unison.

I sighed and looked at my feet. "I gave in. I still love him. So yeah, we're back together, I guess."

"You guess? That doesn't sound promising. Did he have to leave after?" Larry asked.

"No. He's upstairs. He's here till tomorrow night. It's just...like...I'm happy about it...but I feel guilty about it. I've been pushing him away when anything remotely sexual happens."

"What? Why?" asked Dave.

"I'm afraid to have sex with him."

"You're insane. Sex is ingrained in your relationship. It's like the cornerstone. Jesus, Lana, it's so a part of the two of you that you guys had sex in a restroom at the same time you were at each others throats!"

"See that's why! I don't want our relationship to be just about sex! I don't want people to look at me and judge me because I can't keep my legs crossed around him."

"Who are these people who'd think that? Me? Larry? Don't repress yourself just because you think you have to or because of what other people might think."

"Just let it go, Dave. Stop trying to tell me what to do all the time. I just don't want to have sex with Jon, okay?!"

"That's a strange thing to say about the person you love."

I snapped my head over to the back door of the bar. Jon stood there, leaning in the doorway. I stood frozen, horrified.

"I was just coming down to have a drink with you guys before you closed. Would you like to elaborate on that thought?"

We stared at each other for a moment before I turned and hurried out the front door.

I started running. I didn't know where I was planning to go, and I was still on the clock, but I needed to get away from there. I didn't know what to say to Jon. How to explain what I was feeling. After a minute or two, I slowed to a walk and eventually stopped completely. I leaned my back against the wall of the building I'd stopped in front of and rubbed my hands over my face.

_Way to fuck it up, Lana. Way to take something you want and find a way to destroy it. You and your stupid brain._

I sighed and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the ground. I shut my eyes and thought about how I could possibly fix this.

"That doesn't look very comfortable."

I opened my eyes and looked up. "Larry? You followed me?"

"Yeah, well we figured someone needed to, and you might actually talk with me, so here I am. I wasn't about to run after you, bad knees and all. But I knew you wouldn't go far."

"I'm such a mess, Larry."

"Come on, girl, get up." He offered me his hand and I accepted, standing up and dusting off my butt. "Take a walk with me."

The night air was warm and humid. We walked in silence for a while, me following Larry's lead.

"I've been married and divorced three times. Most people would say that I'm not an expert on relationships because of that track record. I'd agree. I'm not an expert. But I've damn well learned some things from being a part of failed relationships. You have to communicate, Lana"

"But I did! I told him I wanted to wait for sex!"

"Nope, I need you to just listen and take in what I'm saying, okay?"

"Fine," I mumbled.

"Communication isn't just saying words. It's being honest in how you feel. It's the nonverbal things you do. It's listening to what the other person has to say, and really listening. So yes, you told him you didn't feel right and you wanted to wait. But think about the nonverbal communication you've been doing."

I thought about pushing him away, running away from him, and nonverbally rejecting him, even when he was only trying to be sweet.

"Have you sat down and told him why you're feeling this way?"

"Not really…"

"Have you tried having a back and forth discussion about how to fix this? Have you told him what you need from him?"

"Well...no."

"That's not a very good start to developing a solid relationship, don't you think?"

I grimaced as we turned another corner. Why do my friends have to be right all the time?

"Also, just saying you want something and then hoping it happens on its own isn't enough. You have to put the work in. And that goes for both of you, so don't think I'm implying that you need to work on the relationship alone. That's not a relationship. And it's going to take time. It won't just happen overnight. So although your decision to abstain from having sex with him until you figure things out, is that really what you want?"

"No, not at all. I've been tempted several times and it's only been two days."

"So why do you feel pressured to do this?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but then decided not to. I wasn't even sure anymore.

"I just have to sit down and talk to him about all of this. Then maybe I'll be able to think more clearly."

"Good. How about right now?"

I looked up at where we stopped and realized he'd walked me in a roundabout circle back to the bar.

"Thanks, Larry." I wrapped my arms around his barrel chest and squeezed him tightly.

"You're welcome, Lana. I just want you to be happy, my dear."

We said goodnight and I took a deep breath before heading inside. The bar was empty and the cleaning was nearly finished.

"Where did everyone go? We're open for five more minutes."

"After you ran out, the handful of people still around all cashed out and left. Some of them said they figured we should have an early night. We didn't lose that many sales."

"They didn't have to do that...but I appreciate it." I looked around the room at the spotless tables. "How did you clean up so quickly?"

"Jon helped. He's in the back finishing up the dishes."

"Seriously?" I tried to hide my smile. With all the emotional pressure I'd put on him the past two days, he was still trying to help make things easier for me.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"I texted Melody about ten minutes ago, so she's on her way to pick me up, and I don't need you to do any cleaning. We're all done. What I do need is for you to talk to Jon and figure this shit out. I know I gave you hell before about wanting him after he hurt you...and I'm always going to hate him a little bit for that...but we talked while you were gone and...I think he's a good guy at heart."

"Thanks Dave. I know he is."

The sound of the front door opening caused both of us to snap our attention to Melody as she entered. She was blonde, petite, and genetically gifted with an hourglass shape. She was absolutely beautiful, and I felt out of place simply standing in the same room as her.

"Hey, I hope I'm not late. Oh...?"

She looked startled, like she thought she'd interrupted something.

"Hi, Melody, I'm Lana, Dave's friend." I held out my hand for her to shake as she approached us.

"Right, The one who said I was his secretary."

"Dammit, Dave! Why would you tell her I said that?"

Dave was in hysterics. "I thought it was funny!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry about that...I'd had a stressful day."

"Who's the hot blonde?" Jon had just come out the door to the dishroom, a dirty towel slung over his shoulder.

"I should be asking the same thing. The name's Melody," she replied, her eyes taking him in.

A knot began to form in my stomach. After the way I'd been treating him these past two days, here was an opportunity for him to change his mind and run off with the new shiny. I honestly wouldn't blame him if he did.

"My name is Marco. I'm the bar's plumber," he responded.

I would've done a spit take if I'd been drinking.

"Is that so? I bet you must be very good at laying pipe."

"Sure, pipes, drains, sinks, you name it. I'm a very handy man. Right, Lana?"

"That's right...Marco. You're the best plumber we've ever had."

"Save the sweet talk for later tonight," he said, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Hmm. Nice pull, Lana," she said quietly. She turned to Dave and wrapped an arm around his waist. "So do you wanna go back to your place?"

"Yes please."

Dave locked the door behind him. Once they'd left, I turned to face Jon.

"What was that all about?" I asked, laughing.

"Did you want me to flirt with her?"

"Well...no. ...Did you want to flirt with her?"

"Not one bit. She was hot, sure, but you're the only woman I want." His charming words and smile made me knees feel weak. "So...we're all alone." He crossed his arms across his chest and cocked his head to the side. "Want to tell me why you've been so hot and cold with me? Or do I have to tie you up so you can't run away again?"

I felt myself getting aroused at his stern voice and I had the urge to run, but I knew that wasn't an option. I knew I needed to talk to him, but the words refused to come. I finally gave up at resisting and went with what felt natural.

"You want a drink? I want a drink." I went behind the bar, where I felt comfortable and less anxious. "Take a seat and I'll make you something."

He hesitantly sat down on a stool and leaned his elbows on the bar. "Don't think you can just get me drunk so I forget about what I want from you."

"I'd never dream of doing such a thing," I lied. A little part of me had hoped that would happen.

"I'll grab you a beer, but first I want you to try a shot I designed that is inspired by you."

"Really? Alright, bring it on."

"Great. You're going to have to close your eyes first. I want you to guess what's in it."

He raised his eyebrow at me, but closed his eyes anyway.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," I said once I placed the finished shot in front of him.

He looked down at the glass, then back up to me. "Why is it red?"

"Just drink the damn thing."

He picked up the shot and threw it back. His instantly grimaced in disgust. "What the fuck...was that Tabasco?"

"I call it the "Fuck you motherfucker". It's a shot of 3 parts whiskey and 1 part hot sauce. I came up with it as a way to work through the hatred I felt for you."

"Did you ever try it yourself?"

"Hell no. I'd never drink that shit."

"You bitch," he laughed. "You fucking got me, alright. Now give me that beer so I can try to work out the horrible taste in my mouth."

I opened a cold bottle and handed it to him.

"That's kind of how I felt after everything that happened between us. The cheating, the fact that I still craved you like a drug, and the fact that even though you continued to harass me after, I still couldn't let go. It left a horrible taste in my mouth, and my heart figuratively burned. Not like the heartburn you'll probably feel later after drinking that shot."

"I know I fucked up big time. If I could go back a few months and kick me in the balls, I would."

"I know. And I accepted your apology, but the part of me that thinks I'm a fucking idiot for doing so is also the part telling me to avoid you when anything remotely sexual happens. That part of me pushes this guilt on me that I'm pathetic and weak for being with you. So like in my head, if I have sex with you right now, it will seal my fate. Like we're not actually a couple again as long as I keep the relationship sexless because our entire relationship was built on sex."

"I think that sounds fucking stupid, but who am I to judge? I'm the one who thought that by banging other chicks, I'd stop being in love with you. I guess what matters most is what you feel in your gut. What do you really want? What will make you happiest?"

I was thrown off guard. I still wasn't used to hearing him say stuff like this. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge them.

"What I really want is some wine."

He laughed to himself as I drank straight from the bottle.

"Lush."

"Speak for yourself, buddy."

"I will. Get me a glass and some of that whiskey you used earlier. Without the fucking hot sauce in it this time."

I smiled and winked at him. "Sure thing, Marco."

I joined him on the other side of the bar and we passed the time drinking and talking. I felt no pressure, no guilt. He told me about his career goals.

"I've had both of the lower titles, but I still want the big one, you know?" he mused. "All of the boys do. I know I'll get there eventually. Also I want Roman and I to have the tag belts together. We can be called something dog related. I mean, big dog, street dog, hounds of justice…we'll probably be called the Canine Crusaders or some shit."

We laughed together and it reminded me of why I loved him in the first place.

"What about you, babe? Are you happy working here or is there anything else you want to do?" he asked.

"I know I'm not using my degree at all, but I like this business. I like the connections I can make with people. I making the drinks, and I like the creativity involved with coming up with new drink ideas. I thought of this fucking awful shot that the local college boys ended up loving. I call it Cough Syrup and it's Jäger and Grenadine. You know I've never actually told anyone before…but I kind of want to buy and run my own bar. "

"If you want it, you should do it. Every decision you make from now on should lead you to that goal. I'm looking forward to the day when I can say my girlfriend owns her own business."

I suddenly felt a strong wave of love for him rush over me…or maybe it was a rush of drunkness. Either way, it made me feel hazy and it shut up my overthinking brain. I knew what I wanted right now, and it was him.

I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. My breaths got faster and heavier, and I could tell his were, too.

"Do you want this, Lana?"

I rested my forehead against his, our eyes both half shut with lustful anticipation. Our lips parted, not yet touching, and for a brief moment, time stood still.


	26. I'm Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been a while, hasn't it? Finishing school, job searching, job obtaining, and working 40 hours a week (sometimes more) hasn't helped my desire to write in the past 15-16 months. The first 1500 words or so of this chapter were written about a year ago, and the rest was written in the past week. It turns out having an old friend begin to write again can do wonders for the inspiration. Song inspiration was also Rihanna's "Love On the Brain"...I listened to that one a lot since it came out and it only ever made me think of this story. So for anyone who used to read this story and are still interested, or for anyone who may be new to my erotic rom-dramedy, welcome (back) and I hope you enjoy!

_"Do you want this, Lana?"_

_The raspy bass in his voice lit a fire in me. The moisture of his breath mixing with mine as our lips barely touched. At that moment it felt as though I'd never wanted anything more in my entire life._

_"Yes…yes…I'm ready…I want it...I want you."_

_His mouth curled into a sly smirk and I felt myself begin to get wet._

_"You know what I love to hear you say," he purred._

_I leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I want to fuck you, Jon."_

_He slid his hands along my waist. His lips finally pressed against mine, and..._

...that's all I clearly remember.

I woke up naked and alone in my bed. Had last night just been a dream? Had the past few days just been a dream? No…it was too vivid and real for that. I had hazy memories of what had happened after everything went blank last night. I remembered Jon carrying me upstairs...I remember him taking my clothes off...but that's all I really remember. Everything that happened before was crystal clear. We must've had sex, I guess...but where was he now?

Probably out being athletic and in shape, Lana. No need to get yourself twisted up.

I suddenly realized I had a bit of a headache. I must be dehydrated from the drinking last night. I was about to get up to go find some ibuprofen and water when I noticed that there were two tablets and a big glass of water on my bedside table. Did I leave that there last night? No...Jon must've put it out for me knowing I'd need it when I finally got up. I smiled at that small gesture. It seemed so...boyfriendly.

I swallowed both tabs and guzzled down the water. I took a deep breath in through my nose. I already felt a little better just from the water.

..wait. Did I just smell something? I sniffed the air again. Yeah, I definitely smelled something, and it was burning.

I jumped out of bed and hastily grabbed my robe, flinging it around me as I rushed out of my room. I found Jon opening the window in the living room and trying to waft the smoky air outside. I should note that he was wearing an apron...and only the apron.

"What's going on?" I exclaimed.

"Oh, hey babe. I was trying to make you breakfast, but I guess I had the heat on too high."

He continued to wave his hands in the air, trying to clear out the smoke. He soon gave up and began to flap the bottom of his apron to air out the room. If only his fans could see him like this. Just, you know, with less nudity. He's not Seth.

I headed over to the kitchen area and looked inside the still smoking pan. I couldn't quite figure out what he'd been trying to make.

"Were these supposed to be…hockey pucks?" I poked one of the small, charred circles with a fork. How had it taken me so long to smell that something was burning?

"Uh...those were pancakes. I told you before that yours taste better," he said, coming up next to me and giving me a good morning kiss.

"Clearly. Had you ever made pancakes before?"

"Uh...no, not really. I honestly don't cook very much. When I was coming up in wrestling, I'd eat tuna and ramen and shit, and now I'm on the road most of the time. Even when I am at home, I tend to not cook. I have, like, one pan. Anyway, I was trying to do the dishes while they were cooking so they didn't have to be done later, and I guess I didn't check them soon enough."

"I'm just glad everything is okay. I was afraid the building was on fire or something."

"Nah, just me. Sorry for making you panic, babe."

"I forgive you. Let me help you with the dishes and then I'll make you breakfast."

"You really don't have to..."

"It's the least I can do to thank you for last night." I ran a finger down his jaw. His stubble felt rough against my skin.

Jon stood there looking perplexed. I walked past him to the sink.

"I mean clearly you fucked me into a sex coma, because I don't even remember it."

"You don't remember it because we didn't have sex."

"Huh?" I turned around. Now it was my turn to look perplexed. "I remember things were getting steamy, I told you what you wanted to hear, you carried me upstairs, and took my clothes off, so…?"

"You fell asleep."

"What?"

"Yeah. I went to kiss you and, you know, other things, but you fell asleep with your face on mine. I laughed about it for a good two minutes."

"Why didn't you try to wake me up?"

"Because clearly you were drunk and tired. You may have thought you consented to sex, but I didn't want to risk you regretting it this morning since you were avoiding it just hours earlier.. I love you and I will wait as long as you need before we have sex again. As you know, I have very strong hands, so I can take care of myself."

"So the vague memories of you bringing me upstairs and undressing me were you putting me to bed." I took a deep breath and smiled. "I love you, too."

I looked at the mess of a kitchen he'd left and chuckled. "We still need to clean this up. How about this? We deal with this together, and then I'll teach you how to make French toast?"

* * *

"Congratulations. You've finally made an actually edible breakfast that isn't cereal." I laughed as he victoriously threw his hands up in the air. "Now it just needs some maple syrup, if you'd like the honor."

He unscrewed the cap and poured the syrup, somehow managing to get it all over his fingers as well as the plate.

"Damn, that shit comes out fast!" He reached for a paper towel to wipe off the syrup.

"No no no! Don't do that! That's the good stuff!"

Without thinking, I grabbed his wrist, brought his hand up to my mouth, and put my mouth around his index finger. The taste of the delicious sweet syrup soon gave way to the taste of his skin. The innocence of trying to get every last drop of syrup gave way to the eroticism of sucking on his rough fingers. I looked up at him to gauge his response. He seemed rather amused.

I slowly took his finger out of my mouth, hoping I hadn't interrupted breakfast too much. He smiled and gestured to my mouth.

"You got a little on your cheek." He leaned down and gently licked the syrup off.

I turned my head so that our lips touched and he kissed me. The kiss was far less innocent than the one he greeted me with when I first woke up. He pulled away and smiled again.

"That  _is_  the good stuff."

I dipped my finger into the pool of amber liquid and smeared it on his neck.

"I know, right?" I stood on my toes and licked and bit at his neck. I let out a noise of pleasure at the salty sweet taste. "It tastes great on everything."

I could feel the heat rising in my body. I could tell my face was rosy, and that he noticed too. I glanced down and saw that his apron was beginning to tent up. I felt ready.

I opened my robe and dipped two fingers into the syrup. I ran them across my chest, then sucked the rest off of my fingers.

His tongue desperately ran along his bottom lip as he stepped forward. He swiped everything off of the counter with his arm. The plate of French toast fell onto the floor with a crash, but neither of us flinched. He grabbed my hips and lifted me up on to the kitchen counter. I leaned back while he licked and sucked the syrup from my breasts. I ran my fingers through his hair. He pulled back and gave me that amorous look I knew all too well.

I nodded and whispered  _yes_. I braced for what was to come.

His face disappeared between my legs. My muscles tightened when I felt his warm mouth touch the skin of my inner thighs. His lips lightly glided up toward my pussy. His arms wrapped around my legs and his hands gently stoked my thighs. I held my breath, releasing it in a gasp when I felt his tongue slip between my lips. His mouth knew exactly what to do, like it was working from muscle memory.

Still, there was something different about how he was going down on me right now. Just a little slower. Just a little hungrier. Like he was famished and my pussy was a source of nourishment. It felt fucking fantastic.

I tugged at his hair and raked my nails against his scalp. My tiny whimpers grew in volume, becoming moans and pleads for mercy. My toes began to curl as I felt myself nearing orgasm. When I finally came, my thighs squeezed against his head. I only released my hold when he tapped his hand against my hip, bringing me back down to Earth.

He finally emerged and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A smile crept across his face as I caught my breath. I looked down at him and stared into his eyes.

"Bedroom. Now."

"You don't have to fucking tell me twice," he said as he picked me up off the counter and carried me into my room.

He placed me down on my bed, taking a moment to throw off the apron and dig a condom out of the pocket of his discarded jeans. I smiled as I watched him. The man who could work my heart like putty. I was so turned on by him. I was so amused by him. I was so in love with him.

After sliding the condom on, he turned back to me, then stopped. He was just standing there, staring at me. I looked into his eyes for a brief moment, but suddenly found myself glancing away like a middle schooler with a crush. I felt my skin become flushed as he stared at me. It may have only been a few seconds of awkward silence, but it felt like an hour.

"You're so goddamn beautiful."

I suppose I should've felt bashful and started to tell him he's wrong and not accept his statement but… Screw it. I was going to take the words he said and brand them into my soul, never to let them go. They were mine now. I was beautiful to him, and for once in my life, I believed I was beautiful. My grin was so big that my face was starting to hurt.

"Stop being so sentimental and get over here so I can fuck you," I laughed.

He climbed down onto the bed and placed his body against mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pressed his cock between thighs. I grabbed his head with both of my hands as I pulled him into a kiss. Long, slow, sensual. The kind of kiss that took restraint and discipline. The kind of kiss that was still full of carnal desire, but was mature enough to know that we had all day to enjoy each other. I broke the kiss and brought my mouth over by his ear. I could feel his warm breath against my neck.

"And you do realize I had to 'fucking tell you twice', yeah?" I whispered.

He threw his head back and looked at me with a face that said  _are you for real right now?_.

"You really want me to punish you, don't you?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Do your worst."

With that, he pushed his cock into my pussy and together we exhaled a breath we didn't realized we had been holding. It's not like it had been that long since I'd last had sex with him - especially when compared to how long I'd gone without sex before I had met him - but this was something we both had clearly missed. It was like reuniting with an old friend. And having sex with them.

His hips slowly thrust in and out, with each thrust in having just the right amount of weight behind it to hit the exact right spot. His lips caressed my neck, his teeth occasionally raking against the delicate skin there. I could hear him laugh softly in between my rather loud moans. He knew how to play me and was going straight to the hits.

My hands couldn't quite figure out where they should be placed. One hand wanted to thread its fingers through his hair while the other wanted to squeeze his shoulder. Then the first one wanted to scratch its nails down his back while the other wanted to hold his hand. Then they both wanted to grab his ass and pull his dick even deeper inside of me. Such greedy hands.

I could feel everything building to a climax. A really big one. I knew I was going to be loud on this one, and given the time of day, I really didn't want to piss off my neighbors. I buried my face into Jon's neck and shoulder, bracing myself for orgasm.

"Hey, stop that." He knew exactly what I was trying to do. "I want to see your face. Eyes open."

I threw my head back and stared into his eyes as my body tightened and a rush of sensation flowed from between my thighs. My back arched and I let out a loud guttural noise. Jon just smiled, continuing to thrust.

When I finally calmed down, I grabbed Jon's face and pulled him into a kiss. "Thank you, that was fantastic," I said breathily.

"Oh, I'm not done with you yet," he growled.

He roughly grabbed my hips and flipped me over onto my stomach. I happily moaned and grabbed at the bedsheets while I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. He rubbed the tip of his cock between the lips of my pussy, brushing against my clit and sending a shiver through my spine. He then slid back inside of me until I felt his skin against my ass. I ground my hips back against him and rubbed his dick right into my g-spot, moaning again as I did.

"Have I ever mentioned that that is the greatest sound in the world?" he asked.

I chuckled softly and turned my head to the side. "Probably. But you're wrong. The greatest sound in the world is when you speak all low and raspy into my ear."

"Oh yeah?" He leaned down and wrapped an arm around my chest, grabbing one of my breasts and giving it a squeeze. His mouth was also conveniently placed right behind my ear. "You mean…like this?" His voice was like a husky purr. I could feel myself starting to drip down my leg.

"Oh god, baby...just like that..."

He lifted me up in his arms so that we were both upright and I was sitting on his dick with my weight supported on his strong thighs. One hand stayed on my breast, playfully teasing my nipples. The other hand traced its fingers down my stomach, finally nestling between my legs. He gently stroked a finger against my clit, my legs twitching with every touch.

He slowly rocked his hips back and forth. The pleasure that I felt was unlike any I'd felt before. The sex Jon and I typically had was hard, fast, and rough. The orgasms came quick and intense. This, however, was a slow build. The subtle movements of our bodies coupled with his handiwork, it felt like an orgasm marathon rather than a sprint. The sound of his breathing by my ear. The sound of him moaning by my ear. I could have probably climaxed from the audio alone.

I lost track of time as we moved together. It was just me and Jon.

He must have realized that my body was becoming more tense as I neared finish, because he brought my senses back to the moment when he softly spoke into my ear.

"It's okay to let go, Lana. I've got you."

Something about his comforting words let my body release its tension. Wave after wave of sensation came over me as my whole body shuddered. The strangest thing about it all was that I was completely silent, and, as you all know, I can be quite loud. I suppose my mind just didn't feel the need for it. This moment, this experience, was just between him and me. No one else needed to know.

I felt Jon's arms tightly hold onto my body right before he let out a long deep sigh as he came.

"That...that..." He seemed to be struggling to find the right words as he caught his breath. "That was the greatest sex I've ever had."

I smiled as I picked his hand up off my breast and kissed it. "I really have no words to describe it right now."

We stayed there for a moment, frozen, and everything was perfect.

Jon finally pulled out and kissed the side of my neck. "Don't go anywhere."

I fell down onto the bed and rolled onto my side. I wish I could take these feelings and bottle them for later. After a minute, Jon returned and lied down beside me. I rolled over and greeted him with a kiss.

"I don't know about you, but I think we need a nap."

"That sounds like a great idea," I yawned.

And just like that, we fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

I woke up to Jon's sleeping face drooling in front of me. He never looked sexier. I brushed the hair away from his forehead and kissed the skin underneath. He stirred a bit before his beautiful eyes fluttered open.

"Hi."

"Hi," he replied, smiling. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great. You?"

"Like a fucking drunk baby. I came so hard that my legs almost didn't work when I went to clean up."

"I'm glad I didn't get up because I'm certain I would've crumpled to the floor. I could barely move," I laughed.

"I think I get what Roman was telling me all along. Sex is sooo much better when you really give a shit about the other person."

"Hey! Are you saying you didn't give a shit about me before now?!" I laughed.

He playfully rolled his eyes at me. "Nah, but for real. Every person I've been with has either been a stranger and I was mainly looking to cum, or a friend with benefits and I cared about their pleasure, but I knew it was just for fun and afterward we'd go get a sandwich or some shit. But with you, right now...now that I've accepted what I'd been trying to fight for so long, and now that I finally grew a fucking pair and let go of the goddamn baggage I've been carrying for over ten years…it's like I've opened a door to a whole new world. This whole…romantic love…thing."

I rolled over and he wrapped his arms around my body. We spooned together quietly for a while, just enjoying each other's warmth.

"…So why me? Why now?"

The silence that followed my question formed a knot in my stomach.

"You know…I've thought about that a lot. I've thought about that since the second time the boys and I visited downstairs. Do you remember that night? You dressed as a prim school teacher, handcuffed me to the bed, and fucking left me there while you grabbed a drink at the bar."

I bit my lip, reminiscing about how bold I had been.

"That was pretty hot, by the way. I mean don't get me wrong, I love being the dominant one, but that's hot."

"I do love when you're the dominant one," I whispered.

"I know you do," he growled, nipping at my ear and making me squirm. "Anyway, that night was when I think I started feeling something for you. Nothing huge, just…I knew I liked you more than the randoms chick I had sex with when I was in town, even more than my friends with benefits. I had felt that same twinge that I felt as a teenager with Becky…and given everything I told you the other day, you know that I knew I had to fight that feeling as hard as I could…but also I hadn't felt that twinge with any of the other woman I'd been with."

He began to stroke my hair as he spoke. It felt relaxing.

"That twinge never went away. Roman made fun of me a lot for the fact that I was torn between wanting to be with you and not wanting to open myself to the chance of being shat on again, which was why I said we should be a couple even as I was continuing to sleep with other woman and encouraging you to hook-up with other people. He told me he could see right through my bullshit. Of course, I denied it. I don't like feeling vulnerable, and admitting to the very thing I was trying to get rid of was out of the question."

He laughed softly before he continued. "It's kinda hilarious that the moment I truly realized that I was in love with you was while I was watching you fuck another dude. Then when given the chance to tell you, I chickened out like a little bitch. And…well, you know the rest from there."

He took my hand in his and laced our fingers together.

"In the end, though, this feels right. You feel right. I feel comfortable and secure with who I am when I'm lying here beside you. I definitely made a shit-ton of mistakes along the way…but they were my mistakes and honestly…I don't regret a single one if they led me to you. I love you, Lana, and it took me searching through hundreds of women around the world, but I found you. The one who makes me truly happy."

I sighed and squeezed his hand. I knew he had slept with a lot of women, but it was still difficult to hear him say hundreds. Though when you really think about it, it shouldn't matter. It didn't matter, because he was here with me now, in my room, in my bed, in my arms. He had clearly opened up a lot to me over the last few days, and I felt that our connection was stronger for it. As scary as it felt, I realized that I should really do the same.

"I think I'm ready now," I stated firmly.

He shifted in bed, propping his head up on his hand. "Huh? Ready for what?"

I turned over and looked straight into his eyes. "You managed to work through your past issues…even if it wasn't through the healthiest of means…but you sure as shit did it. It's time I did that, too."

I swallowed hard.

"I'm ready to talk to you about Scott."


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those of you who read and left reviews. I really appreciate it. So this chapter has been a long time coming, and is an amalgamation of the divorces of two of my friends. I hope I've been able to convey their feelings of hurt and loss. Song inspiration came from Pink's "Who Knew?" Thank you again for taking the time to read, and if you enjoy it, please kindly leave a review.

"Scott? That's your ex-husband, right?"

I nodded.

"You've never really talked about him before."

"Yeah. That was on purpose. Honestly, even now, the thought of talking about him is making me anxious." I turned my head to look at Jon directly. "He's the main reason I acted the way I did the night we first met. The other reason was that you were a cocky dick."

"He's still there now, he just now knows when to pick his spots," he laughed.

"I had built my own wall of sorts around my heart…and my genitals. I remember telling Dave one night that I had sworn off love and relationships for good. I was clearly bad at them, given my track record. He said those were famous last words, which…well it turns out he was right," I said, gesturing to the two of us in bed together. "But I lasted for months with no problems and was perfectly content with loving myself, so to speak. I never would have imagined that I would've been able to let someone slowly chip away at that barrier until it all came crumbling down. Not after Scott."

"So…lay it on me. What's this dude's story?"

I reluctantly got out of bed and shuffled over to my bureau. I could hear Jon shift in bed as he sat up, curious about my actions. I rummaged through the top draw until I found a small lockbox and opened it, removing the contents. I sighed and returned to bed.

"What's in that envelope?" asked Jon, pointing to the item in my hand.

"You can't rush to the end of the story. It won't mean as much." I sighed again and snuggled under the covers. "I met Scott the spring of my senior year at college…"

* * *

 

_"I have no clue how you convinced me to come out tonight. You know I really hate these frat parties, Kait. Especially themed ones."_

_"Hurry up and drink that green beer so that'll you'll become fun, Lana."_

_Kait was that friend everyone has who pulls them out of their comfort zone. I'd met her in one of my classes my junior year. We had been study buddies, but we had enough things in common to form a friendship that lasted until graduation, at least._

_"I was 'fun' enough my freshman year and did enough stuff then to last me a lifetime. I think I'm good."_

_"Noooo!" she whined. "I didn't know you then, so that doesn't count! I've never been able to see you let go and get a little crazy. Plus, you broke up with Rob back in August and unless you've been hiding it from me, you haven't dated anyone or even fucked anyone since then! Come on, Lana, these are the prime years of our youth, when nothing has consequences!"_

_I envied her devil-may-care attitude. I could never flow with that. She did have a point though, I'd realized. It had been a while since Rob. He'd been a sweet guy and we dated for a whole year, but we didn't connect on enough significant levels…then there was the fact that he…_

_"Also we need to find you a new guy who doesn't suck at eating pussy!"_

_I did a spit-take with my beer. Not because it hadn't been true…I'd told Kait about that enough times…but that she yelled it loud enough for anyone at the party to hear._

_"I'm going to make sure that you get some D by the end of the night!" Kait let out a loud woo! that rang out, causing more people at the party to do the same._

_I shook my head, knowing my face was beet red under the dim lighting. I could also feel a stirring between my legs. Apparently just the possibility of having a biological dick inside of it was making my pussy excited._

_I scanned the room for potential one night stand material, only to grimace in disappointment. Every guy in the room looked like and was acting like your typical frat guy. That was definitely not my type, even if only for no strings attached sex. But then while I was eyeing the beer pong table, I noticed a guy who stood out…because he was dressed like a leprechaun._

_"Are you shitting me?" I stared in disbelief at this weirdo._

_"Who? Who?"_

_I pointed over at the idiot._

_"Oh! Are you interested in him? I'll go bring him over!"_

_"Wait, no, I didn't-!" Kait was already halfway across the crowded room._

_I finished my beer and felt my stomach churn as she dragged the stunned guy across the room to me. As he came closer, I realized that he was quite handsome, and that he had these intense almost turquoise eyes._

_"Hey Lana, this is Scott! He thinks you're cute!"_

_"Oh my god, Kait, we're not in fucking middle school." I turned to the guy and addressed him. "I apologize for her. Can't bring her anywhere."_

_"It's okay, most of my friends are like that. She's right though. My name's Scott and from a distance I did think you were cute. Up close though, you're beautiful."_

_I was slightly taken aback by the fact that he was speaking complete sentences, didn't once use the word "bro", and didn't say I looked "banging". I really hadn't had any good experience with frat guys up until that point, so I was super judgmental._

_"Well…thanks." My hands fidgeted, thinking of something to say. "So what's up with the leprechaun outfit? Do you pick up a lot of chicks that way?"_

_"Nah, but being a St. Patty's Day party and all, one of the brothers had to dress as the most stereotypical thing possible, and I got short straw."_

_I nodded slowly, unsure about how well this conversation would end._

_Kait was all smiles, oblivious to my doubts. "I think my work here is done! Have fun, you two…" she trailed off and went across the room to take Scott's place at the beer pong table._

_"So do I dare ask what she said to you?"_

_He laughed and his face lit up. Tiny lines scrunched around his beautiful, stormy eyes and I felt instantly smitten. "She asked me if I'd do you."_

_My jaw dropped and I smacked my palm against my forehead. "Again, I can't take her anywhere."_

_"My answer was yes, by the way." I felt my cheeks burn and I had to avert my eyes. "If you're interested, that is."_

_"It's not that I'm not interested…I'm just not sure about random hook-ups right now. I was in a relationship for a year and I haven't been with anyone since. You're gorgeous…I just I don't know if pulling my panties from under a stranger's bed at 5am and doing the walk of shame is the best idea."_

_"Fair enough. How about we go up to my room and I'll make you some coffee? I promise it won't be green. We can chat and get to know each other a little better, and there's no pressure about hooking up. If you decide you want to, awesome. If you don't, that's awesome, too. Honestly, I'm going to be happy just looking at you."_

_I sheepishly grinned, charmed by his no-pressure offer. I said yes._

_We had sex that night and started dating a week later._

* * *

 

"It was amazing, the best I had experienced at that point…until you"

I caught his cocky smirk from the side of my eye and nudged him with my elbow. He nudged me back, then I wrapped my arm around his neck, putting him into a crappy headlock, causing us both to laugh. I looked into his eyes up close, studying the color intently.

"His eyes were kinda like yours, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I noticed that immediately the moment I saw you. It pissed me off," I chuckled. "His eyes were one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place, so the very thought of them after the divorce sent me into a rage. I basically overcorrected, from my obsession with them to my loathing of them. But…I'd be a liar if I said that your eyes weren't one of the first things I found attractive about you."

"So then what? You guys dated for a while?" he asked. He seemed more into the story than I would have expected.

"Yeah, after we graduated…we were both in the same graduating class…we ended up moving in together. Our apartment wasn't too far from here, actually. It was a lot nicer than this one. Scott had gotten a sweet job offer right out of graduation and was making a lot more than most recent grads. Way more than I had. I was still working at various jobs, not using my degree, hoping I'd find something in my field, but the job market was tough. He never seemed ashamed of me, though, or seemed to be upset that he was making the majority of the household income. He was very supportive at that point. He was my rock. I was madly in love with him."

I stared off wistfully, thinking about the good times with Scott. My face must've looked awfully sad because Jon placed his hand on my cheek and pulled me back to the moment.

"Welcome back," he said, giving me a half smile.

"Thanks," I said, laughing softly. "Anyway, our second anniversary, he proposed. We'd talked about it casually before, marriage and whatnot. If either of us ever wanted to get married in general, the idea of having kids, that sort of shit. I never thought that he would have actually wanted to get married that early on, though, so I was taken by surprise. Like I said, I was madly in love with him, so of course I said yes. I didn't stop to think about the small details…or that marriage is hard. There's a reason all of the fairy tales that end in marriage stop there. It's only happily ever after if you end it before reality sets in."

I sighed and reached over onto the bedside table to grab a sip of water.

"We got married on St. Patrick's Day. Neither one of us is Irish. In hindsight, it was probably a pretty douchey thing to do, but to us at the time, we thought it was cute. It was very close to our third anniversary, and we had met at a St. Patrick's Day frat party, so it only made sense. Green everything. It was obnoxious, really. Even my hair was partly dyed green, but that was awesome. Even now, objectively, it was one of the best days of my life…"

* * *

 

_"It still feels a bit strange that my side of the church has maybe a total of 15 people on it, while Scott's has like…over a hundred." I sighed and messed around with the bust of my dress, trying to get it to look perfect._

_"It's not your fault you have a small family and his is ridiculously huge. Plus he invited all of his frat brothers, work colleagues, and other random friends. You're far more selective about who you call friend…which is why I've always wondered why you call me one."_

_Kait smiled at me in the mirror. We had grown apart since graduation, but we still kept in touch, thanks to social media. She was still the best friend I had, so I had asked her to be my Maid of Honor, and she had accepted._

_"True. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it just feels so lopsided." I frowned at my reflection._

_"Wait till his friends and family see you killing it in this dress, Lana, and they'll start scurrying over to your side."_

_I laughed and placed my hands on my hips, finally satisfied with how the dress sat on my body. "You're damn right, I'm killing it. Like The Bride in Kill Bill." I grinned while Kait shook her head. She never seemed to appreciate my media references._

_The ceremony went smoothly, albeit long. Neither Scott nor I were particularly religious people, but his family was, and they were fronting the bill for most of it. Traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding, which is a bullshit old tradition by the way, but my family couldn't afford a wedding large enough for the number of people Scott had been expected to invite. That was why we had a church wedding with the typical church wedding vows. I didn't care enough to have fought it. The reception was the most important part to me, the part where you get to celebrate the union of you and your partner._

_When we finally made it to the vows, he held my hand so gently as he placed the ring on my finger. He recited the vows as those eyes looked deep inside of me, and I believed them. I recited them back to him, slipping his ring onto his finger and fighting back tears. After we were pronounced and we kissed to the applause of our guests, he held my head in his hands and whispered to me._

_"I promise to love you, forever and ever, Lana."_

* * *

 

"Obviously that didn't happen, but I was young and gullible and believed every word from his lips."

"How would you have known then? If you had been a cynical asshole about love like I was, you wouldn't have gotten married or even seriously dated him in the first place. You were a normal fucking person with normal fucking feelings. I don't think you were gullible at all. No one goes through with a marriage expecting it to blow the fuck up."

I pursed my lips. "I guess you're right."

"Damn right, I'm right!" he laughed.

"Don't make me put you into a shitty headlock again, pal," I laughed, shaking my head.

"You know I prefer headscissors from you." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes in return.

"Didn't you get enough of that earlier?"

"I can never get enough."

My face flushed slightly and I cleared my throat. "Now is not the time for getting all sexy on me. I'm dealing with some major baggage here!"

"So far everything seems pretty good, like a damn romance novel or something. So how did it all end up in flames?"

"I couldn't see the smoke that should've warned me of the flames, but you know what they say. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. Thinking back on it…I'd say it was about a year into our marriage that there were signs of where things were headed. Not that I noticed any of it at the time. I think I'd been working downstairs for about a month…"

* * *

 

_"You think it's going to be a busy night?" I asked while absentmindedly drying a glass._

_"Maybe. Friday nights typically are…although this bar is never as busy as the ones down the street. This one is more of an old watering hole, rather than a trendy cosmopolitan bar that all the socialites, tourists, and college kids go to." Dave had been working there for a few more months than I had. He had already become someone I could trust and confide in._

_"I think I like it better that way, honestly," I mused._

_"I do, too."_

_It was almost six o'clock and the two of us were preparing for the influx of patrons after work. I heard the bar door open and noticed someone approach out of the corner of my eye._

_"Scott!"_

_As Dave had told me afterward, my eyes lit up and my face beamed at the site of my love. It's not like it was really ever a surprise to see him stop by the bar. He came to say hello and give me a kiss every night after work. However, this night had been different._

_"Hey honey," he said as he leaned across the bar. I had expected his nightly kiss that we always shared when he came to visit. Instead, he continued talking. "So I'm being pressured to go out with the partners and the rest of the staff at work tonight. They said be prepared to stay out late. So…don't wait up for me, okay? I have no clue when I'll get home."_

_I frowned, disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to go to sleep next to him that night. It was one of the things I cherished most. Being able to fall asleep with his warm body next to mine. It was one of the simplest pleasures in life._

_He saw my frown and responded in turn. "I'm sorry that it's so last minute, but they sprang it on me as we headed to clock out. This is the first time they invited me. They finally accept me as part of the team! I really don't want to blow this opportunity. Lana, you know that networking is important in my field."_

_"You're only a paralegal, though."_

_I could sense he wasn't happy with my statement._

_"Yeah, for now, but I always told you I wanted to go to law school some day. If I make a great impression with the partners at work, both in and outside of the office, I could have some really great recommendations to any school I wanted. This is important to me!"_

_I saw the determined look in his eyes. I wanted to be a supportive wife, so I gave in. It's not like it's a huge problem, I thought. It was one thing. Looking back, it was always one thing. When you only see each individual situation, none of them seem that bad. It's that whole 'not being able to see the forest through the trees' saying._

_"Okay, my love, I won't wait up. Have a good time."_

_I leaned in for a goodnight kiss, but ended up catching his cheek instead of his lips as he turned to leave._

_"Sorry, honey, I gotta run. The guys are waiting outside and the partners will be pissed if we're all late. Love ya!"_

_"Love you, too!" I called out as he slipped through the door. I sighed and went back to work. Dave didn't say anything for a while after that, but I remember sensing that he had really wanted to._

_A couple months later, after Friday night late outings with his colleagues became a regular practice, another situation came up that should have been a sign. Again, at the time it didn't seem odd, because as an isolated incident, it wasn't. One day, when I was off from work, Scott came home from work with a guitar._

_"That sure is a strange shape for a briefcase."_

_He raised his eyebrows at me. "It's not a briefcase, Lana."_

_"Yeah, I know. It was a lame joke."_

_I scrunched my eyebrows as he put down the case and opened it up, watching his fingers gently glide along the body of the guitar. Scott had never been one to be spontaneous. That's one thing that we had in common. Especially not since we'd graduated college and he didn't have the constant influence of his frat brothers. It seemed strange to me that he's just buy a guitar out of the blue like that._

_"So…I'm a bit confused as to why you left for work without a guitar and came back from work with one."_

_"It's been a lifelong dream of mine to learn how to play the guitar and…I don't know…I just decided that today was going to be the day I got that dream started," he said, proudly closing the case. "I signed up for lessons, too. They start on Monday."_

_"That's cool." I stood in silence for a while, trying to figure out how to word my next concern. "So…how much did it cost?"_

_"Three thousand."_

_"Three…wha…three thousand dollars?! For a beginner's guitar?"_

_"No, of course not. I got the best one I could find cause I won't be a beginner forever."_

_"Scott! Why didn't you talk to me about this first before making such a big purchase?"_

_"I didn't think I needed your permission before I bought something for myself, Lana. It's not like you talk to me before you buy your ice cream or renew your streaming subscriptions."_

_"You're right, I don't. That's because those are small purchases! They aren't two months of rent!"_

_"They add up over time. I'm just doing one big purchase that will last me for years. I wanted to do something for myself that made me happy."_

_I sighed, giving in to the purchase. It's not like we couldn't afford it fairly easily. He made a lot more money as a paralegal at a prestigious law firm than I did tending bar, especially since I was just starting out at the time and the bar wasn't as busy as it is today. Still, I should've been more suspicious. Just the knee-jerk decision to buy a guitar…and he had never mentioned to me ever since we'd known each other than he wanted to learn how to play. It seemed odd, but I figured maybe it was just a dream from his childhood that recently had come back to light and he wanted to see it through. He was a political science major in college and had been planning to take the LSATs soon. He was a meticulous person when it came to planning things most of the time, especially large purchases. I should've seen that sudden change in behavior as a red flag, but I let it go. I let everything go…because I loved him._

* * *

 

"Another thing I probably should've picked up on was that we didn't have sex as often the further along our relationship went. Not that that is necessarily a sign of a bigger problem in the relationship, but it can be sometimes. We weren't having less because of scheduling issues or added stress in our lives…and it's not like we stopped altogether. We had just enough sex to not make it obvious that it was happening less frequently. Just enough to make me not feel like I had to talk to him about it."

Jon was oddly silent. He was slowly stroking my hair, but he had no commentary to my last story. I turned my head and saw his eyes full of sadness and…was that pity?

"Oh fuck, don't you go pitying me now. I've managed to work through a lot of it since then. Thanks in part to you being in my life. Dave, too. He was there through the worst of it, and he was the best friend I could have had."

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Your ex-husband sounds like a real dick."

I laughed and gave him back a kiss on the lips. "He wasn't like that when we first dated. Or if he was, he managed to always keep it hidden from me. I think he just changed. People change. It's inevitable. The person I started dating wasn't the person I married, and the person I married wasn't the person I divorced. It's why when some people complain about how the high divorce rate is because of a lack of morals or some bullshit, I have to remind them that a lot of people get divorced simply because instead of growing and changing together in ways that the couple can adapt to, they grow and change in opposite directions until they're no longer compatible. There's nothing wrong with that. Friendships do that all the time and no one bitches about a lack or morals. I get that people hold marriage to a high regard, but it's still just two people trying to maintain a long term relationship and sometimes it doesn't last forever. It's a fucking double standard"

I took a deep breath and bit my lip.

"But if that relationship is about to end, there are definitely right and fucking wrong ways to let the other person know."

* * *

 

_"Tonight sucked," I whined, elongating the uh sound._

_"I know. I hate when you think you're done for the night and then some big party comes in an hour before closing and uses all your clean glasses. Anyway, you did great. Go home and get some deserved rest."_

_Dave clapped his hand on my back as we locked up. I smiled and waved to him as I hopped into the taxi to head home._

_I quietly snuck into the apartment, not wanting to disturb Scott. I know he had to get up in a couple hours for work and had a difficult time getting back to sleep if he was woken up. I tiptoed through the dark apartment to our bedroom, quietly stripped down, and climbed into bed. When I rolled over to wrap my arm around my husband's warm body, I was met with cold bedsheets. My exhausted brain didn't register that he wasn't there for a few more seconds, my hand blindly feeling around in the bed for his form. I sat up abruptly, panic and confusion in my chest._

_I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. I definitely wasn't dreaming. The bed was empty._

_"Scott?" I called out. Not surprisingly, there was no response. I exited the room and went to turn on the main light to the apartment. My eyes widened by what I saw._

_Most of the living room was empty. Artwork that had been on the walls, vanished. The brand new TV we had bought not too long ago, gone. Other than the thrift store couch I had brought home when we first moved in and a couple smaller items here and there, it appeared as though we had been robbed._

_Yet the room wasn't trashed. If we had been robbed, it had been done by the neatest and most polite thieves ever. I frantically looked around the apartment, making mental note of everything that was missing. It looked like it was mainly Scott's things. Other than some big items we had bought together, none of my belongings had been taken. And that's when I saw it._

_I had only noticed it out of the corner of my eye, as the gold color blended in quite well with the wood. On the small dining table that had been left sat a simple gold band. Scott's wedding ring._

* * *

 

"It was probably only a minute at most, but it felt like I stood there for hours staring blankly at the ring. I wasn't quite sure how to process it. Obviously, our place hadn't been broken into. I started searching around for a note or letter, something explaining what this was supposed to mean…even though I knew in my heart what it meant. There was nothing. There was no form of communication at all. No letter, no text, no phone call. Nothing to tell me why. Why this? Why now? Why had he not talked to me about whatever he had been feeling so we could work it out? I thought about confronting him at his job, but I was too afraid. I tried reaching out to some of our friends, but I was ghosted by them. I seriously started to wonder if I had died and was living out some Sixth Sense scenario. I felt like my sanity was slipping away."

I shook my head and laughed at the absurdity of what I was saying.

"I went through five weeks of that until I got a letter in the mail. It was divorce papers, but there was also a letter attached. From Scott."

I held up the envelope. Jon's eyes widened. I could tell that he simultaneously wanted to know and not know the contents. I sighed and handed it over to him, knowing that to fully open myself to him, to truly make myself vulnerable, I had to let him read it.

_Lana,_

_I'm sorry that it has taken this letter so long to reach you. It took me a while to write this so that you could understand what I did, and I thought it would be good to give you some time to begin moving on._

_I am not in love with you anymore. I haven't been for about a year, but it was only a few months ago that I started to get the courage to do something about it. It started out as a sense of boredom in my life. I just didn't enjoy hanging around the house watching movies every night. When I started going out with my colleagues from work, I would listen to their stories about their spouses and I realized two things. First, the ones who truly love their spouses would talk about them with such excitement and joy in their eyes that you'd think they'd just started dating even though it's been twenty plus years. I didn't have reaction that when I spoke about you. Second, the ones who have been divorced spoke about how much happier their lives had become once they admitted to themselves what they were feeling and were no longer ashamed about it. I was jealous of them. Once I began to embrace my passions, like the guitar, I realized that there was so much more I wanted to do in my life, but I was being held back by our marriage. I hated the routine. I was bored by you and slowly began to fall out of love, even resenting you at times, but I was afraid of hurting you. Now I've finally realized that by not being truthful, I was hurting both of us._

_So please, so that we can both move on with our lives and be happier people, sign the papers and send them back to my lawyers at the below address._

_Yours truly,_

_Scott_

I watched Jon's face in silence as he read through the letter. His eyes scanned back and forth as he read each line. His eyes became more and more narrow as he worked his way down. When he finished, he tossed the letter aside and scooped me into his arms, squeezing me tight. The comforting squeeze unlatched something inside of me and the tears started. He didn't say anything, just held me as I sobbed.

"I think the main thing from this that's been holding me back in our relationship," I began once I had calmed down, "is my fear of abandonment…of being abandoned because the other person becomes bored by me."

"I don't blame you. Not after reading that shit."

"And you, who lives this exciting life, traveling all around and meeting so many interesting people…why wouldn't you become bored with me? I just like staying at home. You've pulled me out of my comfort zone so much, whenever you've taken me out here or there. I've loved it, but I always feel a sense of relief whenever I come back home afterward. I just fear the day that you'll realize that you need a partner who is more exciting, more willing to take risks. Not some fucking homebody who's gravestone will probably say 'she watched every episode of Dr. Who' on it."

He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear breathe.

"I've been with adventurous women. Ones who want to go rock climbing and skydiving and go out every night. That was fun, but with how busy I am during the week with traveling, wrestling, interviews, whatever, it's honestly been really nice to visit you and not have to do anything in particular. Just talking with you and feeling you…it's like a vacation from my life. But that took me a while to admit to myself because I was never that guy. I've been a hell of a lot happier since I did, enjoying my time away more because I have you to look forward to. I can't erase what happened in your past. I can't say that we'll be together 'forever and ever'…"

I cringed hearing those words.

"…because who the fuck knows what will happen in the future. But I can say that right now, I want to be with you."

He turned my face towards him and stared at me with those eyes.

"I love you. I'll say it as many times as I have to until you-"

I cut him off with a kiss. He reciprocated in turn, and eventually one thing led to another. We made love again, and when I came, I breathed out a sigh. It was like my body and mind were releasing a tension that I had been holding inside of me for too long. I knew I still had a long way to go to work through my issues, but this was a huge step. I, too, didn't know what would happen in the future, but right now I was in the present with the man I loved, and that's what mattered in the end.


End file.
